June 2018 #4

[ClareB83]

Just restarting the thread as we're close to 1000 posts again.

June 2018 #3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3100612-june-2018-3

My SIL is very nice, but comments so far today include:

1. "The problem with c sections is". Me "you know I have to have one". Her [pauses, then carries on anyway with something untrue].

2. "I hope they provide breastfeeding help." Me "They have a group every morning in hospital, a group every week at twin clinic and one every week at each of the children's centres near us." Her "Well you'll probably find your nipples are too big for them anyway."

She's never seen my nipples btw, it's just based on them coming out at 36 weeks. Really glad I did the TAMBA breastfeeding clinic where they're really positive about breastfeeding multiples even in NICU etc.

@jadeward89 - I was advised to write down their schedule on a notepad and to pack one set of pjs and one set of clean clothes each. That way you’ll only have to grab a toothbrush and their comforter (if they have one). Seems most sensible keeping it to a minimum so you don’t stress. I’d try not to worry - easier said than done tho!

@clareb83 Sometimes people think they are helping with their ‘advice’. I’m sure you will do marvellous with BF - you seem to have a lot of support which one of the main things to being successful with it. My boobs are massive and I remember thinking with my DD1 that I’d squish her with them - no idea where she got big nipples from, one would only assume that would help

The thing is she's massively pro breastfeeding (she's a trained coach and breastfeed until youngest was three), so I don't really get trying to make it seem more difficult.

Also though I think I may have just hit my limit for parenting advice for a bit. I'm usually quite good at listening/pretending to listen but I just feel 'full'.

So glad Amayah is doing so well Mummy, she’s a star.

The constant comments and advise can get a bit much Clare, the nipple comment would have irritated me! I’ve been reading a BF book and it really stresses that breast/nipple shape shouldn’t matter.

A colleague told me I was “enormous” yesterday, to be fair she is correct but I just don’t think I would ever say that to someone!

I’m meant to be doing a big clean and starting on the painting today but I’m so exhausted. I got half way through cleaning the bathroom and had to stop and have a bath. I feel like all my energy has been zapped.

I know what you mean @ElizabethLemon I'm either nesting or napping. Nothing much in between.

I've had a few 'enormous' comments too and I know I am, but I don't think it's really right to say either. I also had another colleague say I looked blooming and lovely though, which was much nicer.

I get told that I look both tired/ill and huge every day that I see a certain colleague. I’ve now essentially stopped responding because I’ve ran out of humour. As much as anything, I don’t think I’m particularly massive, just 7 months pregnant.

Those comments from a bf counsellor are plain odd, I can only assume she’s trying and failing to help.

I’m making absolutely no promises re bfing, I really didn’t enjoy it last time and I’m telling myself I’ll switch the formula without the guilt this time if I want to.

When do you pack a hospital bag?

Mine is packed already, but I'll repack and wash some of the new things (currently still in packets) when I start mat leave.

I'm both gigantic & obviously carrying a baby elephant and tiny & shouldn't I be worried about my placenta failing. Told to me in the space of 5 minutes by two different people at softplay last week.

That plus all the unwanted comments about how I "owe" it to this baby to try for a vbac are making me decidedly grumpy.

@RockinRobinTweets I already have because I nearly wasn't packed with ds. Bought the last thing I needed (mittens) today along with a whole bunch of stuff I didn't need. It's already in a suitcase but my plan is to launder it all again before I need it. It's maybe just hormonally driven but I'm not convinced I'll make a planned section date as I went into labour with ds at 38+4 and neither consultant I've seen to date was particularly re-assuring about my chances either.

I need to stop buying baby clothes though, I have everything ds had plus I've bought another 10 or so things for cuteness factor plus we're in Scotland so about to take delivery of a baby box containing more stuff.

Why the fuck would the baby care about vbac? What ridiculous comments you're getting @Dinosauratemydaffodils!

I’m finding I have to do things in bursts. 20 mins of tidying and then 20 mins lying down and repeat. Not ideal but at least I’m getting some things done.

I’ve got an emergency bag that has nappies/wipes, a couple of sleep suits and nighty and knickers for me. I will add to it nearer the time and I need to do a bag for ds1 incase he has to go to my mums.

@ClareB83 Because a certain group of my acquaintances have probably been reading from the same book as your SiL, c-sections are bad, home births, extended breastfeeding, placenta encapsulation etc are amazing and every woman should be pursuing that regardless of personal circumstances.

Gah, once I've given birth she's going to move straight into a campaign for baby led weaning isn't she?! Even though I have expressed no views either way yet.

Oh yes Dinosaur I’m sure in years to come your dc will be very resentful about the way you birthed them 🙄!

I became obsessed with placenta encapsulation a couple of weeks ago, until I saw that it cost around £200! I can think of a lot of things I’d like to spend £200 on, mushed up dried placenta isn’t one of them.

