The nice weather is making us crave burning meat on an outdoor fire, maternity leave is causing headache, and we are all soldiering on as the heat is getting to us - here is JS 26!

[Fattycow]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 26th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The thread we have graduated from is here in its 42nd outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread in postnatal clubs here for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

Here is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oLJqpadAb2givKYq8OJfGCti3s6xzsTGlI-GoaBfM_M/edit?pli=1#gid=0

pixie should I just do squeezes? I'll mention it to the midwife. If I sneeze away from home it will be a very embarrassing situation I think!

fatty eeewwwwww to golden showers! Your list is spot on. Big cheap knickers you don't mind chucking are handy but you have listed underwear. In the UK we need a £1 coin for a supermarket trolley but wheelchairs are for free. I think we have it the wrong way round here!

Ga! How the frick do you have time for afternoon cunningwhatsit anyway!? I agree, some pelvic floor exercises may be required...

Toast ... my cat left me a pile of regurgitated grass on the doorstep this morning... how kind!

It'll definitely be pelvic floor after childbirth Gaggia. I can save myself if I cross my legs in time. Otherwise I'm screwed.

gaggia, I think golden showers are gross too! All the cleaning...
You need a 50cents coin or a 1 euro coin for most supermarket trolleys, but our nearest hospital wants a 2 euro coin for the wheelchairs. Thankfully you don't need cash for the parking ticket machine, you can just pay with your debit card!

popz DD is at preschool and I'm part time. DP works odd shifts so afternoon sex is the norm. I'll wave fairwell to all that business once this one arrives.
Speaking of which my right nipple had sticky milk on it when I took my bra off! Eek! I'm not scared the women of my family are all 'early milkers'.

Thanks for the list Fatty. My pregnancy app also has one. I'll see if I can copy and paste

Mothers list:

Mother's bag

• birth plan
• book, magazine
• breast pads
• camera and batteries
• contact lens case / eyeglasses
• dressing gown
• ear plugs (for a noisy ward!)
• facecloth or fan
• gift for your older child(ren)
• glucose tablets, chewing gum
• going-home outfit
• hairband
• hairbrush
• healthy snacks
• hospital notes
• hot water bottle / heating pad
• insurance papers
• juice or bottles of water
• laundry bag for dirty clothes
• lip balm
• make-up and remover
• massage oil or lotion
• massage tools, essential oils
• maternity sanitary pads
• music, headphones
• nursing bra
• old or cheap underwear
• pen and paper
• playing cards / puzzle books
• slippers
• soap / scented bath gel
• socks
• tens pain relief machine
• this app!
• tissues
• toothpaste / toothbrush
• towels
• two long t-shirts for labour
• video recorder and batteries
• water spray to cool you down
• your own pillow

Partners list:

• book, magazine
• change of clothes
• comfortable shoes
• digital camera
• list of phone numbers
• loose change (parking/snacks)
• music, headphones
• paper and pencil / pen
• snacks and drinks
• this App to time contractions
• toothpaste / toothbrush

Baby list:

• 3 all-in-one stretchy outfits
• 3 muslin cloths / burp cloths
• bibs
• blanket to wrap the baby in
• car seat
• cardigan
• cotton balls
• hat
• jacket for winter babies
• nappy / diaper cream
• newborn nappies / diapers
• scratch mittens
• socks or booties
• soft toy / chime for newborn

Chatty chatsters. Ha ha giggling at poor gaggia. My pelvic floor is knackered too - always cross me legs when sneezing/coughing these days! La, I have rib flare too - weird sunburn-like feeling at top of bump. It has got better in last few weeks tho as baby has moved down. Only really hurts after too much scoffing! Been a Bit fed up & tearful this evening, combo of mad nesting instinct plus enormous belly & bad back is very frustrating!! Hurry up baby... Hope my other due buddies are holding up ok xx

Aww splodge! It'll be over soon!!
Fatty your list looks bang on, I agree about the big knickers , you need to fit those gigantic sanitary towels in them. Did I mention how glamorous giving birth was?
Good luck to everyone with impending births if you need any advice I'm Not the best person as I was off my tits on all sorts come to pushing!
Going to bed soon as I've been up since 4:30am thinking next door where practising for the river dance (when in fact they were getting all their shit pinched!) night all!

Gaggia- lots of squeezes as long as you can hold them for, 10 lots 3-4 times a day should do it. It'll stop you being a pissy pants! I still am for the time being.

Oh I have absolutely pissed on a toilet seat too rhi! I get very little warning between needing and wee and having to have a wee immediately. Gets messy!

Have you checked he wouldn't have enjoyed it a little gaggia? Some people pay extra for it! Maybe not in his eyes though... We all got told off for not doing the exercises at yoga this week. Must try harder!

What a stress pixie, great you were there to report though and hopefully help catch them.

