Really nice to hear all the age gap stories. I'm close in age to my siblings and our eldest are all intentionally close so I've been a bit freaked out by this age gap especially as this baby is a surprise. It's lovely to hear some stories of how it can feel. Four of our big five our boys, the youngest, my step daughter, is a girl, so I was even more shocked when we found out this bump is probably a girl. I'd decided I couldn't have girls. The big ones will be 20, 18, 16,16, 13 when this bump arrives. I've always enjoyed the big ones being part of a big family and don't want this little one to ever feel left out. Sometimes I think about whether I'll feel like another one to keep it company, then I remember that's nuts!
I'm trying to think about all the things I can do to make sure they feel as part of it as possible but we'll see how that goes - my biggest one saw my bump last night and said 'wow yuck there REALLY is a baby in there'. My youngest boy who is autistic keeps doing helpful maths like 'mum that means you'll have lived in a house with a child for 40 years when this one moves out and by the time it does you'll be nearly retired'. Perhaps they both need another sibling to practice their sensitive and caring sides on :-).
I've been a bit freaked out since my 16 week consultant appointment. After the late miscarriage last time I'd been doing a reasonable job of taking each day as it comes and being grateful that bubs is still doin ok, and none of my midwife visits had been anything special (other than saying I'd be consultant based care and they'd rather I give birth in hospital which I expected as that's been the same for each baby because of very big first baby who got stuck and retained placentas and PPHs). Consultant was amazing and had read all my notes and knew my obstetrics history and what had happened with my abnormal cervical cells inside out. She had spoken to the Consultant who carried out my last biopsy which again was great and so thorough, but lots of news to take in as they decided they are going to check me for abnormal cells during pregnancy which I didn't think they usually did so wasn't expecting, because abnormality was advanced and impacted a large area. I almost felt like crying it was such a relief to have someone so fantastic even though she was clearly really busy. But I did end up having to take the day off because she had wanted to see me at 12 weeks and it got missed somehow so she immediately referred me up to the big hospital for some more appointments that afternoon, and changed my scanning/appointments to fortnightly at the big hospital till 24 weeks. The first internal scan that afternoon they spotted risk of placenta previa which hasn't happened to me before and sounds a bit pants (I've always managed to avoid sections before and was hoping I'd manage to work till 40 weeks to max out my mat leave). It was a funny feeling of relief at amazing consultant, and being so so grateful for the NHS but also having a lot to take in about baby's health but also mine. I think I'm getting there now. Next scan on Friday. Reminding myself how lucky it is to know how bubs is doing so often (they do a quick external scan to check before the internal one). Reckon this bubs has already had more photos taken than most of my elder ones did in their first year. In my old maternity unit they did amazing hot chocolate in the vending machines, have to try and find something like that to look forward to so the sitting around in waiting rooms trying not to be stressed about my emails piling up is fun.
In other news I have managed not to tidy up, label, colour code or paint anything in the house for at least 48 hours so perhaps the nesting is subsiding for a bit. Everyone else in my house will be glad they can actually find stuff where it last was rather than having to guess where I've 'organised' it to (with fingers crossed it wasn't 'the bin', I've been quite ruthless)
Funny to think we're all around half way!