June 2018 #4

[ClareB83]

Just restarting the thread as we're close to 1000 posts again.

June 2018 #3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3100612-june-2018-3

@ClareB83 Clare, it’s good to vent, you’ve been through a very tough time and all you want to do is bring your babies home. Seems silly that you would have lots of checks to pass before leaving - I would just try your best to get through staying in the twin room, get DH to take in some comfort foods, take your iPad in for when they sleep so you can watch something for 20 mins to take your mind off things.

In our house - my DH has had knee surgery on Sunday so now he’s recouping at home aka I now have a grown man child and a toddler to run around after . My hips are sore and I’m not sleeping. Only like, 45 more days to go

Thanks. I did finish my meltdown by telling DH I'd of course do it if I had to, I just needed to say that I really really don't want to.

He doesn't want to either, thinks it's pointless and has a hatred of twin beds/no WiFi.

Imagine trying to look after twin newborns in the worst hostel room you've stayed in. No kitchen, no sofa, I don't even think it has a toilet.

Clare that is awful, I’m not surprised you’re unhappy. It’s so frustrating, not the same but I remember having to wait for hours and hours for the Dr to come and discharge ds1 after he was born. I was sobbing by the end as I was so desperate to get out of there after 2 nights.

Could you talk to the staff about your concerns, they can’t penalise you for asking and maybe they could ensure it was just the one night. It seems totally unnecessary and a waste of your time and theirs!

I wouldn't worry too much about parental performance @ClareB83. To my eternal shame I mid mental health breakdown tried to leave ds in NICU because I'd decided he wasn't mine. They ended up discharging him early on the understanding we would bring him back the following day for his last checks (I couldn't have coped with another night or two in hospital). I suspect they have seen pretty much everything already.

There is definitely no harm in asking.

I had custard for breakfast this morning, I’m so ashamed but trying to convince myself it’s an acceptable breakfast for a heavily pregnant woman 😐.

Understandably you may be feeling vulnerable at the moment . Can you find out from a nice member of staff what your actual rights are regarding the two night stay? It sounds like you are being railroaded into something you are really not comfortable with and I wonder if it is merely ‘indvisable’ (in their opinion) to skip the stay, or if it is actually a legal requirement?

Thanks for the support. I had a chat with the nurses when I arrived this morning and they took no persuading at all. They basically put words in my mouth to say I would have better support at home so would be better off having the first night with the twins there.

They also said they can't force us to stay in.

So when doctors came round I felt fine saying I didn't want to stay in and doctor aid that was fine as I'd been on the ward a lot, nurses confirmed I knew what I was doing and so we don't have to stay.

Feel very relieved.

Boys are still on track to come home Thursday but it's subject to jaundice tests and Joes weight, but both are going in the right direction.

Nothing to be ashamed abut @Dinosauratemydaffodils - I think the combination of having given birth and the intensity of these units is destined to cause all sorts of mental fall out.

I keep having to give permission for them to take blood and hurt my tiny babies. It's gut wrenching. I'd rather open up my own veins but that's no use.

That's excellent news Clare, well done for being clear and assertive, not easy when you've been through what you have/are going through it. Will keep everything crossed re jaundice and Joe's weight- makes so much more sense to be in the comfort of your home than a horrible hostel like hospital room. Possibly just two sleeps til you're home with your boys!

@ClareB83 sorry to hear they are making you jump through hoops to get home -
Seems a bit weird to me. There are certain newborn tests that need to be completed before going home but I'm sure they've done those already. At the end of the day surely they can't stop you from taking your babies home - I assume you'll be under midwife care as soon as you are home and they will be checking to make sure you are coping. It could be that they are just ensuring you are ok - having something like pre-eclampsia is a big deal for you and obviously twins will be double the work of a singleton. I would definitely raise it and ask why it is necessary for you to stay over. Surely you will be much more relaxed and find it easier to care for your babies once you are home. Fingers crossed for you xx

@Shutupanddance1 sorry to hear about your DH. Hope he gets better soon. I've had knee surgery myself in the past and it's tough for the first couple of weeks as I found every time I stood up for too long my knee would swell up like crazy so I had to keep it elevated.

