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March 2016 Babies!! Thread #7 The one where we all say.... "Stay put Flump!!"

998 replies

Paperblank · 24/11/2015 08:14

Stay where you are Flump!!!

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Rosieblossom123 · 07/12/2015 13:20

Hey girls sorry been a bit quiet, had a bit of a dramatic day on Friday, had really bad pain in my lower belly and didn't feel baby move all day and I tried everything and only got a tint kick so after lunch I phoned my gp and they asked me to go in straight away, got there they found baby's heartbeat but they said I have to go to the day assessment unit at the hospital as I haven't felt any movement and also because of the pain. Was at the hospital from 3pm to 9:30 :( they put the monitors on my belly to asses the heartbeat and movements and my cheeky girl wouldn't stop moving I couldn't believe it but I had to be monitored for a good hour and everything was looking good, reg the pain they had to do some swabs and check if I was going into labour but thankfully I wasn't and they reckon it was braxton Hicks. So that was an eventful Friday evening!!

Reg sleep, I'm another one who's struggling with leg cramps during the night and back pain it's horrible can't remember the last time I had a good night sleep!!

I was looking at all the clothes we bought and been given to us and thought I really need to start doing some washing, I've got at least 6 or 7 washing load Shock When would you girls recommend washing and ironing baby clothes?

Rosieblossom123 · 07/12/2015 13:21

Oh and Missi I'm so glad Zach is doing well, hopefully not long until he can come home Flowers

ffauxlivia · 07/12/2015 13:22

missi so lovely to get an update!! The 25-weeker born in another group I am in also opened her eyes for the first time on the same day as Zach - it's wonderful to hear their progress!! And thank you so much for the BF and pumping advice - no joke I'm writing all this down in my notebook ready :) Websites are useful but real mums give the best advice!

ginger I saw your thread on the main boards and am starting to get really worried about you. Wanting the baby out early is not a rational way of thinking because that would potentially present a much more stressful situation, and I'm worried your anxiety is getting you stuck in a negative thought pattern - completely understandable given all the physical difficulties you are dealing with and not your fault at all. But you are just getting more anxious and potentially depressed, so please please please tell all of this to the doctors and really make sure they deal with your mental health with as much priority as your physical health.

Please try some of the suggestions on here - mindfulness, meditation, hypnosis CDs - whatever works for you! But these are difficult issues for you to deal with alone so it's completely okay to seek out professional help....this is a lot to cope with!

I know you think you won't last until March but you are stronger than you think you are and you can do this! Just remember your little one is kicking and happy and healthy, and try and focus on that as much as possible, and how wonderful it's going to be when you meet her and can put all of this behind you. You've coped amazingly for 6 months given your sickness etc, and can do these last 3 - I promise!

keep us updated with your doc visit today x

Paperblank · 07/12/2015 15:21

Missi lovely to hear from you. Zach sounds like a real little trooper.

Ginger hope your Dr's have been able to give you a bit of support - insomnia sucks and is incredibly draining which won't be helping with your anxiety. I agree with what ffaux mentioned above you need to speak to someone (maybe your midwife?) about how you are feeling. Sending hugs, you sound so down honey xxx

Have been pottering about running errands this morning - I now feel pregnant and feel like I'm dragging a ton of weight behind me

OP posts:
Gingerlady123 · 07/12/2015 16:52

Afternoon girls.
Doctors appointment this morning went like this no medication can be given to help me sleep except my phenergan which i had been using for morning sickness but as this is a anti-histamine this could make my restless legs even worse. She just said my body will eventually be so tired it'll sleep. it doesn't feel like it. I survived last night by sleeping 10:30-11:45 (I think- i'm so tired i don't even remember) then must of been 4:30 ish to 6:15 ish then 7:15 ish to 7:45ish so this what 3.5 hours sleep and I tried napping three times today and I managed an hour before I was up again. She said I wont faints my body will sleep before then but I don't believe this. I went for a walk around the block and everything feels like a fog. I don't trust my self to cross the road. It feels like people are trying to walk into me etc. I feel weird. I don't feel right. My heart rate at the surgery was 121 bpm and blood pressure was 126 over 96 which is ever so slightly high. We also talked about my anxiety and stress. I had a tear running out my eye when I said " I just can't do this, please help me get better " she gave me a helpline to phone. I also phoned Samaritans today. She checked I am not dehydrated from the vomiting and I am not which is good

