March 2018 (Part 2)

[SheSaidHeSaid]

New thread as the old one is maxed out.

Link to old thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2958194-march-2018?

I've chosen to be open about my pregnancy, and to be honest I don't regret that at all even though we might miscarry.

Totally personal choice but for me, I feel like waiting until 12 weeks is more about making sure other people don't feel awkward if things don't work out. I feel like it contributes to the idea that miscarriages should not be spoken about and women should just get on with it. It's helped me too, as I'll be able to speak to work tomorrow and let them know I'll be working from home for the week given the situation.

Horses for courses and all that but even if the scan does show the pregnancy isn't viable next week I don't think I'll be put off being open about the next one...

I'm 98% sure I've just passed the baby.

Not sure whether I should wake my husband up. Seems callous to just flush it away.

@LaSurprise I'm so sorry. Definitely wake your husband if that's what you feel you need to do. There isn't a right or wrong, just a right for you.

I hope my husband. He didn't want to see it (can't blame him) but was glad I gave him the choice.

Just need to take care of each other now. Our poor cat is going to get a lot of cuddles over the next wee while!

Roll on 11am Tuesday where I can have it all confirmed and hopefully start to get my head around this all. We only had a week of knowing but a week is long enough to plan a future isn't it?

Sorry woke my husband

Oh, LaSurprise. I'm so sorry. Take good care of each other as you come to terms with your loss. You're right - a week is long enough to imagine and plan so much. Thinking of you.

I was really confused why the other thread had gone quiet. Haha. Need to catch up!!

So sorry to hear that @LaSurprise - make sure you both take time to come to terms and support each other xxxx

I'm so sorry @LaSurprise - you only need a few moments to imagine and plan - look after yourselves and take the time you need.
@Stumblymonkeyagain - I think that's an incredible attitude to have. Miscarriage and loss always seem to be spoken about in hushed words and there's this 'rule' that youbshouldnt talk about pregnancy until 12 weeks which is silly. I hope everything works out for you.

I've got my first midwife appointment on wednesday. We have gone back and forth about having a private scan but haven't booked one yet. Think I will wait until I have my 12 week one booked in and if that feels too far away I might still book a private one.
The whole needing to pee constantly has ramped up a notch this week. Can't go the night without getting up anymore

Seems a bit callous posting this after hearing LaSuprise news but I've been really struggling with constipation. Has anyone else suffered? It's giving me really bad tummy pain too ☹️

I'm so sorry @LaSurprise, a week feels like a very long time when you're pregnant. Take good care of each other.

I think that's a great attitude to have @stumblymonkeyagain

It's something my DH, DM and DMIL spoke about in sat after we told them we were pregnant. When I was diagnosed with my mental health issues I was adamant I would be open and honest about it to try and break down some of the stigma and barriers there are about it.

The DH said miscarriage should be a similar thing. It shouldn't be something women hide from others - it's almost like we hide it to prevent others feeling awkward etc. I think therefore we are going to tell people earlier than 12 weeks - not sure how or when though 😲

Everyone is different though and I totally respect everyone's decisions xxx

@mrsw0812 yeah I've had awful constipation .... I think partly down to o my wanting to eat stodgy carbs so I've been nibbling on prunes and having all bran for breakfast......im hoping it settles because I'm normally a regular as clockwork kinda girl.
Absolutely agree on the stigma and barriers and that it's everyone's individual choice. Last time.we didn't tell people until I was 16 weeks (this was partly because it was unplanned and we had a bumpy few months with our relationship - which is now stronger than ever) but we've already told quite a few people this time.

Lots of love to everyone today - glad I found you again!

I'm so sorry LaSurprise

I threw up again... x)

I'm so sorry @LaSurprise, this sounds a bit weird but I imagined that my little one was off swimming happily in the sea with dolphins after he/she had passed into the toilet.

@Excited1103, hope you're feeling ok now. When I was on holiday a couple of weeks ago, every time I ate a big meal and then walked anywhere I got a bad stitch (so much so I had to stop walking and sit down). I decided it was because all my blood was being taken up looking after baby and digesting my food. Maybe it was a similar thing with your lips?

Really sorry to hear that LaSurprise

I'm so sorry lasurprise. Hope you and your dh are able to get through the next few days and weeks together. Let yourself grieve for your precious little one. 💐

Oh lasurprise.. I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm not sure what I would do in your situation regarding the toilet. I'm thinking of you.
When I had my chemical I passed an awful lot more than I usually would, and felt the same. It feels so hard. You do what you need to.
Hope you and your husband have some quiet time to support each other through this difficult time.
Xx

I'm sorry lasurprise
🌹

Thanks @NorthernBelly. I'm fine this morning as well, it just startled me being so cold and the blue lips. I'll just leave it unless it happens again, they took blood on Thursday so results for that will be through next week. If it isn't iron and happens again then I should be able to tell if it's the exercise, food or something else.

So sorry @lasuprise thinking of you

I'm so sorry @LaSurprise

So sorry LaSurprise. Take good care of yourself. It's horrible to go through.

Thinking of you LaSurprise...take time to grieve with plenty of cat cuddles. Unless you've been pregnant I don't think people realise how much you, as a woman, bond with the baby even in the first few days of knowing.

Take some time out and make sure you properly take care of yourself this week...now is the time for duvet days

@LaSurprise I'm so sad and sorry to read your update. It's such a traumatically experience bad there's nothing anyone can really say to help. I was so hoping for a positive outcome for you.

All you can do is take the time you need - I hope you and DH can support each other through this. You'll be in my thoughts xx

Also on the practical side, I found baths helped but make sure not to use any product as it can cause infection. Take care xx