@ClareB83 just saw your update (my thread clearly hadn't updated earlier). So please you don't have to stay in. What a relief to be able to go home and to soon be able to take the boys home. If it's just jaundice you could argue they'd be better off at home where they probably can get more natural light which obviously helps with the jaundice. Keeping everything crossed for you x

Great news Clare, fingers crossed for Thursday.

@ClareB83 I'm so pleased you don't have to stay in. They must realise how traumatic it is on the mum. Hopefully you will be able to take the boys home really soon!

@Northernbeachbum I hope your Braxton Hicks have improved!

Yay to not having to stay in!
I think custard is a perfectly reasonable breakfast
northern I am plagued by really painful brax Hicks too so uncomfortable!!

@ClareB83 glad that you don’t have to stay in, fingers crossed that everything goes as planned on Thursday.

I get the feeling it’s going to be another long week. Yesterday my daughter got sent home from school because she had been sick in school, had to pick up all three kids from school early as no one else could just get her (or the boys). She was sick all night 😞
Then today someone had called the RSPCA to say I was neglecting my cats. Thankfully my nan was here when the guy arrived as my daughter was obviously still home (nice enough but still) he saw one of my cats, other one had gone walk about but he saw how well cared for he was and left happy.
How is it only Tuesday?
Hope you are all having a good week and @nothernbeachbum hope your braxton hicks aren’t too bad for you today 😊

@jadeward89 sorry your DD is sick, definitely sounds like it will be a long week! I cannot believe somebody reported you to the RSPCA! I would be fuming!!

I think it’s the sickness bug that is going around, it’s just typical that it’s the week of the standardised tests so she will miss the start of them tomorrow and have to do it another day.
I am angry but I’m also trying to not let it get to me, I think I know who did it and they are trying to get a rise from me and dh but anyone who really knows me knows how loved my cats are (they are just an extension of our family, especially our ginger Tom who puts up with the kids haha)

@jadeward89 I would be angry too, that's such a low blow, I feel the same about my two cats. Well done for rising above it!

@clareb83 that's amazing news, it's probably just standard policy for newborn with additional medical needs and they hadn't even thought it through. It's amazing they could be home with you tomorrow!!! How are you feeling now? Are you starting to feel better physically?

@jadeward89 that's a really rubbish day! I'd be so cross about the RSPCA caller!

Sorry to hear others are suffering Braxton hicks too. Last night was nowhere near as bad but the previous night I did start wondering if I was in labour. How can you tell the difference?

Oh and @Elizabethlemon, custard for breakfast is pure genius!!!

I was feeling much improved and they increased my BP medication which finally brought it down yesterday to a reasonable number.

But then overnight I've had a bit of diarrhoea so now I can't go to see the boys. It might just be a side effect of the increase in my BP medication but I can't risk giving anything nasty to my boys (or the other babies).

So I'm staying at home and hoping DH can finish a bit early to go and see them.

I'm just hoping they don't delay their discharge as a result. Although obviously I'd rather wait a couple of days and protect them. Joe is so little I can't bear the thought of him getting a bug.

I don't know how I'll cope without seeing them for a day or more though.

@jadeward89 well done for being the stronger person re:your cats. How low can people go sometimes?! Sorry to hear about your daughter too. These sicky bugs are horrid - luckily my DS's only lasted 24 hours so fingers crossed it'll be the same for your daughter too.

@ClareB83 sorry to hear you're not 100% today but you are definitely doing the right thing. You wouldn't want your boys to catch anything at this early stage. I'm sure it will be tough not seeing them. Can your DH FaceTime you when he goes to see them - or take a video so you can see them virtually?

Good idea @SparklesandBubbles. Just knowing he's there will help.

How are you now clare?
I am so excited that it is May my baby is due next month whoop!!

Hope you are feeling much better @ClareB83.

@Cookie1831 Mine will be here in 5 weeks tomorrow or sooner if he or she is impatient as ds was. I feel so unprepared.