Due April 2018 thread #3

[Whymustyoubringinthebirds]

Motioning all

Thought I would start a new thread as we have filled another!

How is everyone feeling?
I’ve got the cold so feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment

19+4 today and have to wait until 21 weeks to see my little bun again! Jealous of all those who have had there scans already

Hope you're feeling better today Trigs, by the sounds of it lots of us have gone through exactly the same thing at pretty much the exact same week lol. And yes, like pinkflamingo I too am still snappy with poor DH 🙈 I take everything as an accusation or a dig at the moment and all I keep doing is apologising that I can't do more around the house. Poor bloke is having to do all the laundry, load/unload the dishwasher, carry all the shopping in from the car 😳 all whilst trying to make sure I don't slip over in the bloody snow.

How bad has everyone got the snow this time round? We were only supposed to get 2cm and after waking up to around 5" worth, we've now had another inch or so in the last hour!

Feeling better today, thankfully. I didn't do anything today (well other than cooking and laundry), which I realised I hadn't done for two weeks and was probably partly why I crashed so hard. I was so busy last weekend and even when its nice stuff, it does wipe you out.

Definitely feeling relieved to know its not just me too. I went to the doctors 10 years ago with depression and because of that my midwife has been super concerned that I'm not going to cope with pregnancy/post natal and I think I panicked that she was right!

From now on, I'll prioritise being nice to myself and taking lots of time to relax Thanks for all your support, guys x

My anger has been aimed at midwife/medical team and not at husband thankfully. However, he is getting embarrassed with how I act as soon as I see a medical professional. So our scan today is not until after 11am and my body woke me up at 1am with the anxiety of what us going to happen, I've been lay in bed procrastinating for so long. Really do need to try more sleeping at night time.

I was referred to a mental health nurse right at the beginning of pregnancy due to anxieties over the pregnancy. Seeing her didn't help me and actually I've felt the more people involved the worse it has made me feel about them all. Midwife keeps suggesting I see the mental health nurse again which worries me about what she is writing in notes etc. I just find I don't trust her.

Fingers crossed the scan and clinic today will go well so they will all leave me alone to have my baby naturally as planned. If I have to go into hospital I do want to be able to go in the pool and use aromatherapy etc but I haven't written a birth plan because I have more things that I don't want than what I do. I might write a list of 'No's' instead of a full plan

Our hospital won't let you use aromatherapy oils and the pool together in case it gets in baby's eyes. They also blend the oils for you to create the desired effect.

I was out at my hobby yesterday and god am I sore today. I race two dogs and one of them is a lot bigger and more exuberant than the other.
Though I was only racing him yesterday because it's a much more physical job to work him I am now so sore that I'm still in bed!

rosegarden good luck with the scan today - let us know how you get on. FWIW my friend was told her baby was going to be 11lbs and she shouldn't have a home birth, she insisted and had an amazing calm home birth experience (with no pain relief!) and her son was actually 9lbs. Second baby if that makes a difference though.

Last Monday at work for me! Just can't be bothered with this week but at least I'm on the home straight! I'm 37+1 so will be 37+5 on my last day.

Last 2 days I've had a really aching back. Feels like the middle of my back.
Any ideas on how to help it?! Even laying on the sofa isn't helping!

Today my inner thighs hurt whenever I move them. So uncomfortable

Hi all, I'm currently 36 weeks, can't wait to meet my baby!! Feeling very up and down at the moment, emotional at the slightest things etc. I guess that's normal. Good luck to all of us, I hope we get to cuddle our babies soon!

Oh ☹️ @pinkflamingo121318 that pain in your thighs is PGP/SPD. I've been suffering with it since week 20 and I can't even roll over in bed now without it being a painful 10 point shuffle with lots of groaning. I think with the loosening of your ligaments and your centre of gravity shifting it can put you off balance and strains your back.

I'm feeling every bit my 37+5 weeks and so glad I took annual leave before my mat leave. Everyone else's must be coming up soon!

Wow I just caught up on the one born every minute where the guy fainted and then puked while his partner was pushing 😯

I have utmost respect for anyone working up until 38/39 weeks... I was mentally done at about 32 I think. Can't believe it's my last day tomorrow!

Sooo... is anyone else planning to/started to do perineal massage? I'm all for having a go but not entirely sure I can reach. Thought it might be a nice mat leave task 😂

@Rose I hope your appointments today went well. I think re: a birth plan, knowing what you definitely don't want is just as important as knowing what you do want really.

@Trigs I have definitely been through a range of emotions the last few weeks - as it's getting closer I'm getting periods of feeling quite overwhelmed. Think it's very normal due to the hormones plus the huge event of an impending baby!

Update on scan and clinic(36 weeks): baby weight is estimated at 8lb. Scanner could not measure head as it is so low down (eek!).