So, miracle product was given to me by MIL was we had bad damp in bathroom before new windows and poor ventilation. She said it was great but I don't listen. On a whim I tried it on the ceiling when the new windows went in. Meant to spray, leave 5 mins and wipe but I sprayed and came back about 20 mins later and it was gone! So impressed. It's a dettol mould and mildew spray in a green bottle. Can take photo if needed. No idea on cost as I was given it but would buy again. Now slowly working around my bathroom with it doing there grouting!

Wasn't actually done with that! Hit post when waking to bed!

Two more things -

toast, if you leave it long enough the cat will eat it again. Or is that just mine!

la glad you got some answers. Does any of it impact your birth choices?

Anyway, last thing from me was I have my diabetes test tomorrow (routine) so that means I have half an hour to eat and then nothing until after 11 tomorrow! I've had custard creams, that might have to do.

What the aching fuck? Golden showers, pissing on dh during oral, cats regurgitating grass? What are you lot on about!?

Lemon - not scared of anything (just some humans as they can be vindictive backstabbing cruel cunts sometimes) but I hate wasps with passion, coz they are arseholes. Not scared of any animals because if you understand their behaviour you understand why they do something and you can anticipate the behaviour,

Pelvic floors gaggia! Get to it - now SQUEEZE!!

Splodge hooray you know what I'm talking about! Just like sunburn isn't it? So bizarre.

Purple I feel ok actually, I think on the whole I'm still pretty pain free. It's just when I'm tired or do anything strenuous. She did say it'll get worse as I get heavier.

Those lists terrified me!!

I can heartily recommend a couple of cheap carrier bags for taking dirty clothes home. Lots and lots of mat pads (I was changing them every hour for the first couple of days). It's also recommended you take nighties as well as/instead of pjs in case you have a catheter.

My friend also passed on some disposable bed mats which I didn't think I'd use much (Popz recommended puppy pads - same thing but cheaper). I used one in the last couple if weeks in case my waters went (only 10% of women will have their waters go before labour kicks off though). In the end my waters did go in bed but I realised something funny had happened and got to the bathroom before they escaped. They've been great since birth though for saving the mattress from blood and milk (nice!)

Wasps really are assholes.

I have both pissed on a toilet lid and on my forgotten knickers! Only when I'm very tired though or drunk

I thought my pelvic floor had escaped relatively unscathed but had a surprise leak after an unexpected sneeze earlier. Bad times

When I'd first given birth even walking quickly made me leak, I was glad I was wearing big knickers and thick pads! Sneezing or laughing was literally out of the question, it did ease off but now I'm pregnant again so quickly my pelvic floor is being worked overtime to the absolute max! I can just about sneeze without pissing but I daren't run!
There a car alarm on my street that's been going off for an hour. Don't worry nobody's trying to break into it.. I actually live on a really nice road believe it or not, it's the area a few streets behind that's questionable! Anyway it's doing my head in, think OH is annoyed too as he has his head well rammed under the duvet... Anyone think I should fart? Might get him back for doing a really smelly one yesterday and making me very nearly throw up. How DD still wants to be near him when he does that is beyond me. She doesn't even pull a face, then again she trumps all the time and sometimes smells worse than we dad!

Playing cards and puzzle books? Not if you're in the UK where they have you in hospital for shortest time possible. Maybe if you're induced you might have time for such things.

Ah La the sunburn thing used to drive me nuts. Good to know what it was.

I love my pregnancy app but it's americanised.
I coped the whole lists for you. I ticked the things I think we'll need on my list

Thanks Pis will remember carrier bags and nighties

I think we need to start baby shopping when we get back from holiday in June. I need to find out what we are being given

Argh woken at 5.30 by a bastard fox noisily ripping the netting off our side gate (which DP only repaired last night) and then going on rampage in our garden - shitting on the patio & eating DS's stomp rockets. Cheeky fucker. Don't know what to do about it - can't do any kind of high pitched noise deterrent or whatever as we have a cat. I can't believe it got through the netted-up gate - it's like bloody Houdini!

What's a stomp rocket splodge? Bloody fox though, he must love your garden!

I'm awake and I'm hungry - no talking about food until after lunch!

Splodge this is my area of business! Netting no good with foxes as they'll just rip it - too flimsy. Need wire mesh or a decent fence.

First question - why does it want in your garden? Wild animals hang around for 2 reasons - shelter or food. If food then remove access to it (are you putting out bird or hedgehog food?). If shelter then make it less appealing. I can email you link to info sheet about deterring them humanely.

Don't bother with high pitch thing it won't work, waste of money

Oh no pesky fox! My step grandmother (god rest her soul) used to have a friendly fox that would come into the garden and take food from her hands! Was very sweet when we realised it was a female fox who'd had two cubs and she brought those with her too. I was going to say though you need a proper chicken wire or something like that, however if there's something in your garden they really want they'll chew threw that as well!

Happy due date mini!

I've got day off today. Woke at 6:10 and have already had 2 emails and 3 texts from work people.

Fuckrightoff!

Need wee and dh is snoring loudly and unattractively with mouth open. Tempted to wee on his face and pretend accident a la gaggia.