Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for our rainbows

[townsender]

Welcome to the thread, for anyone pregnant with a rainbow baby following baby loss.
A lot of us have graduated from the TTC angels and rainbows thread, but please feel free to join us if you are new, to share our highs and lows as we watch our bumps grow and await the safe arrival of our rainbows.

The current TTC thread is here:
Link

winter that's a fab picture! I'm a bit like you re: when i'm laid down there's not really a bump but there is when i'm upright, and the baby likes to lie in a funny way across the bottom of my belly when i'm in bed. Hope all goes well with your scan and consultant tomorrow.

flambola i know a few people who have started crocheting, and they all say it's very relaxing- i wish i had the skill/patience to do something like that. Also on hearing the heartbeat.

AFM busy week for me. The town where i live has our "Club Day" on Saturday (it's like a town gala where all the schools and churches participate in a parade in the morning and there's a funfair in town for the weekend) so i'm busy getting things ready for the barbecue we'll be hosting, and i've got my first extra scan on Friday so that should be a nice start to the weekend.

Love to all xx

You do sound very busy! And yay for extra scans! It'll be nice to see the baby waving - I have one tomorrow which I'm dreading/looking forward to.

I'm desperate to find out the sex!

Scan went well.. Massive sigh of relief!! He was in an awkward position, so had to run up a few flights of stairs to jig him about so she could scan the heart.. But all seemed to be present & correct. Saw his gorgeous lips and nose.. Looked just like his brothers :) Confirmed again that he is most definitely a boy so feeling confident with preparing DS for a brother!

Saw the consultant afterwards to further clarify plan of action - she asked if I wanted scans at 24weeks/28weeks etc.. I took her up on the 28wk scan as it'll be nice to have something to look forward to - but declined the 24weeks & probably won't have many more additional ones because they just don't reassure me that much. They could have scanned me on the morning of my abruption and might not have seen anything suspicious.. She's very confident that last time was a freak occurrence & would put money on it not happening this time round - so my chances of taking home a baby this time seem pretty good

When I see her for my growth scan she's hoping to book in my section date so that I've got something to count down to - I love that bloody woman..

I was open with her about my increased anxiety - normally I'm quite a cool cucumber ha but I can feel the anxiety creeping in - quite disconcerting because I'm normally so in control.. (the anticipation of the scan will have been affecting me no doubt)..

I'm just counting down the days until we can get him out :) although I'm sure that's true for most of us!

kayleigh your club day sounds fun! How lovely.. I hope all goes well & yay for the extra scan - I hope you get a sense of reassurance from it.. Fx

Flambola good luck for tomoro - oooo let us know if you're team pink or blue if you find out :) how exciting!

Hi ladies!
Sorry this is a quickie. So lovely to see all the pregnancies are going well, winter love your pic!
As for monitors we have just bought the Angelcare AC1110 - it's on offer in Boots if anybody is interested.
As for me - little man is doing great on SCBU. He is on ebf only, I am expressing every 3 hours and he is being tube fed however he is really trying to latch on, until he falls asleep! Critter how are you, must be 35 weeks now?
I keep telling myself he wouldn't be here yet anyway so me and dh are trying to catch up on all the shopping and preparing his room in between spending the day at the hospital!

Waves to all as been a crap supporter last few weeks but slipped into feeling shitty and not excited at all..however back to it and feeling better so just caught up with you all!

little tulip well done on the trying to latch on, it takes the littlies a while to do it, our DS at 33 weeks struggled and it's tough in that SCBU when all you want is them home, you sound like you're doing a fantastic job!

FLambola fingers crossed for tomorrow, let us all know x

winter as if you can see poky bits already!! I'm 22 weeks now and just about making out kicks from the outside. Your clearly growing a beaut in there! X I'm the same with you for extra scans etc as well. Don't really offer the reassurance we desperately crave them too.

Sorry not to name check everyone, just going off to finish school work that needs doing to tide me over with some planning for the next couple of weeks x

Fab picture winter! I'm 24 weeks and definitely haven't seen anything quite that obvious. I think I was about 22 weeks when I realised I had a bump when lying down as well as standing up, and it got harder to turn over in bed.
Great news about the scan too! Flambola, good luck with yours tomorrow. And Kayleigh for your scan on Friday. I'm feeling left out - just a 'midwife' appointment tomorrow (actually a GP cause they have a shortage of midwives here )
Tulip, lovely to hear from you and sounds like miniTulip is doing fantastically well.

Thanks ladies re: pic. Nice to hear how all of your bumps are coming along :)

I fell asleep tonight on my bed - dressed with a full face of make up.. DH didn't wake me up as I looked 'dead to the world' - not the best choice of phrase when I've recently had anxiety about dying in my sleep! (Very random, out of the blue anxiety of mine!)

Anybody else having the wackiest dreams? In early pregnancy they were really vivid - that wore off a few weeks back, only to be replaced by absolutely bonkers content!

tulip brilliant to hear your DS is doing well & well done you for expressing - Not an easy task in itself..

