We're multitasking by crocheting and blood testing our way through pregnancy. We are waiting for our clutch of Christmas babies to hatch while our newbies are gearing up for scans, it's JS Grads 42!

[Hobbit19]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 41st grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The 41sr grads thread is HERE

The thread we have graduated from is HERE in its 55th outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread HERE
for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

HERE is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates. (Except it's not because I don't know how to link to the stats sheet!)

am i too much of a prude?? man this is deep thinking stuff for me lol! so u just kind of let it all go and then just clean up??

i think i need a lie down

Ha ha ha ha! Jelly, whatever you are comfortable with is totally fine!

Gouda I'm 26 weeks...and I think Pud might be right, it might just be a growth spurt mind you, if I eat much more it'll be my growth spurting, not the baby

Jelly, Jelly, Jelly stop with the condom/hand job combination (just to save money if nothing else). Do for tissues or stop it with your hand and then clean up.

I've just eaten the bourbons

I want bourbons now.

I'll inform DP of this new found revellation. He'll be happy. So will my fanjo.

It's a lot less messy than condom-less sex Jelly - some fancy lube and a couple of tissues and you can sign off bonking duty until JellyBaby is born!

This is appealing to me so much, it's not that I don't like sex, it's just that it's such a faff when it takes 3 time's to roll over lol. Makes me feel so sexy

Wow at this rate we could be taken for proper JS'ers again lol!

Thank you everyone.

Lol at the hj talk. Totally go with tissues, DH used to hold the tissues for me as he could judge better when they were needed.

So I had a wipe of lightish brown cm this morning, tell me it's normal after an internal ultrasound?!? Told DH as didn't want to not tell him and something happen but now he is worrying.

Jelly - !! I should perhaps add that it is probably best if you have a mattress protector underneath the fitted sheet. If you aren't as classy as feathered you can just use spit. Works just as well. So I hear. From other people.....er..

Remember: The MOST important thing is that he is on HIS SIDE OF THE BED when this is occurring. That way any damp patches are his cross to bear. I do know what you mean about the sex though - it's getting to the stage where it's just...logistically difficult, no matter how randy you are!

yorkshire / jelly - Actually I find the cervix checks really reassuring! They don't hurt at all - it's nothing like a smear test with the clamps or anything. They just shove a couple of fingers in and have a quick feel.

Over here everyone gets a cervix check at each appointment when you start midwife led care at the hospital (6 months onwards). Before then your care is gynaecologist led. But since mini cheese is so low, they've had to do vaginal scans in addition to the normal belly ones at each appointment, so have basically had constant updates on my cervix throughout the whole thing!

If he's lying in his back it lands on his belly...

Oh, I had a really awkward moment with a different midwife recently as well. I was trying to explain I was worried about the amount of pressure from the babies head, and whether it was normal. The example I used to try and explain what I meant was that when on the loo it often felt like his head was just going to pop out, even though I know it obviously doesn't work like that. I did try and stress quite strongly that this was just how it felt, not my actual concern.

What she seemed to hear was a complete fucking muppet asking her if their baby was just going to fall into the toilet whilst they were having a wee.

She actually looked at me and said "don't worry, you won't just give birth like that without having any contractions beforehand".

I haven't felt like someone had so obviously insulted my intelligence in quite a long time!

Well, this is entertaining. If you read back, it actually starts with Pud suggest that Jelly let her father sort himself out. I do certainly agree she shouldn't help him, but I am not sure it's a conversation I would want to have with my Dad either way.

I rarely "finish" a hand job. It ends up leading to other things. But I do agree with Thursday that the best strategy is to have him lie down and make a mess on himself.

And wet patches are easily avoided by a couple of designated "sex towels". Obvs. Our mattress was too expensive to dribble cum all over it.

A stranger commented on my bump today. Politely, but I was still surprised. Guess it's obvs now.

I don't like iron tablets. Joining Pretzel on #poowatch2015

yay for bump comments honey :) although boo for poowatch :( i had a proper straining poo today, took ages for the tiniest little plop. Most disappointing!!

i feel like i've learnt something valuable today. DP is going to love you ladies, he's always pestering me and i'm always telling him to go buy condoms

gouda that's interesting about your care in france. I'm so not looking forward to my first ever internal :( i also threw up with nerves when I had the dildo cam at 6 weeks, but she didn't actually look up there.

ill not sure about how normal spotting is after dildo cam, maybe speak to your MW if you are concerned?