ffaux- i know my thoughts of wanting the baby out now are irrational but my health feels like its on the line. I tried a hypnosis thing on youtube earlier after three times of listening to it I was still wide awake after 30 minutes. I will try some other things though. My GP mentioned mindfulness. I want my baby so badly but because I am sooo tired I am starting to wonder what the hell have I got my self in to? I know in my rational head it will all be worth it but when your in the moment it is very hard to think like that. so so hard.

The GP did not sign me off she thinks its better I am kept busy. My OH works with me to and my boss for once has been really nice. His told OH he knows i'm not taking the mickey with my sick days and I am genuinely ill and his willing to pay up to 20 days minimum full pay if I get signed off. I will be working tomorrow but I think I need to ask about extended breaks and have a good chat as I don't want to be making silly mistakes at work as I am tired.

Rosie- I am glad baby is all ok and hope you feel put at ease.
Again a big thank you to every single person on here that has taken the time to write to me. I so appreciate it more than you will ever realise. Now waiting for OH to get home. I can't wait to see him. I phoned him at lunchtime in tears and he sounded heart broken- he truly is so good to me and I don't know what I would do without him

ffauxlivia · 07/12/2015 17:41

Aw ginger well I'm glad there's some positives there - an amazing OH and a supportive boss, and I'm glad the doctor took you seriously. However I feel like there should have been a referral rather than just a helpline to call! gem I know you mentioned you had CBT - how did you get this? I'm not familiar with how it works in the UK at the moment. I know my friend got a referral from the midwife after her baby was born due to her anxiety - but that was a couple of years ago.

Feeling like you are in a a fog when you are walking sounds like depression/anxiety to me, rather than a physical issue. You seem to be aware of this which is good, as half the battle is just recognising it for what it is. There is a mental health support board on mumsnet which has some very knowledgable posters - I know quite a few pregnant people post on there including one called (I think) sleeplessinlondon.? Might be worth checking her posts out as she had a lot of helpful advice regarding her depression whilst pregnant - now her baby is born and everything worked out great, and her depression lifted immediately. Not saying it's the same thing but it might help to read about someone else's tough experience during pregnancy and how they coped, and came out the other end okay.

I'm glad you're not alone in this and we are here for you too! Flowers

Me624 · 07/12/2015 18:12

Rosie what a scare for you, so glad your baby is fine though.

Ginger I really feel for you, it sounds like you are having a really rough time. I agree with ffaux that your GP could have been more helpful with a referral for some counselling or therapy to help with your anxiety. At least your work and your DP are supportive. Do you work for a big company, is there an occupational health team who might be able to help?

Baby me has had another quietish day today, but he seems to be settling into a pattern of having super active days followed by quieter ones so I'm not too concerned this time. I think he's moved around as the kicks were all very low down before and now they seem higher up, round my belly button area!

Missikat · 07/12/2015 18:24

Here's my littlest boy today at 10 days old xxx

March 2016 Babies!! Thread #7 The one where we all say.... "Stay put Flump!!"
March 2016 Babies!! Thread #7 The one where we all say.... "Stay put Flump!!"
Trinpy · 07/12/2015 18:26

Sorry to hear you're still having a tough time of it ginger, but I think ffaux's advice is spot on. Have you spoken to your mw about how you're feeling? I know my hospital has a women's health counselling service that specialises in mental health issues during and after pregnancy - maybe your hospital has something similar?

I've had an awful day at work - very tiring and stressful - I didnt get a lunch break until 2.30 and I had to beg a another member of staff to cover for me for 20 mins just so I could have that. My mat leave still hasn't been sorted out and they have lost my mat b1 form Hmm. I'm going to try to contact hr and payroll tomorrow to make sure this won't cause any issues with my leave and pay, but its just so much stress all the time.

IndomitabIe · 07/12/2015 19:26

I survived the day! (So far!) But I can catch up tonight, I hope by some miracle Ginger can too.

