March 2016 #6, we're just breeding here!

[MyNameIsSuz]

New thread, whoop whoop. Come on over!

Toni its about 50 - 75cm for your screen (looking at our set up sheet at work but NO idea where they got that from) depending on how tall you are so it would be a case of checking your eyeline I guess?

After playing badminton last night I though I might try and do something a bit more low impact.... looked at our local gym and they don't really cater for pregnant people, they do aquanatal combined with aqua rehab which sounds a bit rubbish and no sign of yoga or anything - where do you that do it go to? (do I need to be googling activities in the local church hall?).

vroc you might have some local yoga studios which have prenatal classes - I'm in the States at the mo so lucky as yoga is everywhere - but it's not cheap. Church halls are cheaper than studios but don't often have prenatal. Definitely do a general google for prenatal in your area, or you could also try calling a normal yoga class to see if they would let you come along - but in the second trimester there are quite a few modifications so the teacher needs to know their stuff. I go along to a couple of classes just to check I'm doing things right, then do DVDs the rest of the time. I could send you links to ones I use if you like, but would have to check they are available in UK!

Feeling really emotional the past couple of days, bumps getting bigger so nothing is fitting me properly now :(. I dont mind my belly getting bigger as obv it is and i know baby is growing well then, but its the rest of me i just feel so fat atm. I went out for dinner last night with family as it was my brothers birthday and put my pre pregnancy jeans on and they still fit but getting tight now. So going to have to go out at the weekend when I get paid and buy some new ones. Also I haven't got any nice work or going out tops which fit anymore or that don't make me look too fat. Having a bad week this week. Just feel like crying .

xx

Aw Toni emotions are everywhere at the moment - it's normal! Hope you feel better soon. Some properly fitting maternity wear will make you feel so much better as it's much more flattering than trying to struggle with normal clothes! H&M are good, but you'll get more selection in general online. Make sure tops have the ruche bit on the sides of the waist. hugs!

Toni, getting used to a changing body is difficult. I really struggled last time. The limitations of style of maternity clothes don't help - it's like the bigger I got the more I lost my identity. I'm doing better this time (so far...).

However, some well fitting bits can make you feel so much better. (Beware, I found in my local city - the main city in the region - barely anywhere stocked maternity clothes, so shopping ended up infuriating and traumatic.)

Take time for yourself. See if you can do something to make yourself feel... yourself (this is another problem for me - my pastimes aren't really compatible with pregnancy!). What did you do before pregnancy?

In terms of putting on weight elsewhere, it's important to have adequate fat stores in the early weeks after birth. But I realise the rationality of this doesn't often help with the reality. I've started to feel like I'm losing tone, and becoming weak. Starting yoga is helping me feel stronger and tighter, even if realistically it's not doing anything physically.

Have you had your risk assessment at work? You mentioned earlier you're uncomfortable. You sound like you're having a rubbish day in general! Maybe some more comfortable clothing and some adjustments at work might help you feel better.

Thankyou ffauxlivia, yeah I need to go shopping this weekend when I get paid to get some bits as getting really upset with all my clothes now. Does the ruche bit pull you in more then ?

Indomitable, it is really difficult. Im struggling now, I was fine but now as im getting further on and my bump has suddenly popped out its becoming harder.

I dunno what I can do to make myself feel better though, it don't help where I just want to eat shit food as well. Im not giving into all my cravings as well as I will feel even worse as its all crisps and chocolate and cakes that I want. I have a horse so rode him like 4 times a week before now I cant ride him at all .

My legs just feel like there huge atm, makes me think my partner is going to go off me and not like me anymore. I cant help feeling like this, I try to think he loves me for me and wont leave me but with my hormoes everywhere its not helping atm.

No I haven't had a risk assessment at work yet. Yeah got backache too !! I am having a shit day. Cant wait to finish work and go home and chill !! But after work I have to pick partner up then sort my horses out first

Thankyou for listening

xx

Toni - I know exactly how you feel. I was really bad in my last pregnancy. Convinced I was fat, ugly and DH didn't want me. Please, please try to remember even in your worst moments that most of this is the hormones talking, it's no reflection on you at all xx

You have a horse?! I'm so jealous! (But not of the getting up early every day, mucking out in the freezing cold or the expense!)

That does make pregnancy doubly terrifying though! As well as missing riding (man that does wonders for my head!) you must be worried about what to do with him or how you'll cope with him after having the baby. (There are ways and means!)

I've known of people continue riding for some time - if he's safe to do some plodding, and you're happy to, there's no reason not to. Could you also walk him in-hand, lunge or play in the school with him? Even ride with someone, not leading exactly, but on foot just in case. To maintain the contact with your 'first baby' and keep you moving around outside?