I'm so bored at work today.

....an if he's on top of you, it lands on your face!

oh this was just what i needed to cheer me up after spending the last couple of hours in a meeting trying to rate/rank colleagues for annual performance management!!!!!!
i second on his back, his dirty pants sex towels for clean up, or pop it in your mouth for the finale!

tea I think I might beat you, you know... porridge, a flapjack, chicken salad, 2x clementines, a blueberry muffin, a hot chocolate and an apple! Still dinner to go ...i cant eat too much in one go, but I can graze for Britain!!

jelly - oh gosh, is there any specific reason why you are so nervous about the internals? I don't know about the UK, but over here they don't actually "look" inside or anything? They just push with their fingers - the midwife checking today was actually looking out the window whilst doing mine! It took all of about five seconds.

I actually found the dildo cams to be MUCH more uncomfortable than the cervix checks, so if you got through that okay then you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

feathered - On TOP? Maybe pre pregnancy days, but I can't see that working very well at the moment!! !!!

Lil brown discharge isn't anything to worry about but no one would blame you if you give the midwife a ring.

Omg nearly started laughing on the train. People on laptops doing work around me and I'm reading this If you press the manjo against their belly it just all spills on there. Then use whatever you normally do to wipe it up.

Well I only eat once a day. I start in the morning and finish before bedtime.

Also congrats on bean with hb Ill, I'm sure tiny brown blob is nothing to worry about. Easier said than done though!

Just popping in to catch up after my weekend away. I see I missed sex ed class! You could always get him to aim for your tits, jizz is probably good for the stretch marks .
Ill I had a bit of spotting after my 8 week check. That was dildo cam and a smear test.

Carrot I like your one-meal-a-day approach.

Fruit I was going to suggest the money shot but thought it'd lower the tone. However, now you've lowered the tone...Jelly get him to aim for your belly button - it'll be an ever decreasing target as the weeks go by

Ha ha Carrot I read your post as 'press the mango against his belly' and wondered why I had never heard it called that before! The Fred has given a right chuckle today, well done Ladies

definitely get him to be on back. It sort of pools in his belly button if you get the angle right. Mess problem solved (for you anyway!) God I miss that sort of thing. DH (dickhead) and I were still doing stuff before he left. Further mind fuckery there....

So just in from scan. Baby is big (7.6 pounds at 37 weeks) but not so alarmingly so that they want to repeat gtt. Good levels of fluid etc so c section is go for 40 weeks. If I end up having it on Christmas Day I'm going to lose my shit. Mainly because a hospital Christmas dinner can in no way compare to my mums!

Haha JS sex ed! I'm glad my naivity has amused you ladies! tea my belly button is currently flush with my belly but does occasionally stick out when I'm full so I think that ship has sailed haha!

I might read some of these to DP tonight for a giggle.

molly glad baby isn't ginormous. I hope you avoid a Christmas day section!

gouda no idea why internals give me the sweats. I was secretly glad I didn't have my first smear because of getting upduffed. I'm even a bit prudish about DP looking down below. God childbirth is going to be torture!!

jc has been quiet, hope she's ok (or doing a baby!!)

Yay for good scan news ill!

Ugh sorry for the bad sleep honey and jelly. My hips and back are so achy now.

Exciting that you don't have long until mat leave jelly! I am finishing my volunteering job on the 17th.

feathered Aw it must be such a mixed up feeling.

Re: sex. I'm still a born again virgin. Thanks heavens for the miracle of masturbation or I'd be climbing the walls.

molly Glad the scan went well! I chatted to a lady in the waiting room last week who'd been asked to start monitoring her blood sugars at 38 weeks which just seems pointless and annoying.

at your suggestion DP has a posh wank jelly!

Cervix checks sound helpful gouda. Also it means you're not dealing with the idea of being fingered by a midwife for the first time when you're in labour!

Welcome to #poowatch2015 honey hangs ceremonial toilet seat round your neck may the odds be ever in your favour!

Have you lot never heard of a posh wank? Wank + condom. But yes a fuckload of tissues is enough.

If I stand up straight I can't see my feet anymore

I said posh wank country! I also can't see my feet.