I've just thought, could this be some antenatal depression, Ginger? I know depression can be a cause of insomnia. Maybe this is something your GP/Midwife would be able to check and then act upon, since they seem incapable of dealing with the anxiety aspect. And being signed off with antenatal depression would give you some respite from work but wouldn't affect your sick leave entitlement (pregnancy related illness does not count towards your sickness record and you cannot be disciplined/dismissed for it) That might at least give you some space to relax before trying any medication they can give (and I think this does exist) to help you feel more like yourself.

Just got to your update. I'm glad you took some time off, and glad you had some more sleep. Here's an unmumsnetty Internet hug for you ((hugs)). Glad to see you got an appointment - yes, phenergen is a sedative (we've got some for DS travel sickness). Is it worth trying once?

It might be an idea to see if you can see another GP in a few days if there's no improvement. So glad your DH is being brilliant.

Glad you got some sleep Trinpy! It doesn't bode well that we're all tired and sleep deprived already, does it?!

Just read about your stressful day. Sounds like a right pain in the backside. Hope they manage to sort it out ASAP. You should wave the HSE info at them about allowing rest breaks etc. If they can't make such a reasonable adjustment as to allow you sufficient breaks they should be suspending you on full pay till they can!

Hope the haircut went swimmingly Suz.

Sounds like a nightmare, Me!

Maybe, sorry to hear you're struggling too. I think so many of us are at the point where we need rest, physically and mentally.

I get a touch of health anxiety when I'm run down/exhausted. Not too badly fortunately.

Rosie that sounds frightening. Glad everything was OK.

Wise words from ffaux. And glad to hear Sleeplessinlondon has had her baby and is feeling better. She really went through the mill, poor thing. She could have done with a lot more help from her doctor/midwife team.

Oh wow, Missi! He is just beautiful! Thank you for continuing to post, I really love hearing about you both and those pics have made me well right up!

Huge post of replies, sorry. I better get on with some work before I end up late to bed again Hmm

Paperblank · 07/12/2015 19:34

Missi he is beautiful Smile it must be lovely to have a cuddle x

OP posts:
ffauxlivia · 07/12/2015 19:47

Aw missi the pics made me well up too! He is so tiny and perfect; must be wonderful to finally get some skin-to-skin time and cuddles, I bet it will help speed up his strengthening no end x

MyNameIsSuz · 07/12/2015 19:56

Oh missi he's lovely! Looks like you're getting lots of skin to skin in which must be doing him a world of good.

KnitsBakesAndReads · 07/12/2015 20:12

Oh missi, he is gorgeous! I've been reading your story on this thread for a while (I'm due start of April but like to lurk here as well as the April thread) and didn't want to read without saying congratulations and I hope Zach continues to impress the doctors with his progress.

KnitsBakesAndReads · 07/12/2015 20:22

Also, ginger, I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hope your feelings of anxiety and your difficulty sleeping start to improve soon. I know what it's like to have problems with anxiety (though not specifically pregnancy related) and can imagine how difficult things must be for you at the moment.

I also just wanted to suggest two things that have helped me. Firstly, can you ask your GP if there's a specific pregnancy and postnatal mental health team in your area? My area has specialist midwives and doctors who are experts in dealing with issues like anxiety in pregnancy. If there is a service like that then you might find they are more helpful than your GP or even a general mental health team.

Secondly, you said your GP mentioned trying mindfulness and that's definitely something that's helped me. It doesn't make your anxiety go away, but it helps you to recognise it as something temporary that will pass, and to see it as just one of many emotions that you experience and move on from.

If you're interested at all then I recommend an audiobook called 'Mindfulness: The Eight-Week Meditation Programme for a Frantic World.' You can get it for free if you sign up as an Audible member and you can then cancel your subscription so it won't need to cost you anything. It's not a very long book and it has guided meditations that you can listen to and practice. I found it a very easy and helpful introduction to mindfulness.

Take care of yourself and I hope that things start to improve soon for you.

shieldbug · 07/12/2015 20:30

Missi thanks so much for the pictures; he's adorable. He is doing amazingly well and so glad you could see ds1 again too.

Ginger Thinking of you and hoping you manage to get the help you need. You have indeed come through so much already, it shows you are strong. We're all behind you cheering you on; you can do it.

