May 2017 #13 the lucky thread

[Rustler74]

Just thought I'd get the next thread ready. Let them babies arrive!

Meant to also add bean sorry about your grandad

@yellowismyfavourite BabyTea was a bit like this though we've been able to put him down a bit in the last few days. I am feeding him, swaddled and when he's in a deep sleep laying him down in the basket. Other things I read included warming the basket with a hot water bottle and adding a tshirt you've worn or a muslin with some milk on so it smells of you. But I don't blame DS either it's lovely getting cuddled!

Sounds very normal yellow

@beanturnipandspud 💕💕💕

@PeachIcedT I saw a lady who spent the day laid upside down hanging off the sofa on an ironing board trying to get baby to turn the other day (it worked!)

Raspberry has been engaged at all recent appointments thankfully so fingers crossed she stays there 🤞🏻

@Tickyboovicki I had an emotional breakdown at 6am yesterday with DH asking the 'what ifs' of our relationship, such s confusing time and again, hormones do not help you see things rationally...

That's really normal yellow. They like to be held lots at the start. It's the reason we bought a sleepyhead about 5 days in last time! Swaddling helps, as does a sling so you can at least have free hands. Don't worry, this bit doesn't last for long.

MrsJ that could have been the vitamin k drops if the baby was just born?

Just reading through recent posts and congrats to all with their new babies in their arms (sometimes nowhere else!).

As for your relationship DH and I went through a shocking time with our first. I was hating every second and thinking about what a big mistake we'd made and so was her. We were tired, breast feeding was sore, baby didn't feed well and I was in tears just thinking about when he'd next wake for a painful feed.

We (I) said some evil things during the dark hours and we decided that we should let anything said between the hours of 12-6 go.

I was so depressed.

But I got through it. I still hate those days and I don't think that'll ever leave me. What a way to think about those 'magical' first few days at home with your first new born.😔

What I should have done was bottle feed (at least some of the feeds - too stubborn and competitive as all my friends bf). And the thing that makes my next babies such a a joyful experience was having an Arms Reach cot for them in my room attached to my bed. I learned to bf lying on my side and I swear we eventually didn't even wake through the night! It was all done so automatically.

Also we were Gina Ford followers and I say without any agenda that that book saved my sanity for the first baby I had.

Who knew that the reason a baby is cranky when he's woken in the morning is because he wants to sleep a mere two hours after first arising!

Everything passes. Even the constant touch phase. I can promise you that much, just roll with it.

yellow normal - try a sling, try cosleeping (ours would sleep next to us in bed much better than even in the cosleeper cot), try a walk in pram or in sling, or just a sling in the house. Or wait until properly asleep before trying to put him down.

@SouthPole interesting that you were Gina Ford followers - so you'd give it the thumbs up? DH and I are considering trying to work with her routines after week two once we've had a bit of time to settle in.

We feel as though we haven't a bloody clue so having something to follow would be helpful for us, especially with the uncertainty of when I'm going back to work at the moment.

Same as savage mine slept better in the bed between us, rather than in the co sleeper next to the bed.

Autumn both the good and bad news is that it's completely normal. Read up on the 4th trimester. This is why I've got a co sleeper and a sleepy head for this baby hoping I can convince this one that near me is enough and they don't need to sleep on me permanently.
Gina will work on a baby that likes a routine, but you cannot train a newborn that isn't that way inclined. It completely depends on the personality of the baby and how by the book you consider it to be successful.

Thanks that's really reassuring to know it's normal! DH took a turn between feeds so I did get a couple of hours sleep! We will try the pram and sling today. @teainbed I do love the cuddles so can't blame him really!

I've had a slightly tender spot on towards the top right of my bump since yesterday that is a bit sore when I move. Anyone have any ideas what it is? I'm wondering if I've tweaked a tummy muscle or something but didn't know if it could be anything more serious...

Yeah yellow totally normal. My DS never did sleep in a cot tbh although I never really tried. Just held him/sling in the day and bedshared at night. The Gentle Sleep Book has loads of info about what is normal infant sleep.

For anyone not keen on the sort of Attachment Parenting approach, have you heard of RIE? Personally I prefer it for toddlers than little babies but if you're leaning that way it's worth a look.

Re: my power cut, it's only 2.5 hours so shouldn't be a problem but just the bad timing made me laugh!

@yellowismyfavourite glad you got a few hours.

@SouthPole that's a very honest account and agree with your summation of what you could have done differently! It can be pretty grim but can also make couples understand each other better! What doesn't kill you etc.

I think I said before but I really like The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg, ignore her breastfeeding and weaning advice but it's a really sensible middle of the road sort of book, not as strict as GF but not as full on 4th trimester either. There is a flexible routine, more of a pattern than anything fixed. But also very realistic about what is normal and when.

