Due February 2017 - Thread 8!

[DottyA]

Sorry all - I accidentally used the last message in thread 7. Hope you can find this one!

Thanks guys, you're all right, I'll see how it goes and contact the midwife if I get really worried. Scottish I hadn't concentrated enough to see if it was happening around movements/kicks, but I'll try and keep an eye on it - it might be him moving round and me getting panicked for nothing! I don't know, but I guess it might feel full - but not obvious - if he's facing away and kicking/wriggling toward my inside?

Just had a bath which has now made me super dozy! I am so tempted to go to bed with a book...!! The OH is just watching car shows on telly, so I'll see...!

I feel very full too kiki depending on where baby is hanging out. Sometimes it feels like she just wants out!

Found this for you too Shel of citizens advice! www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/discrimination-at-work/what-are-the-different-types-of-discrimination/pregnancy-and-maternity-discrimination-at-work/

Examples of unfavourable treatment

Situations where you may be able to complain about pregnancy and maternity discrimination include if:

you're suspended from work by your employer for health and safety reasons and don't receive full pay
you're dismissed because your employer says they can't afford to pay you statutory maternity pay
you can't go to a disciplinary meeting due to a pregnancy-related illness and your employer refuses to re-arrange the meeting
you're disciplined for having performance issues due to a pregnancy-related illness
your employer fails to carry out a health and safety risk assessment, forcing you to resign
your employer demotes or dismisses you, or stops you from having training or promotion opportunities, because you're pregnant or on maternity leave
your employer refuses to give you time off for antenatal care or to give you your normal pay when you attend antenatal appointments
you’re made redundant during your maternity leave and there isn't a genuine redundancy situation or you're selected because you're pregnant
you’re turned down for a job when the employer learns you’re pregnant.
More about situations when you may be able to complain about pregnancy and maternity discrimination.

You can ring maternity action for more support 0845 600 8533

Thanks London
Yes she said that he was quite towards the chubby side
Oh really?! So your bubba is like mine but you are lighter? Ok that makes me feel better
Shell that is pretty rubbish!! Dont you have an HR department with pregnancy policies?!
At work I have told them what I want/ can do at what I rather dont and so far so good.
Plus is you lose your voice that is it, pregnant or not!
Kikis not sure how much I can help, I sometimes have pains and panic and DH says that is my uterus stretching and that. It usually goes away after a bit
You are welcome gum I used it today when I boiled pasta and then potatoes for mash
I am not exercising much but I will try to eat better. It is starting to annoy me that my colleagues try to feed me extra and chocolates and all with the "you are eating for 2" crap

Yes ever. I'm 5ft9 and a size 10 and weigh 5 kilos less than before getting pregnant due to morning sickness and my baby is also chubby. At this stage its more about them than you.

Its only after 24 weeks that they really start to gain weight and their weight starts to be influenced by what you are eating. At the moment our babies weigh less than half a kilo.

Also, 6 kilos is actually pretty normal / healthy weight gain for 22 weeks. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing fine :)

I was a little worried about my inability to gain weight so I was quite pleased to hear my little girls is chubby (though still in a healthy /normal range of course)

Morning ladies! Thanks for your support! I'm at the docs just now as still have no voice and been awake since half 1! Struggling with the the sleep issues... don't know whether to go in today or just take the day off

shell That is really awful!

I think I've gained about 5-7lbs at this point, 24 weeks tomorrow! I'm not really tracking my weight, last time I didn't weigh myself at all until after DD was born and I actually weighed a bit less than when I conceived. DD came out looking like a little sumo wrestler but she was consistently on the 91st centile for the first year or so.

Hoping DH can come home today.

Hi everyone. Can I ask advise as I don't know where to turn? I'm still feeling really awful and I can't fully explain it just that I am really run down. I went into school yesterday and immediately knew I needed to go home as I felt terrible. I told my head and she seemed ok. I was honest with her and told her I was struggling a lot and that I felt ill and was exhausted. I honestly think full time teaching us too much for me and is making me ill. Last night I text my head (that is the accepted form of communication to let her know of illness) and said I probably won't be in the next day either. She didn't reply. I confirmed this morning and all she wrote was ' thanks for letting me know' I have been off sick once before and had written a really sympathetic reply saying ' poor you, rest up etc' I just feel so unbelievably awful. I'm so tired, feel so down and now I feel totally unsupported by my head. The school was really lovely and so we're all the staff but I just don't think I can do another half term! I've got the play to do and have been told I'll be doing assembly next half term and of course I'll be more pregnant. I just feel like curling up and crying. Sorry for the long essay but I don't have anywhere else to turn!!

SB that sounds really awful. As I'm self-employed I'm a bit out of the loop with employment law stuff, but my understanding is you're pretty well protected while pregnant (even if the head is being unpleasant). Are you in a union? Might be worth an informal chat just to see where you stand with time off. Could you look at getting signed off? I know you don't want to let people down but it doesn't sound like you're well enough to work right now.

SB In your situation I would get signed off. You need to look after yourself more than ever and teaching is stressful enough at the best of time.

sparkles i would definitely go and see if u can get signed off for abit!
I'm just back from the docs, signed off for a week... not allowed to speak lol. To go and get bloods taken to check my iron etc checked

Thanks everyone. I called the midwife who was really supportive and someone to actually speak to about how I'm feeling. She thinks it's low iron, exhaustion from going back to work full time, and antenatal depression. Depression runs in my family and I'm prone to it. Although I feel happy I think I am struggling having lost mum recently, being in a new area with not many friends etc. she's advised to get signed off and I think I'll go back to normal day to day supply. Then I can go to support groups and do nice things! Thanks and sorry for pouring my heart out! I just feel so lost!

