Pregnancy after loss: spring 2019 edition (The Brexit Babes) 🐧

[PassTheAfterEights]

Extra supportive pregnancy journey thread for grads of the penguin huddle and anyone due spring 2019 after a long and bumpy road.

All welcome 🐧

Thread commandments:

Thou shalt share and not apologise for any neurosis or worry

Thou shalt shuffle immediately to the centre of the huddle when feeling vulnerable or hopeless

Thou shalt share all photographs and good news and celebrate raucously that of others

Thou shalt not apologise for TMI, or pearl-clutchy words and language

Thou shalt add your handle, age, number of DC and EDD when joining the thread to roll call so we know where everyone is (thanks!)

May our beans snuggle down, heads stay steady & the elastic on our waistbands quickly snap x

Thankyou all xx
@halfbloodprincess you can have the nuchal and tests between 11 and 13+6 I think so you'll be fine xx

I will be 11+5 at my 12 weeks scan, so like @xJune88 says I think you'll be fine!

And @xJune88 what an amazing outcome! Where on earth did that bleed come from? See, our bodies and babies are stronger than we think!!! So happy for you!

Hi all, hoping it's ok to join. I've had two mc this year, one at 5 weeks and one mmc at 12 week scan, had ERPC.

I'm currently 5+3 and just so anxious. It's horrible. DS is 15 months, so I know how lucky I am but I've always had the dream of two under two.

Three friends from my antenatal group are currently pregnant and I'm just finding this all so hard right now. Need to start channeling positive thoughts!

Amazing news @xJune88 That is so fantastic. That active little baby is already causing no end of worry to his/her Mummy. I hope you don't have too much more of a turbulent time. You must be exhausted with all the stress but so glad baby is doing well and boucing around happily.

Congrats @xJune88 and @HalfBloodPrincess for your scans today! @xJune88 sorry you had the worry of the bleed- I hope that's the last of it for you!

@toasterstrudle welcome! We all understand the struggle on here and here for you to vent whenever you need!

Hi @toasterstrudle welcome to the group. Are your dates from LMP? If so, we're very close, I'm 5 weeks +6. Sorry for your losses. Totally understand the anxiety. Hopefully these little beans stay healthy and stay put for the next 8 months :-)

Also just realised I forgot to say welcome @Newbie21! Recognise you from the other thread- so happy for your BFP and keeping everything crossed for you this is your little 🌈

Hi @Jessabean I recognise you too. Glad it is going well for you. How far along are you now? Due in April, right?

Hi @Newbie21 - yes, from lmp so we're very close! Fingers crossed for successful pregnancies for us all!

Congratulations @xJune88 - what a fabulous outcome!

Thanks @Newbie21! Yea am 15+3 weeks now, due 8th April all being well. So thankful to have made it to this point with all being well but still can't quite shake the fear yet! 🙈

@toasterstrudle welcome and congrats. Do I recognise you from the November 2018 boards? I think mc around the same time.

Hi @HalfBloodPrincess yes! So sorry you find yourself here too. How many weeks are you now?

8+6 according to the scan today. Next scan on the 5th November.
It’s nerve wracking isn’t it, but lovely to be able to talk with people who know exactly how you feel.

Oh @HalfBloodPrincess what a relief today for your scan, congratulations! I'm only 5+3 but counting down the days until I can get an early scan. It's just such a different feeling to before.

A really close friend recently announced her pregnancy (her DS is the same age exactly as mine) and I'm just finding it so hard not to feel upset, which seems crazy since I am also pregnant. I keep feeling like it's temporary and need to shake that. Feel like I don't want to tell anyone until I'm past 24 weeks but I know that would be impossible!

Haha i know what you mean, I’m lucky in a way that I live so far away from all of my family (they’re in London, I’m in Wales) that I’m seriously considering to wait until the baby is here before I tell anyone!

And I get it, I really do. I have a few pregnant friends and I think it’s because even though I know I’m pregnant, I know how easily it can be snatched away, and I’m jealous of their undoubted belief that they’ll have a baby at the end, and the carefree way they can talk about their pregnancy, iykwim. Most of my sentences about pregnancy appointments, if we’re finding out the sex , future scans etc always end in ‘if we make it that far’ 😢

@toasterstrudle I'm hoping to make it to 20 weeks. Was going to tell the stepkids at Christmas but have since realised we may be accused of "ruining Christmas" for them as ex won't be pleased to hear news, so hoping to hold on til second week of jan. goodness knows if I can have an 18 week bump at Christmas and sneak it past a 16 and 9yo. The 16yo DSD barely visits usually so hoping a baggy Christmas jumper will do the trick.

I won't believe it's here til it's here.

I haven't really said much about this but I'm going for a scan tomorrow at midday and...initially I was really just booking it to confirm it's still in there after the rather exhausting "holiday" but of course I've now got myself into a fluster thinking it may have kicked the proverbial bucket since the last scan. God it's exhausting this pregnancy anxiety business.

