The March-ers (2019) #3

[Angelmiracle]

We're a chatty bunch 😄

Thread 3 for the March-ers!!

Everyone check in please 👍🏼
🤰🏻👣

@angelmiracle @toastfiend @wordsmithereens after a slight meltdown (mortgage broker offered a good mortgage, estate agents want our solicitor's details, these poor people selling their dead parents' house, everything is riding on my accounts!), I contacted the accountant again and he said 'oh yeah, I can send you a tax overview right now no problem'. Whaattttt. I don't know why he didn't suggest it when I asked about my options before - I don't really have the vocabulary to communicate with accountants and I feel so out of my depth.

Anyway, I think it's all going to be fine? A tax overview is all the lender needs, I believe. Celebrating with tangfastics.

@Velcro88 weirdly I feel like way more of an imposter now we've told people! Like it's just going to turn out to be gas and I'll be so embarrassed. Eek.

welcome @LittleKitty1985, we're due roughly the same time! How are you feeling?

@toastfiend I'm so sorry about your horse. What a wrench. You'll find someone lovely for them though.

@ladycarlotta All's well that ends well! Great news, very pleased for you - and tangfastics are always a winner. :D

@ladycarlotta I'm feeling good thanks, I think I've had it quite easy so far, very little morning sickness etc. It was amazing to see its little arms and legs wriggling on the scan, made it feel so real!

My gynae said to just eat whatever I can when I feel like it. There’s plenty of time to be healthy after the first trimester.

Ds is convinced that he wants a sister. I would quite like a girl too, I feel like if we have one of each then there is less pressure if we decide to go for a 3rd child.
I had no preference first time around but DS is a cool little dude and I can’t imagine any other way now. He’s wild and adventurous but also really sweet and gentle unlike his female cousin who is a bruiser!

@ladycarlotta great news hopefully that sorts it out!

@Velcro88 can't wait to get my notes but it'll not be until 13 week mark or so. It's a green file everyone knows your pregnant when you have one. Is yours green? Maybe it's just our trust.

@LittleKitty1985 welcome to the board. Glad you're feeling normal! It's great you've had your scan already you must be reassured!

@Velcro88 I've got to take aspirin from 12 weeks as history of high blood pressure in my family. I do t want to though as it gives me nose bleeds!

@LittleKitty1985 welcome!

Angelmiracle mine are white, last time though I had a plastic wallet with ‘Maternity notes if found please return to .....’ on the outside but they have stopped doing them so it’s not quite as obvious this time

I've got a ridiculously big folder with Mama written on it and lots of multicoloured boxes with tips and all sorts all over it.

Literally cannot hide it. Luckily I can pull out the blue notes folder if I need to.

@Angelmiracle my midwives don't seem to give out the green folders - I got my notes in a brown envelope, very inconspicuous until they wrote "midwife appointment..." on the front 🤦🏼‍♀️. Incidentally, they've also lost them. I was supposed to pick them up today but they were nowhere to be found. We're hoping someone posted them though. @TheWanderlust I think we have something like that Mama one but it's a separate book / folder.

@HidCat I am responsible for keeping absolutely everything. So if it goes walk abouts it really is all my fault. They don't keep copies of anything except scans.

I’ve literally only not checked in for 10 hours and I’ve missed loads!!! Welcome to the newcomers.

In my news, I’ve had over 24 hours of nausea - hurrah! I won’t be saying that by tomorrow I’m sure but it makes me feel better about things progressing.

I’ve got my private scan tomorrow and I swear my body did it with my last pregnancy too - both times I found out I was pg and my boobs started hurting the next day along with the bloat stating. Last time I booked a private scan as my symptoms disappeared and low and behold, the morning of my scan the nausea returned. Is anyone else’s body playing silly buggers with them mentally?

@Murphyrocks @orangekitkat13 good to know we're in the same boat, and yes I think the positive is that we'll be monitored closely and hopefully all will run smoothly!

@Angelmiracle mine's orange with MATERNITY NOTES boldly emblazoned on the front...

@ladycarlotta exactly. Heaven knows I've had plenty of that!

Now I'm hoping you guys can give me some advice: I'm going to the wedding of one of my school friends on Saturday, and there's a group message gone round asking if people want in on a taxi, as we'll all be staying with our parents back home. I'm going to drive as I'll obviously not be drinking, but there will be great suspicion if I announce this to the group! I will be 10+6 on Saturday and it's not often we all meet: do I just let them know, or try to style out some excuse for not drinking...? I'm nervous about sharing because I've not had the scan to reassure me everything is ok, but it would be more comfortable to be open about it and it would be nice to be able to talk about it. What do you think?!

Following this @Velcro88 - I've got exactly the same issue on Sunday! A few raised eyebrows as to why I'm driving and not joining in the drinking games!

Welcome to the newcomers!

@Velcro88 I think it’s what your more comfortable with, as you say it is nice to be able to talk openly about it but I completely understand the hesitation pre scan. I’m going for dinner with some friends this week that I only see every few months, so think I will probably tell them as I trust their discretion! Is it a group you are close with?

