Due in February 2017 - thread #9

[twocatsandatoddler]

New thread - hope everyone finds this! I'll try and post the link in the old thread if it will let us go over 1,000 posts.

On names, I didn't change mine when I got married either but I never really thought anything other than DS having my husband's name before hand. It's only since that I've wondered whether I should have gotten my surname in there somewhere too. But my name doesn't work well for hyphenation, or even as a middle name (it can be and adjective) so not sure how I'd have managed it. For DS first name, DH suggested it and I liked it - it met all our criteria - but once DS was born it took ages for me to get used to him as that name. I didn't use it directly for ages - instead called him baby boy or little man etc. I can't imagine him having any other name now though.

We have a snuzpod and I loved it - can't wait to use it again. We were given a cradle which we used for downstairs but a bit worried about using that this time as DS might get a bit too enthusiastic rocking the baby to sleep so might have to look into something else.

DH is mostly pretty good about the material organisation and what to buy but leaves me to lead more in regards to labour (thankfully) and babycare - he'll do what I say but doesn't tend to research or make the decisions.

To be fair, MIL will definitely pitch in and not expected to be waited on but I'll still feel pressure to be 'on'.

When you are sore and hormonal and trying to learn to breastfeed, the idea of having anyone around seeing you in that state besides your own mother and DH seems terrifying.

If she just wanted to pop by that would be fine but having her stay 24-7 with us for week(s) that early on seems too much!

I think I'll cross that bridge later on though. One battle at a time!

On names for us, the OH and I aren't married. We've been together nearly 20 years, so it basically feels like we are anyway, without the bit of legal paperwork (or the party!). For the bub, I would prefer his surname and am happy with that. Even though I'm the last of my surname (parents both now passed away and I'm an only child) it's a surname I'm happy not to pass on. It sounded too much like the name of the place I grew up as a child, so other kids would pick on me for it. I know it's ridiculous to still think of that as a grown-up, years later, especially as we now live nowhere near the area, but I much prefer the OH's surname for the bubs, so that's what we'll go with I think .

It's weird how childhood stuff sticks with you though! I guess I've still got subconscious stigma about my surname, which is silly!!

Can I ask a personal question... how are you's getting on with sex??🙈

Kiki I get that. I just asked one of my married friends who doesn't have her husbands surname what they will do. She said her DH is happy for the kids to take her name as he doesn't like his name and doesn't have any relationship with his father.

Shell still having sex, though a lot less of it than when we were TTC! We manage about once a week if I'm not feeling too poorly. After first falling pregnant though we didn't have sex for ages as I was sick all the time with MS and my boobs felt so uncomfortable I just wasn't up for it at all.

My sex drive though has definitely gone down. With the pelvic girdle pain, bloating and constipation I hardly feel sexy most of the time.

I asked DH if he was weirded out by the baby being so big now and probably able to hear us etc and apparently, it doesn't bother him at all

Shell hardly ever! What with trust and being tired ive not felt like it. It also kinda hurts now!!

Haha thrush not trust! Obviously I trust my partner!

This is going to sound a really daft question - is it possible for a 24w baby to move too much? I'm laid in bed and averaging 10 kicks every 2-3 mins, let alone in 2 hours and he's been doing this for nearly an hour now. I love feeling him love but I don't want him to hurt himself!

Snowflake mine is also really active in the evenings, seems to do 3 hours of somersaults every night! Usually gets going on the train home from work and gets more and more active until about midnight. Maybe a night owl, like his/ her mother...

I changed my name when I got married. My maiden name is hideous and a source of hilarity to most of my friends so I couldn't wait to change it. I do feel a bit sad that it will die out in my generation but it's probably a good thing. I can't tell you because it will out me but trust me it's bad! I actually still have the name on my passport because I was too lazy to change it and it's a pain going on holiday with dd. Last year my dh joined a different queue in passport control and I wasn't allowed through with dd without him because we had different surnames. Apparently that's still an issue in this day and age! I've taken my marriage certificate since then.
Shell we still are but not very often. That's mostly because of dd waking up early and being too tired in the evenings though. I think we stopped about 30 weeks last time because it just got awkward with the bump and it bothered dh when he could feel kicking while we dtd

Shell at the moment, hardly ever, thanks - like Sparkles - to thrush on my part and the poor bloke suffering with really bad piles (should be me, I hear, but it's struck him!). So bad he's got a hospital referral. So neither of us are feeling particularly sexy! But earlier (pre-12 weeks or so) on we were once maybe a week or two weeks, and I definitely noticed the typical increase in sex drive around week 13/14 or so.

We're just doing lots of cuddles and closeness at the moment, to make up for it!

We manage about once a week or once a fortnight depending on how tired I am in the evenings. DS has been waking up at 6 recently (used to be 7ish) and I'm knackered!

London I think in the Netherlands you can choose which parent's name the child takes (like you can over here) but I think it's still most common for children to have their father's surname. None of my cousins who have kids are married and all their kids have their dads' names, as did my brother and I. I think it's got something to do with cracking down on identity fraud, as my grandparents' generation did change their names on marriage. Marriage isn't a massive thing over there though, I don't have any married Dutch family.

