December 2018 Babies - Thread #3

[MagicalCreatures]

Welcome oldies and any newbies.
Hope you all found the group ok.
And continue ............

Hi everyone
@Stephisaur that must have been really worrying for you but thankfully everything looks ok.
Welcome @Rompom my scan pic isn’t great either. Baby was really curled up and the sonographer wasn’t very patient. At one point baby stretched out and we could see everything but she didn’t take a picture. Was gutted.

I have also had stabbing pain in my Hoo Haa 😂 Have had then just a couple of times lasting for maybe 5 minutes.

So, I’ve got a long one for you all. Sorry in advance. It may take me a while to write it. But I can’t sleep and I’m really upset 😢 ........./

Here it goes...
Went to my cousins wedding tonight. Haven’t seen everyone since my wedding a year ago so was having a lovely night. And everyone was congratulating us which was really sweet.
But before I tell you more, I’m gonna have to give you my back story.

So back in December, I found out I was pregnant.
Me and my friend were trying at the same time and we’re desperate to have babies together. The day before I found out I was pregnant, she told me she was. She was 2 weeks ahead of me. I was so happy.
Shortly after, we discovered something was wrong. My HCG wasn’t rising and my scans kept showing an empty sac.
After 5 gruelling weeks and numerous scans I had medical management to help end the pregnancy.
3 days later, the other girl in our friendship group (who me and my other friend had no idea was trying) announced she was pregnant. She was 2 days behind my friend. I was heartbroken. Felt like I’d been kicked to the curb.
4 weeks later we discovered I was still (technically pregnant) as the tablets hadn’t worked properly and I had to undergo an excruciatingly painful procedure to remove the pregnancy tissue with no pain relief at all. It ended in a serious PALS complaint with the hospital and sent me into a spiral of depression.
I have bipolar 2 disorder and up to that point had coped incredibly well. But after all of that, i broke.
When I should I have been 20 weeks pregnant and was finally coming through the depression and feeling better, another friend announced she was 20 weeks (has my original due date) and had lied to me about being pregnant because she didn’t want to upset me.
She wasn’t trying for a baby. In fact she doesn’t have a maternal bone in her body and has expressed a few times about how disappointed she is in having a boy because she wanted a girl. I wanted to scream.
But instead I did all the right things, congratulated her, talked baby names and then went home and cried my eyes out. Then spiralled into depression again and went a little ‘bipolar’ on my family. I actually started to believe that the universe had set me up and planned the whole thing to make me go crazy.
But I came out the other end of it, like I always do and fell pregnant with my little bean.

So, fast forward to tonight. I’m going to leave the wedding and went to say goodbye to an uncle. I’ve got 3 and they are all losers to be honest.
He says ‘goodbye chubby mummy’ which I can handle. Meh!!
And then ‘so you can stop bitching about other people being pregnant now then’.
I said ‘what?’
He repeats it and then adds ‘your dad was saying you were bitching about other people being pregnant’.
So I said ‘I went through a long nasty miscarriage’.
He says ‘yeh I know, your dad did say that. I’m just saying, it’s just a joke’.
So I made my excuses and ran.
A JOKE???? Yeh coz what I went though deserves to be joked about.
And did I ever birch or moan to my friends. No!!!!
Through everything I still smiled for them and put on a brave face. Sorry if I went home and screamed and cried.
I can’t believe some people. I cried the whole way home. I feel absolutely betrayed and embarrassed.

@MagicalCreatures I'm so sorry you've gone through this. Going through a loss is a devastating experience and they throw up so many emotions. He had no right to a) trivialise your loss and b) 'joke' about how you were feeling. What an utter prick. I'm glad you've managed to stabilise yourself and please don't let his insensitivity throw you on a downward spiral. Maybe have a word with your Dad if you can and say how much it's upset you and you (and your loss and feelings of grief and desolation) should not be a hot topic of gossip! Concentrate on yourself and your little one and those closest to you and, well quite frankly, FUCK everybody else!! Big hug x

