We're marvelling at bucket fanjos, peeing while we vom, trying subsistence farming and staying incontinent. Keeping our GX and firmly holding the hands of viroids having a hard time - JSing grads 36!

[pretzelpieces]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 36th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The 35th grads fred is here.

The thread we have graduated from is here in its 51st outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread here for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

Here is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates.

Aww niff big hugs! I hate sleeping on my own too.

So had a total preggo strop yesterday. Found out my mum, without asking me, has booked holiday and flights to come over when the baby is due. She doesn't have much money so has asked my nan if she can stay with me!! (Not asked me this) and says she wants to come to the hospital. Not a word of this has come from her to me, in fact she's not spoken to me in two weeks.

I'm so angry and upset, I feel like telling her to cancel it but I also don't want to be a bitch. I have NO relationship with her at all, she left me when I was 6 months to go on a drug fuelled trip round Europe and never came back, yet she expects to be a grandmother to this baby. Makes me so mad!!!

Sorry for the rant. Needed to write it down somewhere. In good MN fashion, AIBU to be pissed off about this?!?

jelly trust me when I tell you that you MUST put a stop to this! Your mother is so far past the line she can't even see the line. The line is a dot to her! You don't owe her anything and you are not oblidged to have ANYONE in your home at that time. You have no idea how your birth will pan out and how the baby will feed and that time is crucial for bonding and for you and DH to find your feet as parents. No one should be there unless you ask them to be. If she wants to bond with the baby and reestablish some kind of relationship with you it can wait until you're sleeping at least 5 hours at a stretch. Tell them no and be firm. It is not appropriate for her to expect this and you need to shut it down. If she can't cancel her trip she will have to stay elsewhere and only see her once you've established a routine with Jelly Bean... You can't afford this kind of distraction or stress!

Ooh, Mumsnet upgrade logged me out - rude!

Gouda, I went through a phase of being really irritated by DH especially around the house. This was a bit unfair as he is actually amazing at being domestic. I think I was projecting a lot of 'you need to be more responsible when the baby arrives' thoughts on to the situation without explaining it to him. I waited until the hormones had subsided a bit before talking to him as we don't really do getting angry at each other and I didn't trust myself not to strop. Tis all okay now though - the key is to keep talking.

Looking, for info Christmas Pud has been v quiet for a few days, I think it has turned around and is facing 'downhill' iyswim? It is a bit disconcerting when I have been feeling movements a lot so I understand why it worried you, but he/she is still small enough to hide.

In summation, your mother is being very exceptionally unreasonable.

Sorry Jelly, x post. Your Mum is being OUTRAGEOUS! I am v v close to my mum, she is a star, and she will not be at the birth! What planet is your Mum living on? Think you need to set some boundaries now as politely as you can. If you are happy for your Mum to be involved with Jelly Bean then tell her this but say that this needs to be when you/Jelly bean are ready, not at the birth/immediately after! Jesus!

Jelly...what Sky said. Get her told. She needs to know boundaries. I know it's horrible for you, she's your mum. And I'm sure there's a part of you that wishes she would act like one. But if she turns up, she's going to make it all about her - like she did when you told her about the pregnancy. If you can't tell her, will DH or your Nan?

Pud how many weeks are you now? I was still having that at 20+ weeks

Totally agree with what t'others have said Jelly. Make it clear to her that absolutely no-one is staying at your house in the first few days/weeks after baby is born, and that any visits from anyone will be short and pre-planned.

If that doesn't work I'd be inclined to tell her to fuck off

Wow jelly you are totally not being unreasonable - I am very close to my mum and we don't live in the same country but even so she is waiting a bit to come out as knows we will need a bit of time on our own (due date 4th Oct and she is coming 1st Nov) - I'm sue she would kill to be here for the birth but she didn't even suggest it. And as close as we are I wouldn't have really wanted her to be staying with us immediately either, I think your mum needs to change her dates to a few weeks after and find somewhere else to stay. She shouldn't be surprised at your reaction either given her awesome parenting skills.