I'm starting to struggle with lack of energy again. I still walk at least 4 miles a day (to and from school and on errands) and it's just really tiring me out. It's not helped by 2 often uncooperative ds who make me so late for everything that I charge about as fast as I can waddle! I'm so short tempered with them at times it makes me feel guilty.

gemsparkle84 · 07/12/2015 21:27

Wow Missi he is stunning. He looks so gorgeous and you must be so proud of how far you've both come already.

Ginger have you mentioned your anxiety to anyone? My midwife referred me for my CBT but I was firstly referred to the service which provides lots of different services for mental health and then assessed to what would suit me. As I have been diagnosed with OCD in the past as well as anxiety CBT is the best option. It's very hard work, but I'm hoping it's going to be worth it. Ginger I know you will spend so much time seeking reassurance, much like me. Whether it's from a HP, your partner or on the Internet. You need to start breaking these cycles and you cannot do it alone any more. I think you've probably reached a point where you can no longer manage this on your own. Your anxiety is without a doubt (in my unprofessional -but experienced opinion) linked to the fact you can't sleep. When you start managing your anxiety you will begin to feel better.

I agree with OP who said it is worrying that you want your baby soon due to your worries. I can completely sympathise, these thoughts went through my head due to my own anxieties about my health but that is no way the answer. It's a temporary short term fix to your current worries and opening a whole works of new ones.

I don't have the answers Ginger but I hope you listen to me and seek help for your anxieties in addition to your current health concerns because they both need to be addressed. Xxx

Trinpy · 07/12/2015 22:28

Aww missi he's gorgeous. You can see how much bigger and healthier he's looking already - that 4am pumping must be paying off! Lovely that you're getting cuddles Xmas Smile.

indom I actually haven't had a chance to even speak to my manager properly apart from when I first had my risk assessment. Every time I try to arrange to see her to sort out the paperwork or to discuss how things are going she is always too busy to see me on the day. I was seriously considering refusing to go back in after today but I've calmed down a bit now! I'm told I can go back to my previous manager and patients in the new year though so I'm holding out for that.

dobbythedoggy · 07/12/2015 23:07

missi Zack is breath taking, lovely to see you're getting skin to skin. Hope it's the start of lots of lovely cuddles for you all.

ginger So sorry to see you struggling so much, have been thinking of you all evening. Although I've been lucky enough to not struggle with anxsity lots of people in my family have, dh, my dad and sister in recent years and my grandpa when I was growing up.

Not sure if it's the same for you but the first time my dad went to see our gp he was given a 'helpline' number to call. It was actually the number to start the self referal process to the mental health team in our area, which we only discovered when my mum went back to see the gp with him the following day. Once he'd spoken to them help was put into place very quickly.

Dh has had socail anxisity for a very long time, exentually diagnoised in his late teens, and usually well managed since he turned 20. But it suddenly became over powering in the first few weeks of dd's life, as her birth brought up memories of lots of childhood trauma. Our health visitor was amazing and managed to get him a rapid referal to someone in their team. I can't remember at what stage health visitors usually introuduce themselves but know in our area babies are usually placed under one by the time mum's hit the third trimester. Might be another person to seek help from.

My sister really struggled to seek help for her anxsity, in the end she called 111 one evening when she was at her worst and was told to go straight to a and e or they'd send an ambulance.

My grandpa was sadly of the generation that believed there was no such thing as anxsity/depression/etc. But the thing that helped him cope best was always having something to do with his hands. His normal activity was crochet, I learnt a little from him and picked it up again a couple of years ago. It's one of the best ways I have to relax when I'm stressed and I find I'm dealing better with pregancy related sleep issues this time by getting up and doing some when I can't drop back off in the middle of the night.

With regards to the sickness meds you're taking, I took the same to begin with, luckily sickness eased to manageable level to stop. But my surgery limmit the amount of time you're allowed to take them. It's their practice to change at 24 weeks if meds are still needed as it's meant to be less sutiable for women later in pregnancy. Also I can't remember if it was in the medication leaflet, in the info the surgery gave me on sickness meds in pregnancy or something the gp said. But I'm sure I was told or read that it should only be used as a short term seditive as it can actually cause hyperactivity with long term use. Certainly when precribed to children for seditive perpouses it's meant to be limmited to a few weeks use. I certainly found it more difficult to sleep the couple of weeks before I stopped taking them, after around 8 weeks on them, where as before I was almost litterally knocked out after taking them. My sleep improved with in a week of stopping them.

