The March-ers (2019) #3

[Angelmiracle]

We're a chatty bunch 😄

Thread 3 for the March-ers!!

Everyone check in please 👍🏼
🤰🏻👣

Can't remember who recommended the pillow from wowcher but mine came today and it is amazing ! I'm so exhausted, gonna sleep well tonight !

Newbie2703 That was me they are amazing enjoy your sleep you won’t want to get up in the morning

@Jenlou1992 my dates were all over the shop last time with DS - EDD of 22/06 based on LMP. Scan at 7 weeks moved to 02/07 (I panicked), 12 week scan based on LMP was the same. Had to go back for 2nd scan as the 1st turned out to be too early for nuchal measurement. Went back 9 days later at what was supposed to be 13 weeks and I was 14+2 and on the cut off day for the measurement. That gave me a new date of 28/06. The little shit bag was then 13 days over anyway 🙄.

@Angelmiracle ah that sounds just lovely. What fantastic timing with her coming over too. How bloody exciting for you both.

On another note, does anyone know much about employment rights? Long story short, I’m zero hours at work as that’s all I can do since having DS and being full time with them previously. I’m the 3rd person to do this in their history. My job is such that once I announce my pregnancy I can no longer perform my role. Previously, the ladies have just been told to go home with no pay for a few months and wait for their qualifying week before they are entitled to mat pay (if they’ve earned enough). Although zero hours, I’m technically an employee so surely they should be offering me alternative duties (they did when I was full time). My contract states I don’t get a leave entitlement or sick pay. Can anyone enlighten me as to whether it’s worth kicking up a stink?

Any suggestions welcome otherwise I’m going to be still trying to squeeze into my uniform at 25 weeks 😂

@wineandchoccy thankyou for the recommendation ! I have work in the morning too :( 5 days off after that though so it will be well used then haha

Hi all,

just for fun I thought I'd leave this here https://nationaldaycalendar.com/march/, it's a late night random google moment! What is your due date/National day?

Mine is 22nd of March, National Good Off day although 6w6d scan showed a couple of days short of this (but they wouldn't give me an exact date yet!)

@orville82, this may be worth a read: www.maternityaction.org.uk/advice-2/mums-dads-scenarios/pregnant/zero-hours-contracts-maternity-and-parental-rights/

Sounds like they're being a bit dodge already to deny you SSP/leave, based on this? Although I can't be sure the contract wouldn't supercede, because I'm very much not a lawyer (seems odd though, in the context of working rights). Maybe give ACAS a ring, they are supposedly very good with legal expertise and advising what your rights should be. 0300 123 1100 www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3457

Can't hurt to be clued up on what their obligations should be, at least.

@Orville82 so my friend had a sort of zero hours contract with sky (she freelanced there but the way they do it is to call you an ad hoc employee - no fixed hours, no sick pay, but tax deducted at source - PAYE)
They told her she wasn't entitled to maternity pay but because she'd been doing lots of hours and had been paid quite a lot, she discovered she was legally entitled to maternity. Despite her contract not saying so. She had to fight for it but got paid it in the end!!
I also was ad hoc at sky but freelanced loads of other places too so didn't qualify. I had to get them to sign a form declaring they couldn't pay me may pay so I could claim maternity benefit from the government instead.

@zugmrs national mulled wine day! I'll take that! Except it's now reminded me I can't have any this Christmas!

Another night struggling to sleep!

Hi @zugmrs how are you doing?

Not on the list but my due date is St David’s day. I have no Welsh connections so it’s not something I celebrate but I do love daffodils!

Thanks for the info ladies. I definitely think I’m going to have to investigate further with ACAS or Maternity Action. I should add, my employers aren’t bad people (well the HR lady is maybe), but they’re a private company still run by the guy who started it 30 years ago. They do wonderful personal things like shutting down and taking the whole company on a long all inclusive weekend. They are just a bit behind the times with some things.

zugmrs I feel cheated since my scan update that I’ve gone from National earmuff day to what seems to be a very serious day. It is however also National Ravioli day so it’s ok!

National pig day seems rather appropriate since I have got my appetite back but I’m also due on my Dads birthday

@Orville82 definitely explore alternative duties. The chances are there's something you can be doing whilst pregnant rather than not being able to work at all.