Of course, if he's at all boisterous or unpredictable this might not be safe. Have you got a sharer/part loan to help with the heavy work? There must be tons of people willing to muck out for free riding (I would). Mucking out won't be helping your back, and tiredness won't be helping your mood.

Deffo insist on your risk assessment ASAP. Your employer is obliged to make reasonable changes to keep you comfortable - a new chair, and/or exercise ball, frequent breaks to move around or rest, a foot rest to help with your positioning.

This must be a real change to your normal self & routine. I can understand how you must be feeling. And hormonal is normal!

Yes toni the ruche stops tops looking like tents! indom is right, you'll get more selection online, and the styles can be very limited. I normally wear coloured jeans but with maternity it seems to be blue or black! I think we get a better selection stateside though so have found some good stuff second hand

Anyway a nice dress might make you feel better for nights out! Here is some inspiration and ideas of different styles: www.independent.co.uk/extras/indybest/fashion-beauty/best-maternity-dresses-maternity-clothing-maternity-clothes-10104523.html

A great run down of the shops you can try - high street, online and second hand: www.babycentre.co.uk/a563012/maternity-clothing-directory

and 'how to own maternity style' - not all great but maybe some inspirationwww.buzzfeed.com/alisoncaporimo/up-their-maternity-style#.opEAd698E8

As indom said we need the extra bits everywhere now for breastfeeding, and I bet your partner thinks you are beautiful - you might be surprised how attractive men find pregnant women!

oops here is that last link: www.buzzfeed.com/alisoncaporimo/up-their-maternity-style#.opEAd698E8

Beautifulliar its horrible, I just feel like digusting atm. Yeah I feel ugly and everything too. Im getting my hair done Saturday hopefully that will make me feel a bit better. I am trying to remember its just my hormones but its hard.

IndomitabIe- Yeah ive had him for 15 years now . Yes that's te downside the early mornings and when it is freezing and icy/snowy not good!! After ive had my baby im going to start riding him again, ive got my mum to help me look after him so I don't much of the heavy work. I would continue riding but my partner doesn't want me to his scared and im worried just incase because normally his like a little lamb in our sand school but you might get that odd day where his not. Ive actually got someone coming up my stables on Saturday to look at start part loaning him as im worried about the costs of him as baby coming. So we will see how that goes.

Yeah I will ask for a risk assessment and some changed to be made as like now my back is starting to hurt. My hot water bottle is cold now may have to go make another one.

faux - Oh right ok thankyou for your advice. Thankyou for your support, I think its just me. He still calls me beautiful and that and tells me don't be stupid but I cant help it

Thankyou everyone xx

sher I've already had the flu jab a couple of weeks ago and had no side effects. Flu in pregnancy whilst not necessarily fatal is not great for your baby - there's a reason it's offered to pregnant women as they are classed as a vulnerable group. Also whooping cough is really really serious and prior to them routinely vaccinating for it in pregnancy, there was an outbreak (I know someone - non pregnant - who got it and really suffered), so they are really pushing it now. Basically I would always say to do it, there is a lot of junk on the internet about vaccinations so you do need to be careful but the NHS has a good summary about it, so if you want to be informed, best to read about it from professionals.

anyway you can read about it (with links to evidence) here:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/flu-jab-vaccine-pregnant.aspx

toni sorry you are feeling down about your changing body. It is hard. I've not been able to fit into my pre pregnancy clothes for a long while now, and I'm massive. Like seriously huge. It's tough as I had stretch marks with DD and don't want any more. I'm not so concerned about what DP thinks about me as he still lusts after me a lot and compliments me, I think he finds it a bit of a turn on to see me pregnant to be honest . But for me it's a lot to do with my own self confidence and the fact I feel my stomach muscles are getting worse and I will have a permanently flabby belly even after DD2 is here. ugh . If you're worried about how your partner feels, you could have a conversation with him about your fears? It might make you feel better to get things off your chest. It is so hard though. I really don't want to put on weight other than on my belly, so am trying so hard not to, but it's tough when your body wants to do it's own thing!

Toni I understand your hesitancy.

