June 2018 #4

[ClareB83]

Just restarting the thread as we're close to 1000 posts again.

June 2018 #3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3100612-june-2018-3

You know what @Northernbeachbum SIL did one of those too saying she expects MIL "will want a front row seat".

In fact MIL has been totally undemanding and has said they won't come down immediately and has even chatted separately with my mother about the experience of supporting your own daughter in birth. So she seems to totally get why my mum is coming to the birth and she isn't.

I'm more concerned DH will invite his parents down before I'm ready but we'll deal with that if/when it happens. I've already decreed the nephews cannot stay with us after baby is here, they'll need to get a hotel if they come with SIL. (Their visit this weekend was lovely but too chaotic for newborns.)

@Heregoeseverything apart one or two things - the scary signs in the shared loos about the dangers of uterine infection , and the ridiculously high temperature in the ward .. I actually found it quite comforting to be in a shared ward . Don’t remember being unable to sleep but I did hear other women around me having the same problems with breastfeeding and although it was very personal it made me feel less alone. Having said that , anything that makes you less anxious and that matters to you is well worth the money.

@Heregoeseverything - I’ve no idea about the NHS but where I am, everyone gets a private room, there are no wards. Tbh, I felt like this was much better having heard the shenanigans that happen back home - I’d be mortified if people overhead the doctors talking to me about intimate areas of my care.

DH stayed both nights with me, I had a CS so was in 3 days. He loved the opportunity to bond with baby and do skin to skin when I was too poorly/feeling sore/overwhelmed. He did use the loo in my room but only with my permission and took in his own food. It was really nice all of us rooming in. I had no visitors except friends for 1 hour, none of them had kids and weren’t really a great help coming in a big group but hey ho - think I might have scared them off with the deathly pale glow and bf

Good to know my plan to bring in epic sandwiches with very pink beef shouldn't get me into trouble!

@heregoes, I can't beliebe the private rooms are so costly where you are, its about £150 here and I've said to DP if he doesn't mind I would really like to have one. He's allowed to stay too so it would be lovely to know we can chat or sleep or do whatever without impacting anyone else. Unfortuately I don't think we can pre book though so no guarantees. £700 is just an insane amount though, cheeky buggers. I'd still be trying to save hard to pay it though personally

@ClareB83 great that your MIL is being so understanding. I'm not sure mine would be in the same way. Luckily DP understands my want to be back on my feet and on the road to recovery before I see people. Sounds like SIL has forgotten what its like being pregnant maybe or I doubt she'd have been that way......so you'd hope anyway

Thanks so much all, this is really helpful. I didn't realise midwives come around after birth (thought it was just health visitor coming several weeks later), I'm clueless! Do the midwives come soon afterwards and do they care about the mother or just the baby?

@Northernbeachbum I thought £700 was the NHS rate, didn't realise it was £150 in other parts of the country ... £700 could buy a travel system, argh!

I had to stop reading the thread on here about "worst behaviour experienced in a hospital ward" - more than one poster had experienced a new father taking heroin in the loo on the post-natal ward ... it just sounds (potentially) terribly grim...

@Heregoeseverything god that’s awful. The worst thing about staying in hospital for me was the heat, it was bloody boiling and this was at the beginning of March. I was also opposite a woman who literally snored all night (her baby was a freak of nature and slept the whole time!) she then got told off the next day as she disappeared for ages leaving her sleeping baby on the edge of the bed!

When I had my 1st the midwife came the day after we got home and then a couple of times after that. They weigh the baby, make sure feeding is going ok and answer any questions. They do check up on you but not in great detail, I was asked about how I was feeling emotionally but when I asked about something specific the midwife told me to discuss with the gp at my 6 week check. I’m pretty sure they mentioned contraception too which I just raised my eyebrows at...

Here the midwives came every day after discharge from hospital until the health visitor hand over at 10 days. Not sure if that's just because of where we are or because I'd had an emcs. My dressing was taken off at day 5 by a midwife at home. They stayed about 30-45 mins, checked baby was feeding, checked my wound, weighed him, talked a bit about the various baby groups in the area etc, okayed me to take a bath as long as I was careful. I also got them to give me the blood clotting injections as I just can't inject myself that I was meant to take for a week because I'd had a long labour/an emcs.

Thank you so much @ElizabethLemon and @Dinosauratemydaffodils , this is very reassuring and actually sounds great, I had thought I would just be kicked out to fend for myself, scar and breastfeeding and all!

@ElizabethLemon re the contraception advice. My targeted ads these days on Facebook are mostly about babies, but with a sizeable amount on contraception. "Having a baby? How wonderful! Now here's how to stop yourself getting into this mess again!"

I’m going to be asking about contraception advice at my next OB appointment- I’m not sure what is available where I live - I know a LOT of people with unexpected 3rd babies .

I didn’t use anything between my two pregnancies as I was lucky enough to BF and it stopped my periods, here’s hoping it does same again!