C section mums - I strongly don’t want a Vbac and although my midwife is of course totally against my decision , I have consultation booked for 34weeks . An 31 at the moment .. someone mentioned they didn’t think they would make their c section date - I had my first at 38 weeks and am told section would be booked for around 38 1/2 . Will they do section if I go into labour ? Or is it a case of having to get to 38 1/2 weeks ? My reasons are non medical - but I am convinced it’s the right choice after emercency CS last time was not good for mental state or body after 3 1/2 hours pushing . Want to skip the labour stage ! Am told baby is v large ( I am just over 5 foot) . I know they say it makes no difference but surely ten pound baby coming out of tiny woman increases change of intervention ?!

watching I was told that if I go into labour to go straight in and they’d slot me in unless I’ve progressed too far.

Yes I'm under the impression that if I go into labour early I'll have an emcs, but c section is medically recommended so can't say it'd definitely be the same for you @Watchingmasterchef.

@Watchingmasterchef - probably depends on how far along you are when you present to hospital.

Not sure about increase in interventions due to size - it depends on your reason for Emcs last time I’d say.

@Watchingmasterchef They should add you to the list for a section but go in sooner rather than later if you think you are in labour. I've been given conflicting advice about how far is "too far" from various different doctors and midwives so at the first twinge, I'm going in.

If you are meant to be having a section for either reason VBAC medically recommended etc I would go in as soon as first twinges as then they have more time to organise your section out you on the end of a list or whatever xx
That sister in law sounds like a nightmare (sorry can’t remmeber who mentioned!) xx

Thanks you everyone ! I have a midwife appointment on Wednesday but she has made it repeatedly quite clear she’s not overly sympathetic to my choice . Agree about sister in law - Surprsing considering she is a b feeding advocate

@clareb83 I'd have struggled to stay quiet at the SIL, ive had enough of people putting opinions forward and saying "oh well so and so will want to see the baby as much as possible as soon as possible".....even though it's not about them. I think pregnancy has turned me into a bit of a grump though maybe

I'm really curious to hear what happens about your c sec @watchingmasterchef as I've not really considered what to do if I go into labour earlier than my ELCS date.

Those of you who've had babies before, what is the situation with taking food for after babies arrived into the hospital? I've checked and ours does very odd food times when I'm sure I won't be hungry so can we bring food in?

We were allowed to take whatever food we wanted . I was in a ward with a woman whose partner and friends / work colleagues (she worked at the hospital, it turned out) would sit around her bed all eating Macdonalds . We were both in there for five days - was a 6 bed ward with a strict no opening windows policy !

The only thing they said about food on the postnatal ward to us was that there weren't any heating up facilities and not to bring anything which had a strong smell. Dh brought me loads of picnic food, a giant baguette stuffed with brie and salami being one of the stand out items because with ds in NICU, I kept missing meal times.

As far as I'm aware when you book a section date, you are meant to make a plan for if you labour before and have it documented in your notes. I'm booking mine on Friday when I see the consultant after my 32 week scan and I was definitely told to think of what I'd want to do so we can discuss it/make a plan.

Oh God, all the unsolicited advice, reading those posts made steam come out of my ears! My tactic so far has been to avoid telling people who don't need to know/won't find out about the C section, and to tell anyone else who I think will have an opinion in a tone that says "I DO NOT SEEK FEEDBACK ON THIS DECISION"... not that there is any way to get through to these people! "You owe it to your baby to go for a VBAC" - WTF? What did you say in response to that @Dinosaur? Grr!!

@Watchingmasterchef My (lovely) senior midwife told me that if I go into labour early I will be listed for a C section as an emergency, and emergencies take precedence over the planned ones for that day (so by the same token my planned one may not go ahead at the "planned" time if someone else goes into labour).

I'm starting to worry a bit about what the ward is going to be like afterwards. I think I've read too much Mumsnet (as ever). My trust allows partners stay over, and there are so many stories on here of women trying to get home asap to avoid men eavesdropping on their very personal information, snoring all night, blocking the loos while women dripping lochia queue outside... Just sounds like a nightmare (and that's not even accounting for ignorant women talking on phones all night/loud and ignorant visitors at neighbouring beds). I have friends in another jurisdiction where it is standard to stay in for 5 days after a C section (ie assuming no problems), they were shocked when I said that in the UK it is more like 24-48 hours...

I'm wondering whether we should shell out the £700 it costs for a private room per night, but that just seems like an enormous expense we could really do without. I wouldn't ordinarily consider throwing money away like that but I'm worried that some people seem to have been traumatised by their experiences immediately after the birth in which case it might be money well spent...

@Heregoeseverything I stayed 3 and half days last time with ds after my emcs (because they weren't willing to discharge me until he was out of NICU in case in my rather dodgy mental state I failed to come back for him). In my case, that was 2 days too long and partners weren't allowed to stay but lots of postnatal women snore too not to mention all the crying babies and midwives wanting to check your blood pressure 5 minutes after you've finally fallen asleep. If you have supportive family/friends who will gate keep and provide food then I think home with the midwives coming around is a better place to recover than hospital assuming no medical issues.