#TTC1 - Second Wave grads thread!

[Mooseville]

Hello!!

This is a new wave of grads for those from #TTC1 - Those on the first grade thread are dealing with poonamis and crying babies, while we are still waving our FRER's and wondering if that line is really a figment of our imagination!

Feel free to join in, if you too are embarking on this crazy journey to parenthood!!

Dixie, sounds were right on track then. X
😊 and yes that's a lovely big jump in a week!! So cute you got a pic too.

:-) what a lovely lot of scans and good news! Made me feel better coming on here reading it after a frankly shitty weekend. The baby is fine (at least I hope so) but DH chose yesterday to confess to me that he has had a spending problem for the last year or so that has spiralled out of control. I don't have view of his accounts (I do now!!) and we had a shared budget which I thought I could rely on which was pretty much a total farce. He's wiped out the 20k house deposit I thought we had on shit - games, paintball kit, food - and hadn't told me for fear I would leave him, apparently. He's so bloody lucky I wasn't doing the same and have some savings which will wipe out his overspending- overall we are still comfortably in credit - but I'm feeling a bit shell shocked, bereft, upset and angry right now.

At least he told me finally and I didn't have to find out myself but he already knows - this is rock bottom. He does ANYTHING like this again and all trust will be gone. I can't stay with someone who sabotages our future like this :-(

This fucking hurts. I love him madly and he'll make a great dad but I hope to god the fact he knows I now have oversight on everything he spends - and the fact we have a baby on the way - will force him to grow up and be careful with money from now on :-(

Kav that's awful, its such a blow when you realise you've been lied to or something kept from you isn't it? Not anywhere near as serious but my DH lied to me in the past about quitting his e-cig, I thought he had quit but he had actually restarted a few weeks later and not told me until I found evidence probably over a year later. He said he was going to tell me after a few months but didn't want to disappoint me, then it just spiralled into "I've left it too long now, she'll hate me if I tell her" etc.

I hope you do feel like you can trust him again after a period of time, he needs to understand that he'll have to work to earn your trust. That's a lot of money he's spent, does he intend to make it back up rather than continuing to spend? That could help you to trust him again if he made some personal sacrifices to make up for the mindless spending.

Hi all,

I'm back from Dubai. Had lovely cuddles with my friends little boy who is 5 months - he is absolutely gorgeous and a a dream of a well behaved baby. Made it look so easy!!!
Was hard work being sober with three overexcited girl friends though - isn't it amazing how much drunk people repeat themselves! I think by the last night I'd heard every conversation three times, I was losing the will to live!!!

Congrats on all the good scan news....

kav That is such awful news. As someone who was terrible with money myself in the past, hopefully this is the shock to pull himself together. And definitely for the best that he owned up before you found out.
Me and DP have both been frivolous and racked up debt in the past before we were together, so we now have a joint account which we pay all our money into other than an allowance (£200 each a month at the moment) so we use that to use on anything we want for ourselves, and then discuss any bigger purchases that would need to come out the joint account to agree we can afford it. It's worked really well, I think without it I would be spending a lot more, but I do still have some independence and can buy stuff without being questioned what it was for! Do you think something like that would work for him? I'd also be making him flog his games on eBay and make some of it back!

Awww Dubai baby cuddles sound lovely Moose! Glad you had a nice time there. :)

I think your suggestion of joint account and allowances might be the way we have to go. I've had spending problems myself in the past before I met DH so I know how easy it is to do. We save money in the joint account already but I think I'm going to have to ask DH to pay more into there in future as I'm the only one that's been topping it up the last few months. And yes, MrsG, it's not so much the money that hurts - though it does - it's the fact that for a year I didn't know what he was doing.

Whoever it was on here that recommended the bump band from Jojo Maman Bebe, thank you! I'm still too small for maternity leggings and jeans but can't do up my regular jeans - the bump band is a godsend :) so nice to be back in jeans again.

Hi all. This morning started light spotting its continued all day. Couldn't get a dr appointment but got a phone call from the emergency nurse practitioner. 2 and a half hours after the time they said they would phone. Going to Drs in a bit where I have to have bought and take my own pregnancy test. Sonhave to go to chemist and then get a test then get one. Then have to do the test then go to doctor. Not holding out much hope to be honest.

