May 2017 #15 No sleep, night feeds and the newest arrivals

[Tickyboovicki]

Fingers crossed this works, no idea how to make a thread but giving it my best shot. Let the May babies continue!

Thanks so much @teainbed, @Rabbitykins55,@Autumnsweater @Badgerbird @Barnes79 @EsmesBees @dreamofhungarianlanterns @Sonnet18 @1004rise for the support and kind comments. It really does make a world of difference (hope I haven't missed anyone)

I went for the walk in the end, which was great as it gave me and DP a chance to talk about what I needed from him
We had a dreadful night after though! Mini mighty refused to settle all night and by 1pm yesterday I was certifiable. DP swooped into action, took him out for 2 hours and let me sleep. I managed to get another 3 hours before midnight which made me feel so much more human. Have been up with him since 4am today though...cluster feeding...once or twice an hour. I feel like my boobs have nothing left to give....sounds like I'm not alone in this feeling! Guessing the heat is making our babies feed like crazy.

@teainbed I'm fantasising about a hotel on my own. Anything. A night in a travelodge would feel like heaven right now!

Thank you for the link too- it has made me feel less stressed about the lack of sleep in a way..I need to go with the flow more and not get worked up but it is obviously very hard during the cluster feed periods where even 30 minutes of relaxing is unlikely...

@1004Rise you're right- i need to get into the flow when he's feeding, and watch a bit of tv or radio 4 (I love radio 4!). I haven't been doing that, and need to remember I can treat myself too...

@EsmesBees
thank you and congratulations!! So glad you had a positive birth.
I saw the midwives this morning and they have recommend I pursue counselling via my GP. I guess all the stress pre-birth might have taken its toll, and things aren't clear cut for me in terms of Mat leave- I'm under pressure financially to start working again in a week or two (albeit from home), which just seems impossible on these levels of sleep.

@Sipperskipper thinking of you- really glad you're getting help. This is the hardest time but you're definitely not alone so keep posting on here- we're here for you too.

@barnes79 sorry to hear you're feeling low. Frustration has been creeping in here also for similar reasons. The cluster feeding is so intense and i find it hard not to feel a bit jealous of the relative freedom DP has during those times. I guess we just have to take comfort that we're chubbing our babies out nicely even if boobs feel like empty sacs half the time!
I think on the OH front, could you try just going to bed for nap and leaving him with baby (feed permitting?) He'll have to figure it out himself that way-good for his confidence too maybe. A friend of ours used to have a system whereby the dad would sleep in a different room to mum with the baby, and bring him in when he needed a feed. She would then return him after, and go back to sleep peacefully on her own We've yet to try this but I quite like the idea...

Congrats @MrsJW15 and glad to hear baby is with you. Definitely keep on with the lactulose- I'm still using a little daily. everything will be tender down there for a few days so keep up the painkillers with zero guilt-I've just started to ease back on mine (none today for the first time) and I'm 18 days in.

So much more I want to write but posting this now, and will catch up on the night shift

No idea why so much of that is bold!

@ClaireSunflower hope you're feeling ok- sending good vibes. DP's mum has been repeatedly asking why I want to bf and how I'm just making life difficult for myself. Yep, thanks for that...

@Rabbitykins55 You're not alone! My LO just will not settle today in his cot. He falls asleep on me or my DH (mainly me) and then as soon as we put him down he starts to fuss until he builds up into a full on cry and we have to pick him up. We've tried picking him up when he starts fussing, when he breaks into a full on cry, we've tried stroking his hair/cheek/chest when he's in the cot - nothing works today! At night he's typically worse too (it's not unusual for him to take an hour to settle enough for his cot) so I'm dreading tonight.

For those with stitch pain - a weird tip I was given in the hospital was to moisten teabags and to put those on your maternity pads as apparently they have pain relief and antiseptic properties. I was having lots of pain before so tried it and I do feel better! Just one tip - we only have pyramid bags and they didn't stay in place very well so I suggest old fashioned square ones...

@Sonnet18 that's what I was afraid of. I just feel so helpless that I can't make him feel safe unless he's on me. I know one day I'll miss him wanting to be close but right now I could do with some sleep.