We do try about once a week also.. felt sorry for DH and dtd tonight but then felt uncomfortable after it and abit sore. Then started to panic about bubba although I know she's all secure etc... yet again the mind goes overboard

Shell Feel really bad about this but I think we've managed twice since I found out I was pregnant! At first I was worried about it causing bleeding and now I find it uncomfortable and not much fun! I've never had the biggest drive though...

Baby is more active in the evening here too, usually just as I try to go to sleep he/she wakes up and has a little party. I love feeling it so much I then don't sleep for hours!
I did call midwife earlier because I haven't felt much/anything at all today; they didn't seem worried (still only 21 weeks) so I'm hoping it moves around soon.

Hi all, sorry to intrude it just feel like I need I space to overload. I will catch up with the posts I've missed tomorrow. I have had a difficult evening on the maternity assessment ward- everything's ok!

Was experiencing what I can only describe as aches in the vagina and the odd twinge- nothing really painful but rang midwife for a of reassurance and because I am under extra scans for cervical length they advised me to go in. 3 hours waiting with an impatient DH on the assessment ward the doctor does an internal and tells me everything is ok. As the midwife discharges me she shows me the notes they have made and said the doctor saw a 'cervical erosion' (she didn't mention this to me). The midwife reassured me it is common and nothing to worry about, it might mean I am prone to some spotting! Now I am worried. Need to get to sleep really as work tomorrow but it's hard to switch off. DH seems fine now! Has anybody got experience of cervical erosion? Thanks for listening.

Damn the alarm clock, I want more sleeeeeeeppp!

Sorry to hear that New, what a stressful night

Not had any experience of that. Have some twinges but I just figured that's probably normal with all the changes happening. Had some bleeding at almost exactly twelve weeks while we were on holiday (on our wedding anniversary morning, wonderful!) but when I called they just said that happens and nothing to worry about. Hopefully they are just being extra cautious.

Morning ladies

newmummy a cervical erosion is really really common. Nothing to worry about (I have been having cervical length scans as well due to 2 X LLETZ). Imagine it's like a small moist (I hate that word) graze on the outside of the cervix so if it gets knocked or anything it can bleed slightly. Like you would if you grazed your knee and knocked the scab off. Having sex can also cause a small amount of bleeding due to knocking the cervix. It's extremely common in pregnancy due to increased blood flow to the region and won't have anything to do with cervical length.

Anyone else really feeling the cold? I was all dressed up in two thick coats this morning and winter boots. In fairness though it was 7 degrees on the train platform at 6:30! My boss is laughing at me saying he wears lighter clothing for skiing...

oneroi - I'm the opposite at the moment - I have to keep my coat unzipped, and take my scarf off halfway to the station! I took the dog out at 5 this morning (I don't have to get up until 6:15 but she was adamant), and was waaaay too hot!

We haven't had sex for ages, thanks to morning sickness putting me off and then DH breaking his jaw/being ill for the last few weeks! I don't really like doing it while pregnant anyway.

I changed me name when we got married, never liked my maiden name or felt particularly tied to it and I like us all having the same surname.

I've woken up with a chesty cough

Oh same as you Fenella too hot rather than too cold, especially walking everywhere with DD!

Same here Fenella, I find it's really chilly when I leave the house but by the time I've waddled the mile to the station I'm roasting and stripping off all my layers on the platform. If it's my morning to do drop off I'm always a sweaty mess on the train (drop off is a 35 min round trip, and the nursery is at the top of a massive hill which is fun with a 15kg toddler in a pushchair and a laptop bag!). It's going to be hard work when I get bigger but at least it's keeping me in shape!

I'm actually working from home today as I've developed a niggle in my right hip/thigh in exactly the same place I had last pregnancy, which I thought was SPD but I saw an osteopath and she said it wasn't SPD and sorted it out completely! So I'm seeing someone this afternoon to hopefully nip it in the bud before it gets to the same stage as last time. If anyone is having aches and pains I highly recommend osteopathy in pregnancy, I also developed plantar fasciitis last time and she fixed that too!

Morning ladies! Over here, I vary between hot and cold so far. This morning I walked to the station and was fine, because I only had a denim jacket, but a few days back I walked there and was a sweaty mess waiting for the train!! I think it's because it was chilly this morning, so overall i was just right!

I'm off to my maternity unit's drop in SPD clinic over lunch. I described my aches since coming back from hols to my midwife and she recommended I go. So I get a preview of the birth centre because it's held in there.

I also think I'd like to try for the birth centre as my first choice baby-having venue, because the one at my local hospital (the Rosie in Cambridge) is only a few years old and looks beautiful. I know it's basically drug free, but the maternity ward is only on the next floor up if there's issues, so I wouldn't be a million miles from doctors if needed.

I can't believe I've reached the stage of thinking about that! Eeeep!

kiki the Rosie birth centre is meant to be great. Sadly I can't go there because of previous c-section so I'll be upstairs on the birthing unit, but apparently they have one pool on there too, which was refurbished earlier this year, and it's usually free as most people low risk enough to be in the pool are in the birth centre, so the midwife I spoke to for my VBAC appointment said I'd be a prime candidate for it.