The March-ers 2019 #6

[Angelmiracle]

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Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3354202-The-March-ers-2019-5

I am so, so glad that people are being honest about their desire for a certain gender. It makes me feel so much better, i’ve felt like a horrible, ungrateful cow for having a preference. Of course any baby is the most amazing blessing and their health is all that matters, but I guess a desire for a certain fit for your family is fairly normal?

Has anyone ever heard about “swaying” for a certain gender? I’m ashamed to say i’d have tried this if this pregnancy hadn’t been a complete surprise. I know when he’s here i’ll be SO glad I didn’t, but i’m think about it for any possible future child. Ultimately I just want 3 kids, as I feel DS will be like an only child just like DD if I don’t, but I can’t lie, i’d love to hope to have a DS and DD close in age.

@VillageFete I'm glad too! People always ask me which sex I'd prefer and I always go for the safe answer of "as long as it's healthy, I'm happy!"
I'd really prefer a girl. I'm not sure why really but I think a girls relationship with their Mum is really special, especially as they get older. Where as boys tend to fob off their mum a lot more (god that makes me sound so needy!) And all the girls clothes are so cute!
To be honest, i think it's the main reason why I don't want to find out what we're having. If they say a boy, I know I'll be disappointed. Whereas if i give birth to a boy, at the time I'm not going to care either way!

oh, my brother has a much closer relationship with my mum than I do. They're a team, always have been. She and I have a fine relationship, but he is so much more in tune with her emotionally - if there is any typical mother/daughter relationship in our family, it's theirs! So I guess I never expected to necessarily find a specific relationship with a daughter of my own.

That said, I always thought I'd prefer a daughter. Like before I got pregnant, it was a daughter I imagined having, and if I'd have been able to order a baby, it would have been a girl. And yet I'm so sure this pregnancy is a boy, and I know I'll feel a bit crestfallen if it isn't. I don't know why I've got so invested in the idea of this kid being male, but I have. Expecting some real FOMO if it turns out I'm having that girl!

So interesting reading about everyone gender opinions.

I'm convinced that I'm having a boy, I hope that I won't be disappointed with a girl, I don't think I would be but I can really picture myself with a boy. I am however very worried about find a name we like for a boy! So in general I'm confused about what I would like!

A week today we will find out! Can't wait!

I also had a gender preference, and as much as I'd have been ecstatic for either, I did want a boy. I think it may have something to do with being the older sister to 5 brothers. Boys are familiar to me. We know now that it's a boy and we are so excited.

I’m convinced it’s a girl (and looked most likely on the scan but couldn’t be confirmed). It will take some adjusting if it turns out to be a boy. Not that I don’t want a boy, DS is amazing, but I’ve got a picture in my head now of our little family.

Hello everyone, sorry I've been absent again! We've had family visiting from abroad, and my SIL gave birth to their second son so we went to visit them too, and everything has generally been a whirlwind.

ANYWAY. I really appreciate all the honest gender preference chat. If I could wave a magic wand and choose, I would choose to have a girl this time. My SIL also told me that she specifically found out at 20 weeks because she wanted a girl this time round too, and if it turned out to be a boy (which it did) she wanted time to get her head round it. In a weird way, though, hearing about other people's preferences has made me feel less bothered about whether this baby is a boy or a girl! I guess because now I feel like I don't have to feel abnormal or guilty for having a slight preference one way, and that I know I won't be alone in having a little twinge or two about letting go of the daughter I'll never have if this little precious bundle does turn out to be another son.

In other news, I got a letter through the post yesterday referring me to a stop smoking in pregnancy research programme. This was somewhat of a surprise as I have literally never smoked anything in my life - I've not even had a puff of anything! I rang them up to ask why I'd been sent the letter, and it turns out it was because my CO level was one point above the cut-off at the 12 week scan. She asked me if I live on a busy road (nope - I live literally in the middle of the countryside, I'm not even in a village or a hamlet!) or whether I walked to the hospital that day past lots of traffic (nope - I drove in), and whether I have a working CO alarm in the house (yep - and I've tested it and it works). So she's suggested I continue to get my CO levels monitored with my midwife to try and see what is going on. How bizarre?!

@ladycarlotta it's good that your brother and Mum get along so well.. it's given me hope as all I've really got to go on is my OH's relationship with his mum and they're quite distant.
@orangekitkat13 I'm with you on boys names. They're all so boring. There's literally 2 names that I like (they're quite boring as well to be fair) I feel like I could have 20 daughters and still be able to give them names I love!

I'm convinced we're having a boy too. I haven't had any morning sickness at all which is apparently a sign of a boy. When referring to the baby both me an OH call it "him".
I wouldn't be disappointed with a boy as I'm quite manly with my interests and habits so would probably be a better boy Mum than girl Mum anyway!

