Due July 2017 #4 …… Well into 2nd Trimester! 20 Week Scans and Bumps Galore

[Notyetthere]

4th thread!

Sorry about the title. I am not very creative.

Link to the last one
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2819363-July-2017-3?pg=1

Hope I have captured everyone’s details

LuciBee231015 - DC1 - EDD 23/06/17

Thumbsupforthesixbillion - DC1 - EDD 30/06/17

Bloopbleep - DC? - EDD 30/06/17

Kitsandkids – DC1 - EDD 01/07/17
BrioLover - DC2 - EDD 01/07/17

FlatWhiteAddict- DC1 - EDD 01/07/17

Ciderandskatesdontmix – DC3 - EDD 01/07/17

Sunshineeyes- DC? - EDD 01/07/17

Notyetthere - DC1 - EDD 01/01/17
DiddlyDokey - DC2 - EDD 02/07/17

Spirit1301- DC3 - EDD 02/07/17

foxtrot1301 - DC? - EDD 02/07/17

jellylegs7 – DC1 - EDD 02/07/17

kimmy878 – DC4 – EDD 02/07/17

becca1611 – DC1 - EDD 02/07/17
DaisyQueen – DC3- EDD 02/07/17
gingernut0106 – DC3 - EDD 02/07/17
Fliss1981 - DC2 - EDD 02/07/17

Naivebutnice - DC2 - EDD 02/07/17

dancestomyowntune - DC6 – EDD 02/07/17
Goldfish99 – DC1 - EDD 03/07/17

Moonbeam2216 - DC? - EDD 03/07/17

glitterglitters - DC2 - EDD 03/07/17

Imaginarymenagerie - DC1 - EDD 03/07/17

Jaronior – DC3- EDD 04/07/17
pennyj29 – DC2 – EDD 05/07/17

rhodes2015 – DC1 – EDD 05/07/17

PathologyGeek – DC2 – EDD 05/07/17

mcnics – DC1 – EDD 05/07/17

Twixes – DC2 - EDD 05/07/17
Knittinggurl – DC1- EDD 06/07/17

ChuffCloud – DC2- EDD 06/07/17

Seahawk80 - DC1 - EDD 07/07/17

Littlemisssugarplum88 – DC1 - EDD 07/07/17
DamsonGinIsMyThing – DC1 – EDD 07/07/17
Racketpot - DC1 – EDD 07/07/17
Fluffandsnuff – DC2 – EDD 08/07/17

Krissy81 – DC2 – EDD 08/07/17


Bawbles - DC2 – EDD 08/07/17


Missdiva155 - DC1 - EDD 09/07/17

GreenRedBlue – DC2 - EDD 09/07/17

Whycanineverthinkofausername – DC1 – EDD 09/07/17

sparkle789 – DC3 – EDD 09/07/17
Glasshalfsomething – DC? – EDD 10/07/17
Beeblossombee – DC? – EDD 10/07/17
wildone81– DC1 – EDD 11/07/17
Sasspop– DC? – EDD 11/07/17

BeckyNW – DC1 – EDD 11/07/17

Johno85 – DC1 – EDD 11/07/17

Smileygrapefruit – DC3 – EDD 11/07/17

Spindelina – DC2 - EDD 11/07/17

whatsinaname11 – DC1 – EDD 11/07/17

MrsBobDylan – DC4 – EDD 12/07/17

UKrider- DC1 - EDD 12/07/17

Glitterbandit – DC2 – EDD 12/07/17

Penny85 - DC1 – EDD 12/07/17

BakerJ - DC1 – EDD 12/07/17

Littlejayx - DC? – EDD 12/07/17

crombanna – DC1 – EDD 13/07/17

alex171 – DC2 – EDD 13/07/17

bluebird1235 – DC1 and 2 - EDD 13/07/17
- TWINS
FridaFrugal – DC2 – EDD 13/07/17

Effy1990 - DC1 – EDD 13/07/17
hellsbellsmrsbell– DC3 - EDD 14/07/17

katonic – DC1 - EDD 14/07/17

Thenailgirl – DC4 - EDD 14/07/17

iwadeboxmonster– DC - EDD 14/07/17
Ihavenousername – DC4 – EDD 15/07/17

Tatatetelle – DC1 – EDD 15/07/17

Lallypopstick – DC1 – EDD 15/07/17

Mouse14 – DC1 – EDD 15/07/17
10Betty10 – DC1 - EDD 15/07/17

Hollyhop17 – DC? - EDD 15/07/17

Gizmojo – DC1 - EDD 15/07/17

Charby87 – DC? - EDD 15/07/17

mynameisntLinda- DC2 – EDD 16/07/17
Hazlulu - DC1 – EDD 16/07/17
natienka - DC1 – EDD 16/07/17
Subshine120530 - DC2 - EDD 17/07/17

justamummy27 - DC2 - EDD 17/07/17

Xalonera - DC2 - EDD 17/07/17

purplebella – DC3 - EDD 17/07/17
Ctupp – DC1 - EDD 18/07/17
Newbie10 – DC1 - EDD 18/07/17

