The March-ers (2019) #2

[frankiefumbles]

Eek! On thread 2 already...welcome over everyone!

Hi, I joined the last thread but it moved so quickly I couldn’t keep up!
Age 30,
Live in west Mids,
Third baby, 3 yr old and 1 year olds already,
I think due start of March, I’m in a bit of a muddle, last periods was around May 25th?
How does the Facebook group work? Obvs not told anyone except hubby yet, thanks!
Huge congrats to most but so sorry to those in the last thread with terrible news :(
I’ve booked a private scan for July 28th just so I can check it’s actually in there...

Does anyone know what the deal is with excercise? Am I ok to just carry on? I’ve gone on a fitness binge the last three months, (baby unplanned), I will clarify with midwife when I eventually meet her...

welcome to the new thread, @lilyblue5! I know it moves fast. The FB group is probably easier to manage - I think @FrankieFumbles and a few others are able to add you if you want.

With exercise, broadly speaking if you were doing it before you're good to keep doing it, but your ligaments are loosening and you will be getting more tired, so just play it by ear. If you're a member of a gym, you could talk to a trainer there about it? I don't think it's that vital to keep pregnancy under wraps in that sort of situation.

Ahh thanks @ladycarlotta!
Yes gym member, not a cheap one and I’m paid for the year (though they do a maternity break so that’s one thing!) I think I’ll give it a go and switch to swim instead of gym as I grow bigger!
Please @FrankieFumbles, I’m guessing it’s a private Fb group?

Hope everyone is feeling ok and not too nauseous? I’m starving, heading shopping in a minute so a dangerous and expensive combination!

I've contacted Citizens Advice Bureau to find out what we'd be entitled to.

Working in retail and had this job (with promotion) for 10years - a colleague is on maternity at present and my boss has clearly stated "we don't pay her after 6 weeks so the budgeted pay for her can be used for overtime if we need it." So I'm pretty sure I'm right.

As for child care I'd be hoping MiL would be able to do the 2 days but haven't mentioned it as yet. DH is an ostrich when it comes to finances which doesn't help.

Good plan @RachaelT! I hope you get some useful information from them. You might entitled to more due to your length of service. I know my job you get a better package the longer you have been here (up to ten years) so may be worth asking xxx

Thanks for the new thread @frankiefumbles - can't believe we need a second already!

thefirsttimer
Age 25
NW
1st DC
EDD 1st March (6+5 today)

RachaelT it is hard being on mat pay but do you manage. I was only on smp and managed to take 12 months off.
Acas website is really good for advice as well.

That’s hard RachaelT. Here is a link to some info about tax-free childcare which might help a bit if the MiL option doesn’t work out. It kicks in earlier than the free hours at 2 or 3 years but is a % contribution from the government, not a free amount, so you’d still have costs yourselves.

Agree with what others have said about return to work date. 6 weeks is very early, and if you have a difficult birth, you may not be physically strong enough to return to work at that point.

@ladycarlotta I had an apple with a bit of peanut butter as my elevenses. It was delicious!

I'm jealous of those of you who are hungry! The only things I'm managing the last few days are ready salted crisps and some ginger nuts - far from my idea of a fruit and veg filled pregnancy!

@lilyblue5 I've sent you a message

For anyone interested in joining the Facebook group,tag me on here so I can see it. You can only see the PMs on the mumsnet website.

The Facebook group is a secret group, so you have to be friends with an admin in order to be added but once you are added we remove you as a friend and there is no trace of the group and totally private. I generally send out my Facebook page details as I've got an unusual name so easy to find!

So when you guys were taking early scans and not posting the photos I kind of wondered why. I get it now. There's almost nothing to see...!

So I went to see a consultant today (don't bother with this, a midwife is just fine. It wasn't worth the extra money) to have an early scan. The reason I went today was because I specifically wanted to see him and he was going on holiday. I wanted to wait til 8+ but...I really wanted to see his guy on recommendation I knew it was a bit early and we weren't able to see a lot. He said it was a bit too early to tell, but everything in the right place and there was a tiny potential flicker of a heartbeat but it was very hard to see.

