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Original poster

Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for our rainbows

999 replies

townsender · 28/04/2015 20:53

Welcome to the thread, for anyone pregnant with a rainbow baby following baby loss.
A lot of us have graduated from the TTC angels and rainbows thread, but please feel free to join us if you are new, to share our highs and lows as we watch our bumps grow and await the safe arrival of our rainbows.

The current TTC thread is here:
Link

OP posts:
April1984 · 08/08/2015 22:38

Hi I'm posting and running but just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the advice. I think saying something along the lines of what chottie has suggested will work. Town yes you're right that everyone in the class will be a decent gestation - 28 weeks or more and so if I add that he was premature then maybe that gets round the issue of potentially stressing people out (tho I appreciate I shouldn't necc worry about that).

I was thinking maybe 'We are expecting our second baby boy after having had our first son (name) in December. Sadly (name) was born prematurely and passed away a few weeks after he was born.
So we are grateful to now to be x weeks and are looking forward to meeting this baby in November'.

I think that is about enough without saying too much. Sometimes I feel like I need to say everything to help make them understand but recently I have been very slowly and sadly coming to terms with he fact that whatever you say no one can ever ever u see stand unless it's happened to them.

The midwife running he class knows as my friend who recommended her classes filled her in with my permission.

Thanks again, hope everyone's well x

kayleighferrie1985 · 09/08/2015 08:56

town that's fab news about your MRI Grin.

april glad you've worked out what you're comfortable saying at the classes.

AFM had a bit of an organising day yesterday, the moses basket is now in our room and the pram is downstairs, was shattered by the evening, so today we're going to a local air show with friends and their dc's. Just hope the weather holds.

Love to all xx

Chottie · 09/08/2015 13:40

Hi April - I'm glad you've found some words you feel comfortable with Flowers.

pocopearl · 09/08/2015 18:13

Hi
Please can I join
just found out am with DC2, have been TTC for 2 years and in that time have had 4 MC.
Very nervously declaring my BFP even though am terrified.

3littlebadgers · 09/08/2015 19:42

Welcome pocopearl, congratulations on your bfp and sorry about your miscarriages Sad I wish very much you didn't have to find your way here, but you are in good company. I have found so much comfort and support here from these amazing ladies, if anyone will get you through the next nine months it will be them. The best of luck to you Flowers

3littlebadgers · 09/08/2015 19:44

April I think that sounds like a perfect balance. I don't think you will scare anyone with the way you have described and it sounds full of love for your little angel and tiny rainbow.

kayleighferrie1985 · 09/08/2015 22:58

Welcome pocopearl congratulations on your bfp, and also very sorry to hear about your miscarriages. The ladies here are amazing with their support and comfort.

3littlebadgers · 10/08/2015 08:51

Hello ladies, hope you are all doing well and today will be a good one for you all. I have my first consultant appointment today. It is with the consultant who broke my water when I was in labour with my precious girl Sad I'm a bit worried that seeing her again will bring it all back and I'm also worried about what will happen during the meeting. Will she just come up with a plan of action with me or will there be anything else? I have a million things I want to ask her. But is it too early to ask these questions? I'll be 14 weeks tomorrow. I want to ask her if she will induce me early, I really don't want to get anywhere near where I was with my angel. How early can/should I push for? I want to know if they can break my water even if I go into labour naturally, my water never goes on it's own and I don't get past 3-4 cm unless they have gone. When I was in my final weeks I told the midwives that they would need to break my water and the midwife who saw me said that she would never do that, that I had been badly informed before and that it might take longer to dialate but that it would happen and it would be kinder to my baby, that the water cushions their heads and to break my waters would be cruel, so I stupidly believed her. I had had quite intense stop start contractions every 2 minutes for hours at a time, and told the midwives who all would say, steps in the right direction and record it as 'niggles'. I had her on the Thursday but on the Tuesday I started contracting again just before 3pm they continued untill after 3am and had gotten 1minute and 40 seconds apart. I was in agony and was pushing my back into the doorframe just to receive the pressure. I was still only 3cm and then I became exhausted and just like the times before everything stopped. she died somewhere between then and the THURSDAY but I have no idea when as I could still feel her moving Sad rightly or wrongly I blame myself for not pushing the waters thing. I need more than anything for them to agree to that. Lastly I want them to agree to giving me extra scans because feeling the movements I don't think will ease my mind that all is ok. I'm going to sound so much like a neurotic pain in the bum. I guess maybe I am.

zombiemeow · 10/08/2015 10:57

Welcome poco.