Welcome to the newcomers! Every time the list gets posted I'm amazed on how many of us there are now.

Loving the sibling and gender discussion as well. I'm convinced this is a girl so if it turns out not to be, I'll need a bit of a rethink. It's wonderful to have all the normalisation around preference on here - sounds like it's more common than not, to be honest. Even my niece seems convinced it's a girl - my sis in law sent some maternity clothes, and she insisted on packing one of her T-shirts she's just grown out of for the baby. So sweet and thoughtful, but if it's a boy I'm in trouble - lots of glitter and hearts on the T-shirt!

Pretty sure I've started feeling baby now - getting these pulsing sensations in my lower abdomen and a couple of times my actual belly has jumped a bit as well. Clearly it's having a party in there.

I seem to be in the minority that I don't have a gender preference and no idea whether this one is a girl or boy. I didn't with DD either probably why I'm happy to wait until the birth to find out.

@ladycarlotta i agree I think often boys are closer to their Mums, certainly in our family my brother is closer to my Mum and me to my Dad, and DS is definitely a Mama's boy! This is what I'm clinging to assuming the scan confirms nub theory conclusion that this is another boy - that and maybe it'll make for a closer sibling relationship with DS if they're same-sex.

@wordsmithereens congrats on feeling baby! They're so active at this stage as they've got so much room, but often can't feel them as they're still so little!

sprinting after bus Joey & Chandler style

Hello all, any chance you have room for one more really late comer to March '19? I know you're a few threads in and it can get a bit unwieldy but after a rocky start finally starting to relax and feel excited & would love to hop on board. 15 weeks today with DC1, small bump and EDD 29/03.

Thanks! - AfterEights (obviously please do tell me to haul my cookies elsewhere if you're too full!) x

Also interested in the gender discussion. I'm not sure if I want to find out but I think my husband does want to know now, so we most probably will. I expect I'll feel some disappointment either way even though I can't decide what I want more. Husband would like a girl.

@badbadbeans same thing happened to me too. Also never smoked even one cigarette, no one I know smokes etc. Do work in central London though so the 'stop smoking' nurse ended up concluding the high reading was probs that... You'd have thought they'd make allowances for it being a London hospital and all, surely everyone is in the same boat...!!

@Passtheaftereights yes of course you're very welcome to join, congratulations! Especially with a Friends reference as your intro 😁

Hi newcomers!!

This is so refreshingly honest! I’m so glad I can be open about my twinge of sadness that this isn’t the girl i’d envisioned or the sister my DD had envisioned. The funny thing is, if my gap would have been 4 years like i’d planned, i’d have loved a boy. We do want to try again, and we’ll sway for a girl because i’d love a boy and girl close in age. I’ve been looking in to it and there’s certain things people swear by to create more female sperm. We’ll see....

In terms of Mother/Son relationships... I know sooo many men who are close to their mum so this doesn’t worry me at all. My DP’s brother is literally their mum’s best friend and does so much with her and his baby son. My DP adores his mum, but doesn’t socialise with her like his brother does. He’s very anti social in his personality 😂

I have had my 20 week scan today and there is a problem. The baby has a bright bowel it can be a chromosome issue, cystic fibrosis something else or nothing I have a rescan next Friday.

Oh @Wineandchoccy I'm so sorry to hear that, so hope all is OK. How scary for you.

Sorry to hear that Wineandchocy, will the scan next week be more conclusive?

@PassTheAfterEights of course you're welcome aboard! I bet you won't even be the last. Glad to have you!

funny question: lately I've been buying maternity clothes on ebay, and they always arrive well-laundered but smelling like babies. I really remember my dad's partner smelling of baby while she was pregnant, so my question is - are there products that all pregnant women use that are very baby-smelling, or do their bodies genuinely start smelling like baby?

I hope so @Bluebelltulip we are in limbo at the minute so hope we have answers next week

@Wineandchoccy is the only thing to wait and see again next week? So sorry you've just come away with question marks and no answers. I can only imagine how you're feeling. Really hope it's nothing when you go back but know it will feel a long wait. Have they given you any stats or anything to focus on? Xx

Nothing apart from try and not worry which is easier said than done.
I was already having a bad week my Mum is in hospital following a hip replacement and is not well so it’s a really shitty week

@wineandchoccy Oh gosh I don't know how I missed your post! That sounds so worrying - I'm so sorry you've got to deal with this. Hope the week flies and your next scan has a lot more answers. Hugs to you x

Oh @Wineandchoccy I’m so sorry. Really hoping and praying that all is well at next scan. Lots of love to you. X

Oh no @wineandchoccy, that's the last thing you needed. :( Will keep everything crossed for the rescan next week, meanwhile wish you much strength and patience during the wait. Many hugs.