Boggleyboodle - DC2 - EDD 18/07/17

jld128 - DC1 - EDD 18/07/17

mummycaitlin - DC2 – EDD 18/07/17
Flappergirl86 – DC1 – EDD 18/07/17
Ml1091 - DC1 - EDD 19/07/17

Hewhew – DC3 – EDD 20/07/17

Mummy10121417– DC4 – EDD 20/07/17

Gooseygoosey12345 – DC2 – EDD 20/07/17

herewegoonceagain – DC5 – EDD 21/07/17

TiltedNewt – DC2 – EDD 21/07/17

Harvestwidow - DC1 – EDD 21/07/17

DeliciouslyHella – DC2 - EDD 21/07/17

Lostmyemailaddress – DC7 - EDD 21/07/17
Mawita – DC1 – EDD 22/07/17
mm81 – DC1 – EDD 22/07/17
em165 - DC2 - EDD 23/07/17

0EatSleepTeachRepeat – DC1 - EDD 23/07/17

parsnips82 – DC1 – EDD 23/07/17


Katie0907 - DC2- EDD 23/07/17
TinklingTheIvories – DC? - EDD 23/07/17

Sewingbeatshousework - DC3 - EDD 25/07/17

Danigrace – DC1 – EDD 25/07/17
Blink1982 – DC2 – EDD 25/07/17
Amzz – DC2 - EDD 26/07/17
PurplePikmin – DC? - EDD 27/07/17

Sweets27 – DC2 - EDD 27/07/17

Holz657 – DC1 - EDD 27/07/17

CatRash – DC1 – EDD 27/07/17

beckieHN – DC1 – EDD 27/07/17
AMillionMilesFromThere – DC3 - EDD 28/07/17
BeapBeap - DC2 - EDD 29/07/17

Sonia2017 - DC1 - EDD 29/07/17

DrewOB0 - DC? – EDD 29/07/17
sandsandwiches – DC2 – EDD 30/07/17

LetMeHaveABloodyName – DC1 – EDD 30/07/17
Chunder - DC2 – EDD 30/07/17

KatelovesJames - DC2 – EDD 30/07/17
Kickiedee – DC1 – EDD 30/07/17
aurevoirsailor – DC1 – EDD 31/07/17

@Seahawk80 congrats to your sis!! It sounds like your family is growing fast!

@Seahawk80 & @glitterglitters I get the whole 'not knowing what to say' thing from the other perspective, being someone who was trying for a long time and had my little sister accidentally get pregnant and have a baby and of our close group of 6 friends (including me & my sis) 4 of them got pregnant/had babies in that time, leaving me and a girl who is gay and doesn't want kids! I can only speak from my personal experience (and I know a lot of girls in the same situation hate to be around pregnancy and babies bc it's too hard on them emotionally) but for me whilst my situation was gut-wrenchingly hard and painful and I did struggle, the last thing I would have wanted is to put that same pain on those closest to me (the world didn't need to stop having babies bc I couldn't). It was my sister that had the confidence to say to me that she and the other girls weren't always sure how to be around me and what to say bc they wanted to be sensitive and didn't want to upset me and 'felt really bad' -- it just made me feel bad that they had been feeling that way and that I may have made them feel like that! Her being honest with me in a gentle way gave me the opportunity to say to them that whilst I was struggling and would probably want to vent at them [and may at times have a mental breakdown in their vicinity] that I loved them dearly and didn't want them to stifle themselves in any way as until it was my time I planned on taking the 'baby joy' from them and their babies. Having that chat made things much easier and one of them even asked me to be her birth partner and I did NCT classes with her and was there when her baby was born which was amazing.

@ButterflyFree oooh that sounds nice! How great to have a pool in your building! And I totally agree re. the pilates. I think if I didn't do all the classes I do then even with the best intentions I wouldn't exercise anywhere near enough, "life" just gets too busy - but if I've paid a term up front for everything and it's at a certain time I'll get my bum there!! And then said bum thanks me for it lol.