Oh God is it food confession time? Yesterday was particularly bad:

Breakfast: Special K (full of sugar but I love it)
Lunch: Biryani, tandoori chicken and daal (work lunch)
Dinner: Crispy pork belly in sticky sauce with fries topped with cheese, sour cream and bacon! (out with friends - but everyone else had a lot of wine calories!)

This morning's breakfast was a fruit and nut bar and two slices of toast

Jelly tell her to fuck off. And then some. She wasn't a mother, why should she be a grandmother? If you want her involved, that's great, but in your terms, not her whims.

Well, I think that is fairly unanimous Jelly!

Purple I am 21 weeks tomorrow.

My bump feels super uncomfortable and stretchy today I am pretty sure that it is wind

Hehe sorry viroids i started the food confessions! Thank you though for sharing it helps actually as maybe I'm not eating an unreasonable amount for a preggo, like you jc I need so many snacks!

gaggia it doesn't sound like you've piled the weight on if you've gained 2.5 stone at 31 weeks? Like you said I bet you will maintain/lose, and even if you put a couple of pounds on you can be reassured it's actually the baby! My baby is apparently 8.47 ounces, so can't kid myself that my weight is baby!

nif sorry your dh is going away, don't feel silly for having your mum round though I'd be the same.

pud it is disconcerting after so much movement isn't it? I had three quiet days Sat-Mon with only the lightest little movements, Tues was a bit better then Weds he moved loads and did what felt like a somersault! But then yesterday I barely felt anything again.

I'm definitely making a GP appointment today, woke up at 5am and just worked myself up into an anxious state for about an hour about going into labour early. Thought I was having contractions and everything! I've been better the last couple of days then crazy strikes again, I guess there's no escape from it unless I do something about it.

Thanks so much for your kind words everyone. I was feeling overwhelmed yesterday - I think it was just an irrational feeling that everything to do with the baby would be left to me to do! I spent the rest of the day cleaning and sorting out things which had been annoying me in the flat, and it felt nice to be productive. Things with DH were much better last night. I think we've both tried to take a step towards the other.

Niff - Sorry to hear about the gap between your DH moving out and you moving over. The first few nights are always hard, but actually after that it can feel quite lovely! You could always do what I do and sleep with a rudimentary weapon under your pillow (I am totally normal)

How long will it take for the moving service to get your stuff sent over? And can your DH move into his apartment straight away, or does he have to spend some time in temporary accomodation until it's ready?

Jelly - I would speak to your nan and make it clear you don't want your mother there, she WON'T be allowed into the room at the hospital, and she SURE AS HELL won't be staying with you afterwards. You are going to have to be a bit of a bitch because she is forcing you to! If you don't have much of a relationship with her, then you have nothing to lose!

Oh yes and jelly you're well within your right to tell your mum to feck off, even if you had a fantastic relationship with her you're well within your right to say no to her staying with you when the baby's born! So considering you don't, and the fact that she had the cheek to react negatively when you told her about baby jelly, she can do one!

Thanks everyone, appreciate the support. My nan will be there at the birth with DP, but she's said afterwards we will need time to bond with the baby etc and she will be there if we need her, to cook/clean etc. But my mum will just sit around drinking beer and smoking and won't do anything to help. I want my children to know who she is but the last time she came to the UK was in 2005, so they aren't going to have her involved in their life. I'm just getting worked up about it. I'll have a word with her and try to get her to see my way of thinking.

looking good that you are going to see a GP, better to get seen to now :)

Oh, and I have enjoyed seeing everyone's food diaries!

Yesterday was a bit of an odd day as I was busy cleaning (I tend to eat much more when not doing much), but I had:

• Small bowl of porridge (milk/water) with raisins and honey
• Plain cheese sandwich and one block of lindt chocolate (I couldn't be bothered to go to the shops...)
• Two cups of earl grey tea with milk and sugar
• Home made vegetable curry (aubergine, onion, courgette, sweetcorn, chickpeas) with light creme fraiche and three slices of granary bread.
• About three litres of water.

Oh and one ice lolly lemon thing.

I've always had "really hungry" and "not that hungry" days though. The only reason there's only one block of chocolate is because I ate the rest of the bar during the week!

