#TTC1 - Second Wave grads thread!

[Mooseville]

Hello!!

This is a new wave of grads for those from #TTC1 - Those on the first grade thread are dealing with poonamis and crying babies, while we are still waving our FRER's and wondering if that line is really a figment of our imagination!

Feel free to join in, if you too are embarking on this crazy journey to parenthood!!

Brill news wanting Is that all girls so far for those finding out?!

So exciting wanting!!

Music you have to go on Mumsnet from an internet browser as there is no message option on the app. When you come onto the thread via the browser you'll see "message this poster" or something near my name.

Eeek congratulations wanting how exciting!! Any names in mind yet?

What stuff did you find starmist? I'm curious as I'm on the fence too, DH thinks I'll be disappointed if it's a boy but I've read that knowing the sex beforehand is linked to higher chance of PND and reduced bonding. Sorry to anyone finding out or who knows already, I don't mean to offend or get anyone's back up, it's an entirely personal choice but PND and bonding are big concerns of mine as I'm not hugely maternal and I'm massively attached to my first baby (my cat 😩) don't know what to do and only have 8 weeks to mull it over lol!!

Ooh FXskip I've not heard that one. Where did you read that? I just think that even if I decided I didn't want to find out - when they asked me at the scan I would change my mind on the spur of the moment as I have no will power!

Also I have realised how ridiculous my post sounds about being scared to have a boy - I would be ridiculously happy to have a healthy baby either way!! I just think boys names are harder to pick than girls.

Congrats Wanting 💖

FXSkip I've read something similar though can't remember where. I think if you have a strong preference for a gender people think it's better to find out the sex to be prepared but the experts recommend you wait as after labour you'll be so overcome with emotion you'll be thrilled to hold your baby & the gender won't seem as important. Whereas if you find out in advance you've got months to stew on it if it's the 'wrong' outcome.

Sometimes we'd like a girl but other times we'd like a boy so it's safe to say we'd be delighted either way. I can see the benefits of finding out at 20 weeks & keeping it a surprise which is what makes it so hard. My friend was team surprise with both of her DD's & she said it helped her through the final stage of labour as she was so desperate to know the sex. But I think even if you knew the sex you'd still be motivated to push because you want to meet baby. She said she didn't want lots of blue/pink clothes & that nothing is a surprise these days so she wanted to keep this to be the biggest surprise of all. I can understand everything she said but I do feel impatient. Music I agree, I think if they asked me if I wanted to know I'd cave! Still got a few weeks to mull this one over. I think whichever way you go it's lovely though.

Congrats on finding out Wanting! how exciting.

Skip and Starmist I was vaguely tempted to find out as I got closer to 20 week scan as I thought it would help me bond with the baby and get my head round that I was actually having a baby (!!) a bit more. In the end we decided to have a surprise though and I have to say as the pregnancy has progressed I'm really glad we didn't find out as it's made it really exciting and fun guessing whether it's a boy or girl and getting to know the baby and their movements etc in the meantime. It's really keeping me going now through this final few weeks knowing that we'll find out soon which is really exciting and think it will keep me going in labour too. Have put on my birth plan that DH is to announce whether it's a boy or a girl which I think will be really lovely. That's not to take away at all from anyone who has found out or does decide to but just thought I'd throw in my perspective in case its helpful for those on the fence!

I had my placenta scan yesterday... it's still not moved out the way they are going to re-scan in 2 weeks but think I need to accept it's less likely to move now given it hasn't moved between 20 and 33 weeks. I know that whatever's safest for baby is most important but feel a bit upset/disappointed at the thought of having to have a C Section as was actually really looking forward to labour and giving birth after all the hypnobirthing stuff I'd been reading. They did say baby was head down now though and that actually that could be helpful as their head might just nudge the placenta out the way as they continue to drop down and engage?! Keeping everything crossed as really don't like the idea of a C Section. Was lovely to see baby again though, could see hair on the head!! Nice to understand the position baby is in now too so I know what limb is poking me where

Welcome and congrats to the new grads!