That's so sad @glitterglitters - I was really upset when my little sister got pregnant with the baby she's just had. I was older, had been TTC for a while and this was her second but of course I was happy and excited for her. I had a cry when I got home but I would never have made things hard for her.

Took us years to conceive this one. I am fully apologetic about my anger during that time but until you've been through infertility it's hard to understand. I was a very miserable person.

Thanks @Seahawk80 it's been really tricky as they've said a few things in the past that have been extremely hurtful but we've let it slide given the circumstances. They're having a completely child free wedding (which is their right) but have kicked off because we can't attend (can't leave a newborn to drive several hours away etc). They've basically told everybody that we're being very selfish and it's their day etc. Should just put the baby on formula and come and get drunk. We're too soft.

I also olanned a few child friendly events and meet ups with friends and they've hijacked them into different events. Purposely excluded me (but not dh) from invites etc. They tried to convince dh to go on a child free getaway as a big group on the 30th June (!!!) and then got cross with him when he (understandably) said no. They called him pussy whipped and under the thumb.

When our mutual friends have queried the behaviour they've said it's just too painful to be around us. Sadly there's also family link and they've told the family we're being obtuse etc and rude when it really isn't further from the truth. We've just had to step away from them all because it was making me very upset and depressed, but it's meant having to separate myself from my main friendship group which is incredibly upsetting but I can't find a way round it. 😣 obviously I feel terrible for them but at the same there comes a point of creating misery for others with your own. Sorry about the long post. Been bugging the hell out of my lately 😔

Thanks @danigrace and @DrewOB0 it took me about 8 months to get pg and I knew I had pcos so I had a small taste of how hard it can be but it's always good to hear other people's perspectives. I was really down at the point I conceived, it's such a hard time.

However your friends behaviour sounds awful @glitterglitters we had a child free wedding but made an exception for babes in arms as otherwise it's impossible for people. Hopefully something happens for them soon and you get a huge apology. Sounds like they just aren't coping. I hope the rest of your friends and family are understanding and making an effort with you.

@Seahawk80 thanks so much. I hope something positive happens for them too. It's such a sad situation overall. 😣

@glitterglitters I agree with @Seahawk80, I hope they have some good news and settle down. It's hard bc they are obviously acting out from a place of hurt and pain rather than sanity and that can be hard for you to wrap your head around. But also hard for them to understand you wanting to be home with baby bc it's sadly not an instinct they have yet been able to experience. As long as damage is kept to a minimum and hopefully isn't taken too personally things can be healed in the long run xx

So heartbreaking when people can't be happy for you because they're struggling with their own fertility, though I can completely understand it. I remember my Auntie laughing one Christmas saying how jealous I was about my cousins baby, unbeknownst to her, minutes before I'd been crying on the bathroom floor cos I was suffering from really bad depression and was single and resigned to a the idea that I was going to have a childless thus joyless life and be a tragic disappointment to the whole family. It went far beyond just being jealous! Wanting a baby and not being able to have one is indescribably painful and I say that as someone who conceived straight away when the opportunity presented itself, I can't imagine the agony of waiting for months or years for it to happen, or not happen .

Anyone else with a transverse bump? The pain is horrendous when he pushes out to the side, I barely can walk :(

Acting from a place of hurt is one thing... I had a stillbirth and then it took 3 years to be pregnant again (some of that time due to testing taking this long to find out the cause). In that time though I did not shy away from friends with kids (too much) though did not seek that out obviously, especially initially, when I dealt with my loss. What helped me was actually the opposite- three months after it happened I wrote a public Facebook post on how it feels to lose a baby and how hard it is because there are no social norms that tell you - or friends - what's right, how to behave, how to offer support etc. And it was not only very cathartic but I got so many private messages saying that it really helped others because they never knew if they could or should say something, etc...

I know it's not for everyone but there is no question that it's openness and kindness that bring healing... not spitefulness.

natienka that's so sad. You're very brave to talk about it publicly, there's such a stigma about losing babies and it happens so much more than anyone knows about. This pregnancy must be so so special to you x

Sorry to hear that drew -I don't even know what a tranverse bump is!!

