Due in February 2017...thread #3!

[SkyLucy]

A home for all of us enjoying the surreality of the first trimester. We're sick as dogs, exhausted to the core, our boobs hurt, we've developed superhuman senses of smell and we're shirking all alcoholic bevvies with a variety of lame excuses...

...we're preggers and over the moon! Join us if you're due in February 2017 and fancy wisdom for the weirdness, support for any sadness, and a safe place where you can get excited about what the future holds, before you go public!

Third thread already (we're a chatty bunch!) Second thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2662110-Due-in-February-2017-thread-2?

We found out I was pregnant on the Saturday, and by the Monday I had my spreadsheets done on income during the three phases of mat leave (my package is 6 weeks 90% then down to stat, plus DH is taking off three months as shared parental leave which means I can go back after 6/7 months) We can just about do it but it's going to take some intensive savings over the next seven months.

Look on FB for local selling groups, there's always tons of baby stuff on mine. Also, start saving things like club card points. But yeah, the salary drop is going to hit us. I'm in two minds to look for another job as my commute is 2 hours and costs me almost £250 a month in petrol. Sure I could be earning more closer to home.

Jesus! £1450 a month! Where do you live Ready????

Spin sorry to hear that bad nurse
Ready I dont earn enough to cover that much childcare so cheaper for me not to work and do the childcare myself. How depressing is that (the cost vs my salary, not the taking care of my own child)
It is so ridiculous how expensive it is, it can't be the same in other countries.
Phoebe I am with you on commute time and cost. 250 on trains at least every month and 4 hours a day. However my maternity package is good. 4 months full salary then stat, therefore I am staying where I am and I probably will go back after maternity leave just for a bit and then be stay at home mum (if I dont go back I have to give back the money from maternity leave)
But almost 1000 a month plus 250 on train that would mean I am left with very little earnings and 4 hours commute so defo not for the long term

Phoebe where I leave it is 850 a month but because I work far I would have to pay extra for late picking up so probably 1000 a month
Dear lord

Live not leave

I'm just outside London Pheobe, Surrey/Middlx border. My nursery is full service 7am-6.30pm so that bumps up the cost a bit, but DH had a long commute so I do both pick & drop hence I need those hours.

There is no way I could be a ft mum, and pt isn't an option in my line of work so just have to suck up the cost for a few years! Fingers crossed one of the enhanced govt childcare schemes actually gets implemented next year (both the 30 hrs for 3yo & £2k tax free would make a big difference, but not sure the govt can afford to do either :-()

Yeah I'm not looking forward to that its prob going to be £1000 a month for me! Desperately trying to think of ways round it. No family near but I can do flexible working, thinking of doing compressed or very early hours. I don't understand how people afford it! Plus got to do the house up and husband need to learn to drive and we need to buy a car!!!

ever I'm the same as you, I do not earn enough to cover childcare, the current plan is for me to go back 2/3 days a week and rely on dh and dm to cover me

Dreaming sounds like a good plan. Part time wont work for me as the train is 250 for the month regardless of how much I travel and I would earn half... So not an option
Maybe in a couple of years I find a job closer to home

I just can't think of how people manage!!!!!!!!

OH has two jobs so he wont be able to help much

It's just so hard isn't it?
I know I'm extremely lucky, my job will prob always include Saturday's so my dh can look after baby then and my dm 1 day maybe dmil 1 other day.
I just would never be able to afford childcare, well without giving them 95% of my wages and just what's the point then.
We will struggle I'm sure, I see my friends, some who are stahm and some went back ft and they all struggle for different reasons.

Yes to second hand things- I wanted a ridiculously priced pram last time and managed to get it for £250 less than RRP only having been used for a month with unregistered warranty! It was still expensive, but justifiable for the price and we will use it again. There are so many things I've since lent to friends and will be reusing it's worth asking friends with older babies if they want to offload some stuff on you- I lent out the play mat, bouncy chair, etc. Not hugely expensive things, but they add up.