@Barnes79 sorry that you are also struggling with it. Hopefully they'll sort themselves out soon and realise it's nicer to sleep in their own cots.

Sipper so sorry to hear you've been having such a shit time. Really good that you reached out for help and here's hoping your meds kick in quickly.

Everything crossed for you bean.!!

claire no wonder you're feeling down, you've been through a lot, are not alone and in no way are you inadequate as a mother.

barnes you have been through the biggest physical and emotional change a woman can go through.... it's a lot to process along with the change in dynamic at home. I hope a chat with DH explaining what help you need helps *

Great news* mrsjw . Not long till you're at home :)

I'm sat bouncing on my ball after a long walk today whilst eyeing up a bottle of clary sage oil..... anyone used it?

badger yes I used Clary sage last time. Weird smell. Didn't do anything for me, but worth a try. It's meant to to be very potent so I think I mixed it with other oils and put them on one of those little oil burners.

Rabbity I understand, he sounds like my eldest. She would not be put down for a second. I would marvel at people's pictures of their newborns asleep in baskets etc. Having now had a second who is much more chilled (albeit we are only 3 days in) I think some of it is just luck of the draw. My advice would be to get a good sling that both you and your partner are happy to use. Dd1 would nap on DH in the evening in the sling while I got a few hours sleep, and he got his hands free.

Mighty you are definitely not alone. And the mat leave situation sounds very stressful. There is a lot to be said for asking for help, and counselling is a good idea. I have my first bereavement counseling session mid June and feel quite proud of myself for recognising things were not quite right and asking for support (very unlike me!).

How was your night last night rabbitykins? Ours was actually really good- dh stayed up until midnight and I went to bed at 9pm, baby woke at 3.30 for quick feed then straight back down. It's amazing how one better night can make you feel so much more positive about things. Hope yours went just as well. Just remember, nothing lasts forever. I remember feeling how you felt with my first and it passed really quickly. Just don't be too hard on yourself, nap in the day if you can and get dh to help.

Hugs to everyone else with a limpet baby. Mine won't sleep anywhere but on me or in the sling, but i remember from last time this is normal which helps!
Sleeping not fantastic here even with co sleeping as she's getting wind after feeds, which her brother never had, so i need to do a bit more work to get her settled before she dozes off. Still easier than i know some have to deal with so hats off to you all. Hubby is sleeping in the spare room and took her for two hours this morning in the sling so i could nap.

I have to hold BabyTea upright for a bit after a feed. He's not distressed with it but clearly has a bit of possetting and can sound a bit gurgly if I put him down too quickly. I've ordered a wedge for his cot but am using a pillow just now to raise the mattress a little. It's good to have anyway for when the dreaded winter coughs and colds start.

I need some alternative entertainment in the night, so bored of MN, Facebook, BBC etc what are you all doing if anything??

I'm netflixing, unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt atm

@newbieho so is mine... just not enough for the acre of over the bump material that's attached (makes me realise how big my bump was) I'm no where near the right shape (all boob and not much else 😖)

@MrsJW15 great that baby is with you now, hopefully you won't be in too much longer 🤞

We had an "interesting" night both baby rise and I ended up in 3 different outfits 😳 It's significantly cooler today so I'm hoping today is a bit more controllable. (Ha who am I kidding!!)

Going to try baby Rise in a sling today around the house, see if I can get more done with two hands.....

Thanks for the support everyone. It is really helpful having people to vent to.

I had to go back to the hospital yesterday as I (sorry tmi) had a huge clot of blood in the pad I was wearing and it freaked me out a bit. Going back to the hospital was so horrible and brought back the whole birth experience and I had a panic attack going in. I spoke to the midwife about it when she came round this morning and she thinks I have post traumatic stress following the birth so I should be able to get some counselling to help process it.

I'm good news Finley is fine and has lost hardly any of his birthweight which makes me feel a lot better as I was quite down on having to formula feed him but good to know he is getting all he needs.