@heregoeseverything I’ve moved since last baby so not sure what it will be like here , but the midwives and health visitors were great last time. Also, not sure whether it was the area or because of the c section but someone came every day and kept coming until I was ready for them to leave me for a day. They would also stay for as long as I needed - was suffering from post baby blues a bit and frightened to be on my own all day. Have kind of assumed it would be the same this time round so I’m glad you brought it up and will check with midwife tomorrow !

Hello Ladies, I'm glad and grateful you mention the visits after birth as I was clueless who and how often might come. Would midwife visit so often only if having CS?
We finally got the new place, still moving stuff in, but soon will be living there. I aready register for the hospital and Friday I'll meet local midwife.
Another good new is I had the growth scan today (29w+6) as they thought baby grows too fast.
She is just normal at 3lbs(1366g) , even small but in range...fluid seems ok..
Couldn't get though any picture but of her tiny foot .

We barely had this pregnancy with IVF after I turned 40...so I guess contraception advices will not be necessary...

Here the midwife comes the day after you go home, then on day five and 10 I think. Although if you're up to it they'll try to get you to come to the clinic for the day 10 one (I'm planning on playing the twin card to get them to come to me).

The health visitor then takes over and comes day 14ish.

I've got my ante natal health visitor visit tomorrow morning. Hoping DH has cleaned up a bit as I've been on a rare evening out with friends. (Is it still an evening out if you're heading home before 9?)

@Heregoeseverything where I am midwives come round on day 1, 5, 10 and 15 I think and they will come more often if needed. I was under midwife care for 23 days after as DS had jaundice. They are looking out for both you and baby. Midwife examined me to check everything was ok and helped with DS as he had a tongue tie and breastfeeding was hard to start with. I didn't have a c-section and was lucky enough to not have any tears either.

I can’t remember what happens where I am. I am now living where I was when I had my eldest but I can’t remember what happened yesterday never mind 9years ago. I do remember seeing the midwife after leaving the hospital twice (one was a terrifying woman who shouted at me for moving something in my room!)
Will have to ask my midwife when I see her next week, think I’m going to have to write a list of things to ask her 😆

Haha @Heregoeseverything I also get targeted advertising about contraception. Mainly ‘Natural Cycles’ which makes me feel nervous!

How is everyone getting on in the heat? It’s forecast to be 27 where I am and I’m already a sweaty mess after the school run. I don’t cope well in the heat at the best of times so I don’t think I’m going to handle it very well while lugging this giant baby around. Currently lying in bed with the curtains drawn and fan on but I’m due in work later ☹️.

@ElizabethLemon I live in a hot country, it’s been in the 30s this week. It’s ok but I suppose we have A/C to keep us cool.

Lots of water and light floaty clothes helps! I won’t be saying that when it hits the high 40s in a few weeks

Struggling a bit with the heat and we are in Scotland so hardly hot at all. This baby is still sitting really high and so breathing is hard full stop. Got dh to drop ds at preschool but not looking forward to picking him up as it involves climbing a cliff road up to the next village and I don't have a car.

Just had a cold shower which helped a bit and I have all the windows open for a bit of sea breeze.

I’m like you @Elizabethlemon I don’t do well in heat normally and the walk home after drop the kids off at school is a long, steep up hill journey which is a killer even when not pregnant. Baby is pushing really low at the moment, right into my groin and the pain had me in tears earlier.
Currently having to do a food shop which is actually not too bad as the shops are lovely and cool (pitty I don’t want any of the food that I’m buying)

Wow @Shutupanddance1 anything over 30 and I wouldn’t be able to leave the house. The hottest I’ve ever done is 42 and that nearly killed me!

Yes breathing is getting harder here too @Dinosauratemydaffodils, I was getting really breathless when reading to my ds last night.

@jadeward89 sorry you’re in pain, it’s horrible. We live on a hill and I’m currently having to take breaks every now and again to ensure I get up it. Then I see pregnant women jogging around the park and wonder what is wrong with me 😅.

Pregnant joggers!? Just no!
I watched Wooley and tig this morning - on my own -because the remote was too far away

😂😂😂 watching

Could have decked the childminder today who suggested to my 3 year old that I could get the paddling pool out for him this evening after I got home from work, he then had a melt down as wanted said paddling pool which is filthy from being stored in a big box thing all winter out and filled... cause that is all I need when very pregnant roasting and knackered! Luckily both kids were happy with a. Basin of water and water guns in their pants....

Ooooh that would make me so cross! I've discovered the joys of a water table. I can fill ours with two washing up bowls of water and then just sit by it while DD splashes to her hearts content. Blissful!

I've had my Mum visiting today and we've walked flipping miles!! All I can say is I made the mistake of wearing a dress - seriously bad chubrub on my inner thighs now which I could really do without . Knew I'd put on several kilos this Pregnancy - now I know where a lot of it has gone!!!