Don't lose hope yet Miw, spotting is pretty common, it could well be nothing but you did the right thing calling to check. Good luck xx

Good Luck miw Spotting can be quite common and everything ok. Will keep everything crossed for you xx

Good luck Miw as others said spotting can be very common , I had it a couple of weeks ago and all is good.

Do any of you ladies suffer from Migraines? I thought I was getting away with them but I have had one since Friday - Its easing at the moment but still feel terrible, getting sick from it etc. Wondering if you have any magical cures? I usually take my migraine tablets which work great but I can't take them now and paracetamol is like taking Jelly Beans.

miw hope you're ok, as others have said it's not always a bad sign - fingers crossed for you.

Hells have you tried acupuncture and/or craniosacral therapy? I have a lady who does both (cranio while the needles are in) and it helped massively. Otherwise often a good chiropractic adjustment can do the trick.

Had my booking in appt - just 4 loooonngg weeks till the scan now!

Hi dr confirmed an early miscarriage. I am so very sad. I wish you all the best in your pregnancies. I now need to wollow s little and need time to put myself back together. Going to sign out of mn for s while x

Take care all xxx

I'm so so Sorry Miw take care of yourself

Fx Thanks for that wouldn't have thought of acupuncture or craniosacral therapy.

Miwe I'm so desperately sorry for you. Did your test show a positive? They would only confirm with a blood test hunny so please make sure you get that checked over 48 hours if you're only spotting. I really hope it's not true for you. 💐😢

Hellsbells I'm suffering with mild headaches now and then in the evening. I've never had them before. I hope they don't get worse.

Kav he better be making your fucking dinner. It's a good job he told you now. Sometimes you just want to kick them in the balls. Hugs. X

Miw, what horrible news. So sorry :( I wish there was something we could do or say to make it better.

Hells, Skip's suggestion of acupuncture is a good one. My mum used to suffer from 3 day headaches and acupuncture definitely helped her. I have no clue what craniosacral therapy is though!

We're eating at a friend's place tonight Mouse, so no he isn't, but he knows damn well he's in the doghouse at the moment. I'm probably going to ask him to jettison some of his paintball gear as we're tripping over it at the moment and I'm sure he can get a decent price for it. Games unfortunately he can't sell as purchases have been digital ... was talking with his sister earlier today about it though and she was like ... does he really need like 50 paintball guns. It's not quite that extreme but not far off it, and that's where the vast amount of his money has gone. Looking over his statements had my blood pressure climbing - spending, and keeping on spending, despite having nothing to pay with ... arrrrrgh! Sister thinks I should have him on an allowance too and I'm tempted to go that way, just don't want to have to treat him like a child.

miw I am so very sorry for you. I hope you get all the support you need and take time to rest and grieve.

kav what a shite, but it's good that you know now and you can move forward together and hopefully forge a more trusting partnership. It can't have been easy on him knowing that you'd flip if you found out and trying to manage the stress of debt. It doesn't mean you shouldn't be mad, but I hope that you can find a way to work this so that you aren't micromanaging him and so that he can be honest with you.

miw so sorry. Take care of yourself.

kav I think the allowances really help us. And it's not that we don't buy things for ourselves that aren't above the allowance (my girls holiday to Dubai for example) but because they then come out of joint accounts, it has to be agreed by both parties that the bigger expense is ok. I think this'll work well when we have the baby too, although I'll probably organise a "baby allowance" each month too for clothes and baby classes etc too but then discuss any bigger purchases.

So so sorry miw

Oh miw I am so so sorry take time to heal and be good to yourself. I hope you've got good support you can lean on.

Hells I suffered terribly with headaches in the first trimester. I found the 4 Head stick things while didn't get rid of the headaches did at least make the pain more manageable, if that helps. Acupuncture also supposed to be helpful so that's a good suggestion.

I'm currently in a&e and have been for some hours - turns out infection is resistant to any antibiotics the GP can prescribe me in pregnancy. I've got a cannula in and they're setting up a bed for me in the ward as plan seems to be another type of antibiotics they can do via IV. Bit fed up!

