Feb 2019 Babies thread 6. Into the second trimester

[maxiflump1]

New thread ladies after the last one only lasted 2 weeks
Not sure about you all but I'm definitely feeling a lot better now at 14 weeks. Let's hope it lasts!! As you were.....

I thought I’d been doing OK with fatigue - it was hard to tell with the heatwave as everyone felt awful - but last Friday I felt like I hit a wall and this week I’ve been shattered every day. Yesterday I went to bed at 9.30 but could have easily got in at 6! I haven’t slept well at all the whole 1st trimester so hoping this weekend I can catch up on lots of sleep!

@powkin I'm the same. But I'm off work with whiplash at the moment and between that and being pregnant I've been having about 3 1hr naps per day and sleeping 11-7 too!

Hi @Lulabell I’m also 24 :)

Need a vent guys! Don’t know wether it’s my age or what but people’s reactions as I’ve been telling them have been bizarre. I’d say 90% the first thing they’ve asked me is “planned?” not just friends either...people at work?! My best friend even went so far as to say “how did this happen you were always so good with the pill?!” Her face when I said it’s was planned...I’m not that young 10 years ago 24 would be a perfectly average to have a baby. It’s not like we’re not prepaired or anything...have a house, good job we’re even married for gods sake
(not that that even matters!) just suprised that everyone’s so suprised! People just don’t seem happy for me, more worried/sad or shocked. I can’t imagen how horrible it must be for teen mums.

@Leonora94 a lot of people have asked us if it was planned too because it's our 3rd and there will be a small age gap...I can't believe people have the nerve to ask such a personal question...what does it matter if it was planned or not...your having a baby they should be excited for you!

@Leonora94 - people have asked me the same and I'm 31 with a 2 year old - I think people sometimes just can't keep their thoughts to themselves! Don't let it dampen your excitement! It's nobodies business anyway! Xx

@MrsY87 It’s so strange how manors seem to go out the window when you tell someone your pregnant...I’m not going to cope well when I’m bigger and people try to touch me lol already starting to bite when people asked me if it was planned.

@Leonora94 people have said the same to me and I'm 31.

Although our baby wasn't planned as someone else just said, they should be happy. It's a baby!

We are over the moon.

My partners dad reacted bad like he was in shock, we were too at first but it did make me question some family relations!

On the other hand my very non maternal auntie was over the moon, strange!!!

I can't tell you how many people have asked 'was it planned'... I guess coz I'm 43! The harder question is 'was the abnormality screening ok'?? Yes I know I'm old... I don't need reminding!! But I'm fit and healthy and it happened naturally so who am I to argue with nature?!

@Leonora94 I’m sorry you’ve had such mixed reactions. I’ve had people ask me if it was planned and I’m 33! I think sometimes it’s not age but just maybe if you haven’t talked about it a lot? I’m very private and don’t see my sex life or family plans as anyone’s business (not even close friends most of the time) so I think people are a bit surprised for that reason. I don’t think it occurs to some people that you wouldn’t tell them you are trying etc, I have no idea why. I didn’t want anyone else’s expectations or opinions, especially as I was prepared for it to potentially not happen and being high risk for miscarriage. I think also a few people want to make sure they are saying the right thing just in case you’re NOT happy before they get carried away with being excited.
I’m not excusing it at all as I’ve certainly never asked anyone questions like that because if someone wants to tell me more they will! It’s like the news short circuits some people’s brains!

We told everyone last night, mainly people are really excited (again, something I find weird, I don’t know why!). My mum was maybe the most surprised/wary.

Leonora don't worry I got the same with DS and I was 27 when I was pregnant so it's not necessarily an age thing. It was mainly from work colleagues but also from my sister (!) who then said why though, you hate kids! People's manners go out the window when you're pregnant, it'll get worse the bigger you get as you'll have comments like wow, can't believe you still have 3 months to go etc.

@Leonora94 I had dd1 when I had just turned 23 (26 with dd2). I didn't have many people ask whether it was planned but I did feel like a teenage mother at most things I did (not that it prevented me from making friends with mums in their 30s.) It will be quite strange to be 34 this time around! I'll be a bit envious of those in their 20s to be honest . It's such a rude question to ask whether it was planned. When I went for our private 10 week scan the sonographer said 'Oh well, most 3rd babies are accidents!' - I had to say 'well this was very much planned'. I'd just told her we'd had a miscarriage in April too!

I’m 30, married for 5 years, good household income, just bought a much bigger house close to our parents and have been in lovely new permanent job role for just over a year. Still been asked if it was planned... I think people just struggle to know what to say after ‘congratulations’

Thanks guys, glad it’s not just me and that people generally don’t seem to know how to react. Just wasn’t expecting how blunt people can be 😂 I’ll learn to laugh at it!

Don't worry lovely Mummies... soon we'll be discussing how we feel about people coming up to us and rubbing our bellies!!!

@NurseB 😂 that'll be fun!

@NurseB. I’ve already had a colleague touch my tummy. I was so shocked that I didn’t know what to say! We aren’t even close so no idea why she thought that might have been ok! She was really happy for me though so felt bad about saying anything - it was just so unexpected!

Is anyone else having this struggle lol??

The button doesn't do up anymore! So hair band trick it is also that means the zip won't stay up 😂🙈

My fingers have got so swollen I can't wear my wedding ring anymore XD

@Leonora94 I 100% understand what you've been going through! I'm 22 so even younger than yourself. Been with my partner 5 years have a house both have jobs but yet people seem so shocked and act as if it's a bad thing and automatically assume it was a mistake...we already have 1 son who I had only January this year and I am pregnant again. Nearly 16 weeks and people seem to feel sorry for me! The funny thing is we actually planned this one because we wanted them close in age; some people don't seem to understand that. It's frowned upon I swear...

@bubblybrit @NurseB I never had that problem with my first. I work in a hospital and some colleagues didn't know I was pregnant until I went on maternity leave. I'm plus sized and didn't really put on much weight and didn't show until 8/9 months... had a best friend at work who was due within weeks of me and she is very petite so was showing at 11 weeks and she hated random people touching her belly and I would just laugh...x

I'm there too @Alicejj8x ! Big enough that old clothes don't fit properly but still at the stage where most mat trousers fall down (possibly stretched after last time though). It's leggings all the way for me at the moment!

@Leonora94 I'm sorry you're having negative reactions. As others have said, it doesn't matter if it's planned or not and nobody else's business anyway. As long as you and your partner are happy about it that's all that should matter. I still get comments (rarely and not unpleasantly) from my NCT friends from last time because I'm the youngest and apparently have lots of time for lots of children! The comments don't bother me because they're said and meant kindly. I was 28 when dd was born so not particularly young. It's just that they were mostly mid 30s or older. We don't notice the age differences day to day because we're still all in the same stage of our lives.

@lanalawr
Yes leggings are the best I need to get some more though lol!!

frowningflamingo can I join please, I'll send you my email address. I think someone has tried to add me but I gave them the wrong address, oops.

I don't know whether the trousers would be the same but I bought size 8 maternity shorts from Gap and they fit really well. Maybe sizing down in maternity wear at this stage is the way to go? I am living in these shorts on holiday!

Just had my 16 week appointment and heard baby's heartbeat which was lovely 😊
Other than that it was just lots of form filling, taking blood pressure (which was 80/50!), told me about antenatal classes, etc.

Can't believe my next appointment is my 20 week scan - in four weeks' time! It's going so fast!