Are you still struggling with heartburn? That caused a lot of sickness for me when I was pregnant with dd. This time I went to the gp as soon as it was making me sick and have been precribed as acid regulator that's safe for use in pregnancy. I take it a couple of times a week and it makes a world of difference.

I get restless legs/cramps at night. Thanks to dd being ill over the weekend I seem to have found walking up and down the stairs a dozen or so times seems to settle down the wosrt of it if that's what wakes me at night.

I don't think there's going to be a magic fix for you. Although truely wish there was a magic wand that could be waved to make it all better for you. But it sounds like you're in of need a lot of support to get through the next few months.

indom wishing you a better night's sleep tonight.

Personally have really annoying shoulder and occationally rib pain on the left hand side. Had it towards to end with dd, so hoping it doesn't mean bump has wedged himself in the breech position like she did! Will be asking the midwife on thursday if there's anything I can do about. Might book myself in for a pregnancy massarge if I can find a place locally as I can't face 12+ weeks with such an uncomfortable shoulder.

hayleycookie · 08/12/2015 10:31

I'm sorry I have no experience with this Ginger, but we are all here for you anytime you need to rant/chat, and we will all support you however we can. It looks like you have an amazing support network here of people who have a lot of experience with the same thing. I hope you get the help you need, and start to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy soom

Missi How handsome is little Zachary!! It must be lovely to be able to hold him at last. He's such a warrior! Hope you are all doing well :)

Not much to add this side - but thinking of everyone, and hope you're all doing well Xmas Smile

Rosieblossom123 · 08/12/2015 10:47

Thanks for the replies girlies, she's active now it's a relief :) Flowers

Missi Zach is adorable :) I be you're so proud of him little cutie :)

Me624 · 08/12/2015 12:17

Lovely pictures of Zach missi.

Glad your baby is more active now Rosie!

I have just handed in my matb1 form and other internal maternity forms to HR at work. It felt strange writing all the dates down - my last day (as long as I continue to feel well) will be 19th Feb, which is exactly 38 weeks. Then I plan to return around mid January 2017! HR confirmed that I can carry over my whole 2016 holiday allowance (even bank holidays) to tag onto the end of my maternity leave which is great - it means that when my SMP runs out I will be able to take almost the last 7 weeks of my leave as paid holiday, that will help out the finances considerably!

Rosieblossom123 · 08/12/2015 12:58

Thank you Me :)

I'm getting my matb1 on Monday at my 28 week check up, it feels like time is flying Grin

TriJo · 08/12/2015 13:44

Getting mine on Thursday at my 25 week appointment - DH's work are breathing down his neck to get a copy of it in for his paternity leave!

maybebabybee · 08/12/2015 13:51

I got my MATB1 at my 25 week appt a couple of weeks ago...luckily DP's work are not bothered about seeing it, his boss just says he can take 2 weeks paternity leave without registering it with HR.

Missi beautiful pictures, glad you're doing well.

rosie that must have been frightening you poor thing! so happy all is fine.

ginger am thinking of you. was really concerned reading your thread on the pregnancy board. I have to say I am in the midst of a horrible bout of anxiety at the moment and it's fucking awful, I feel like I am going bats. I have made an appointment to see the GP but I am a bit doubtful about what they will do. I've had extensive counselling in the past, plus CBT, plus tried medication, exercise, mindfulness etc etc and literally nothing seems to work for me but all I can do is keep trying as I don't want to live like this. Has a massive impact on poor DP as well as me and I know my baby will suffer too if I don't get some kind of handle on it. I feel like if some crisis were to happen like DP getting ill or losing his job or whatever I would utterly crumble and be unable to cope - feel totally pathetic! Sorry to be depressing, just wanted to say that it's a struggle every day so I totally understand how you feel Flowers

other than all that things are pretty uneventful with me baby-wise, he continues to kick away in there.