December 2018 Babies - Thread #3

[MagicalCreatures]

Welcome oldies and any newbies.
Hope you all found the group ok.
And continue ............

I've been reading and catching up with all the fab posts. So many gender reveals! It's going super fast.

I'm 17 weeks on Wednesday. We are waiting till 20 weeks scan to find out sex as not been able to convince my other half to pay to find out.

When is everyone's 20 week scan? Ours is end of July x

Hi all. I’ve just spent three hours balling my eyes out over a spilling a little bit of tea. I’m 15+6 all annoying symptoms have been and gone and I don’t feel pregnant at all anymore. I’m due Dec 18th im so angry and emotional at everything

Hi @katybob yay for due date buddies! If it helps, I'm still being sick all the time which is resulting in big teary 'I can't do this' crying sessions so you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed!

Where are you based roughly? I really hope you start to feel better soon. Feeling movement should be just around the corner for us - maybe another week?

@Mamababynumber2 ours isn't until 6th August 😲😲 so watching all the reveals is very exciting living vicariously 😁

Welcome @ChromeWaves 😍 congratulations on your pregnancy! How is your partner feeling? We were planning this pregnancy for a long time and it's still a shock! Hope you're able to get a little excited now 😊

Eeeeeeeee John Lewis baby clothes massive sale!

@GoldilocksTheGraceless Poole Dorset

Welcome @chromewaves and congrats! Wow, so many boys so far! Anyone got their name sorted? We knew we would struggle with boys names if it was a boy! We literally had one name right from the beginning with my son so it wasn't an issue. But this time we can barely find any we like! We have a very boring surname but also don't like super unusual names, which narrows it down quite a bit for boys. Trying to find something in the middle! Ideas welcome!x

Thank you @GoldilocksTheGraceless for the John Lewis heads up!! Another one here getting frustrated by the neutral clothes. Gonna check this out now

Heard the heartbeat today for the first time today at my 16 week midwife appointment, absolutely amazing! 💛

@MrsTeaPlease

Harry
Charlie
Zachary
William
Henry
Joshua
Luke

:)

My 20 week scan is 19th July! It’s coming around so quickly! I can’t believe I’m nearly half way there.

My 20 week scan is 1st August!
It's flying over, I have my 16 week midwife appointment on Wednesday only feels like yesterday I was at my booking in appointment lol

My 20 week scan is 2 weeks today, can't wait! I appear to be highly emotional at the moment. Struggling with work politics much more so than I would normally!

Congratulations to all those finding out the sex of their baby! I'm team yellow but will no doubt reconsider when asked at 20 weeks 😅

@lrwe thank you! We've just booked our trip to Dubai next week - not planning on doing much over there so should be ok just hope I survive the heat!

@AGirlinLondon - I'm still not sure if it's flutters I'm feeling at the moment. Definitely no kicks yet!

@MagicalCreatures - not at all. Initially my thyroid levels were really low so they kept upping the dose, uncertainty regarding my iron levels but taking supplements and the risk of preeclampsia. After the 12 week scan the screening results came back as low risk but they flagged up low Papp-A levels. Whilst this is suppose to be low mine is lower than the norm. The midwifes weren't much help with explaining the risks associated with this - some said its associated with increased chances of Downs, Edwards or Pataus, another said it means the baby is more likely to be on the smaller side with risks of premature birth - But all they can do is give extra growth scans.

To put my mind to some peace and ease the anxiety, I had the Harmony Test done a few weeks ago and results for Downs etc came back as low probability.

Trying to enjoy this time but part of me just wants December to arrive quick! 😅

Apologies for the essay! Xx

@Nilam87 have fun in Dubai! It'll be hot obviously but it's equipped for the heat a air con into air con into air con (we lived there too!) I've been told that it actually feels warmer in the UK than it is here at the moment because of the lack of air con.... I'm coming back to escape the heat yikes!

I found out this week that baby will be earlier than I expected - 36 weeks with a chance I can push to 37 weeks, I want this bubba to be born in Dec so everything crossed. All due to previous complications. Nervous now.

I've also started my perinatal mental health sessions related to birth trauma. It's all go!

Well, I’ve been moaning about it for the last week or two but it’s official and it’s small but......
I’m getting a bump! Bloody finally!

I can’t believe the difference between this bump and the last two. Perhaps this one isn’t destined to be a 9-10lb’er like my other two?
Perhaps it’s going to be a regular size 8lb baby. How novel.

@lrwe omg I love Dubai.... but it's gonna be SCORCHING!!! Like 40degrees!!! Hope you have a lovely rest.

@JustVent glad your bump is coming in. Maybe it's a different sex?? Are your other two both girl/both boy or one of each?

My 16 weeks midwife appointment is today. Eek!! And my 20weeks scan is at the end of the month! So excited!!

And my OH and I are going on a romantic anniversary weekend away in a couple of weeks to look at a wedding venue. Maybe all a bit backwards!! Haha!! We're not even engaged but we wanna get married next anniversary (we're waiting for his 9year divorce to go through as we speak) then we'll pop out a baby and somehow get engaged before July next year!! Haha!!

@cakelaur I love this - pregnancy > romantic weekend > wedding. Just the kind of order we are doing things in too

So.. need some perspective please.