One day, probably when the DC have grown up and gone to uni I'll get myself a horse! (I really like heavy horses!) Until then, it's the occasional ride on a friend's, or maybe sharing one locally in about 3 years time.

marmite its horrible i just don't want anywhere else getting fat , i know my belly is going too but i hated my legs beforehand now im even worse. I don't have any self confidence in myself at all, never have done. Yeah i may have a conversation with him tonight about how im feeling. Thankyou

xx

indomitable i love horses grown up with them all my life. I like heavy horses too there lovely xx

Thanks for all the info folks . Haven't read any anti vaccine material as I know what they will say but there isn't much either than can convince me that the vaccine is totally safe and has no long term side effects on the unborn baby, as pregnant women haven't been taking it for very long . The fact that it is 'free' is not a factor imo - we are heavily taxed in this country Dh paid more than 6k in taxes last month alone . Still haven't made a decision yet- may go for the whopping cough but not the flu jab .

Toni - another fellow Currently non rider here!! What you got? I have a big fat coblet (shire X) and a mini tank coblet! The big fatty is semi retired and the new boy is only just started his schooling etc so I'm not missing much.. I know people that ride quite late but her semi retirement is winter only riding when the grounds softer and not sure I fancy stretching my hips that far apart at the moment.

Give your horse a hug this evening, you know it will make you feel better, deep breathing of that horsey smell at the same time..

I keep thinking we have timed this really badly - struggle through winter sorting them out but keeping my sights on the clocks changing and me being able to get back in the saddle in the spring (ssshh to anyone that is going to tell me I am going to be far to busy for that don't burst my bubble yet!)

Ffaux thanks for the yoga suggestions, will have a google later.

vroc81- Ive got a big fat cob too . I will be giving him big hugs tonight going up there in a minute when i leave work to sort them out. Yes so do i lol, but im looking forward to the clocks going forward and getting back in the saddle again . No shh everyone don't burst our bubbles lol

xx

I wanna horse!!!! I love horses, but I've never ever ridden - I was always waaaay too fat and heavy. Learning to ride was on my list of things to do this year and then I fell pregnant

Indomitable if you'd been a guest at my wedding there is no way I would have had a problem with you bringing a newborn. You wouldn't have even had to ask if it was okay, I would have assumed you'd be coming if you were to it with the baby.....stupid statement alert but a newborn ain't children!!

DISCLAIMER: Some brides are a bit blinkered and precious abut "THEIR DAY" you could have come to our wedding in your pyjamas and we wouldn't have given a monkeys

Sorry to interrupt the horse chat bbut I badly need somewhere to offload a bit.

I've been so anxious pregnancy and I just can't seem to calm down! I've been having chest pains all day from the constant stress I'm under. I went into work specially today for my risk assessment with my manager. I waited 45 minutes for her, and it never happened. She knew I was there there, she knew I had limited childcare, she just couldn't be arsed to even apologise for running late. So i stormed out and I'm still furious.

Sorry that made no sense! I meant I'm generally very stressed about lots of things and this has just tipped me over the edge a bit. And I have to go to work in 30 mins! Really need to calm down.

sher sorry but I fail to see what your problem is? Its true that its not been routine in this country for women to receive the flu jab in pregnancy but that doesn't mean pregnant women haven't been receiving the flu jab since before then. I can't see why you think you getting flu wouldn't harm your baby but the flu jab (a deactivated version of the virus) would? Sorry, I don't mean to get in your face but I find suspicion about vaccinations and babies really frustrating. Its no different from taking other medicine (e.g. paracetamol) which hasn't been formally tested on pregnant women but over time has not been shown to have negative effects. I get that you want to "be informed", but best information and medical recommendation suggests that the flu shot is beneficial to mum and doesn't harm the fetus.

Sorry, but I get quite frustrated with the fact people seem to trust doctors concerning medicine but when it comes to vaccination suddenly want to interpret the evidence themselves

Oh no Trinpy, that's really terrible of your manager.

The chest pains from anxiety is a worry though. Have you spoken to your midwife/GP about it? Could they fast-track you on to some (I'm out of my depth here) therapy? Or even sign you off work for a bit to have a chance at recuperating a bit?

Or even write to your employer with recommendations of the alterations to your working conditions that would help? (Such things as holding meetings on time when you're coming in on your day off).

I wish I hadn't asked now; never said I was anti vaccine just wanted more info! Haven't clicked on any anti vaccine links the only thing I've read that made me wary was on the manufacturers website which states that the effect of the vaccine on fetal development is unknown and that the vaccine should not be used to pregnant women. Is it such a crime to question that ? I don't get why people take it personally when you question vaccinations - or make judgements about the person asking . How do you know that I trust doctors concerning all meds except vaccines ? I've never been prescribed any medication during pregnancy so have not been on this situation before to have to think about it

I'm not suspicious either - I just want to know what I'm putting in my body and why . Have had flu several times in previous pregnancies and all has been well. Jabs were not offered in my previous pregnancies as ten years ago so this is all new to me .