Sorry to hear that marmite Will keep everything crossed for baby to bump it out the way! Just think of the benefits of a C section - you're going to know exactly when they're coming so can prepare properly and no fanjo rips or tears! There are some plus points!
I bet your hypnobirthing will help you keep calm through the procedure too, so all that work won't be lost!

I seem to have grown over the course of a week. Last week I could be mistaken as chubby, this week I look 40 weeks pregnant with triplets literally overnight!!! It's so freaky! 26 weeks on Saturday so I guess it had to happen sometime!!!?

I honestly think the whole finding out the sex thing is just entirely personal. These experts can't possibly say that knowing what you're having could make you bond less, of course if you were told you were having a girl then it came out a boy you would be a little bit shocked but you would still love your baby more than anything! If there are people who wouldn't bond with the baby after that then its nothing to do with the sex of the baby.

FXSkip if you're worried about bonding then I would say that finding out the gender would probably help you more, you'll be able to pick out a name and say "her/him" instead of "it/they/baby". Honestly, the chance that the sonographer will be wrong (especially if you go private or have a 3D scan after 20 weeks) is very minimal. Of course you could still bond with the baby even if you don't know the sex but the uncertainty might be more of an anxiety causing issue for you.

DH and I are just impatient and I'm an obsessive "planner" so it calms me to know that I'll have all her clothes ready (there's only so much unisex stuff you can buy!) and have her name picked out etc. Both my mum and MIL said we shouldn't find out but its our baby and our choice

Thanks Moose I know you're right just struggling to get my head round it and not feel disappointed. Still potential to move though I guess so PMA!

I've just looked back at my weekly bump pictures on my phone (hehe) it's funny looking back and seeing what you thought was a massive obvious bump at the time which now looks so teeny and compact! Looks like around 26/27 weeks it really started to pop out more for me though too - enjoy it!!

Hi all I was on the ttc #1 thread and got my BFP a couple of weeks ago. I've been too scared to join incase it wasn't real. I'm currently 5+5 and have my booking in appointment with the midwife today, I have it early as I have a family history of the blood clotting disorder Factor 5 Leiden and never been tested. I've been reading about how dangerous it can be in pregnant women and terrified myself.

Haven't told anyone in real life yet so thankful for the support of you ladies!

Hi colour and welcome! 👋 I think I remember you - were you about 8 cycles in? congratulations anyway! delighted to see another lovely lady from the old thread here. Although it's hard not to, try not to freak out at everything you read online. Hopefully your midwife should be able to reassure you a little, and that you'll get closely monitored as a result? Let us know how you get on!

Also thanks everyone for your perspectives on the gender thing. I'm still in two minds, I'll wait and see what I say if they ask at the scan I think! I agree it is entirely personal, even if I found out I'd want to not tell people as I hate the thought of people asking personal questions lol! Also, I like the idea of step-mum being prevented from making or buying ghastly pink or blue clothes, I'm really fussy and minimalist so dread the thought of people buying mass-produced stuff for it. Ungrateful I know, I just can't help it! 🙈

Welcome colour

RE sex - i agree its personal preference as to whether you find out. I didn't really have a preference as to which but I was desperate to find out. For some reason DH was certain it was a girl and I think if we'd waited and it was a boy he'd have been a bit shocked! Silly really. Delighted with our little girl though. And picking out baby clothes has been a lot of fun. I found there was so much more choice when you know what the sex is; it's not all pink and blue these days! We now have our names but they're top secret until baby is here

Hi Skip yeah I remember you too. Yes 8 cycles although it seemed like a lot longer. Midwife needed to check with consultants at the hospital about my possible blood disorder and as predicted they couldn't get hold of any, so I've got another appointment in 2 week time when they should have some more info. Time is moving so slowly since getting my BFP!

Congrats & welcome Colour! Hopefully you can get some reassuring news at your next appointment. Time stood still for me in those first weeks, I tried distracting myself with other things as much as I could.

Sorry to hear that Marmite... FX baby can nudge it out of the way. But as Moose said there are positives to a c section so try & really think about those, as then hopefully either way you won't be too disappointed.

