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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Due May 2007 - Thread for week commencing 11/12/06

281 replies

Juicythe2ndnotsowiseman · 11/12/2006 10:46

Hi Girls,

Back from Geordieland!

Glad to hear you're having a fab time with your DH LG&T. Assume the ball was fabulous too and the champers flowed.

MKG - Got the nose bleeds too, but only intermitently. Thank Goodness.

Bethnalhembub - my 20wk scan is on the 16th too. Is your's at the Royal too?? Mine is 9am.

Got my mw appt today. Hoping she listens to heartbeat. Am getting anxious as little weight gain and it's too early for me to feel movement as this is my first, so convinced all is not well - pure pg-panic mode.

Pebble - sorry your DH is being a bit of a tw*t. Sounds like he needs to grow up a bit and make some grown up choices. He needs to put you and the kids first and give his mum a good talking too. She's only bluffing with the ultimatum. If he tells her how it's going to be she won't risk loosing him. MIL's - ARRRGGGHHH

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
TwinkleTwinkleLupinsXmasLights · 16/12/2006 18:17

should add if i do have another one, im scared stiff of epidurals so I will be asleep as I was with dd, hopefully thats not going to affect there decision if I chose to have one

MKGnearlyimmaculateconception · 16/12/2006 18:27

I am scared of epidurals too. A friend of mine had one and she leaked spinal fluid and was in the emergency room 2 days of coming home from her C-section. If I have an C-section I want to be out. Besides the idea of being awake while someone is cutting me open is just weird. It's seems like something out of a horror movie.

katybumps · 16/12/2006 18:28

had both an emergency and a planned section and can honestly say imo if you voice your concerns and stand your ground you will get what you want and it can still be as amazing as a natural birth , you have just got to be open minded and take all the help you can get afterwards to help you recover and bond with your new baby . sorry just feel quite strongly about it , i let the midwives and consultants push me around a bit first time {so to speak} as i was totally unprepared but last time and this time i knew/know what i want.it matters alot because the birth of your children is something that stays with you forever.

sorry il shut up now

LetitShnowLetitShnowLetitShnow · 16/12/2006 19:06

Good evening all. How's things with all you pregnant ladies?

Welcome lucy, good to see you on this thread. I saw you on the first one you started and wondered if you'd end up with all us other May 07ers. I think it's some kind of swirling vortex- unavoidable and a voyage into the unknown, but somehow you get sucked in. It's the getting out that's the problem- I'm going to get the sack if I don't get on with work and stop MNing! I'm a first time Mum too- there are a few of us on here. I will warn you that I have to ignore you from this point onwards what with you being from Suffolk. I'm from Norfolk so I think we're supposed to be mortal enemies.

Had a great day today, albeit with a bumpy start. DH woke up crying. Cue conversation a bit like this:

Me: What on earth is wrong?
DH: It's the baby
Me: What?
DH: You had the baby and it had something wrong with its brain
Me: No I didn't, it's still there, kicking like mad
DH: No, no you were in the pub giving birth and...

Yes you guessed, nightmares surrounding birth. At least I know he's worrying about it. When I'm not dreaming of Daniel Craig I have all sorts of nightmares about the baby and birth, but DH never has.

Had a great day. DH took me into town (please read as made me walk three miles into town!) without telling me where we were going. He took me to a medieval Christmas market in a C15th hall in the old part of Norwich. It was fab- people in medieval dress selling punch, armour, jewellery, fabric, wooden traditional toys, tankards etc etc. Had such a good time and DH bought me some modelling clay after seeing me furtively eyeing it. I think it's a left over obsession with plasticine manifesting itself! On the long trek home we wandered round Mamas and Papas and exclaimed lots at the prices! Had a late lunch- home made pizza, jacket potatoes, corn on the cob, salad, garlic bread etc etc, I fell asleep on the sofa and he woke me to say he was going to work.

So I've roused myself, eaten some breadsticks, turned on the X Factor and come to say hi to you lovely ladies.

Happy weekends all!

SnowyMeadow · 16/12/2006 19:44

Hello there. Sorry have been missing for a few days. Been manic at work, and knackered by the evening.

Hvae just managed to catch up - welcome to lucy. Got my scan on Friday at 3.10pm. I hope that they can tell us the flavour. Please can i msn one of you ladies and tell you the news. My best friend is a regular on MN and i have told everyone that i am not telling them and going to keep it a secret. Obviously i will burst and need to tell someone. Perhaps if i tell you that i am having a cat that could mean a girl and fish could be a boy..... what do you think?

Wore my dress yesterday to my friends wedding. It was a gorgeous day and the bride looked stunning. I looked rather large, but did have many comments on my dress. If anyone needs to borrow a long (floor length) black dress then you are more than welcome to borrow this - its machine washable!. Size 10 (stretchy) maternity dress. Its strapless but does come with thin detachable straps. It came just above the floor when wearing heels. I am 5ft 6".