Sparkles I was about to echo what others suggested but glad you've spoken to the midwife. It sounds like you've been through the mill in terms of personal stuff that's happened - I'm sorry to hear about your mum - and you definitely shouldn't underestimate the stress of grief and moving, and all of the changes that bubs will bring. ((hugs))

Take some time for yourself for sure and remember we're also all here to listen x

Sounds like the perfect plan Sparkles. I think once you're in control of your work day-to-day, things will feel much easier.

Thanks guys I can't tell how much your support has helped! I feel so guilty about leaving but have to put myself first. I left my teaching job this time last year due to stress and finding out we had to go through ivf to get pregnant. It has just been one thing after another and although I think I'm doing ok I crack under added pressure!

Sorry to hear your finding things hard at the moment SB. I know the psychological Improving Access to Psychological Therapy Services (IAPT) are geared up to help pregnant people all other the country and you will get put as priority patient/ top of waiting list with being preggers. It might be worth accessing a bit of extra support before bubba arrives. Obviously this might not be for you and I am sorry if I have spoken out of turn its just I know a lot of these services do really good work.

I have my 20 weeks scan tomorrow, so excited. I hope baby is behaving themselves so we can see the sex. My bump has definitely been growing over the last couple of weeks.

SB definitely sounds like you should get signed off and do supply work when you can. Do your midwives know about your history with depression. I believe they are able to offer extra support as well.

Newmummy so exciting! Good luck for your scan :)

Hi All,

Had a bit of a strange one yesterday. I got a text from the last remaining couple in the family who we haven't yet seen in order to tell them the gender of the baby. The text was to let us know that they would rather not know the gender of the baby.

This made me a bit and just feels a bit strange, but I don't quite know why?! I don't think it's really practical because although we don't see them very often, they do see some of the rest of the family very regularly who all know, so the chances of them getting round to February without someone mentioning it / saying she/her / showing off the pink thing they may have bought, seems very unlikely. And we are due to see them two or three times between now and then and we are getting very used to using she / her ourselves, and I don't want to have to watch what I say for the whole time!

Anybody had this or have any thoughts on what I should reply?!

Witch that's rather odd - surely it's up to you if you want to tell people? I'd reply 'ok but I'm afraid we can't promise it won't slip before baby arrives!'

Thank you so much to everyone who responded to my post. My supply agency were really supportive and said I had to put myself first etc. my contact is sorting things out with the head and I think I'm just doing a final week next week then going back to normal supply.
I'd like to build up a network of other mums before baby arrives so now I'll have time to go to coffee mornings etc.
newmmy not out of turn at all - that was really helpful. Thank you!

Sparkles so glad midwives and agency have been supportive - sounds like you're definitely doing the right thing. I moved in pregnancy last time so didn't know anyone and it was tough for the first few months before I made friends so getting to know people before the baby arrives sounds like a sensible step. Hope you feel better for making the decision.

I'm starting to think that I may also be suffering from pre-natal depression. I haven't been feeling right for about six weeks now, and my blood test came back normal so it's not anaemia or anything else they tested for. I'm feeling low and like I can't enjoy anything or look forward to seeing people, and it's like I'm struggling through a fog some days, although other days I feel almost normal. Is this how you feel? I didn't have this at all last pregnancy, but I don't feel like myself this time round.

Witch my mother in law has said the same thing- she doesn't want to know because she would like a surprise and that she is traditional! It annoyed me a bit really because as you said it's our baby and we are making the choices not her. A couple of weeks ago she said again- promise not to tell me!! I said I can promise I will try my best not to tell you but we might let it slip by accident (my husband definitely will) and does this mean we can't share the news with Nieces and nephews cos there only young and it's a lot to ask of them to keep it a secret!

Sorry to hear you finding things tough too twocats. It is such a hard time for us all with all the extra physical exertion on our bodies and hormonal changes it is bound to affect our mental health!

Two cats sorry you're also feeling this way! What are we like eh!? what is your work situation like? Could it be that? Do you have support? It could also be down to autumn suddenly appearing and days getting colder and darker. I'd speak to your midwife if I were you - mine was very helpful.
I can't say I feel 'depressed ' more that I'm just exhausted and can't do the things I want to do. I do feel like I'm in a fog when I'm teaching though. Talking to a councillor/therapist can help a lot as well. Maybe things we're repressing come to the surface in pregnancy. All the best and like everyone said before, this is a great support group xx

Witch one of the older receptionists at my work said the same thing! I found it odd but then she is the kind of person who walks to beat of her own drummer. I think SBS’s response is prefect.

Twocats sorry to hear you are struggling. I don't know much about antenatal depression but I hope your GP / midwife can refer you to someone who can help.

I'm having a dreadful time of work at the moment but only because I work with assholes... Can't really put it down to pregnancy as they have always been dreadful.

Thanks Sparkles and others, that's what I was thinking, I just wanted to check I wasn't completly missing the mark! Sounds like a sensible plan you have re: work, glad your agency was supported.

Twocats sounds very like how i've been feeling on and off for the past year, and I was diagnosed as having depression. Definitely worth speaking to your doctor / midwife about. One point that might help - my depression gets noticeably worse if I am vitamin D deficient, so it might be worth getting them to check your Vit D levels and consider taking a higher supplement, particularly as Sparkles said, they days are getting shorter and shorter.