FWIW my copy of Gina went in the recycling fairly early in this pregnancy, I'm all for routines but I've learnt to make up your own that works for your family. E.A.S.Y (see the sleep boards it's recommended on every thread) is the most adaptable, simple and practical with an under 1 in my opinion. My number one tip is don't be obsessed with a 7pm bedtime too early- you will end up with a child that is ready to get up at 5am every day.

I could rattle on for hours about how having children had changed my relationship with my husband. The first year was hard and I really struggled to adapt to motherhood and my husband's job and hobbies are very time consuming. He still relapses every now and again but I'm better at asking for help than I used to be so we are getting there.

I've got a really useful list of jobs partner can do while you breastfeed that I got from a course. Will post on the FB group later as I don't want to upset the course leader if she found it on here.

Morning ladies, the sweep went well yesterday. The midwife initially told me she didn't expect it would do anything, but afterwards it appears that my cervix has already started softening and dilating and she showed me the (TMI alert) bloody mucus. She was actually really surprised and said this was very positive and said I could be back in the hospital in 12-24 hours in labour, but that even if i did need the induction it would be easier as my cervix was ready. The actual sweep was a bit uncomfortable but not like painful. I managed to get home on public transport as well as i thought being active would help things move along. Managed to even do some organising and cleaning. Towards the evening I started having irregular contractions and passing more bloody mucus. The night was pretty grim though because i suddenly felt feverish which passed eventually and then at 4am puked my guts out. Contractions have stopped but I'm exhausted. Seems like things are moving forward on their own and hopefully labour will start naturally!!!

@ShiniBerry that's good news, sounds like you were close to being ready on your own already. Baby is obviously looking forward to meeting you

Think I'm definitely ready for maternity leave (last day tomorrow) have the urge to bake a cake today!!

Oh shini that is great news!! I know you're knackered and feel like crap but hopefully not for too long and you'll meet your baby soon

Oh god. That made me cry... hormonal?? Moi??!

Thankyou for sharing your early days stories Peeps. It does help to manage expectations however I know if I showed my DH he'd just say "yeah but we'll be fine!!" Bless him, ever the optimist.

That sounds good Shini - fingers crossed for you!

I haven't really read much on parenting so far - that's one of the things I probably need to do before the baby comes. Sounds like it does very much depend on baby whether Gina Ford or something else will work.

@Badgerbird that's what I imagine mine will be like 😂 But will try and mention some of my concerns to him tonight, just so he's aware. Finally handed in his masters dissertation yesterday so our house is so much less stressful! Bless him I think I got more stressed than he did, but am so proud of him!

Also resigned myself to the fact that baby will probably arrive before we move (tenants in the house we are buying are now not leaving for another week from Saturday) which although it sucks it's better than the uncertainty!

Great news @ShiniBerry fingers crossed for you!

Yes EASY = Tracy Hogg, her advice about interpreting cries and calming babies is excellent.

@peasandquiet I am not on FB group - could you please send it over to me via PM if that's not too much trouble? My DH would be grateful as we've run out of time during NHS antenatal class to cover it.

Hello ladies! I'll catch up on the thread when I finally collapse into bed this afternoon. DH took me out for dinner yesterday which was lovely, with him working in Newcastle, friends being crap and feeling generally crap it really helped. I also bought these RIDICULOUS outfits. I collect Stitch things, and I'm a Disney store's marketing dream. Also a Beast Baby Grow as it's hilarious, I'm going to make him wear it when he goes to my Mum's so she's embarrassed. Also ordered young Jedi on board sticker for the car... thanks @RasperryInAMelon!

Got my first maternity leave paycheque, they are still taking out £160 pension which I find horrendous?! I was shocked by the amount; I've opted to have my pay divided in equal amounts rather than 95%, then 90%, then SMP. But at least it's a consistent amount each month. Sorry to speak about money, I know its crass.

Good work shini!

I didn't find Baby Whisperer any good for us, EASY just doesn't work with a baby that falls asleep after/during a feed and I didn't like her style of writing either, all the 'your baby must fit into one of these narrow categories' business. Gina is too regimented for my winging-it parenting style , I liked reading the No Cry Sleep Solution etc but didn't want to co-sleep long term! I agree baby personality will have something to do with how receptive they are to routines and no way to predict. I found a routine was great for us but not until after 6m.

Relationship definitely changed after baby was born, I resented DH being able to sleep through night feeds and was more annoyed by him snoring than baby waking! Things settle down though and you find your new normal. It's weird suddenly having another being that you love as much as your partner, it's an adjustment.

Nurse I know mine will take out pension too, and to make matters worse whilst I'm on SMP and they can't take it out, they add it all up and then take it out in addition to my normal pension when I return to work (I'm not having my mat pay evened out as I'm not sure how long I want off).