Hey magical! Sorry but he sounds like a complete arse badger!
My mum has bipolar so I can sort of relate
And when we was trying to get pregnant EVERYONE! And I mean everyone around me was getting pregnant (even my aunties dog for Christ sakes) my so called friend done a pregnancy test in my house and walked out the bathroom crying saying
"I don't even like the kid I've got I don't want another one"
Needless to say where not friends anymore lol
Some people are so unbelievably selfish!
I'm so sorry for your loss and your struggle you have done so well to come out of the other side, please don't let this ballbag! Get you down sweetie!
Your worth so much more than that
And yeah! FUCK EVERYONE ELSE!! 🤬😘

@MagicalCreatures That is shit! And he's a shit for saying that. There's no excuse to trivialise pregnancy loss like that. Do you get on well enough with your Dad to ask him why he would say something like that to your uncle? I'm so sorry you went through a horrendous loss like that. I found out I was pregnant on Xmas day and lost my little bean in January, although it was comparatively 'easy' to what you went through. I hope you're ok and can focus on your little rainbow and enjoy your pregnancy.

I love how support everyone is on here!

@magicalcreatures firstly, I want to reach through my phone and just give you the biggest hug 💕 what you’ve been through sounds traumatic and having 3 friends get pregnant while that was happening to you must have been a kick in the teeth. I’m really not surprised you struggled with your mental health 💕

You’re uncle sounds like a complete dick. You bitch away about those friends. It’s part of your healing process and you shouldn’t be made to feel shitty about that 💕

Thanks so much girls. Waking up to your lovely messages really helps.
I’m just in shock I think. I can’t believe someone would make a joke out of that.
Do they think that just coz I’m pregnant now, what happened before is just a distant memory. Coz it really isn’t.
Am I being a spoilt brat throwing my toys out the pram because I was jealous of everyone else and now I’m pregnant all is forgotten and I’m fine and smiling?
No!!! Coz I’m an anxious mess and I still cry even when I have to talk about what happened previously to a new doctor etc.
I don’t know what my dad was thinking. Yes we’re very close and my mum was shocked when I told her what was said. She text me last night saying my uncle had told me dad he thought he upset me and he didn’t mean too. I told her they can go to hell x

@MagicalCreatures people just don't get it. The insensitive things that people say without thinking blows my mind. I'm so sorry you went through that. And I'm sorry your dad spoke about it with twats. My family really struggling with me when I lost as I flipped into destruct mode too. But luckily other than the odd "it wasn't meant to be" and "that baby was probably broken" remark they've been mega supportive.

Hopefully it didn't totally ruin your night. And you have every right to have felt how you did. I'm so sorry you went through such a shit time. No one truly gets it though until they've been through it. So forget about your uncle, he sounds a little ignorant and was probably drunk. (Not that this makes it acceptable) but sending massive hugs. Xx

I agree with everyone!!! EVERYONE!

I’ll say it again..people don’t engage their brains with pregnant women.

Sometimes it’s worth trying to reason it out but other times it’s better to just call them a prick and walk off.

But yeah do tell your dad what a stupid thing it was to talk about this and to shut his flapping gob.

The day I told my parents (in secret), my dad literally walked outside and told a random stranger who was walking past. I am now much more careful what I say to them!

@MagicalCreatures I completely agree with everything everyone else has said just now. I'm devastated for you, want to give you a huge (but careful!) squeeze, bitch alongside you with ice cream and then chat names and baby clothes all at the same time.
I also want to thank you for disclosing your bipolar. I also have bipolar 2 and have been really nervous about telling other mums and mums to be! Been through all the judgement as it is but I think being open is the best way. So from a selfish perspective thank you for doing that, and from a giving perspective you're not alone, and I have your back.
I think it goes without saying that even on a (relatively!) anonymous online forum you are loved 😍

@GoldilocksTheGraceless we have your back too, my lovely. And everyone else's on here x

