Pregnancy after loss: spring 2019 edition (The Brexit Babes) 🐧

[PassTheAfterEights]

Extra supportive pregnancy journey thread for grads of the penguin huddle and anyone due spring 2019 after a long and bumpy road.

All welcome 🐧

Thread commandments:

Thou shalt share and not apologise for any neurosis or worry

Thou shalt shuffle immediately to the centre of the huddle when feeling vulnerable or hopeless

Thou shalt share all photographs and good news and celebrate raucously that of others

Thou shalt not apologise for TMI, or pearl-clutchy words and language

Thou shalt add your handle, age, number of DC and EDD when joining the thread to roll call so we know where everyone is (thanks!)

May our beans snuggle down, heads stay steady & the elastic on our waistbands quickly snap x

@passtheaftereights the bleeding has stopped and I have to go back a week on Friday for another scan.

@Martydog Oh I'm so sorry to hear this. But try and keep positive. This sometimes happens and all is ok. Big hugs

@xJune88 That must have been awful. I hoped if I got a good scan then that was it. All would be ok. It looks like the worry never ends.

@Martydog hugs for you, you must be so anxious. Great that you've got the follow-up booked in for Friday though.

Scan done and so relieved that everything looks fine. I've jumped forward a few days so new due date 11th April, but we'll see what the NHS scan says when I finally get it. As usual my ultrasound images are really blurry due to tilted uterus but we could see the baby on the screen and really clear heart beat, all limbs, etc. Feeling so much calmer about it all so very glad I went!

@Purplefusia Oh that's good news. I glad your scan went well. How many weeks are you now then? When's your nhs scan?

Sorry @martydog realise you put that in your first post, wish you didn't have so long to wait. Keeping everything crossed for you, know it will be a very worrying time BUT bleeding is common and not hearing a heartbeat at this stage is too, so every reason to be hopeful. Will keep thinking of you, here if you need x

Glad all went well @purplefushia that's a great relief, fab to get another good scan over the line x

Thanks all! Now dated at 11 wks 6 days so almost at that magic 12 week mark! Going to chase up my NHS scan - they originally offered me 1st Oct but I had to change it as it was too early for me to get there, DSs nursery doesn't open until 8.15 and it's quite a drive through rush hour traffic from there to the hospital. But that was over 2 weeks ago I phoned them now and no letter yet. Just hoping it will come through in time for the NT tests, especially if I'm further along than thought, so I think I'll give them a ring and see if there's been a hold up in the post.

@Purplefusia Oh I'd have thought they'd tell you the new date on the phone. Annoying to wait for a letter. I hope you get the date soon. Exciting you're nearly at 12 weeks.

I’m 6 weeks today but I feel strangely detached from the pregnancy. I’ve been having some nausea but my first thought went to ‘I must have eaten something dodgy’ rather than first trimester sickness.

Really wish I could shake the feeling of impending doom.

@halfbloodprincess totally get what you mean I've had slight waves of nausea spesh when I'm hungry and I just think it's something else or my throat is irritated and making me feel sick. We will be ok xxx

@halfbloodprincess FWIW I was astonished at the waves of detachment I had between 6 and 10 weeks - it really messed with my head; I think it was a hormone-heightened psychological attempt to prepare myself for the worst but I felt super confused and doomed for days at a time. Only started to ebb away near the end of first trimester and didn't even start to feel properly excited after 12 week scan. Hang in there x

@Martydog we are in the exact same boat, I don't know but if you remember my post from last Friday after my 6 week scan (following a bright red bleed the day before) they could see a sac and the sonographer said 'congratulations I see a pregnancy' so it's the most you can expect at 6 weeks! They don't even like to say where you are gestation wise even, but at around 6 weeks you'd be hard pushed to see a baby or heart beat.
I have a scan a week Friday too, they said 'what time can you come' my reply was 'what time do you open?!' 😆 so 8:30am it it! Ha!
Try not to dwell on it, I'm sure things will be fine, I've got the additional worry of the sub chorionic hemotoma residing in there next to the sac, so fingers crossed this has improved. It's rather large apparently 😞

@HalfBloodPrincess I know what you mean. I feel like I've settled in the last few days after a massive emotional blow which culminated in me saying I didn't even want a baby any more. I somehow feel better taking that attitude. Guess it's as @PassTheAfterEights says and it's self protect thing.

@Pancakes7 the most sobering lesson to me last time was that the scan only shows the moment. I mc-ed the evening I was shown a "normal" scan with HB. I know what I'm looking for now and the flicker I saw didn't seem to be a heartbeat. The reading also showed the bean was smaller than it should have been, even allowing for some slippage, as I knew when I ovulated. It was a consultant who did it. Private. I think he was having a bad day and I was his last patient.

I would never trust a scan for anything other than the moment that it shows - it can't predict the future. Sorry to be depressing. I knew from that scan that there was a problem with the dates so I wasn't shocked by the mc but I was shocked by how soon it occurred after the scan. This is why my DH thinks that the internal scan prompted the mc. And maybe it was the thing that prompted it to come out. I don't know. I think it died about a week before the scan date given the size. But then at that age I kind of wonder whether it ever really became "alive"? I'm not sure when I believe it lives because I'm not sure it's at conception. I feel like it's at some nebulous point...I guess when they called it a fetus rather than an embryo.

Thanks @kisses4u I think the hardest thing will be going back to work and acting like there’s nothing wrong only 2 people at work know I’m pregnant. I hope we both get good news on that Friday.

@Martydog oh hun I'm keeping everything crossed that everything is ok for you.

@PurpleFushia I'm glad your scan went well.

@Martydog & @kisses4u so sorry your both having to go through this stress. I'm keeping everything crossed for you both.

@PurpleFushia congrats on your scan! 🤗

I've got my nhs dating later scan this & am bricking it! Felt quite reassured by my last scan at 10+1 but still doesn't stop me being scared that history will repeat itself. I think some of the fear is just physically going back to where my heart was shattered last time. 🙁 Doesn't help my OH is working away & couldn't get back for it in time so is just me- may need some hand holds! 🙈

@Jessabean Big hugs, I hope all goes well. Let us know. I'm thinking positive for you.

@Jessabean what time is it? Well be thinking of you it's hard going back to the same places x

Thanks @Pancakes7 & @frankiefumbles

Scan is at 11. I work at the hospital next door to the maternity hospital I'm going to so couldn't really get away with not coming into work this morning- just killing time and not getting anything near productive done until then though! 🙈

Thinking of you @Jessabean xx

Adding my wishes that everything goes well at your scan @jessabean

Just rung epu had spotting today and had waves of shoulder and neck pain since beginning. 7 weeks today scan at 2pm. Shitting myself. Surely I can't be so unlucky!!! Crap 😕

Hope all is ok @jessabean xx

Oh @xjune88 I do hope everything is ok.
Do you have someone with you?