My Dad and his partner are completely unsupportive of this pregnancy. When I say unsupportive I mean that my Dad called me and said my body wouldn't cope, it's not fair on my existing children and that I should terminate. His partner held the same views too but was more direct than my Dad and basically said I'm selfish and stupid. I think the issues stem from the fact that I have quite a few health issues, including cardiac and severe asthma and I've been depressed for a while now. Nothing that's likely to stop me carrying to term, hopefully. My depression though not resolved is stable and this baby is VERY much wanted. Myself and my partner tried a few years ago to have a child with herself as carrier but we had multiple losses. My Dads reaction was 'thank God, stupid idea' I'm a woman in my mid 30's, my partner is 41 and we've been in a relationship almost 10 years.

Anyway, I initially ignored his request to terminate (obviously) hoping that he (they) would come round in time. I haven't spoken to my Dad or his partner physically since I told them I was pregnant and they are still refusing to speak to me. They still have access to my children although this is arranged through my daughter that I feel is completely inappropriate. When I found out I was having a boy I reached out to them and sent them both the gender reveal I made with the kids and a 4D picture of Jackson but neither acknowledged the picture of the baby, just commented that the kids looked happy. I'm trying (and failing) to stay positive but I'm getting to the stage now where I feel like I actually don't want anything more to do with them. My partner thinks they will come round when I give birth - but my argument is if they've not even enquired how I am during pregnancy and wanted me to terminate him, why would I want them to be in his life? I'm all a muddle, I've lived with my Dad and his partner since I was 11. My mum was an abusive alcoholic who was in a violent relationship, a lot of which I witnessed and was victim to, and I feel my Dad saved me in some respects.
He still treats me like I'm that little 11 year old though. I've never really asked him for any support financially, although my older brother regularly does. My question although rambling is.. so I just cut my ties and move on? I can't just keep reaching out to be rejected as a little bit of me breaks each time..

Gemsie it’s nothing to do with them. They should keep their opinions to themselves.
I think for your own mental well-being it might be better to give them a wide berth for a while.

Cakelaur I have two boys, I have a feeling this one is a girl (I’m happy to be wrong though, I love little boys ❤️) so it’s crossed my mind, girl babies are generally a little smaller.

Haha! @AGirlinLondon I'm always up for a backwards order!! Much more fun!! Haha

My 20 week scan is in two weeks, still feels like ages away!

I don't think I've felt anything yet, but the midwife said if it's your first baby, it might be more like 25 weeks before you feel something anyway - in case anyone else is worrying about that!

Hey @Gemsie. First off, massive hug.

Second - this is your pregnancy, your baby, and ONLY your midwife and doctor’s account of your health matters.

It will seem impossible to do this right now, but take a step back and consider what else might be driving this behaviour. It sounds to me like this ‘concern’ about your health - which is coming across very cruelly (who says things like this to a pregnant lady when they know about her health conditions?) - is actually about something else entirely. You have no control over what this is, or over this cruel behaviour and at this time it’s important to distance yourself from it.

You are being generous and thoughtful by sharing this experience with them. Know that you have done what you can, and that right now your attention needs to be on yourself.

Hi @Gemsie1984 I've been thinking about you today since reading your post and how to best communicate my sympathy to you and also my appreciation of your courage and love that you've shown already.

From what you've said, you must be a very strong and impressive person to be where you're at now, and I'm delighted that you have a supportive partner, healthy pregnancy, and means to ask for help when you're feeling like this.

Personally, I think your dad and his partner undeniably come too far down on the list of priorities to behave this way and think you'll bend to their side. You have wonderful children, and a precious bean to care for, not to mention your own mental health. This all comes way out in front of their views and I'm sure you'll be supported by the vast majority of people in this way.

I know how hard it is to put space between you and a parent, having had to do this myself for my first trimester following repeated drama. It is hard but it can turn out well in the end.

In the meantime, you are deserving of love and support, and they are big enough and ugly enough to have a think through their own issues!

Sorry if that came out all muddled. Wishing you all the very best and sending big (heatwave-y!) hugs xxx

Thanks so much for the words of wisdom and support. It's been a hard few days. I've tried to block it out for the last 8 weeks but I miss them and I miss that contact but I can't forgive how they've treated me or continue to do so.

I agree it must be something more than my health although I know that my Dad is super worried about this, especially my heart issues. I've seen the consultant already however who have reassured me I'll be monitored closely so I know everything will be okay. There's women in worse health-related predicaments than me and they have healthy babies so there's no reason I can't.

I think I've always craved my Dads approval and love and he's a very difficult man who doesn't show affection easily but will snap easily and say mean things. I know it's just him and not a true reflection on how he feels but as you guys have said, I need support and love at the moment, as much as I adore my partner she's not my Dad!

I think I will have to cut them from my life for the time being and take each week as it comes. The longer this goes on the more angry I get. I'm a forgiving person though so I need to remember the hurt and devastation I'm feeling now. I love this baby with a love so strong and pure it makes my head spin. I don't want people around him that don't want the absolute best for him. As hard as that is to admit, that's the way it has to be. :(

Thanks for listening to my waffle and sorry to depress the tone.. I'll be back to my bouncy self in a few days I'm sure :)

Like you say, each week/day/hour as it comes. Maybe write yourself a little note to get it off your chest but also to serve as a helpful reminder if you need it later. I went round and round in circles with my family in my mind for 13 weeks and it can get to a point where you just want a hug from your dad/mum and like you say, partners just don't always cut it! Stay strong, keep your focus, and remember that you and your little ones are the ones that deserve the support and protection. Good luck! Let us know if you need a hand again xx