This end I’m pleased to say I have my 12 weeks scan date, hurray! 23rd August, so nervous now!

@Velcro88 @TheWanderlust I was in this situation over the weekend; it was a mate's 30th and everybody was going to be there. For me, it felt easier just to take the opportunity to tell everybody (via WhatsApp beforehand, did NOT announce at the party and steal the birthday thunder), because lying about why I wasn't drinking etc just seemed like such a ridiculous stretch when I was going to tell them all in a couple of weeks anyway.

I felt fine telling them because I'd had the scan the week before; you know your own comfort zone. I must say just telling them made it way easier to a) get a proper spare room with some friends rather than crashing on a sofa, and b) sneak away when I was tired. You get such carte blanche as a pregnant lady!

Velcro88 I haven’t had to do any nights out in this pregnancy where I have had to pretend but last Pregnancy I managed a whole weekend away with work ‘pretending’ I was drinking it was quite easy because the more everybody else drinks they don’t take any notice of what you are doing. Or you could say you had one to many the night before and feel a bit iffy

@Velcro88 @TheWanderlust I am fed up of the secrecy to be honest. I'll be telling my sis this week at 7+4 & will probably say to best friends after 8 weeks. I think it will be a relief! Scan isn't to Sept too far away! We are in Disney Paris late August so I will be able to hold on for scan to tell further out family after that.

@Velcro88 I literally know people who told everyone the minute they got their bfp, and others who told noone until after their 20 week scan. It really is individual choice; personally I'd tell people (have a similar one this weekend too with my NCT group from ds) but it depends what you're comfortable with.

@Velcro88 you could consider a half truth. Tell them you aren’t drinking because you are ttc and you could be pregnant. Obviously works better with friends who are in the same stage of life and understand the ups and downs of ttc. I did this a couple of times to explain why I wasn’t drinking, but it was earlier on, around 6 weeks.

I told three close friends very early and DH told his boss and 2 besties. After the 9 week scan we told our families and some more friends (because we were spending a weekend with them). The close friends I told first have been amazing, sending lots of little messages to check how I’m doing. I’ve been really grateful for the support.

@Velcro88 it's tricky isn't it, secrecy and deciding when to tell people. This weekend I'm going camping with my closest friends and I'm going to tell them, though I probably would have left it til later if I wasn't seeing them then. I don't drink much so don't have to cover that up, but I want that carte blanche like @ladycarlotta said, to be able to have a nap and for no one to question how many packets of salt and vinegar crisps I get through in a day. And anyway I see them so rarely and I would like to tell them in person so now's the time! The scan has given me some reassurance though I can understand how it's hard without seeing what's going on in there to feel confident enough to tell people!

@ladycarlotta I'm so glad you've been able to sort the financial proof - how exciting! You'll be armpits deep in your own runner beans and courgettes in your splendid new garden before you know it!

@Velcro88 if you wouldn't mind them knowing if you had a loss, then I would tell them. Most of my friends know now and I really am fine with that. It helps that they also know I miscarried last time because they understand that I'm approaching it with caution. @Shampooeeee's half truth is a good option if you would prefer to be more cautious though.

Now then sicky ladies, a friend who has worked in many African countries told me that people there often carry limes on buses to ward off travel sickness. They scratch the lime skin and sniff it. I made a chilli today with salsa and guacamole and lots of lime, and did some experimental lime sniffing. It smelled wonderful and really did cut right past the nasty taste I have at the back of my mouth all the time at the moment. I'm also going to try squeezing fresh lime juice into my drinks of water as I am finding water difficult to drink at the moment (usually I down pints no problem). Thought I would pass on the wisdom as I am rather excited at the prospect of something to take the edge off the perpetual quease!

@TheWanderlust luckily the only reason they had them is to type them into their systems. So at least there should be an electronic copy available.

@Velcro88 it's one of the hardest things. As others have said though, if you'd be comfortable with them knowing about a MC, just tell them. If not then there's a decent list of excuses. One I used recently is that I can't drink when it's hot as I pass out. No-one batted an eyelid. Otherwise you could use Health kick, antibiotics, overdid it night before, made a tit of yourself last time you got drunk so trying to cut out booze (be armed with a random story of how you embarrassed yourself for this one though!) or just straight up saying you're getting too old for this shit lol (not that you are, just a good excuse especially if you're over 30 lol).

@badbadbeans good tip re the lime.

I definitely spoke too soon - from feeling amazing yesterday and eating curry I now feel dreadful. Went to a friend’s bday drinks and after five mins was throwing up in the loo! Had to sneak out and sit on the pavement until DH got me some crisps... I think it was the fact I didn’t eat for 7 hours - won’t make that mistake from now on, snacks it is!

Thanks for all the advice ladies. It's good to hear your thoughts- and I think I've resolved that I will tell them. @ladycarlotta and @Pearcrumble I think that's a good point about being able to leave early guilt-free, and have everyone understand... I am a bit anxious about having to be 'on' all day, so it would be a relief to be a bit honest! I'll have to sleep on the idea of having to tell them if I were to mc though: it's hard to imagine what that might be like as a first timer. Argh!

@TheWanderlust have you decided?!