Have been working out that if i take all my annual leave at the beginning of the mat leave then i only have 52 working days left (leaving on 23rd March) WOOHOO!

Hope you are all well xxx

SnowyMeadow · 16/12/2006 19:49

OMG!!!!!! Take That are on the X Factor!!! think i am going to wet myself!!!

TwinkleTwinkleLupinsXmasLights · 16/12/2006 20:01

how many votes will that win her - I am just jealous lol

omg you can tell why this lot dint get through

MKGnearlyimmaculateconception · 16/12/2006 20:15

So jealous Snowy Meadow. I have my scan on January 10th at 12:45 and I am counting down. Only 3 weeks, 3 days, 21 hours and 30 minutes to go.

Can you tell I'm excited?

lildrummerKel · 16/12/2006 21:28

Thx for all your words of support re the birth question. In my mind, it was a horrific experience. I really hope & pray that the rest of you have the kind of easy miracle that it could be!!!

Now. More important things. Xfactor is making my heart race. Is this bad for the baby?!?

for all your scans...mine on 19 Jan is like a year away. And technically, it kindof is!!!

Oh and SnowyMeadow, you can MSN me if you feel the urge to tell! Can I divulge on your behalf?

lildrummerKel · 17/12/2006 09:18

Question - anyone know if your EDD is the beginning of week 40, or the end??

I'm trying to figure out if I'll be covered for pg-related medical problems while we're in the US in early March visiting my parents. Travel insurance only covers up to week 28 and I think there are a few days past that when we'll be away. Don't know what I'll do if my calculations are right. Can't find any travel insurance that will cover a pg woman for beyond 28 weeks, and medical visits in the US (or god forbid, actual birthing) are very expensive if you've no insurance!!!

largevirginbirthandtonic · 17/12/2006 11:14

Your due date lilkel is bang on 40 weeks. I have never travelled beyond 28 weeks so dont know what to suggest. How is the shrug hunt going?

Ive been manic email sending, when i moved in july this year i knew where all my friends lived but didnt actually know their addresses! Cue xmas card nightmare...!

The KK's are still going...

Welcome newbie lucy, ask away on here about anything, some of us are first timers and some old hat.....im a first timer...snort...chuckle....heee heeee!!!!!

LetitShnowLetitShnowLetitShnow · 17/12/2006 11:21

LVB&T actually is a virgin folks!

largevirginbirthandtonic · 17/12/2006 11:30

Its true, this one was an immaculate conception....!

LetitShnowLetitShnowLetitShnow · 17/12/2006 11:35

(I think we got away with it, nobody's noticed the veritable brood of children hiding behind your back)

largevirginbirthandtonic · 17/12/2006 11:37

What children????? Letitshnow....are you trying to pass your brood off as mine again...

LetitShnowLetitShnowLetitShnow · 17/12/2006 11:42

Oh oh my mistake, it was erm a er...

...Oh your television's on behind you and Darling Buds of May repeats must have been playing because of course it's Pa and Ma Larkin who have all those children isn't it... got a bit confused sorry.

largevirginbirthandtonic · 17/12/2006 11:46

Dishy Dh reading our banter.....!!!

We have been playing chess all week actually...

lildrummerKel · 17/12/2006 12:13

oh you guys. as if we'd really fall for you trying to pass of all your kids as Larkin sprog. Ha ha ha

I used to love that show though. Maybe it's subconsciously got into my head and that's why I suddenly now want a huge car, you know, just in case we have a 3rd after this one, or a 4th, or....OMG.... the full football side

NO SHRUG YET! Only sparkly ones, or cardis masquerading as shrugs when they've no right to be advertised as such. Grrrr. Contemplating hacking up jumper and trying to make one, but really, I'd just look like a barricade extra from Les Mis, I'm sure of it!

LetitShnowLetitShnowLetitShnow · 17/12/2006 12:20

(atrociously out of tune)

Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?

Nowt wrong with looking like a Les Mis extra but I can understand that if it's not a fancy dress look you're after, you might want to steer clear!

I have Darling Buds of May on DVD- free out of a newspaper eons ago. I have to admit LVB&T I alway think of the Larkins when I read your posts!

CreenaberrySauce · 17/12/2006 12:46

Hello everyone. Haven't been able to catch up with the thread yet, so apologies for not acknowledging what you've all been up to this week. I've had a dreadfully shit week at work this week - I think I need to get some good legal advice from somewhere.

Does anyone know of any good sources of info regarding employment law, perhaps relating specifically to pregnancy/maternity leave?

