Due in July - Part 3- we are a chatty loy...

[twoplusone]

Thought would start a new thread...

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Well done for standing up to your mother in law. I'm a fervent advocate in grandparents realising they've done their child raising and that you have to raise your own as you see fit.

Bravo!

Agnes

Typhoonsmum, Poor you. You are doing the right thing. It is important that your DD learns that "No" means "No" now rather than learning that lesson when the new baby arrives and associating life's limitations with the new baby. I think a lot of people introduce new, stricter regimes when a new baby arrives through necessity (everyone knackered and simply no time for endless negotiation with a tot). Perhaps you could point this out to your MIL so that she sees it and can begin to do her bit at her house. I think even very young children understand that although they can get away with blue murder in Grandma's house, they absolutely can not at home. And on balance, I think they prefer to have some firm rules, they feel more secure like that.

Not envying you at all Typhoonsmum - but sounds like you're doign the right thing. Got these joys to come I suppose...

Feeling very at the moment though as first purchase for LO arrived in the post today - a moses basket I bought off ebay. Can put it with the clothes we were given at the weekend - lots of tiny little socks, so cute! :O

Typhoonsmum,

I think you were absolutely right with DD, and you should have a word with MIL to explain that she didn't help the situation and made DDs tantrum worse, and shouldn't contradict what you have said.

I don't have problems with my inlaws as they respect the way we bring up our DD, but my mum does tend to do things like your MIL without thinking about the consequences. She looks after DD one day a week, and although we don't like DD to have much chocolate or treats, she secretly plies her with stuff (which we found out about and often tell her to limit it but not sure if she does). DD is NEVER sick, but was sick the other week (on my favourite and expensive rug) and afterwards I found a chocolate button on the floor! Talking to work colleagues, they also have the same problem with their parents.

But I firmly believe that her behaviour is much better when she has firm boundaries- sometimes I even expect melt-downs when I am strict, which don't actually happen which is great considering she's 2.4. Stick to your guns, especially with a baby on the way.

Evening all!

How you all doing tonight? I'm sorry to say that I'm glad that I'm not the only one having trouble sleeping....I haven't slept in 6 nights. 3am seems to be my time. Problem is I am having to resort to coffee in the morning to get me going and that makes me feel guilty!

Okay, question for you all. Being a first time Mum I am trying to be as prepared as I can be. I want to try and breastfeed so was looking at breast pumps. Now, do you think I should buy a breast pump prior to the birth or wait till after to see if I can actually breast feed? (sorry if thats a stupid quesion!)
Okay, stupid question no:2 Should I buy a starter kit for feeding bottles? Incase I can't breast feed?

We did the nursery over the weekend! yoohooo! looks adorable! I am so pleased with it...the room is tiny but then the baby won't be needing to run around (just yet!) so should be okay

Hope you are all feeling well. I am considering sleeping in the spare room tonight to see if that works! Also have a real pain in my right butt cheek going down my leg! Hey ho!

Night night all, hope you get some rest.

Good on you Typhoonsmum!

Myfairone. If I remember correctly, love them or hate them, the Bounty type bags you get near the birth come with the odd Avent bottle. Think their reasoning is if you are breastfeeding then you need 'apparatus to deliver the milk'. They do provide a 'how to breastfeed' dvd too although I haven't watched it.

Difficult question though about what stuff you need. The breast pumps come with one or two bottles too. You then need to decide on how to sterilise them.....At least if breastfeeding doesn't work out you could at least express, and pumps are always useful if you need to be away for a couple of hours....

Saw my midwife today. She really does not inspire confidence! In the course of the same conversation, she said, "hmm, not sure that there is enough fluid around this baby" and "there appears to be plenty of fluid" - well, either there is or there isn't lady, make your mind up!! . I'm so glad I'm not a first-time mum, she would really put the wind up me. The only things I take notice of is my BP, hearing the heartbeat, urine results and bump measurement (the latter I take with a pinch of salt). If I had any concerns then I would see my GP not her!

And she didn't ring me - again - I had to ring her - at which point she said "oh I was going to ring you today" - er yes that's what you said last time, and the time before ... grrr.

Anyhoo, all appears to be fine except she couldn't hear the heartbeat (not worried about that, the baby was kicking hard at the time!) and I have a urine infection which I was totally unaware of! Argh.

Typhoonsmum, good for you for standing your ground!!

Myfairone - by all means get bottles and pumps etc before the birth if you want to do so - it will give you peace of mind if nothing else. Just a note of caution though - if you get off to a good start with breastfeeding, it's advisable not to introduce a bottle for the first few weeks as it can cause "nipple confusion" - ie the baby will prefer to suck from a bottle because it's easier therefore may refuse breastfeeds in favour of a bottle. However after 4-6 weeks, when they get past that sleep/feed/sleep stage, then you can introduce a bottle without causing this problem (in theory anyway!!)

Hi All,

Sounds like there's been a variety of fun weekends.
I spent mine at my nieces christening. It was a great day and she was a total star and didn't cry once. It was a great insight into what I've got to come as there will be a year difference between my LO and her. In fact LO is due the same day she was, though she was late.
My Dad was busy taking lots of pictures of her sat on my bump, and her future cousin must have wondered why it was getting kicked back for a change.

