Jan 2016 #5 - Scanxiety, sickness and sweet relief as we approach the second trimester!

[TeenieDeenie]

STATS

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12-46WHExOXbKsKon2nKyEth9RRyKw9paIw4V4SGTFE8/edit?usp=sharing

Sorry haven't been on for a while, busy being back at work from mat leave and DS being poorly.

Sorry to hear you've had worrying news fisher, as others have said there is still a good chance that everything is ok. I would def recommend Harmony. Results came back by phone within 8 days, letter within 12 days.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's sad news mrsfaz.

Congrats on good scan news to those I've missed!

That's so sad Mrs Faz!!
Hope she is ok xxx

Does anybody know the percentage of pregnancies that don't carry on past 12 weeks? Not that it will stop me worrying any less...

No idea Brooke. I sort of want to know but whatever information I have I'm sure I'll find something else to worry about. Right now I just want to see a wriggly healthy little bean. Scan is at 1pm. How dare they make me wait until that many hours into the day!

Oh god that's had me googling post 12w miscarriage stats... Need to step away from Google.

my mum lost her first baby at 14weeks too! bless your poor friend so sad!!
pregnancy is the one of the most scariest + exciting times of our life's .. its a bloody rollercoaster.

My DM and DMIL both lost their 3rd babies at 9 months. The worry never stops and frankly it's pointless to spend the whole time worrying as it's unlikely it would be something you could have changed.

i know i shouldn't have. . but! I've looked on baby center and chance of losing a baby after 12weeks says 2% which is really low isn't it!?

I always work percentages like that out with people to make it easier ..So 2% would be 2 women out of 100....:(

sorry bee i cross posyed.. that's so very sad to lose a baby at such a late stage

I don't see how it's 2% when the risk of miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat at 10 weeks is less than 1%? That statistic is from the miscarriage association too, pretty sure I trust them.

So sorry about your friend mrsfaz it's really sad. But it's very unusual, and unlucky, for that kind of thing to happen at that stage, after seeing a healthy baby at 12 weeks. I don't think there's any benefit in any of us getting wound up or worried about it.

missmartin is this where you found that info www.babycentre.co.uk/a1014773/understanding-late-miscarriage

If so it says 1 or 2 in every 100 miscarriages, that doesn't mean 1-2%. Say 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, it means 1 or 2% OF THOSE may be a late miscarriage. Not 1-2% of all pregnancies!

I agree looking (though not easy. We're prob going to go with harmony as we'd want to know. But little else we can do now, but hope for the best.

So sorry to hear about your friend faz. Sadly, there's always a chance. My mum had MCs at 12, 12 and 20 weeks before me. You just never know.

Just got to look after yourself and try not to worry. Likelihood is low and there's very little we can do.

Awful news about your friend mrsfaz, so sad

Tonic can you explain more about the childcare voucher thing? I don't really understand it!

I'm planning to finish on 11th December for annual leave, then maternity will kick in 4th January. Hoping to go back next October (I only get statutory maternity but hopefully we can make it work!). Will be asking for part time hours (3 days a week) but who knows if they'll give me them!

Sorry about your friend mrsfaz such sad news.

Well we told everyone at work today, and i texted all my friends (not a big fan of the FB reveal after far too many baby bombs when we were struggling/after miscarriage). Everyone was excited for us, and one of my best friends texted back to say she is 11 weeks pregnant :-) She has a nearly one year old son and her sister is 20 weeks pregnant (one of the aforementioned baby bombs!). It will be lovely to be able to see more of her as we will both be off at the same time. She lives about 30 miles away but it will be much easier than it is now, with us both working.

We also told my boys about their baby sister - they were both so excited, and cannot wait to meet her. They are 9 (tomorrow) and 11 (next week) and were so sweet.... I teared up!

So all in all a lovely day, although i am shattered now as it is oast my bedtime!

kep your boys' reactions are really sweet. We haven't told our boys yet (7, 8 and 11) because we haven't got our harmony results, but I don't think they'll be too fussed. I think the oldest would rather have a pet snake and the youngest would rather have a cat. We'll wait and see.

it was just the first thing i saw looking i must have read it wrong, Sorry x
this is what read. . if the loss happens between 12 weeks and 24 weeks, it is called a late miscarriage.
Late miscarriage is much less common. It happens in about two per cent of pregnancies. Late pregnancy loss can be very hard to bear. At this stage, for many parents, the term "miscarriage" doesn't do justice to the depth of sorrow they feel at losing their baby.

Hope nobody minds a self indulgent whinge, I just need to vent.

I've had a terrible work day, I've been in the same business for 8 years, been promoted twice, had great appraisals and always max out on my bonus. I love what I do, but the company has changed, becoming greedy and self serving - not that I share these views. Today is our annual pay review - bear in mind I announced my pregnancy to work yesterday - and as of today I apparently am under performing! I'm devastated, the argument they have is completely unfounded, and I can easily disprove. Didn't see this coming, I now need to document everything knowing I'm well protected by the law, but feeling really let down by the business I've poured my heart and soul into.

Orange- basically childcare vouchers are a salary sacrifice scheme. So your company take the money directly from your wage before tax/NI is deducted, so you save ££.

When you're on mat leave, then your company have to continue with your contributions even if you earn nothing and can't deduct money from SMP. Free money!!! So they effectively foot the bill as soon as your occupational mat scheme runs out.

The scheme is capped at £200 and odd (can't remember exact figure) so there is a limit. But if you definitely know you want a nursery/registered cm, then worth signing up pre-mat leave.

Anyway, you can let the funds build up during mat leave and start to use them whenever you're ready. Mine sit in a holding account which my employer pay them into.

Ready-that's horrendous!

Tonic ahh thanks! That does make sense. So it's like a pension and they also contribute? Can they just pay it into your normal bank account with your wages? Or does it need to go somewhere else? Don't worry about answering, I'll do some reading up!

Ready that sounds totally awful. Definitely keep records of everything going forward and dig out any positive emails you have received about your work.

My news has gone down like a cup of cold sick at work, too many other pregnancies. But I was expecting a muted response so I was prepared!!

Tonic do you mean that if you have no DC and you register for cc vouchers pre mat leave,you can accrue whilst on mat leave? Or is this if you have DC already in childcare?

ready thats so unfair! yep keep i note of everything so they can't try anything if that's what they are planning. . so mean. . hope your okay x

Ready that sucks. Do they have any "evidence" to back that up with?

Sorry everyone didn't mean to scare anyone into thinking about percentages of miscarrying after 12 weeks ..... It's quite rare I think and have to remember that more likely to carry to term than it is to happen! It's just sad!

Had to look out my maternity uniform for work tomorrow .... It's awfuk but can no longer fit into my normal one without bursting out of it