Pregnancy after loss: spring 2019 edition (The Brexit Babes) 🐧

[PassTheAfterEights]

Extra supportive pregnancy journey thread for grads of the penguin huddle and anyone due spring 2019 after a long and bumpy road.

All welcome 🐧

Thread commandments:

Thou shalt share and not apologise for any neurosis or worry

Thou shalt shuffle immediately to the centre of the huddle when feeling vulnerable or hopeless

Thou shalt share all photographs and good news and celebrate raucously that of others

Thou shalt not apologise for TMI, or pearl-clutchy words and language

Thou shalt add your handle, age, number of DC and EDD when joining the thread to roll call so we know where everyone is (thanks!)

May our beans snuggle down, heads stay steady & the elastic on our waistbands quickly snap x

@PurpleFushia hope all goes peacefully for you in the next few days. I'm much earlier on than you but the next week is when both my miscarriages started. It's very hard to keep any form of logic and every time I pee I'm just so worried what I'll see. I can never decide whether it's emotionally easier to assume the best or the worst

@kisses4u brain running slow today. I'm on pregnacare too. I just didn't want the stress of having to research it online so I went to Waitrose and picked out the smartest box on the assumption that Waitrose would get it right. Not that I normally shop at Waitrose. Just somehow thought they'd sell a good one

Thanks @frankiefumbles - yes, these dates shouldn't mean anything, this is a different pregnancy, a different baby - but it's still so nerve-wracking isn't it! This past week or so has been really tough. I think because I'm quite a long way in I'm starting to feel like I should be out of the danger zone, then I remember that I got to here before thinking all was ok and then it wasn't ☹️ . I don't think there's anything I can do about worrying about it - at least being on here lets me talk about it a little with people who understand!

Just need a hand hold guys . I'm 10+6 and feeling so wobbly and insecure today. Just feel like somethings wrong , two v v early miscarriages before this like super close to this pregnancy and I had a scan at 9 weeks and here was a heartbeat. I just can't shake this awful feeling like when I go to my booking in scan on Thursday the baby won't have a heartbeat . Strange computed discharge today it was a dark yellow colour very odd. Anyone think their body is trying to tell hem something sometimes or am I being silly.

Colored not computed ^

Handhold from me @lolacola13 - sounds like we're going through the same worrying time! Just count off the days and distract yourself as much as possible - there's no way to know either way but the fact that you've had no cramps or bleeding is a good sign, discharge changes all the time I find so I don't think it's a good sign (though maybe ask if your midwife will check for UTIs if you're worried about it).

DS is in bed so I'm off to eat pizza and watch Strictly with DH, can't think of many better distractions than the new series!

Thanks @PurpleFushia ... it's just bloody awful this first trimester carry on isn't it. Miscarriage really does rob u of the joys of feeling excited about pregnancy . I just don't feel overly preg this week and I think that has triggered this cascade of negative thinking and expecting no heartbeat this Thursday. I have been doing some reading and dr google said the symptoms can ease from 8-12 weeks ( which seemed kinda a wide range to me )due to placenta starting to finishing development etc . My sickness was shocking at 8/9 weeks by now hardly anything. I need some sort of validation that I'm pregnant and bambino still has a heartbeat . :( ... how on earth I'll make it through to Thursday 11.30am I do NOT know . Xoxox hand hold and hugs to u too hun so shit isn't it

You're where I was at week 9/1 @lolacola13. Fatalistic, negative and very very mixed up.

For what it's worth: my DM said if you have no bleeding/cramping then no miscarriage. And if you have no symptoms then you have not had a missed miscarriage, either, because they are characterised by your symptoms continuing even if the embryo hasn't made it. So no bleeding/cramping/symptoms = good news. And when I rang the EPU they said the same, and also that it can all suddenly tail off around week 10 very commonly. AND missed miscarriage is extremely rare - much much more so than those of us who hang out on the TTC / loss threads think, because we represent the segment of the demographic who have had them. Nobody has started a thread about not having a missed miscarriage so it massively alters our perception.

As @PurpleFushia said - day by day, distract yourself, and think positive. You have a 97.9% chance of a successful outcome having reached this point, focus hard on that until your scan ❤️🐧

Typo, meant week 9/10

Thanks so much @PassTheAfterEights ... that helped a bit tbh! Just seems so early for a placenta doesn't it given the size of the wee thing.. how r u anyway feel like I haven't spoke to u in ages since our nutty ttc days... I still think of Twittlebee and thisisouryear hope they appear some day :( ... how many weeks are u?! Xoxoxox

Promise I know what you're going through, think we all will x it's suuuper hard to stay cool through first trimester but think you have done incredibly well & having got to this point things are really hopeful! I do so remember three weeks ago being like WHY is my sickness gone and what does it meeeeeaaaan - always said ttc was a rollercoaster but so is the first trimester!! I can't remember a time when I just thought people stopped taking precautions and got pregnant and had babies, no drama.