The baby lies across, pushing on both sides of the bump , rather than up / down

@Flappergirl86 that's such a sad story, so glad things worked out for you. I really struggled with well meaning relatives asking when we'd get a move on and have a baby. I call people out on it now but at the time I was too upset and knew I'd overreact. One of the things I was chatting to my mum about was that I wanted to ask my 2 best friends to be godparents, they are both my age (36). One has been TTC for a year and the other really wants a family but is single (I know there are options but she wants a relationship). I would always have asked these 2 friends even if they had 6 kids each but I didnt want them to think I'd asked them as they don't / may not have children. In the end I stopped overthinking it and just asked them and they are both really pleased.

@natienka I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you. I really admire how positive you are. My old boss had a baby who was stillborn around Christmas time, I messaged her last Christmas to say I was thinking of her, it's so hard to know what to say and I didn't want to upset her but then I thought it's not like she'll have forgotten it and it must be awful when people avoid you because they don't know what to say. She's just had a little girl and everything went well so I'm so happy for her.

seahawk being a Godparent is the next best thing surely. I bet they were chuffed and there's plenty of time for them to make you a Godparent in return. Very few of my friends want kids but theyre excited for me to have one so I'm lucky I don't have to worry about that. On the other hand I don't wanna be 'the one with a kid' forever!

drew that sounds uncomfortable -will s/he turn around soon or spend most of the pregnancy like that until you're close to delivery?

Flapper hit the nail on the head. The desire to want to have a child goes beyond jealousy of other people's success in conceiving. We also conceived almost immediately after trying. Cycle 2 of 1st pregnancy which ended in miscarriage and conceived during 1st cycle for this pregnancy. But I fully recognise not enjoying people's good news when they conceived. I was already feeling upset by news of people successfully conceiving even when we had not started trying. We had decided for me to stop the pill at the end of May last year to give my body time to adjust. But even before then, friends broke their news on FB and I surprised myself that I didn't want to know. I was happy for them but part of me selfishly really wanted it to be me instead.

It was the anticipated fear of the unknown - would I ever be able to conceive when we eventually started? A lot of people in my circle had been trying for a while and on average conceive after about 6months but I remember days taking forever waiting for ovulation, temperature changes, the tww, that I thought how am I going to survive the next 6 months and beyond! That was when I left FB as I imagined I would not cope well with people breaking the news.

Sea you have reminded me about a particularly horrible moment I had in September. I was at dnephew's christening and DH's grandma expressed her disappointment in DH and I not having any news for her with regards to having a baby. I had just miscarried the day before and was still bleeding heavily even at the party but I wanted to be there to celebrate something else instead staying at home and feeling sorry for myself. SIL and PIL knew before phone and I watched blood drain from their faces when they heard granny's comments! Well meaning relatives really ought to be more sensitive to these things. They wouldn't know how long you could have been trying, or going through ivf, tests, etc

On a lighter note -whose nipples resemble side plates at the minute? raises hand

Raises hand

Mine!! And they keep leakingggg... well one does.. the other is still yet to catch up! Still got 16 weeks to go too!

That sounds awful not - People really should think before they speak. The day before I found out my little sister was pregnant my mum's friend had been going on and on at me.

I've just booked a Red Cross baby and child
First aid course, it was £60 each (in London) and I thought it would be a useful thing to do. Not the most exciting baby purchase but I'm feeling very sensible!

Oh yes -
My nipples are huuuuge! No leakage but I'm
using wool breast pads to try to stop the unbearable pain every time they get vaguely cold!

@natienka, very well said. And so sorry to hear of your loss.

@DrewOB0 ooch sounds painful! I take it you've tried 'spinning babies' website? I hope it improves for you soon!

Sorry to hear of others losses too ((hugs)). For us when we finally decided we were ready for a baby which I naively thought would happen quickly after 'deciding' (after being together since school and living together 12 years!) I git diagnosed with bladder issues and was told by a doc 'it might be dangerous to have children and probably wasn't the best idea' which was devastating but a year later after surgery and lots of natural therapies was given the green light to start trying (and again I excitedly thought this is it!) but it took another years worth of dedicated hard work to get our bfp! I'm now determined to cherish every moment!!

Saying that I've just got back from a lovely aquanatal class that finished with floating around to classical music with dim lights, was bliss!! It's a lovely private mummy baby pool so is all clean and warm which makes is extra nice too.

That sounds amazing @danigrace - you're not in London are you?

Hearing others' stories really helps I think - real stories not those rose tinted where everything went perfect and not those horrible ones of traumatic labour but those that do show how normal every situation is... That's what i find so helpful in this forum!

Does anyone have a definitive list of what needs to be done before / after baby? Mat b1, the form for paternity leave, childcare vouchers or tax credits, etc?