Congrats Wanting! Another little girl! My husband and I have both said we think we're expecting a girl but we're not going to find out (I've got a long way to go until that scan anyway haha). I totally agree that it's personal preference whether you find out or not and you should what feels right for you. My friends are a real mixture and I also have a few friends who had a surprise first time but found out with their second.

Welcome Colour! Hope you're feeling ok.

Starmist I'm feeling ok thank you, I'm just tired and find I get tired a lot more easily than before. I also get quite breathless if I walk to fast or exercise too much so I need to slow down a bit. I'm so surprised at how something so tiny can make you so tired!

I got a letter confirming my first midwife appointment on week 8 (I'm currently 6+3) so it's feeling a bit more real now. My EDD is 18th October.

I hope you're all doing well and looking forward to the weekend

Ugh typos!

*should do
*too

Hi poppet I'm due not long after you. 23rd October. Have you told anyone yet? We haven't told anyone apart from the GP.

Hi Colour, we were planning on waiting but we have told our families (parents and siblings) as we were really excited and wanted them to know. On a slightly different note, we also thought that if the worst happened, we would want their support.

We haven't told anyone else yet and we're planning to wait until the scan now. I saw my GP last week and interestingly she was of the opinion that it's fine to tell people earlier if you want to but we're happy to wait now.

Are you planning on waiting for 12 weeks to tell anyone?

skip that made me laugh about the mil and the clothes! I'm the same. I've bought lots of grey for the baby! My mil has strict instructions, nothing pink even it it turns out to be a girl and absolutely nothing with any slogan or writing on it!

I agree that finding out the gender is totally personal. The reason I stayed team surprise is that both my sisters had caesareans-
When we didn't know the sex it was so exciting but my sister is having her second, a boy next week and it is a bit like we already know everything. That said I'm sure it's much more exciting when it's your own baby!

We stayed team surprise. I'm going to be ecstatic either way and I think it'll be a nice thing for DP to announce after the birth to me!
I also think me holding off buying too many clothes is a good thing! I've already got lists of shops to use once I we know blue or pink - I feel that'll help with some sleep deprivation - shopping!!!

Happy Saturday everyone!

I'm loving hearing everyone's thoughts on finding out or staying team surprise! It has led to me and my DH having some more conversations about it and I feel like we have given it some sensible thought. We still have 5 weeks to decide and we can see both sides so it's a tricky one! I know myself though and I imagine ultimately I won't have enough patience or will power not to find out. We definitely wouldn't be telling others though for fear of the pink/blue clothes scenario from our mums like you skip and seahawk! (Although of course they mean well.)

Welcome new grads and congratulations!

Colour I found that having extra appointments helped make time go a little quicker. The wait for the 12 week scan can seem looooong!

marmite So sorry to hear about your stubborn placenta. Definitely time for it to move still though and in the meantime I guess it gives you time to come to terms with the fact that your birth experience might have to be a bit different from how you originally saw it. Then if placenta moves it will be a massive bonus! Out of interest how did you do your weekly bump photos? Same day of the week with the same clothes? Same time of day? I wanted to do it but I just feel fat and unattractive and don't really want to document it!

Yay to having a proper bump now moose! Would you say that people that didn't know you were pregnant could tell before now?

I've got my 16 week midwife appointment on Monday. Anyone else had theirs recently? Did you all get to hear baby's heartbeat?

Happy Saturday! I'm on my way to the airport to go to Maritius so I'm in an extra good mood 😊.

Music I got to hear the heartbeat but I know others who didn't. Maybe compromise with your DH that if they don't listen and you still feel anxious you can go for an extra scan? I'm much less anxious now that I can feel movement.

Marmite sorry to hear about your placenta. Most people I know who had a caesarean first time actually got on quite well with it and opted for one the next time too. I guess there's a big difference between mahout surgery when you are well rested and prepared vs after 40 hours of pain and stress and no sleep. My sister said make sure you think about your coming home from hospital outfit - ideally high waisted soft knickers that won't rub your scar and a loose dress. (Ps every time I see your username I have a craving for a Starbucks cheese and marmite panini!)

Welcome colour