Thread no.2 for babies due April 2018

[boatrace30]

Hi all, I thought I'd start another thread. Hope you find it!

@harrietm87 I'm outside of london, near Reading, and my friend started looking a month before baby was due and she struggled to find spaces for the following year. Worried me too so think I might start looking after Christmas. Seems crazy to look so early and I don't even know where to start, but worth doing I suppose

I've woken up this morning and a faint Linea Nigra has suddenly appeared! (I had to google its real name) don't know why but I was quite excited 😂 !

I'm going to start pregnancy yoga in a few weeks where we are now (Surrey/London boarder) but as we're hopefully moving in the next few months we'll do NCT in our new place (Buckinghamshire) to hopefully make some friends as I won't know anyone at all nearby and also because it's our first baby.

I only plan to have 3 months off

Not because that's what I want, but I don't get statutory mat pay because of my circumstances and I have higher earning potential than DP. He will consider sharing mat/pat leave because his company are very generous but the reality is that we could be needing a nursery from August 2018 - probably not full time as we have parents around to offer little bits of help here and there but probably 2 or 3 days a week.

I feel terrible even contemplating it, but we thought it would take longer than it did to conceive and as such we just aren't quite prepared!

We aren't quite prepared either for the same reason! Our house is a complete tip as we are in the middle of fixing it, renovating and decorating. You having family locally will be great. So nice for baby to have those close relationships. I wish we lived closer to our families.

I suppose there's never a perfect time though and I feel so lucky we didn't struggle with conceiving like some friends and family as I'm already mid 30s.

I think you do need to look early for nurseries. We found ours when DD was 3months but she was starting till 15months. This baby will start at 9 and we've put name down already (easy though as obviously we want the same one as DD).
I think you'll always find somewhere but not necessarily first choice.

Also NCT - do that early too as classes get filled up.

@boatrace30 you're right about NCT! Just looked and in my area the mid march to mid April slots were gone already! My due date is somewhere between 8th and 12th April but I've signed up for the mid April- mid May assuming that baby will be late because I'd rather go in my area than elsewhere. Can't believe it!

What is NCT?

I think definitely start looking for a nursery as soon as - there is a bit of a baby boom going on and sooo many are due in 2018 already it's going to be mental.

I'm very fortunate in the fact that I have two older sisters who don't work and my mother has already offered to be childcare when I go back to work as she is only 1.5 miles from my office! I'm one of the very rare lucky ones and I really do empathise for all of you who have to return to work so soon and find alternative child care - it only adds to your stress!

FairfaxAikman theoretically NCT is an expensive antenatal course to prepare you for labour and being a new parent. In reality it is a way to meet other parents nearby going through the same thing. Having done it with one child and not the other, there really is a massive difference. For one of my children I just met and made friends in baby groups which was lovely but their babies were different ages and it was just us mums that met up. Over time we would meet up outside of the baby groups but it takes a while. With NCT you are immediately in a group of eight of so other parents who live nearby. The mums and dads (or birthing partners) do the course and so they all become friends. We do joint birthday parties and outings which are great. Most of all though is the fact that from before labour you have a supportive group (through WhatsApp or Facebook etc) of local people you have met and know to chat to at all hours. My group would help out immediately after labour (once you were ready for it) by rallying round with food or helps of childcare if needed. If you don't want to leave the house to go to any groups, then you can just have them round or stick to each other's houses etc. Basically there is a good reason why people pay the hundreds of pounds to do it and the majority will say it was well worth it.

Wow @harrietm87 , that's crazy! I'm
Sure you'll be fine doing the later course. I did June/July babies for mine and DD was born on 2nd June and the course was when I was 35/36 weeks.

The problem I’ve found with NCT is when you haven’t done it, it’s hard to break into the groups of people who did.

ScarletSienna I think that is because some NCT groups are just unnecessarily cliquey and unfriendly but they do also have several months of daily contact via messaging and meet ups etc, so it is a little like starting a new school half way through the year when everyone there has already been in their established friendship groups for a while.

I think that’s exactly the right analogy!

Scan today, finally! Can't work out if I'm more excited or terrified!

Good luck bond x

Good luck Bond.

Thanks ladies, all good with scan, measured at 13+6 which is only one day out from what I originally thought. Scan I had at 8 weeks put me a bit earlier, so nice to know I was right in the first place! Will allow myself to join the fb group now without feeling I'm going to jinx it!

Hi guys also had my scan today. Am 12+1 and feeling incredibly blessed after a miscarriage in July. I've been dipping in and out of this group, too scared to get too involved. Congrats to everyone else! How do I get on the fb group?

Congratulations @WhyTheHeckMe, it's such a relief isn't it?! Although no doubt I'll find something new to worry about soon!

I agree with the above analogies for NCT groups. We did it when pg with DD and in the early days and weeks those 7 other mums were a lifeline to me. All with similar aged babies and all up in the night and stressing about the same things as me. We spent a lot of time in each other's houses drinking tea and feeding newborns. Bliss! Because we'd gotten to know one another over a couple of months before babies arrived it felt ok to go to each other's houses. But don't think I would have felt the same with a mum from a baby group iyswim. Over time we drifted off for one reason or another but stayed good friends for a good 18mths-2yrs. I am still very close to one of them now 3.5yrs on, and our DDs say they are best friends so it was worth it to meet them.

bond and whytheheck congrats on your scans! I have mine on 20th Oct so must be the very last one here! So impatient now. Having some close friends over for dinner at the weekend and think I'll have to reveal as they'll spot my bump and spot the lack of vino anyway!

Re nurseries I guess it depends on your area. We started looking when DD was 4mths old for her to start at 11mths and found most were ok. But I do know London is a totally different story. Not sure how long I'll take off this time as 11mths was a little too long with hindsight and made settling at nursery tough. Definitely want to take at least 9mths though!

Congrats on the scans!
I've been given something to worry about today. DD has slapped cheek so I have to have blood tests to make sure I have immunity as it can be very dodgy if not. My mum thinks I've had it though so fingers crossed!

Aaa it’s scan day and I am buzzing yet terrified!!

I've been AWOL for the last few weeks as trying to forget about being pregnant for a bit/make time go quickly (impossible!). But now my 12 week scan is TOMORROW. So excited/terrified. Congrats to everyone else who has had a lovely scan and good luck to those who are yet to have it! birds Hope it goes well!

Oli you too for tomorrow!