Typhoonsmum - I think you did the right thing too. MIL was wrong to overule you, and DD has to learn that you mean what you say, and that tantrums don't work.

justbeme - I had a really good look at the loola pram, I love the fact it folds up umbrella style so would fit in the car, it also looks really nice. But it seemed really tall to me and bulky when opened out, blokey and I are both 5'5" so a lower pram seems right for us. Also the basket underneath is totally pointless, the cross bars over the top make it nigh on impossible to get anything in there. It's quite heavy too and people have said it's awkward if you've got to get it up and down steps or on public transport.
One assistant told us it was great and she would pick it over any other pram, then another assistant asked us what types of places we would be using it in, we said round parks, canal towpaths, certainly not shopping centres and the assistant said the Loola wouldn't stand up to it.
So we've decided against the Loola and at the moment are thinking of the Mothercare Maui, even though we'll have to take the big wheels off it to get it in the boot of the car.
Unless anyone has any other suggestions for travel system prams that fit easily in little cars?

My fairone.

I tried breastfeeding DD. I found it very demanding so got a breast pump so DP could take over. It became a life saver when I got mastitis and it became TOO painful for DD to feed straight from me. Expressing milk didn't hurt nearly as much and she got all the best stuff. As she wasn't feeding from me the milk did start to dry up so I had to put her back on. This brought the mastitis backso I went back to the pump and when it dried up switched to bottles.
although she only got about two weeks of breastmilk she didn't seem to get as sick as my sister baby did who was fed bottles from day one.

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Thanks Bilblio - its a minefield this buggy lark isnt it??
Ive been told the mothercare Miau is the same as the Hauck Infinity (see Kiddicare website) - This was my 2nd choice, but as I have a small car boot Ive decided that i THINK im looking for more of an umbrella fold type thing. But i really wanted a rear facing pram and not many of these are umbrellas! Aggghh.

On pushchairs/travelsystems. I have a Britax Trekker (a three wheeler travel system) which is absolutely brilliant. However, it is quite bulky even when folded, so a cavernous boot is required. We have had to get a new 7 seater car (baby no. 4 on the way!) and the boot space remaining is incy wincy so have splashed out on a Quinny which is wonderfully compact. My 17 month old is not yet walking (she is soooo lazy) and I am banking on her doing so (with a buggy board for lazy moments) before the new baby arrives in July - I really don't want a double buggy as it is such an enormous expense for something of very temporary use whereas the singlton pushchair will be of use for a couple of years, at least. If she still refuses to walk when the new baby comes I will scream! lol

I meant to ask, how often should one have midwife appts? I have had 12 week booking appt at the hospital, a private nuchal & CVS, a 20 week anomaly scan but otherwise have heard from noone. I have not even met the community midwife yet.

Caroline,

I am going through the same dilemmas as you regarding double-buggies. My DD is 2.4 and although she's been walking since 10 months, I would not want her/expect her to have to walk long distances even now, and I've heard that buggy boards are hassle on curbs and not good for your back (as you have to lean over them).

My plan is to either get a second-hand double-buggy on the cheap, or else try and make do.

A colleague used to take the baby out in the buggy with her toddler walking, and then when said toddler got tired/fed up, put them in the buggy and moved baby into a sling. You could consider this? We also have a stroller so can take both kids out in buggies if there are 2 of us.

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Caroline,

I should add that I would have expected your community midwife to have been in touch, and I would chase this up through your GPs.

You should have been offered the option of the triple blood test at 16 weeks, and blood tests around 28 weeks to check for anaemia and anti-bodies or something.

My midwife wanted to see my just after my 20 week scan, then every month or so, and I expect this to go down to every 2 weeks in a while. It is important to get your blood pressure and urine checked, and its also nice to hear baby's heart-beat. The midwife will also check position of the baby, which is critical nearer to delivery in case baby is breech. They also book you in for NHS ante-natal classes, a tour of the hospital etc so if you want to do these, you need to see them.

Caroline,

Also if you are working, you need a MATB1 form from your doctor/midwife which you need to send to your employer at around 25-26 weeks to confirm your pregnancy and plans for maternity leave.

pulapula + firstar - thanks for advice re midwife appts and also your thoughts on transit options for lazy tots. There is also a thing called a pod - anyone ever heard of it? A seat that bolts onto single main buggy and folds when not in use. I will most likely end up getting all these things (pod, buggy board, sling, back pack) and then end up getting a double buggy because madam still refuses to walk. Ahhhhh.

Glad to hear that scans are going well and that on the whole we are all doing okay.

My midwife appts are something like this:
20 week scan and midwife appt, 26 week, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38 and then 40 week.

As for prams and travel systems, I am so clueless! I really need to do some reading.

Hope all are well today.

Big hugs

Oh - also meant to add - as I am hoping to deliver at the midwife-led unit at the local hospital, my midwife has said she will book me in for another scan at 36 weeks to check position of the baby and the placenta - but that even if the baby was breech at this stage they would just continue regular scanning rather than assume I needed to be at the city hospital (which would entail going to stay in Inverness until I went into labour as I live about 3.5 hours drive away and dh doesn't drive, and last labour was four hours!). So that was reassuring anyway

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