So basically I would be 6+4 but I'm a bit unsure about the ovulation and the period and so he said I was 5+something rather than 6+something but doesn't think that it's an issue, it's just likely to be my dodgy dates. So I'm definitely not going to be in the first week of March but I've got a big question mark over the dates. He also said that if it was a heartbeat we saw I would have a 97% chance of it continuing. So I'm rather hoping it was a heart beat.

I've attached the scan, I guess really to discourage you from going quite that early...or at least so you can see the sort of thing you might get...because I do feel a bit like I didn't quite see enough to reassure me totally. I wish I'd stuck to my guns, but with the chap going away I just kind of had to go with it.

Now to try and hold out until week 12 with the NIPT (doubt that will happen but don't want to pee money down the drain) ...

*week 10!!
*also I should add it measured a mere 1.2mm which is outrageous when I think about how rubbish it makes me feel

Rachael I'm pretty sure you'll be able to do shared parental leave - you need to have both been employed for "26 weeks before the 15th week before baby is due" so approx the time you conceived - you should just scrape in! Possibly a good option for DP to have some time off with baby if you are the higher earner. Most people live off savings / credit cards IME. Don't forget you'll get child benefit of £21 pw if neither of you earn over £50,000, and tax credits don't include SMP as earnings I don't think so if household income will be less than around £27k while you are off you might get something. Also you accrue annual leave and bank holidays while you're off so could stretch your leave out that way.

I am pregnant with DC4 (I have 3 DDs aged 6, 4, 2) Due around 3rd March so 6+2 ish today.

Thanks @SweetheartNeckline but DH started his job when I was as 5 weeks pregnant (we found out 2 days before!) just rallied and deffo out on this :(

@frankiefumbles I have my scan booked when I think I'll be 8w exactly and it's only £79 ( I assume a private ob consultation is more based on the bills I see when we use our insurance ) you could have one of those for reassurance?

I'm sorry Rachael I misread 10 days ago as 10 weeks ago

My scan confirmed that I am having another miscarriage 💔 I am so devastated that I've lost another baby in such a short space of time. I'm going to ask to be signed off for two weeks so I can take the time I need to deal with this.

I am so so grateful for all the messages I received from everyone on MN. What an amazing group of ladies! Even though my family did not know I still felt like I had so many people behind me and hoping for the best. Thank you so much ❤️

@frankiefumbles I saw what you said on the other thread and I realised you are so right. We just told my parents and Mum said straight away I should have told her when it started on Sunday! We have agreed not to tell my sister until she's home from hospital as she's in a bad way right now after a traumatic labour.

I meant to add that I wish you all healthy pregnancies and hope that I was the only unlucky one in the group.

I have no regrets joining the Facebook group now that I have to leave as I was able to put faces to names and enjoyed getting to know you all for a brief time.

Good luck ladies xx

Hello folks, gosh this moves quickly!

Puravida31
Age 31
This is baby number 1
Hampshire

The hunger has kicked in this week, I think I’m pretty much living off variations of carbs + cheese, sorry baby!

@Redrobin7 I’m so sorry, I didn’t see your message before I mindlessly babbled on about cheese. I’m so very sorry for your loss, sending you lots of love and virtual hugs. I hope your mum and DH are looking after you xxx

Oh @RedRobin7, I'm so so sorry. I'm pleased you took @frankiefumbles' advice and told your mum, I hope she's able to give you more strength and comfort. Thinking of you and wishing you all the very best. X

Big hugs @RedRobin7 xxx

@RedRobin7 so sorry to hear your devistating news.. I hope your family do support you and glad you have some time off work to rest.
I hope your sister recovers quickly from what sounds like a very traumatic Labour. I hope everything works out for you x x x

Huge hugs @RedRobin7 glad to hear your mum is there for you.