3, make sure you don't leave that appointment without feeling completely satisfied that you are happy with your care. Have you got someone going with you? I found it helped having someone with me and telling them everything first so if I forgot to say something, didn't want to push them, they could help out.

I was told I could have a c sec at 39 weeks or be induced at 38 weeks although dependant on anxiety they would be happy to do either at 37 weeks. They agreed to 3 weekly scans, again dependant on how anxious I was, they changed it later to fortnightly scans and weekly monitoring at Mac (which later changed to daily monitoring).

I spent most of my time at the hospital Grin so don't worry about sounding crazy or anything do what you need to to keep your mind at rest.

In the end I was offered induction at 36 weeks after I had a full on breakdown around 35/36 weeks and completely convinced myself that ds had gone Sad but I agreed to daily monitoring and induction at exactly 37 weeks. They even said if I wanted I could go for monitoring in the morning and evening Blush but even I thought that might be a bit much! Grin

At my consultant appt we basically went through a plan for all my care and the week in which I would have induction. But they messed my care up from the start so my consultant appt wasn't until 26 weeks.

You may find that as its the person who broke your waters they are more sympathetic towards you. I had a different consultant as I wasn't happy with mine and it turned out to be the lady who was on duty the day I went in with dd and she had to come and give me some tablets and things Sad she was absolutely lovely to me.

3littlebadgers · 10/08/2015 11:50

Thank you zombie you are a star, DH is going to try and come with me, but he is on nights and my appointment is 20 minutes before he would norm ally leave for work. So depending upon how on time they are he may or may not manage to be there for some of it. I tried to rearrange but the woman on the phone was less than sympathetic and tried to point out how busy they all were, I said I understood but if they could keep my name down for a cancelation, I live close and would come at any time. She laughed at me and said 'as if people round here would bother phoning in to cancel.' Nice! I am going to jot down everything you have said my lovely x

kayleighferrie1985 · 10/08/2015 12:15

3little i hope your appointment goes well today- don't be scared to ask as many questions as you need to. At my initial consultant appointment i wasn't really told much about the care plan, but was told there would be extra scans and appointments. It was agreed i could be induced at the appointment i had at 28 weeks.

AFM 36 weeks today, got the consultant tomorrow to hopefully get my induction date (fingers crossed i don't get the arsehole doctor). Had the most awful backache after my steroid injections which keeps coming and going in varying scales, and them my boobs started leaking last night Hmm

3littlebadgers · 10/08/2015 17:40

Kayleigh I love the fact you have leaky boobs! Grin it is such a happy sign of a nearly there baby. Fingers tightly crossed for lovely doctor tomorrow and a lovely lovely induction date of love, joy and happiness! I can see the light at the end of the rainbow cave for you.
Afm consultant appointment went as well as it could go. I feel happy with it and that is the main thing. My blood pressure was very high but I think that was down to anxiety. I had a bit of a cry and she was very understanding and lovely. She did a little mini scan with a hand held thingy that we definitely need to get for the cave! It was grainy but I could see my tiny baby moving and most importantly I could see it's heart beating Smile. She said regular scans in the third trimester, she will induce me past 38 weeks (which in my mind means exactly 38 weeks) and she said yes to breaking waters after a couple of hours of monitoring. Ooh and she is putting me in contact with the maternity psychologist. I feel as if she cares and I'm in safe hands.
Thank you so much to you lovely ladies for being there for me, this would be a million times harder if it wasn't for your support. Flowers

zombiemeow · 10/08/2015 18:56

Kayleigh hope your appointment goes well Grin

3, great to hear you are reassured Smile it makes you feel so much reassured when you know what the plan is Smile

kayleighferrie1985 · 10/08/2015 19:23

3little i wish i loved my leaky boobs haha- it baffled me if i'm honest because they've always leaked after the birth of the other dc's. I'm so pleased your consultant appointment went well and that you feel well cared for, and also that you know what the plan is- i found that helped immensely.