In a nutshell, I was signed off work for a while by my GP because I was having severe morning sickness and, at one stage, it looked like I was going to miscarry. When I returned to work, I was told that my pay would be stopped for the next couple of months because the organisation I work for only pays statutory sick pay and not basic pay when staff are off sick. SSP is in the region of about £60 a week, I think. As I was paid my full, basic salary while I was signed off, they would be reclaiming this by stopping my pay now. I pointed out that they couldn't do this because my sick leave was pregnancy related and the organisation's maternity leave policy states (under a section headed 'sickness absence during or following pregnancy');

"any pregnancy related absences will not count towards reduced sick pay calculations or sick absence warning trigger points and shall be recorded seperately"

To me, this clearly states that pregnancy related sick absences are distinct and seperate from normal sick absence procedures and, most importantly, does not count towards reduced sick pay calculations.

I was then told that "we need some time to check this out" and was subsequently informed that "this paragraph is contradictory and open to misunderstanding - we're going back to our legal advisors to check it out and possibly revise it to make it clear."

I'm furious. I think it's crystal clear and have asked them to explain why they think it's in any way ambiguous (they haven't as yet). I'm also doubtful that they can change the policy to make it fit around not having to pay me my salary and then apply it retrospectively - surely they can only apply policy as it stood at the time when I was signed off?

It doesn't help that this organisation is a non departmental public body created only a matter of months ago and mainly staffed by civil servants on secondment - it doesn't know it's arse from it's elbow, unfortunately.

As I'm pretty stressed out and worried by the prospect of not being paid for the next couple of months, not being able to pay the mortgage, not being able to buy presents/food etc over the Christmas period, not being able to provide for my children and not being able to prepare for the new baby on the way, I need to get myself some good legal advice. What's the best way to track down such advice?

Finally - sorry for going on and on and on. This has really been playing on my mind this week.

MKGnearlyimmaculateconception · 17/12/2006 14:59

OH Creena I don't know what to say.

LetitShnowLetitShnowLetitShnow · 17/12/2006 15:33

Law on sickness during pregnancy:

"Sickness during pregnancy or at the end of maternity leave
If the employee is sick during her pregnancy and the illness is not related to her pregnancy (e.g. she has a sprained wrist), then she should be treated in the same way as any other employee who is ill.

If she is ill with a pregnancy-related illness (e.g. pregnancy-related high blood pressure) and there is more than four weeks to go before childbirth, she should go on normal sick leave in the same way as any other employee who is ill. Note though that an employee cannot be dismissed for having a pregnancy-related illness, and any such absences must be recorded separately from sickness absence unrelated to pregnancy.

If she is absent from work due to her pregnancy during or after the beginning of the fourth week before the EWC, the employer can automatically trigger the start of maternity leave. However, this is at the employers discretion. It is considered good practice not to trigger maternity leave for the occasional day off in that period.

If the employee cannot return to work at the end of her maternity leave because of illness she should be treated as back at work and on sick leave. She should comply with your normal sickness procedures"

It's a bit vague really as like you say it has to be recorded separately, but I presume with the same policy as non-pregnancy sickness. So yes you would only be entitled to ssp if that's company policy generally. However, I don't know if they can just stop paying you because of their own mistake especially as you are pregnant and it is their duty to make sure they know their own HR regulations and follow them.

First place to go to is the Citizens Advice Bureau or phone acas for advice.

LetitShnowLetitShnowLetitShnow · 17/12/2006 15:34

And I should have added how bloody awful for you and at Christmas too. I hope you can find a swift resolution to this.

Ridiculous that they don't even know their own HR policies.

LetitShnowLetitShnowLetitShnow · 17/12/2006 15:50

Right DH is here now and understands more about emploment law than me- manager of big place!- and I quote:

They can't revise your contract (so the statement you quote stands) without your permission.

They can't refuse to pay you because it was their mistake, you've not been dishonest in any way and it would result in a pregnant and vulnerable woman being put in a compromising financial situation. On purely ethical grounds this is a minefield the company doesn't want to touch. Legally they have a duty of care to you and treating you this way (threatening to change the wording of their policies) is discrimination.

End quote

I've re-read your post and the bit about pregnancy related sickness not counting towards reduced payment definitely implies that you cannot be financially penalised for being sick with a pregnancy related illness. It is badly worded and they will want to change it, but it is their fault.

Can you go to them and say look you can't change your wording now, I'm pregnant I know about the law relating to protecting the rights of pregnant women etc etc and they might back down for fear of damaging their own reputation.

LetitShnowLetitShnowLetitShnow · 17/12/2006 15:56

He adds: Keep any record of communication and if you do feel strong enough to confront them, talk to HR, not to a line manager. Straight to the top.

They do not want to risk the health of a pregnant woman by cutting her off financially.

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