Niff it must be really hard for you being separated from your husband during such a massive life event. You're very brave in my book, whether your mother stays or not

Jelly your mother is still and yet again an arse. The thought of leaving my kids for anything over a couple of days makes me feel like shit so to do what she did to you when you were so little is completely unfathomable to me. Now, this is the most important time of your life, you have to take control of it. If your mother's presence is going to upset or stress you out then it can't happen. Your mother has to learn that you aren't a plaything that can be picked up and put down whenever it suits her and your little baby isn't either. If she wants a relationship with you both she has to prove herself to be reliable and considerate first, and booking that visit is proof she doesn't give a monkeys what your views/feelings are. I'm sorry your mother is a twat, you are being entirely reasonable.
Your food menus are putting me to shame. I'm eating a massive amount more crap than you all so well done all of you for sticking to healthy things. I have biscuits for breakfast a lot and insist upon a constant supply of minstrels. There, I said it.

rhi don't feel bad, i just demolished a bacon roll and a hash brown for breakfast, already eyeing up what i'm having for lunch. I'm am r.a.v.e.n.o.u.s at the moment!!

Did someone mention lunch? Oooh what to have today
Choices are cheese, tomato and either bread or wraps. Might have to be wraps for a change. I could even toast them.
How many wraps is too many?

Jelly lovie, I think you just need to tell her. I know it's hard but don't try to convince her not to come. Tell her not to come.
"Sorry but I don't want you at the hospital or staying in my house when the baby comes home. You can come for a visit when we are settled, I'll let you know when that is"

Sitting around drinking beer and smoking is not an option.

rhi I applaud you. I too wish to eat all the food.

purple when it comes to cheese and tomato toastie's i'd say there's no upper limit. I mean it's calcium and veg right?

I'm out for lunch, Zizzi's :) Nom!

Jelly don't feel bad about telling her to fuck off. From what you've said it doesn't seem that she has ever considered your feelings, so why should you? She needs to grow up before she can start playing a mother or a granny. The last thing you need during labour and early days with baby is more stress.

gouda good to hear things are moving in the right direction You're full of hormones, your body is changing with you having no control over it, you are far from home, and you are soon going to be a mum. It's a lot of changes in such short space of time, be kind to yourself

Niff so sorry you're going through this, it must be so hard! Try to focus on the time you will be together again

So I finally got through to the MWs and my booking in is 2 weeks, I'll be 11 weeks! I wonder if there is some kind of baby boom going on Oh well at least I know when it is, but I really expected it to be much sooner. I hope there are not too many delays with the scan...

I've had 2 bits of toast for breakfast and just had 3 more... did I mention jaffa cakes?

I am eating giant chocolate buttons.

Hugs niff I live alone and I still don't like sleeping alone even though it happens fairly often! (DP is moving in during October, we've lived together plenty before but don't at the moment for various life reasons.) Sounds like you'll have lots to keep you distracted at least, it's good that you'll have support from both sets of parents.

jelly I agree with everyone else, I don't think that's unreasonable at all. I think you should decide what you're happy with (even if that's a single 15 minute visit or nothing at all) and hopefully your GPs will back you up as they've been so supportive haven't they. I'm sorry your mum is behaving that way.

looking I hope the GP is helpful - if not, see a different one! It's so hit and miss with GPs and mental health stuff. Keep seeing different ones until they help you. You're right that it won't get better on its own so it is great that you are asking for help.

I'm having lots of nightmares and I wake up exhausted and out of breath. My chest hurts likes I've run a marathon. DP said last night I was 'gasping for breath' in my sleep . Definitely going to mention this to the midwife next week.

One of the (non nightmare) dreams I had was that DP made us way more toast than we could eat and I was angry at him for wasting half a loaf of bread! Must be all the food talk!

The shaggers filled their old fred with cake talk (understandable) so I made a new one, I'll put the link here in case any of them lurk here but hopefully it'll get found!

I had a regular enormous bowl of shreddies for breakfast. Am now being stared at by a packet of malted milk with an accomplice packet of Nice biscuits

I'm going to be strong, though. I'll only eat one packet