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Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

August 2018 #4

981 replies

bobcat85 · 01/02/2018 09:49

Thought I'd start up a new thread as the old one has run out of space.

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Almostthere15 · 01/03/2018 09:28

If you have Amazon prime lots of the hypno birthing tracks can be downloaded for free on the music app.

I had a really positive (and very quick) first labour. I didn't have fixed ideas about pain relief and just thought I'd see how I felt on the day. As it was it progressed too quickly for anything other than gas and air. I was up and about the next day. I don't often tell people because it sounds boasty but I bet lots of people's are like that. It was a contrast to a frankly horrid GDD and SPD pregnancy!

somersetsinger · 01/03/2018 13:00

I read The Hypnobirthing Book by Katharine Graves. It came with audio but I didn't really bother with that. I think it helped a lot and will be re-reading and using the exercises this time. And it's cheaper than classes!

Gizzymum · 01/03/2018 16:10

I got the same one as @somersetsinger but didn't find it helped at all. Not sure if I didn't practice enough or if it was due to the short labour (less than 2hrs from 1st contraction to birth) which meant I never had time to relax etc. It was more of a 'wake up, rush to hospital, start pushing' thing....

BertieBotts · 02/03/2018 08:11

I'm reading the Mongan Method book - someone gave it to me. I'm just reading whatever is available at the moment! I'm not totally sold on hypnobirthing but I do like the Childbirth Without Fear etc kind of stuff. Another friend is lending me an Ina May Gaskin book which I'm interested in reading.

I've been having huge stress and issues finding a midwife. The system here is so confusing and I hate that any time you need a specialist you are supposed to phone around and find one yourself. In theory this benefits the patient because you can choose but I never know what to choose on, so I normally end up with just looking at google maps and going for the easiest to get to! And then invariably nobody is available or they all have a gigantic waiting list. So apparently waiting until 10 weeks meant I was too late to find a midwife. It doesn't matter hugely - because I can have all of my medical checks done at my doctor's instead and then the birth is handled by in-hospital midwives, which leaves me a bit confused about why I needed one to begin with and why everyone was insistent about it! So I am exhausted from that mental effort.

Anyway. It did cause me to crystallise my feelings/anxieties relating to birth, which was helpful if nothing else but I need to talk to DH about it and I feel quite drained!

BertieBotts · 02/03/2018 08:29

Oh and the shortcut from it was this - forget any hangups about natural birth being "better" or medicated birth being "wrong" - there is no wrong answer, it's about what you feel more comfortable, or less anxious about.

It's kind of a trade off really between muscle type pain, out of control feelings, general overwhelming sensations, and the other kind of management which is more like a small injection, monitoring where you can feel more controlled but also more restricted, and people doing things to you.

For me I feel far more anxious about medical things, injections, being restricted/tied down, people doing things to me than I do about the kind of pain involved in birth. For other people it might be different - most of us would get pain medication if we went to the dentist. (I hate needles so much, sometimes I do dentist things without them!) And if I need a c-section for whatever reason, then nope, they can definitely stick a needle in me before they cut me open and put their hands into my womb, but for normal birth - even the mild medical stuff bothers me more than the thought of the birth itself.

So my approach is to plan for a totally non medical birth because I know that if I go in thinking "I might get an epidural" then my thoughts will be consumed with anxiety about that rather than relaxing and concentrating on my coping mechanisms. I know I tend to cope much better with things happening just as they happen, rather than ruminating and worrying about it in advance, so I'm not too worried about needing emergency intervention - I just need to sort of trick my brain into believing that there's a good chance I can avoid any of that stuff.

If you're the opposite, then it seems like a no brainer to go for pain relief ASAP. And if you're really not sure or both options sound equally okay or equally terrible, then it's probably helpful to look up general relaxation techniques, and see how you go.

BertieBotts · 02/03/2018 10:10

Ooh I've just looked up a podcast I used to like and her latest one is about birth again! :)

soundcloud.com/katy-says

Most of it is about moving in everyday life but she has a fair few about birth which are really interesting and different to most things you hear.

Laurence45 · 02/03/2018 10:12

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peterpanwendy · 02/03/2018 11:36

I've booked my gender scan! Excited! They didn't have much availability though so couldn't get a weekend. Can't wait to find out and hopefully he/she isn't as stubborn as at my 12 week!

BlueMooMoo · 02/03/2018 13:47

@peterpanwendy That's so exciting. When's it planned - this week?