I'm good thanks my love, much much better since 12 w scan, just made me think OK well we've come this far which is better than ever before and all the nurses were saying congrats and go home and look at the pics of your lovely baby and it just made me think OK yikes, a baby, not dashed hopes and dreams - I can't wait for you to get there!! All of us really x

Do think of those guys often, MN is so funny, you can make such important connections & never know how things ended up for people!

@lolacola13 I completely understand how you feel. I'm so anxious. Only at 5 weeks + 3 today. Had mmc at 10 +5 in May. Stopped growing around 6 weeks. Got private scan booked at 7 weeks +3 on 6th October. Finding the wait so difficult. I so want to go and see our baby with a heartbeat. But so scared to go through the pain and heartbreak again. Fingers crossed for us all xx

@Pancakes7 @PurpleFushia @PassTheAfterEights I'm literally welling up feeling very supported right now , hormones must be going crazy. I'm very tasty today..Oh is supportive to a point but he has a penis so he's only going to be able to say and do so much lol his usual answer is Itl be grand love ur worrying over nothing . 🙄.. Xoxoxo

TEARY not tasty 😂🙄😂... I am most definitely not tasty after a 8.30 to 5.30 shift in a pharmacy . I am quite the opposite 😆

@lolacola13 lol!! Tasty! I'm the same, my MIL sent me a message just saying she wishes she was here and could give me a hug and I cried lol. Also DH randomly bought me flowers which was a lovely surprise. I think he's trying to cheer me up. Also missed me I think. He was away with work for a week.

@lolacola13 I read tasty and thought ooh err lad get in there ;)

@Pancakes7 "tasty. I'm the same" hahahaaa that's even better. Lucky you...flowers! My DH put the dishwasher on!

@PassTheAfterEights you're welcome back anytime! Keep the positivity rolling through. Really liked your post re what the midwife said especially about mmc NOT being characterised by an absence of symptoms (it's okay to have a double negative at 11.30pm?)

@frankiefumbles Haha I didn't realise how that read! Spent today with my SIL, nephew and niece. Cuddling my 9 month old niece really made me hope our baby is ok.

@kisses4u my midwife advised that I switch to just Vit D after 12 weeks, which I did but I've had to stop as it was making me ill. Going to try again in a week or so I think though being a winter pregnancy.

@PurpleFushia my MC was at 11 weeks too, hopefully you're doing ok and the scan shows good news. I'm 15 weeks now and still check constantly for signs of bleeding even though I can feel movement, it's a natural thing to worry about.

@lolacola13 I hope you're feeling a bit better today. As others have said, maybe ask for a uti check if discharge has changed but it sounds ok to me. I'd love to know what happened to some of the others from the TTC boards too.

@Pancakes7 I'm really hopeful and feeling positive for you that this is the one. Your scan will roll around quicker than you know though it will feel like a lifetime each day.

@Hidcat Aw thank you. We are trying to think positive. I'm so glad you're doing well. 15 weeks is amazing. X

Feeling sick today and got a headache 🙁 DH is being extra lovely and cooking us a roast dinner which is my favourite. Plus we bought apple crumble pudding and custard yuuuum. I hope I can manage it. Might have to lay off the gravy. How is everyone feeling today?

Hey everyone

Sorry catching up after a hectic weekend.
@kisses4u so glad your scan went well too! Fingers crossed for us all this time!
@lolacola13 Don't worry about the discharge- I had the same thing from about 7 weeks this pregnancy - asked my midwife about it and she said it's normal just hormones but checked my urine and did a vaginal swab as well to be sure - both were fine so think is just one of those joys of pregnancy! Still worth getting the checks done though just in case but really don't think it's anything to worry about.

I'm 12 weeks tomorrow & thought the symptoms were meant to be getting better by this point but have been feeling so sick - full on vomited in my mums car yesterday- luckily she's a ridiculously prepared woman and had a bowl ready! 🙈
Should be finding this comforting as a good sign but still can't help thinking the worst for my scan on Thursday- just having to face the thought of things going badly again- don't know how I'd cope! Doesn't help I have a really busy week at work coming up and I just can't think about anything else!

@HidCat 15 weeks that's great! What do the movements feel like? Must be so amazing!

@Jessabean at the moment they're really gentle, but it's a bit like being poked / stroked on the inside. I only feel it when I'm sitting / lying down and properly relaxing. I hope your busy workweek proves to be a good distraction and your scan goes well!

@Hidcat Wow you can feel movements at 15 weeks? I didn't know that. How exciting!

@Pancakes7 it's very early compared to most but yes - my DS was the same, he absolutely walloped me at 15weeks to the point I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared at my belly lol.

Can't wait to feel movements how amazing. Questioning if I'll ever get that far. 6+4 going to book an early scan as I don't feel pregnant at all no symptoms. After 2 losses I'm just on edge and would rather know sooner than later if baby is ok. Think I'll go for a scan every week or 2 aswell after a mmc it really is frightening x