Consultant instantly started talking section so I interrupted with my home birth plan to which he scoffed and said no chance. He said due to it's tummy size I really should not be left alone at home to deliver this baby and he wants a doctor to be present. Due to baby's head already appearing to be getting into position he said he's hopeful we'll be able to go naturally. Due to size he said he would not want me going over 40 weeks. So baby is definately coming out sometime in the next 30 days. He wanted to go ahead with booking induction but it was too much for me to do all in one appointment so instead we've got another appointment with him at 39 weeks to see where we are at. He then suggested that getting stretch and sweep twice a week from now on would help and he sent the student to get the midwife to do one straight away. At this point I was in shock because all of my plans had been turned upside down and I was fighting off the tears. Thank goodness for my amazing husband who stepped in at that point to say no to a stretch and sweep right at that moment. He knew I didn't want it and was my voice in my moment of shock. So we came away with a 39 week appointment and I sat in the car in tears. Need to rethink the whole birth plan because I was so anti hospital but as husband pointed out: it may be a few days of discomfort but the important thing is making sure baby arrives safely.

So I need to stop being so selfish and think more about what is best for baby. Consultant suggested I have at least one stretch and sweep this week but I'm really not sure. I finish work on Friday and can't bare the thought of having one before work. I generally hate the whole idea of it but then if it is likely to prevent induction I'll have to go for it because to me that sounds worse. I really need some time to read more into all of these procedures because previous plan was 'no interventions AT ALL' and now it is highly likely I will have some kind of assisted delivery 😣

Anyway, since all of this I have spent all evening/night with lower abdo pain and back ache. When I came to bed it was particularly bad and I've hardly slept so far. I'm wondering if all the stress from the appointment has set my body off and I'm heading toward early labour. It could just be wishful thinking with my brain trying anything to stop me having these procedures! I have a 3 hour meeting at 9am so hoping the discomfort has settled before that starts or I'll be squirming in my seat! The dog was particularly interested in staring at me all evening (more than usual) which freaked me out a bit too.

Anyway, I'll stop going on about me now. I hope you are all ok and those of you finishing work this week are enjoying switching off 😊 good luck to everyone having procedures this week too

@rosegarden45 - sorry to hear that you are going to have to change your plans. I guess the only thing I'd say is that I've rarely known anyone's birth to go to plan anyway and better to be in hospital than risk being rushed in if a home birth didn't go to plan. Honestly you won't care once the baby is here and hopefully you can be discharged very quickly. I was out about 30hrs after a section. With a normal delivery you could be out much sooner!

@olicat - one of the bonus of an elcs is no need for perineal massage 👍🏻

38weeks today. Work tomorrow and Thursday then I'm done!

Pinkflamingo - I really struggled with back pain/sciatic pain during the second trimester so I went to a group physio appointment. The main exercise they recommended was either on all fours, or with your back against the wall, roll your pelvis forward and back so you round your back and then back to neutral spine.

Maybe it'll help...

Aw rose sorry to hear you’ve had a bit of a shock following your scan and appointment. I had a natural labour but then assisted delivery with DS and was still home the following day, so even though it’s not what you want hopefully they’ll work with you to meet in the middle at least, and you don’t have to agree to anything your not happy with. You could suggest 1 stretch and sweep a week rather than 2 that sort of thing? I hope you get some time to get your head around it all. We’re all here to listen.

I hope your last few days go quickly boat exciting times!

olicat my friend bought some cream (off internet not sure of name) and did perennial massage and had a very quick pool birth with no stitches at all! So I do believe it can work as it was her first baby!

pinkflamingo sorry to hear your suffering, I’ve found keeping moving the best thing for my SPD this time round, last time I had weeks off before baby arrived and had an awful bad back up until 12 months after and I genuinely think it was from too much chilling/lying on sofa etc. This time I’ve ran round after DS and despite awful SPD I’ve had no back problems this time at all!

My induction is it 2 days 😱😱 original due date was 5th April due to cholestatis they don’t like letting you go past 38 weeks! I’ve organised house Moses basket /car seat etc but I don’t think I’m physically or emotionally prepared yet!
I started losing my plug on Friday which continued till Sunday thought my body was getting prepared and hoping things could start naturally before Thursday but no such luck! 👎🏻

Wow! Good luck @Sunshinesaz86 - first baby of the group will be here soon!

www.babymoov.co.uk/baby-cushion/48-cosydream-3661276143050.html

Has anyone tried one of these? I'm wondering if it's worth getting one or if it's just another way to get money out of expectant parents? I really want baby to be comfy when sleeping so am willing to give it a go if people think it's worth it

@rosegarden45 I think that's one of the positioners that's supposed to be banned? I did look at those as a cheaper alternative to a baby nest but then my sister got me the Sleepyhead at Christmas and the whole van came in so I stopped looking at it.

Have you looked for reviews on it? I've had a quick google but can't find much after September/October time which is when the ban came into effect

*ban not van.

Fat finger syndrome today - d'oh!

PurFlo Sleep System Breathable Baby Sleep Nest Mushroom https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00U4G6N8I/ref=cmswwrcppapi_jEuSAbRHWTCFX
This is a good sleep nest that isn't ridiculous money unlike the Sleepyhead xx

Thanks @mrsD I didn't realise these were banned. It has loads of 5 star reviews on Amazon. To be honest our moses basket is probably also banned as it is a family heirloom so we need to do what we can to make it safe. I'll look into all the sleep aid options to find what is safest for baby.