At the same time though I feel I can't hold my breathe forever. @HalfBloodPrincess it's exhausting always saying "if I make it that far"...I say it too. I think I've just got to suck it up at some point and assume the best. More room for crushing disappointment if it's wrong but I'm not liking reinforcing my own uncertainty.

Oh lord guys. It's in there. It's caught up to 9+3 and it was bloody moving. It's got arms and legs. Can't get my head around this...

Now to break it to mum and hubby I went to the scan with a friend. Whoops ;)

Wow @frankiefumbles that's amazing!!! Did you get a pic? You've jumped ahead of me! I'm 9+2 based on my last scan at 7+2 (2 weeks ago) I'd love another scan but can't afford one so I'll have to wait for the 12 week one. I might have to take my DS who is 2.5... not sure it's a good idea but I don't have anyone to take him for me?! He wouldn't have a clue what was going on if it were bad news.

I also find myself ending my pregnancy talk sentences with 'if everything goes to plan...' it's sad that we feel we need to say that huh 😕

Ooh @frankiefumbles I also love that you went for a scan without telling! I'm planning a 16 week scan to find out gender. My husband is totally against finding out at 20 weeks... he promised I could find out with number 2 (DS was a surprise) I hated not knowing and felt I couldn't bond with my bump not knowing who was in there! So he's gone back on his word. He doesn't need to know. I'm going to keep it a secret from everyone 😆

Congrats @frankiefumbles! How are you feeling?

This will probably sound weird so I apologise in advance.

I found out the sex with my first 3. But I knew before the scans what sex they were. I just knew. I know it’s 50/50 but I just felt it. So I asked to find out for sure at the scans to prove I’m always right 😂

With my last pregnancy, I didn’t have a clue. And I said from the start I don’t want to find out the sex. That’s the pregnancy I miscarried. So I never will know. I wonder if it was some sort of premonition.

This baba, it would be easier money wise if it’s a boy as Im due 2 weeks before ds2s 2nd birthday so all the clothes we have match up to seasons, and I won’t have to buy a thing. But I think it’s a girl. I have 1 girl and 2 boys already and I really don’t mind what sex we get but I just have that same feeling I did with my first 3 pregnancies, so will be asking at the anomaly scan if they can tell me.

Thankyou all for so much support. Still petrified but starting to feel ok... (who am I kidding) yay @funkyfumbles I've never got to this stage with a live baby and seeing it move and jump is amazing isn't it haha! Don't believe it's inside your stomach, exciting. I was lucky today I'm 9+6 They said if I was 10 weeks it would of counted as my dating scan so now I get another one yay haha. Have to ring on Monday and book it. All went well at midwife. Excited to tell my family when I get results for nuchal tests. Hugs and love to everyone x

@kisses4u if he's young enough then just go for it, but it might be hard to hide your disappointment if there is an issue?

This scan was totally naughty and egged on by aforementioned friend.

I will tell hubby as I'm sure he will be okay but I believe a girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do. If that's a quiet scan that no one knows about, so be it.

@HalfBloodPrincess my jet lagged morning sickness still comes in the evening. I'm totally wasted now which I think is still jet lag. Friends just offered us out for curry at 8.45pm which stupidly I agreed to(!) so trying to nap now.

I am convinced it's a girl. I've been convinced for ages. Now, super super odd-ly. The scan lady asked me if I was finding out the gender and I said yes, definitely BUT I'm sure it's a girl. And she said ohh right. Anyway. When I've got home I've discovered there is a slot on the form which they can tick for girl or boy...she ticked girl.........???!

What's going on? I didn't think they could see at 9 weeks. She didn't say a word in person. Has she put it because that's what I said i wanted....? Gahhhh! Madness. Really don't know what to make of that.

Quick! Get the Nub Theorists here ASAP 😂

@frankiefumbles so pleased the scan went well. How exciting. So lovely seeing them kicking around.

On finding out the sex - I'm not sure what we will do. We didn't find out with DS but I was certain it was a boy and I was certain my sister, who was pregnant at exactly the same time, was having a girl and that is exactly how it panned out. I haven't made up my mind on this little bubs. I don't mind either way so might just have the surprise again.

@frankiefumbles oooh I don't know but I think girl too.

@xJune88 Wow amazing news!! I'm so glad all is ok!

@frankiefumbles Wow, amazing scan! Sneaky, I bet DH will love the photo.

I took a little break from here. I think it was somehow adding to my anxiety. I have my scan tomorrow, I'll be 9 weeks +2. Excited to see our baby again and much bigger. My 12 week scan date is 12th Nov, I'll be 12 weeks +4. Looking forward to that. Then one we frer results we'll tell our other friends, family and work. Close family and friends already know.