We're peeing over pineapples because we ran out of sticks, but staring at lines is how we get our kicks! Fred 50 was lucky with 6 BFPs, and lots of grads are about to do babies! We are Just Shaggin 51

[lildottie]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 50 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2412816-There-was-a-viroid-named-Just-who-was-all-wanton-and-lust-But-her-fanjos-a-numpty-so-she-named-it-country-and-they-have-a-skittletits-bust-Its-JSing-50?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2415398-Breathing-through-the-scanxiety-putting-all-our-faith-in-Jill-and-fantasising-about-illicit-paddling-pools-and-fanjo-fans-its-JS-grads-thread-32" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2415890-Just-Mumming-Viroids-6-some-of-us-have-time-for-JSing-some-dont-but-were-all-grad-grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="//docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Oh wo-oo-w that's some seriously good rhyming there, lil! Love it!
BFPs ahoy!

Yesssssssss!!!! I got last post, yesssss!!!!! She's back in the game!

Lovely Fred title there lil. I didn't call in on the last Fred but I see you had a bumper crop of bfps yay shaggers.

Thanks Lil! Still afraid of Fred-starting here

Great title lil

Nice title Lil! BFPs ahoy! Lucky Fred!

Good work lil! Fingers crossed for another lucky thread...

Damn it, missed out on the post!

Great work on the last Fred JSing team - some most excellent shagging!

top marks lil ponders if pineapple is ripe yet

in the style of yesteryear (aka fred 30ish ) & because i feel like being nostalgic...
name:5hell
age: 34
dc: 0 (2 dogs)
ttc: 7 months

on CD25, which means AF could arrive anytime between today and next tuesday based on previous cycles...keeping me on my toes (i'm not complaining as I know many would kill for a 25-31 day range!)

work week just gets worse and worse....oh how i hate science sometimes

Thanks for new Fred lil

I'm in need of a hooyah. The crazies have got me good and proper. I'm exhausted, nauseous and have been for about 3/4 weeks. Af came sort of on time but was longer and lighter than normal and virtually completely painless which is odd. Now on cd13 and am actually considering poas. Wtaf is wrong with me! Had ewcm last night and got a bfn day before af came so have no actual reason to think I may be upduffed, just talked myself into the idea I might be! Am not going to poas but a telling off is still required I think.

Name: Tink
Dcs: none
Cats: 2
Dogs: 1
Age: 33
Frame of mind: nutcase

Hooyah Tink

Hooyah tink

...saying that, if you think it'll settle your mind to get a bfn at this stage in view of you 'symptoms', then perhaps POAIC? (ducks to avoid slaps coming her way for encouraging POAS at cd13!!!)

How long you been on those fancy drugs again, Tink? Hooya if it's less than a month...otherwise it might be worth answering the question once and for all.

Name: Chat
Age: 33
DC: DD, 3.10. DS, forever 36/40.
Cats: One neurotic tabby
Frame of mind: wobbly; somewhere between serene and completely batty

So, 24 hours from now I might know why my baby died. Or I might be told I'll never know. Preparing for that in the only way possible: glitter glue with a 3yo followed by wine and takeaway with friends.

tink Please join me in poas for a Scientific Reason? I just poas at 6dpo to check if the hcg from the trigger shot 8 days ago was out of my system yet in case I need to poas and feel confused by the result before going for my bloods at 14dpo. Which I obviously won't. It still felt very wrong to do it. I wouldn't mind someone sharing the load in a "just to settle my mind" sort of way.
blinks innocently at tink

Oh Tink sweetie. Don't be crazy.

Lovely title Lil! P.S. how long until you start your second cycle?

Name: Aufwiedersehenpetrach
Dcs: 1, 15 months, trying #2
Cats: 2
Alcohol: if you insist
Age: Late 30s
Cycle: 8
Frame of mind: I've already eaten wa-aa-ay too much today.

Fancy drugs = 2 weeks.

Poaopk and got a faint line for the first time ever! (Don't usually use opks much though) normally they go blank to dark with no build up! Oooohh, have fuelled my own crazy! Also caught a blob of last nights jizz in the roc and completely disgusted myself. Am not pissing on anything any more, let's pretend this never happened. although, am now dreaming of getting bfp at the end of this cycle and then finding out I'm a month ahead, shoot me now

We can't shoot you tink, not with such curious news.

Oh and thaa-aaa-aank you tink. :)

Oh yeah, stats...

Name: Sock
DC: 0
Animals: 0
TTC: 9 months
NFMV: currently CD48 I think. BFN a week ago, not bothering to check again as almost certain it's down to the PCOS. Not had much in the way of shagging action for a while either.

What did I do auf? Did I make you feel less crazy or is it lil you is meaning to thank? What is hcg trigger shot for, does it make you do a line, can I have one?

name: lil
age: 30
dcs: STILL 0
pets: 0
sanity: 00
ttc#1 since Nov 12. one ivf pg ending in mc. to answer honeys qn, AF due Sunday and I phone clinic to start bcp. think I'll start injecting late Aug.

auf I thought u were just on the progesterone, y the hcg trigger? have I missed that u r doing ivf or something?

glad u all like the title! it was a tough one in such a rush.

chat I'm not starting any more after this one now. this one should be finished before I start injecting, la or dulcet can start my next bfp thread for me. you can hand them the baton. as for glitter glue and , sounds perfect. we'll be here for you tomorrow whatever the news.

chat I've been trying to think of something helpful to say but I can't, everything sounds wrong. Just know I have all fingers and toes crossed for you that you get whatever news tomorrow that you want to hear. So glad you are battling on with glitter glue and wine, I think you are awesome

tink shared crazy is half the crazy. See?
The trigger shot is supposedly to make you ovulate and ostensibly to help lengthen your LP although I'm not sure how. Them fertility doctors gave it me and told me I'd ovulate on the 10th and to have appropriate sexy times. As if I wasn't already. sighs Because it is HCG the HPT will pick it up and give you a positive even though you're possibly not upduffed at all. It makes the 2ww even more ridiculous!
And yes, yes you can have one. Let me just get my dark web stock order form out. Alternatively, you can ask the doctor.
There is that curious line on your opk though?

lil not IVF but the gurus surprisingly threw almost everything at me in one go! I got letrozole, an hcg shot, and the progesterone for this cycle. I'm wondering if I'm inadvertently signed up for a research study or something?
sock sorry, I've forgotten, but have you got a pcos diagnosis?