I'd honestly save your money at this stage. DD never had any issues sleeping in her crib. Given that most places do one day delivery I'd hold off and if sleep becomes an issue then start trying sleep aids.

@olicat I’ve sort of given it a try but I couldn’t reach 🙈 but if it saves needing stitches I might try again

@rosegarden so sorry to hear about your plans having to change, fingers crossed you go into natural labour before you need any intervention. I’ll most likely find out Friday if I’m in a similar situation. Sounds like you did the right thing not letting them push you into anything and at least now you can read up a bit on your options?

@sunshimesez86 hope everything goes well! So exciting 🙂

Does anyone have any nice plans for mat leave? So far I’m thinking i’ll do some cooking (and freezing), reading lots, napping lots, might treat myself and get a pregnancy massage, might do a midweek yoga class (at the mo I just do Saturdays). Does anyone else have any nice ideas? x

My first plan for mat leave is to get my nails done. I can't wear nail varnish in my job so I'm really looking forward to my appointment on Saturday morning where I've booked myself in for a luxury manicure and pedicure. When I booked it in she said she can do some reflexology for me too so it's going to be super relaxing. Other than that I have no plans for mat leave. Hopefully I'll catch up on some sleep before baby comes along. I'm going to continue swimming once a week until baby arrives. I've been going to a warm pool for pregnancy swimming for the past 7 weeks and it's lovely and relaxing and takes the weight off the bump which is really nice. If I feel up to it I might do some baking and maybe go to some bump groups. But I'll probably switch off from work on Friday and end up having baby early! We'll see what happens!

Sorry tmi but I'm currently 36.5 weeks pregnant and have horrendous painful piles to the point I was pretty much bed bound a few days ago (usually am a tough cookie!) does anyone have this issue? Have meds but they only help with pain rather than treating them. Now worried about labour as they are only going to get worse

@mmai ouch you poor thing. Have you tried putting ice on them? If you put a load of ice in a glove (medical type glove) and hold it on the area/sit on the glove this might help. Definately worth discussing with the GP to see what else they can give you to help.

Ah guys I'm really struggling to communicate with my midwife. I find her to be really judgemental and not helpful. I don't know why but as soon as I have to speak to her I find myself on edge and really defensive. She said to me on the phone today that she's worried about my mental health. There is nothing wrong with my mental health! She keeps asking me to see the mental health nurse but I've explained there is no need. I'm just very laid back and don't want all of these extra medical professionals involved. She doesn't like it that I want to be left alone to have my baby naturally. I said to her that following the consultant appointment on Monday i know that he wants me to go into hospital to have baby so will have to work on a plan of action but haven't thought it through yet.

After I got off the phone my husband said he was concerned that I'm not cooperating with the midwife and he's worried she'll refer me to social services or something. I am cooperating, I've agreed to see her next week for a clinic appointment at 37 weeks. Not sure what she needs to see me for but I've made an appointment as requested. Maybe I'm just awkward but I just don't see the point of all the appointments and all the involvement from others when all it leads to is them criticising me and telling me my baby is fat and telling me I can't have a homebirth! Rant over!

Ah @Rose it's not nice when you don't feel listened to. Have you had a look on the AIMS website? They have loads of info and all super evidence based so it might help you get your point across to the midwife. Their aim is letting women know their rights and not having interventions just because, so you might find it useful?

@sunshine is it your induction tomorrow? Good luck if so! 😊

I had a routine 35 week scan today and got to see baby in 3D which was cool! All looked good but the only thing worrying me was that the placenta was grannum grade 3. The sonographer didn't seem concerned but I stupidly googled and apparently it shouldn't be at that stage until at least 37 weeks. I don't know if anyone else knows how their placenta was doing from any of their recent scans?!

@rosegarden45 I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time of it ☹️ do you think maybe you get so on edge around her because she is picking up on your anxiety re intervention and asking you more intrusive questions to make sure you are coping ok? It's their job to spot the warning signs for anxiety and depression in new/soon to be mothers so as judgemental as you think she's being, she may just be concerned hence why she keeps bringing up the mental health nurse. The only reason I say this is because you said your DH thinks you aren't being as cooperative as you could be. If she was generally quite a bitchy midwife then your DH would be agreeing with you.
Have you thought about the reasons why medical interference causes you such anxiety?
I really really do feel for you and please don't take any of what I've said as judgy (it can always be taken the wrong way when in text). Anxiety sucks so much and really messes with your head. We're all here to lend a supportive ear for a good rant. Get it off your chest, it's very cathartic! 🙂🙂

I had my final scan and Anaesthetist appointment today ready for the csection next week. It's all getting scarily real but having had 4 weeks now to adjust to the fact that I'm having a section, I feel like if all signs are pointing towards a certain outcome then why fight it as it only leads to a more traumatic experience. @boatrace30 do you have your prep appts this week?