Also, baby clothes are barely worn in the beginning, sizes up to 6 months will hardly have any wear and second hand can be great. Check fb selling groups and nct nearly new sales!

Oh, and I was in the camp of not earning enough to make childcare, dog walker, and travel worth the expense, so I resigned from my FT job and have kept my zero hour weekends and school holidays job, so I'm basically a SAHM who works 5 days a month or so. It's not ideal, and we could use some extra income, but my field is really low paid and after all the expenses it wouldn't be worth doing, but the zero hours contract allows me to maintain constant employment so I have no gaps in my cv for when it becomes worthwhile to work more again.

Wispa that is a good point. Because there is a chance I could do two or one weekends a month instead of full time, so maybe worth considering after coming back from maternity leave

A lot of people in my team do compressed hours so I'm hoping to be able to do that and drop a day, and hoping DH can do the same (he finishes at 12 on a Friday so will only be compressing three hours) and bubs will do three full days in nursery. No family nearby so lots of flexibility needed. Wow. Just so much to have to think about isn't there??

ready is it the financial side of being a sahm that puts you off or that its not for you? My sister works ft and has two children, she says she couldn't be a sahm and I know and can understand her reasons.

I was a chef up until around 30 weeks pregnant with my first. Got made redundant which was awful at the time but now I'm glad. I couldn't do the job I was doing with young children. Hours could be ridiculous like 10am until 11pm so I'd never see my kids. My husband has a pretty decent wage so we can afford for me to stay home with the kids. I understand its quite a lot of pressure for him though so I do pretty much all the housework, cooking etc, it just works for us. We are by no means loaded but we don't go without, we have to keep on top of the finances though. I will go back to work part time once our youngest starts school. We live in the north west and things seem to be quite cheap here compared to some places.

Sorry that all my posts are so long BTW lol, don't get on here as much as I'd like so tend to go on when I do haha! X

Phoebe indeed
And it is hard because being only 7+4 is really early days
I am a bit worried about the stories I have heard of people going for their 12 weeks scan and... You know the rest.
Can I allow myself to think that that is very rare and I will be fine?
What are you ladies thinking?
OH says we mustn't count our chickens before then
But it is hard!

Theresa I think I will do like you. I would like to work but I also think that staying at home would be better for me and as you say I would take of house and kids and OH will work two jobs. But his commute is 5 minutes literally and the house we live in comes with his job.

My commute is 4 hours and I work educating children. I might as well educate my own It is an exhausting job and it just makes more sense that I stay at home.

I hopefully will be good at it too, since I am supposed to be "an expert" on how children learn (do they? ) so hoping I can use my skills on my bean

Back to post above I meant Phoebe indeed lots of things to pan for future but weird as really far away bow

Now

Ever - the possibility of the 12 week scan not going well is all consuming for me right now. I'm trying not to think about it too much but, yeah, I totally get where you're coming from.

Statistically, my chances of success are 98% but someone has to be in that 2% don't they. Gah! Only a week and a half to go!

Phoebe how do we stay distracted for 5 weeks?

Ah! Only a week and a half for you!!!! I have 5

I genuinely don't know. Like, I want to distract myself by looking online but then I start googling prams and cots and then have to tell myself off! I'd normally 'throw myself into work' but I just can't get my head into anything (thankfully my boss knows I'm duffed now) I'd love to sink a bottle of wine to take my mind off stuff and relax but even if I wanted to, the thought of it makes me wanna puke!

So I'll just whinge on here instead, sorry guys!

Theresa, it's not about the money for me. Even if I just 'broke even' I'd still choose to work, I love spending time with DS but just couldn't do it 24/7. I need my personal space & I love working. For me, I need the balance. I didn't even enjoy my 6mth mat leave last time, hoping it'll be slightly more fun with DS around a bit but I know I'll be chomping at the bit to go back to work again.