Gem173 · 02/03/2018 14:03

Yay @peterpanwendy when is it?? It’s so exciting! Mine is in 15 days!! So is my bday!! Xx

peterpanwendy · 02/03/2018 14:36

No it's the W/C 19/03 I'm sooo excited.
Getting so blimmin fed up though with OH's family who are so opinionated. I keep getting 'I just don't get why you want to find out' and I'm really sick of it! Why can't people keep their noses out?

peterpanwendy · 02/03/2018 14:36

@Gem173 that's going to be such an exciting day for you!

Frescoed · 02/03/2018 17:04

Gosh Bertie it does sound like a bit of a crazy system out there - are you in Germany? Hope the care is good otherwise. My sister-in-law has been in the US for both her pregnancies (though second birth was in Canada) and it’s been fascinating to hear about the different approaches and attitudes to the UK. Sounds like you’ve really got your head round what’s important to you in birth too, I think it does help to be aware of how you feel about different types of things. Thanks for the podcast link too.

I think we’re not opting for a gender scan, despite how keen my mother-in-law is - I think she’s hoping for a girl!

BertieBotts · 02/03/2018 21:16

Yes, I'm in Germany! I'm sure it has its merits, it's just confusing and I'm lazy! At least my telephone German is getting a lot of practice Grin

StrawberryLemonade · 03/03/2018 16:26

That system does sound confusing BertieBotts! I hope you get it all sorted.
Feel like I’m one of the only people not having a gender scan! I really want to see baby again but going to have to wait until 20 week scan. Although that’s only 2.5 weeks away so not too bad.

BertieBotts · 03/03/2018 19:57

I'm not having a gender scan but we might be able to see next week at my next appointment. 20 week scan won't be until April. I am quite doubtful my Frauenarzt will show us anything useful with the machine she has there!

In exciting news, today we confirmed buggy choices :) We're definitely on board for the Cybex Balios S. We both love it and it does everything we want. I've decided either the Aton or Aton 5 car seat are the best choices - the higher end ones don't offer anything more that I want for the price, but we might get the Aton Q if we find it seriously discounted.

So we'll keep an eye out for deals and offers on that buggy over the next few months, and if it doesn't come up at a good price and we're feeling flush, we'll go for it. If we're feeling more stretched, our backup option is the Joie Chrome. We tried that out today too and it does everything we want and we were impressed for the price, but it isn't quite as good as the Cybex.

The only issue with the Cybex is because it's very new, we're unlikely to find that particular model second hand. I wonder if I should go back and look again at the Mutsy Evo, in case we find that second hand.

Beanmama18 · 03/03/2018 20:37

We're going pram shopping tomorrow. Had a look last week and think we've settled on the silvercross pioneer. Just need to make sure it definitely fits in my car!

peterpanwendy · 03/03/2018 21:04

I'm dreaming of the icandy peach but won't be getting anything till much later on, I wish I could get it now!

BertieBotts · 03/03/2018 22:36

Definitely won't buy yet but wanted to narrow down in case a good deal comes up. Will probably buy I'm July if nothing comes up before then.

dancingunicorns123 · 04/03/2018 18:02

@BertieBotts we decided on a silver cross too! But we are going with the wave!

milney25 · 04/03/2018 18:46

I was looking at pranks yesterday too, our gender scan was in the back of a mothercare! I love some of the silvercross, but we have a very small and old car and I don't think it will fit in the boot! We are now thinking the icandy orange, it folds up so small!

BlueMooMoo · 04/03/2018 19:02

@dancingunicorns123 @Beanmama18 We're going for the silver cross as well. But probably not the changing bag - £95!

Gem173 · 04/03/2018 19:11

We went mother care yesterday, bought the mothercare 4 wheeler Journey and the car seat that came with it as we aren’t made of money and when I saw the woman fold it up it was tiny so would fit in our car! We also bought the lulworth white cot and lulworth white wardrobe as well as the teddy’s toy box bouncer! All being delivered within the next week! Cot being taken else where as oh parents are very keen on not having bad luck with it being in the house before the baby’s born. Was a busy day and hell to get there but so worth it :) ps was gunna get a silver cross pursuit but when I went in to look at it, I just thought it’s way to big and I’d never really use it that much seeing as I live in a small two bedroom flat.

BertieBotts · 04/03/2018 19:14

Wow you're all prepared Gem! :)

TheSleeperandTheSpindle · 04/03/2018 19:32

For anyone considering hypnobirthing I would really recommend Maggie Howell. You can download the mp3 straight to your phone for £10. I will definitely be using it again this time round.

Although hypnobirthing doesn’t take away the pain it certainly made it feel manageable for me. Like others have said too, the pain feels like it has a purpose rather than something like a broken leg. The crowing hurts like a burning sensation but by that point you know you are minutes away from meeting your baby!!

It’s all worth it in the end Grin