Thankyou so much all of you.
I’ve not had any hormonal meltdowns until now and you’ve all got me really emotional, but in a good way. The support from you all is incredible.
My dad is really upset, even forgot to take his medication this morning apparently. He didn’t say it like my uncle said it. He merely stated I’d been in a bad way. It’s just my uncles shitty way of putting it.
I’m just letting it go now. I’ve made my point and my uncle knows he’s been a massive dick. That’s good enough for me.
@GoldilocksTheGraceless
Your words are lovely. Thankyou. I’ve always been open about my bipolar. There’s o my a few people in my life that aren’t aware and that’s because I’ve become very familiar with the people I know can and can’t handle that sort of information and will use it against me. Everyone else is very supportive in my life.
I came of my medication to try for a baby and have been doing so well but I’m in a totally different position in my life now to what I was 8 years ago. I don’t suffer with the highs and lows like I used too but (after suffering since I was 11 years old) I’ve become very good at coping. The only thing I suffer with now is insomnia and racing thoughts when situations like this occur. And when people let me down or get away with being nasty, manipulative people. Thats when I flip 😂
How are you coping with pregnancy hormones? Did you come of any medication? X

Hey @magicalcreatures sorry you had such a shit time and your uncle is a massive douchebag. Well done for moving past it and rising above now! And well done for coping without your meds.
I am on citalopram but managed to come down to 10mg before I got pregnant. Still a constant worry that I'm on anything, but I came off totally with my son and was a mess by 12 weeks and had to go back on to 20mg. So I figured this time I'm better off staying on at the low dose of 10mg. Still feel guilty. But I am so much happier and in a good place this time!
It's brilliant if you can manage off them though, that is obviously the ideal scenario.xx

Gagh I love this board so much!

I'm alright, I was diagnosed 10 years ago and find it all so much easier than back then. I halved my meds before getting pregnant but still take 20mg citalopram and 150mg lamotrogine. Met with the perinatal mental health team last week and they said not to worry about the meds so long as my mood is stable, which makes sense.

Same as you, the vast majority of people know, friends and colleagues etc (I work in mental health), so that's good. Hopefully others readying this know it's a safe space too 😍

So I stepped on the scales again this morning and I'm still losing weight. I've now lost 2.5 stone since becoming pregnant. I'm now getting a bit concerned that Jack won't be getting what he needs. I'm trying to eat enough but my appetite mostly is non existent although I'll have the odd day when I'm hungry.. it doesn't last long. Any ideas?

Hey @Gemsie I am having a boy and have also been losing weight. And I am eating a lot and haven’t been sick at all. I am 18+4 today and finally put on a couple of pounds. But the midwife really isn’t fussed.

Gemsie I wish I could help more but as I read that I had just finished a crispy chicken wrap and was half way through s cheeseburger at Macdonalds!!!!! The shame!!!! Thought if nothing else you might enjoy the irony 😬
When do you next meet with midwife/gp?

@goldilocksthegraceless nice to know someone else is on cit in their pregnancy too!

Ohhhhh McDonald's!
My local one has closed for a couple of weeks I'm so jealous! 😜
Anyone else's feet swollen in this heat??
I've had to take my rings off too because my fingers look like sausages 😂
I've also got propper massive ankles too... so so... soooo attractive today 🙀🙀

Just caught up of this, @MagicalCreatures that sounds horrible both what you went through and what your uncle said. You are completely right to feel angry and upset by what happened.
And well done you for being open about you're mental health, I wish more people were so that it was better understood and less of a taboo xx

I sent OH to Macdonalds a couple of days ago because I NEEDED a chocolate milkshake. Apparently the machine was broken. I have since found out that when it's hot and busy, sometimes they pretend the machine's broken because milkshakes are the hardest and most time consuming order to make. Next time, there will be drive thru gridlock until this pregnant lady gets her milkshake!! 😂

Aww I love this thread and how supportive and lovely everyone is ☺️

Has any one found their belly button is getting larger as their bump grows? I’ve just noticed that I’ve got a bit of a hole now where it was all nice and flat before 😳 I know they pop later in pregnancy but mine seems to be disappearing down a black hole at the moment!

Mine looks massive...I had a laparoscopy a couple of years ago so it's pretty scarred up...
my bellybutton now resembles Frankenstein's arsehole 😂🤘

Haha I'm having a very frumpy hot and flustered day today lol

Milkshakes are no harder to make than any other drink at McDonald's. You put the cup under, press the relevant button for size and flavour and there comes your milkshake. However they are RIDICULOUSLY temperamental machines particularly prone to tantrums in hot weather which is most annoying (especially for the staff who have to keep explaining that there's no milkshakes).