Original poster
townsender · 10/08/2015 22:03

Just logged on and saw all your posts today 3little. I'm so glad it went well for you today. It makes such a difference having a nice consultant. And I've never seen a handheld scanner thing - definitely sounds like one for the cave! (give it a year or so and I bet you'll be able to get them on Amazon).

OP posts:
3littlebadgers · 10/08/2015 23:21

Ooh town I'm off to check Amazon! Grin Kayleigh I think squirty boobs are your body's way of letting you know that you can do this!

LittleTulip · 11/08/2015 08:38

Hi ladies, just checking in quickly.

You are all doing absolutely fantastic, I'm looking forward to some birth announcements in the next few weeks.

BabyTulip is now 11 weeks old and is an absolute joy. He has however also highlighted how much we missed with little angel 'A'. It is coming up to what would be his 2nd birthday and my heart is in shreds about it already.

3littlebadgers · 11/08/2015 12:19

Tulip congratulations on BabyTulip Smile I'm sorry you are having a hard time approaching little angel 'A's birthday, I have yet to experiance my angels birthday so I can only imagine how it must be for you. I'm wishing you peace and strength over the coming weeks. Are you doing anything to mark the occasion?

kayleighferrie1985 · 11/08/2015 13:02

tulip good to hear baby tulip is doing well Smile sending you love and hugs as you approach A's 2nd birthday, i hope the time between now and then is gentle on you Flowers

pocopearl · 11/08/2015 20:13

Ladies, I am 4+3 and i know that some crampy pain is normal, but i can't remember what is and what is mc. Im having some little cramping, but my pee stick line is still getting darker and no spotting. I know I am worrying I think I just need someone to tell me its ok. So worried probably for no good reason. I wish I could enjoy this pregnancy.

3littlebadgers · 11/08/2015 20:56

Pocopearl I definately had aches in the early days. I think some of it can be down to implantation and everything changing. Could you ask them to give you an early scan to put your mind at rest?

pocopearl · 11/08/2015 21:06

I would 3 but have not registered with drs yet, have just moved last week, and keep trying to get up there but would be easier if I didnt have a toddler. I dont know how easy it is to get scans over here as might not be the same as in England.

3littlebadgers · 11/08/2015 21:40

Oh my lovely, then for the time being try to rest as much as you can with a toddler. The fact that the lines are getting darker would suggest the hormones are increasing nicely which I am guessing is one of the things they would look for anyway. I'm keeping everything crossed for you. It is hard to stay possitive after loss but you will be supported well here x

kayleighferrie1985 · 12/08/2015 12:02

poco i'd agree with 3 about the lines getting darker, i can't remember if i had any cramps so not much use to you i'm afraid. How are things today? Hope you're managing to get some rest- although i know myself that it's not that easily done with a toddler running around.

AFM well i finally got to see my actual consultant yesterday haha. He was happy with baby's growth ect, and gave me a choice on whether i wanted to carry on until 40 weeks or stick to the induction plan. I explained how the last 2 weeks have been a lot harder because of being past the stage where we lost Ben and that i wanted to stick to 37 weeks and he accepted that and ok'd it Grin. So, i'm going in on Monday all being well (just waiting on a phone call to confirm what time ect.)

Love to you all xx

pocopearl · 12/08/2015 19:29

kayleigh i had some really sharp twinges this morning, and some like spasmy type pain this morning. I keep going to the toilet to check no spotting. sat on sofa with blanket and caffeine free tea feeling sorry for myself, line was still a little darker this afternoon though so i think i am worrying over nothing. I am just so terrified of having another loss. It would be my 5th in 2 years. Trying to be positive.