Been for a s&s this morning, I am 3-4cm dilated and 1cm thick with bulging membranes. Eeeek I think spud is finally getting ready to make an appearance 💙🥔

40+4 today.

Oh how exciting bean! Fingers crossed

Tea I'm watching Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix too. I watched 4 series of the good wife while feeding dd1.

Day 3 here and feeling a wee bit wobbly. Had a good morning, managed to get both girls fed and dressed on my own, and tidy up a bit. And then the midwife came and weighed the baby and it seems she's almost lost 10% of her birth weight, which I'm not surprised about as I knew she wasn't feeding frequently enough. And then my PiL turned up and bought with them another carful of second hand toys for DD, which they had already offered by text and I had said we didn't have space for. But the main thing is that today would have been my mum's 70th and I really wish she was here. I'm tired and emotional but need to hold it together for DD. Both girls asleep now so going to try and nap.

Good work baby Finley on maintaining your weight 💪 @ClaireSunflower we're here for you 🌷

Thanks for everyone's advice and sympathy! We had a much better night last night. He did stints of two hours and only woke for feeds. Wouldn't settle after 4am but I can live with that!

Taking each night as it comes, I'm under no illusion that just because he did it last night that he'll do it again tonight!

Good news on the weight and the counselling @ClaireSunflower

Not long now @beanturnipandspud I'm sure you sound ready to pop!

Hope you managed a nap @EsmesBees sid you make a plan regarding the weight loss?

Excellent news @Rabbitykins55 we also had a better night. Up twice but did two decent 3 hour stints of sleep.

Well I've had ALL the feelings today. Sobbing at 5am that having another baby was a terrible mistake and I'd ruined our lovely family. Bit calmer despite an up and down morning of feed, wind, hiccups, poos and no naps! Then feel amazing this afternoon as BabyTea finally did have a nap and I managed some washing and cooked something decent for dinner! Blinkin babies and hormones!

Good luck @beanturnipandspud !

@Rabbitykins55 I'm regularly up from 4 with this one if you want some company! Glad you got slightly longer chunks. Mine is cluster feeding from 4 and unsettlable. Trying to fix myself a bowl of cereal at 5am was a trial...

@1004Rise how did it go with the sling today? I have a close caboo but no idea how to use it, so have a sling consultation on Wednesday to help and to try a few others. Desperate to have my hands back (see bowl of cereal comment above!)

Starting to look into in-house childcare support here- babysitters or a post natal doula maybe- someone who can support me whilst I work here and bring baby to me to feed if need be throughout the day. Feel super guilty but a work project is looming and family are not available to help. If I can pull this one off over the next few weeks, I can buy us a slower transition back to work in the autumn.

@ClaireSunflower go easy on yourself and I hope you get counselling soon. Keep talking as you need to- we're here meanwhile.

@RasperryInAMelon thinking of you -you've been a bit quiet. Hope that means good progress!

@mightymouse76 sadly not - 40+5 today, just been keeping out of the way of people. I've had a very emotional 24 hours at home and A lot of crying...

We'll see how the MW goes tomorrow with a second attempt at a sweep...

Oh @RasperryInAMelon ...hang in there, you're so close now. Hope you get some rest ahead of tomorrow- keeping fingers crossed for you

Thank you for the support & kind words everyone. Just reading everyone else's experiences makes me feel less alone.

You guys are awesome.

Hang on in there raspberry

@mightymouse76 it was an unmitigated disaster 😖 every time I put her in she'd decide she was hungry, then she'd feed for a whole 2 minutes and we'd try again. The more I took her out the slacker it got so when she finally decided to stay in it felt too loose so I ended up still holding her 😳 Tomorrow is another day.....

On the plus side I managed to cut her nails and she still has 10 complete fingers 😁

Thanks tea I'm feeling much better now. The midwife didn't seem concerned at all, it's just very different from dd1 who was a total boob addict from the start and only lost 3%. I've just got to wake the baby more regularly. My milk came in today and she already seems more interested.

Really feel for you raspberry. There is still lots of time for you to go into labour naturally.

Today has been such a rollercoaster. Felt very happy one minute, and then sobbing the next. Such a crazy time.