Kav what a fucking nightmare, not what you need at all right now. I'm glad he's told you now though rather than waiting even longer/ waiting for you to find out. Agree with suggestions on joint accounts, budget etc. Hopefully you can sell some stuff too. Hope you're ok

Hels my sister recommended the 4head sticks too

So sorry for your loss miw look after yourself

hels I had a migraine last week and another today. I've been keeping a record of headaches too and have had one daily for the last 6 days I use the forehead stick and the stick on headache/migraine cold patches from boots along with paracetamol (which doesn't touch the migraine tbh). My Dr said I could take aspirin today so I did that and it helped a little. I may go back and ask for acupuncture (is that available on NHS?) if it continues into the second trimester.

marmite sounds like you're in the wars hope you feel better soon.

kav what a nightmare. Hope he realises how lucky is that you've been so understanding. Difficult when you love someone but they need to change their ways. I'm sure you'll find a way though together. Good luck.

Counting down the hours to my scan on Wednesday. I'll be 12+2. Fingers crossed all is OK.

Hope you get better soon marmite

Our house move has been delayed AGAIN. One of the solicitors has just gone away leaving an out of office reply on? Who does that when they know there's a house exchange/completion going on??? FFS!
So sick of living in limbo and with half our possessions packed up! Even worse, I now have to go into work rather than have another week off!!

Not long wanting That seems to have flown by!

Moose glad you had a nice time in Dubai! Was just about to book a holiday there when I got my bfp. Boo on the house delay!

Marmite 3rd trimester, how exciting! A friend of a friend had a huge bump all pregnancy but only had a 7lb baby, was just all water. Sorry to hear you're in A&E, feeling any better?

Mouse glad to hear your scan went well and they're getting thyroid sorted.

Kav I'm liking the sound of your experience of pregnancy sex! I went right off it until only a few weeks ago which kinda sucked. Sorry to hear about your DH's spending. At least it's out in the open now, no more nasty surprises. Hope you both find a way through it.

Music sorry your interview went bad. At least you can say you gave it a shot, shows willing and all that! Glad you got some good calming advice on pregnancy and Crohn's.

FxSkip I have noticed I'm a tab more gassy than normal too, haven't had to exile myself yet though! Scan time coming soon, how exciting!

Miw so sorry to hear your sad news, take care of yourself.

Seahawk welcome! Glad the scan went well.

Hells another good scan, congrats! I've heard a can of Coke can ease pregnancy migraines? Something about the caffeine.

Ns sorry to hear you ended up in A&E but another positive scan!

Wanting you're scan's tomorrow right? Super exciting!

MrsG glad booking in went well.

Dixie more scan happiness!

I am so tired all the time. Is this what life will be like for the next 20 years?

Nooooo fishy don't say that! I am banking on morning sickness and tiredness being away by end of week (9wk mark) as I've just been promoted at work, I have social stuff and/or work stuff EVERY day from now until end march, with various appointments or work in the evenings

I have my booking appointment on Friday. But I feel a bit in limbo. I'm 8+2 but baby is probably measuring 6 weeks by now. All my apps say baby should be X but I know it's not. I'm not worrying really but just wondering. I guess if I'd not had the early scan I'd have never known. Still can't believe something so small had a little heart. 🤓

Thanks Moose, Fishy and wanting feeling a bit better, just got to wait and see whether the infection clears now... got to go back in tomorrow for them to have another look at it .

Been a bit of a 'mare of a week generally though as yesterday our builder quit and walked out on us only a week into the job with several weeks worth of work to go!! so feeling quite stressed out and fed up at the moment. And knackered as I can't sleep!!!!

That's good to hear about your friend with the massive bump and 7 pound baby too Fishy! hopefully that'll be the story for me too then!! Haha.

Sounds like you're having an equally frustrating week Moose that's really crap about your house move. Any news on when you can expect it to get moving again?

Sounds like you;ve got a very busy stressful time coming up Skip. I know that feeling... you really need to try and put yourself first though (something people keep telling me but I'm not very good at!) is there anything at all you can cancel or get out of?

Went shopping after work last night and started picking up some bits for hospital bag.... oh my gaaad... still doesn't feel really though! Got some good bargains in Mothercare sale - nursing nightie and dressing gown set in the sale for £13.50! That'll do for after labour! Also got some cute bits and pieces for the baby. And looked at scary things like maternity pads, nursing pads and nipple cream!