Hi vicky - Glad to hear you're on an up wave atm.. May it long continue :)

town crap to hear there's a shortage of MWs near you.. Hope all goes well at your appt for Friday..

Hey everyone,

Glad things are going well Tulip. I expressed every 3 hours for my angel, it's hard work to express without your baby with you so well done you!

Good luck to all those having scans. I've got my 20 week scan a bit early on Monday. Then we will decide how often to scan me after that. I'm thinking at least 2 weekly but I may need more TLC as I approach the time I had my angel, 24 + 5 x

Hi Tulip, I'm so glad to hear everything's going ok and your little boy is doing well!

So, I'm having a girl! I was quite stoic when the midwife was looking at her heart and legs and nostrils etc but she switched over to 3D quite suddenly and when I saw her little face, that was it, the waterworks arrived. I was like 'nooo, my makeup!'... So I have a little 3D pic of her to cherish now and I'm ok for today.

Fab news Flambola! Was that your 20 week scan? Congrats on being team pink! X

Aww congrats Flambola!!!

Thanks everyone - it was just a reassurance scan as I'm 18 weeks. I'm so happy I can barely concentrate at work!

My anomaly isn't until 21 weeks so the 1st July, but it seems like everything is ok in there.

Does anyone else feel like me - ecstatic for a day and then back to mind-numbing anxiety?!

winter glad to hear your scan went well and that all is well. Your consultant sounds lovely too, i've found having a "countdown" has helped a little so far. I have started talking in my sleep- mainly about food , i've woken dh on more than one occasion (strangely this only happens when i'm carrying girls as it happened with dd- dh had a 20 minute conversation with me about mashed potato that time ).

tulip lovely to hear from you, and it's fab that your little man is doing so brilliantly too. You sound like you're doing fab also.

flambola congrats on being team pink! I think it's just me and you so far (apologies if i'm wrong), and glad all seems ok. I'm a bit like you with the feelings swinging from one to the other, i think it's part and parcel though unfortunately.

Love to all xx

Sorry I have been missing! My phone wasn't e mailing me when someone posted!

Kayleigh that is hilarious about the talking in your sleep!! hope your less lobsterish now. And good luck for the scan!

Flambola how did your mw appt go? Hope things have eased for you now. Yay for the hb! A rainbow blanket sounds lovely and at the girl!

Glad things are going well winter, it's so reassuring when you have a good consultant isn't it.

Little, sounds like littlelittle is doing well

Vicky, sorry to hear you have been feeling crap recently. So bloody stressful isn't it!

Sorry that I have missed stuff! So hard to namecheck when on the phone!

X

Tulip so thrilled mini tulip is doing well.

Winter such an awesome bump pic!

Flambola congrats on joining team pink.

We had our 22 week Doppler scan today. Placenta is anterior so may not feel many kicks good job body!! Bound to not help with the anxiety, think I'm going to be a crazy lady who is at the hospital at least twice a week!!! Baby lake is reluctant to reveal it's gender it hid at the 20 week scan and had it's legs firmly clamped together.
The consultant has booked scans for 28 and 32 weeks and hopefully if baby is still on track I'll only need one at 36 then after that we will discuss induction.
I saw the counsellor on Monday who really reassured me in terms of the gender of the baby and about the induction. She said one of her recent mums said she wanted to be induced at 37 weeks then as that got close changed her mind and the consultant was happy for her to decide on an almost day to day basis as to when she wanted to be induced.
I'm quite liking all these scans as it definitely breaks down the remaining time in manageable chunks. Although annoying they can't spread it all out as I currently have 5 appointments within 10days of each other at about 28 weeks. 1 counsellor appt, GTT, MW appt for GTT results, consultant appt and 28 week scan!!

Lake don't you worry, I was usually at the hospital at least twice a week! Do what ever you need to do to keep sane! I found having so many appointments definitely helps break the time down x

ducky i'm not as red now, but i'm now a peeling, itchy mess haha which is almost as bad as the soreness of the initial sunburn. Although i should point out i have since invested in some suncream and have been applying it frequently in the hope i don't burn any more.

Lake sorry to hear about the placenta position, as you say it probably won't help the anxiety, but i doubt anyone will think you're a crazy lady if you do end up at the hospital a few times. Your scans are for the same times my extra ones are (although i've got the first one tomorrow but i'm not 28 weeks until Monday). I know what you mean regarding appointments- i've got the scan and seeing the bereavement midwife and nurse tomorrow, the consultant on Tuesday and my GTT on Wednesday, and at some point i need to get my whooping cough jab done.

Love to all xx

Hi all, just a quick one.

Just noticed you said you had an anterior placenta Lake. I had this with my angel and I also didn't feel kicks for quite a while but then out of nowhere I felt them, probably around the 23 week mark and more consistently after 24 weeks so you may not have too long at all to wait for kicks!

Hello!