Hi, I'm new to the group. Found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago but thought I was 4 weeks. I've been spotting and bleeding throughout and on Tuesday it got quite heavy. Went to EPU and turns out I'm 8 weeks! Bit of a shock...also a bit scary as I've had quite a few big weekends like hens when I didn't realise. Turns out the bleeding is all normal but what I thought was AF was actually just pregnancy spotting.

New to mumsnet so not really sure how it all works and what the multiple threads are about... is there a max number of messages or something?

Looking forward to chatting to you all!

welcome @rainbowsandfeathers88, and congratulations! That sounds like quite a bit to get your head round, but glad the bleeding's OK and that now you get to join us!

Threads have a post limit of 1000, so we have to start a new one just before we get to that number. We've got 235 left on this one before we create Marchers #4... make that 234 now...

Hi @rainbowsandfeathers88 congratulations that must have been such a surprise!

Oh and public service announcement, Sainsbury's does a box of 20 assorted ice lollies for £2.75. Slight disclaimer that the lemonade one is vile if it comes back up... But saving a fortune on Calypos here!

Welcome rainbowsandfeathers88 that must have been a shock to find out you were further on than you thought

All good here, aside from then heartburn, cramps, general tiredness and on off nausea (although no vomiting, so there's that...).

On my early scan they found a heartbeat, so that's getting through to my next appt, next week (I'll be 9wks) - here's hoping they offer me another scan and they can date this one .

I'm travelling to see family and friends this weekend and already conspiring with dh about reasons I'm not drinking! They are a suspicious lot though, hopefully I can put them off the scent! Any ideas will be gratefully received

@zugmrs glad it's all going well! I've found that it is quite easy to just pretend to be drinking if needs be - eg if you're having wine with a meal, accept a glass and just keep it with you/discreetly pass it off to DH at some point. People may well not notice you aren't topping it up. In a pub, just make sure one of you gets a round in, order a soda water with lime so it looks like a g&t, and then pretend you only wanted one drink. I find all that to be easier than lying, but you can make up antibiotics or whatever too.

If it's a shots situation... well, I don't know what to suggest. Go to bed, I guess!

@zugmrs you could try Seedlip. It's a bit expensive but YUMMY and tastes like gin and looks like gin but it's alcohol-free. I also have soda water and fresh lime and make my own drinks and no one seems to suspect. Or they do and don't say as they know I don't want to be asked!

@ladycarlotta shots over the shoulder?

@rainbowsandfeathers88 bahaha! could work!

I forgot about Seedlip, I might give them a go. I never understood 'virgin' cocktails etc, but I do feel very robbed of nice summer booze.

It is pretty annoying that at this age, the ONLY reason you could not be drinking alcohol is because you're pregnant. I'd never really considered how basically mandatory it is in my friendship group until I couldn't do it any more. I'm not a huge drinker and don't struggle to say no, but if I was socialising I'd always have a glass of wine or a g&t, and I really love having a snazzy aperitif with restaurant lunch. I haven't found that being sober has affected how much fun I have at all (I'm pooped and have to go to bed at 10, but that's another story), so maybe in future I'll try to not drink so much out of habit.

ladycarlotta it is a shame that an excuse seems to be required for not drinking. I drank less after my first pregnancy than I did before (not that I drank much anyway) after being pregnant then breastfeeding (would have the occasional glass of wine while breastfeeding which I was told is fine) I guess I just got used to not having it.

@ladycarlotta this probably sounds terrible but before I was pregnant I wondered if I'd be able to give up booze. I'm not a big drinker but I love a Friday night gin or a glass of wine with friends. If I tried to take a month off I never lasted. However, I think it's just because I have no will power. If I drive to the pub I don't drink because I can't and being pregnant is the same. I don't want it because I can't have it. I also feel like shit and want to go to bed.

I agree it's crap not having nice things to drink though. Apparently, Kopperberg do a nice non alcoholic cider which could be a good summer option.

I'm going on a hen do this weekend...to Paris...and we're going to disney. Not sure how I'm going to get away with no rides, no booze and wanting to go to bed at 10pm...

Not quite a shots session lmao @ladycarlotta , but I have spoken to dh about ordering one and then leaving it to him to sip away at. I'm not fussed about drinking (mocktails or otherwise) during the pregnancy, plus it'll be out and about for dinners, but if I see the Seedlip out I'll deffo order that! Thanks @rainbowsandfeathers88

I know what you mean about socialising being about all alcohol or coffee, both of which are off the menu , only another month and the cat will be out of the bag!