I've also got lots of appointments in week 28 - I guess it's the end of 2nd trimester so that's the way the schedule works. Midwife appt, Scan, and Consultant appt.
My GTT date has just come through the post though. I thought it would be during week 28, but actually I'll be 26+5. Exactly the same gestation when I went into labour with Grace. I'm sure it's a complete coincidence, but nice that I won't be tempted to go and camp out at the hospital on that date, as I'll be there anyway!

Flambola, great to hear your scan went well. I felt so relieved after my scan I just felt totally drained of energy. But it soon wore off, indeed, that low level niggling anxiety returned pretty quickly.

I definitely feel different in myself now that I've reached 24 weeks. A bit less anxious, for sure, and in my subconscious I know that I am now having a baby. But I have a strange feeling that I'm going to have my baby very soon. And almost that I WANT my baby very soon, like, better out than in. Basically, think I trust the NICU more than my body. A very strange feeling. Anyone else had that?

Bloody exhausted today so not name-checking. Someone asked about dreams? I have had a couple of extremely vivid, disturbing dreams - and a very nice one with Tom Hardy .

Just trying to do some sort of list so I can see where everyone is and I think it's something like this atm:

Critter - 34w
Kayleigh - 27
town - 24
Lake - 22
vicky - 22
April - 20/21
winter - 20
Flambola - 18

Have I missed someone? My brain is mush.

But bloody hell, seems like there'll be an influx of little rainbows at around the same time, if I have it right?!

Hey

Thanks for the list Flambola. I'm actually 19 weeks today.

town, honestly I feel the opposite re the NICU. I'm absolutely petrified of spending even one minute there. For us the NICU was amazing but also the most harrowing place I've been all in one. I have been diagnosed with PTSD which is mainly NICU related. I do get what you mean but although they were amazing and undoubtedly saved our baby and kept him well for 2 weeks, the NICU also was why he died. The many tubes he needed caused the infection, which is so common in premie babies. I honestly feel sick the thought of even a day there. Obviously avoiding the NICU is the ideal and I have no doubt that they do amazing things. I'm really unsure how I will feel at 24 weeks. For me i think I'll be my most scared whereas when I get to 26 I think I'll feel better. It's strange isn't it. Every day makes such a big difference after 24 weeks and sounds like you're doing great!

X

Ps I've had crazy dreams! Quite a few sex ones too! maybe because sex is banned for me!

I'm 23 weeks today due 9/10 although not sure I'll hang on till October!!

I have very weird vivid dreams when pregnant. Last night I had the baby and it started talking to me straight after delivery!!

Hello beautiful ladies,

Quick work post - things have been crazy and I've been checking on my phone but it's so much easier to post on a laptop!

tulip that's great news about your beautiful boy trying to latch, bless his little heart. So cute that he falls asleep! I bet he is an absolutely gorgeous little squish. Did you have a c section in the end? I'm 35 +1 and my doctor has booked me for a section at 38 weeks - originally it was 39 but I asked if we could do it earlier.

flambola I welled up a bit reading your post, how lovely that you're having a little girl, congratulations! It definitely does seem like there's a whole crop of rainbows due in the autumn, lovely.

winter your bump is so cute! Lovely photo.

kayleigh how are you feeling? I hear the weather is gorgeous in the UK. When are you due? September?

april I've had anterior placenta both times too.

towns I agree with you about the NICU. It kills me that my little boy was fully cooked and totally healthy for two and a half weeks before his cord broke at 39 + 3 - I think back to my 38 and 39 week appointments and wish I could scream at myself to demand a c section then and there. And after he was born, when we were in the NICU there were all these tiny babies crying and then my chunky 7 lb 7 oz little chap was completely silent and it just gutted me. So I think this is so much to do with your experiences - if I'd lost him because he was premature or had caught a hospital infection I'm sure I'd feel differently.

Everything else is fine here. I can't believe I've got less than 3 weeks before my baby is out. Feel a bit guilty about doing another section (which is ridiculous as almost everyone here does repeat ELCS after having one) but I think that's just related to terror about the birth.

Big hugs to all of you and sorry for incomplete name check. Brain is like jelly!

town i have feelings like that too, the "better out than in", because this baby is quite active like Ben was i'm a bit worried that my placenta will get damaged again. Obviously no doctor has told me that Ben damaged my placenta by being so active, but the idea is there in my head all the same.

flambola you're spot on with me, i'll be 28 weeks this coming Monday .

critter lovely to hear from you. I'm technically due the start of September, but they've agreed to induce me in the 37th week, so rainbow will be an August baby. The weather here is nice, the odd rain shower but summer seems to have finally arrived. Gosh you'll soon be holding you precious rainbow in your arms.

AFM had my first extra scan yesterday, baby is deffo a girl (dh actually asked them to check ) and all looks good. She's still on the middle centile for growth so they're happy with that and there's a good amount of waters in there with her, and the placenta looks good. Busy day here as it's our club day (must remember sunscreen so i don't burn again) . Hope everyone has a nice weekend xx