The nice weather is making us crave burning meat on an outdoor fire, maternity leave is causing headache, and we are all soldiering on as the heat is getting to us - here is JS 26!

[Fattycow]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 26th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The thread we have graduated from is here in its 42nd outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread in postnatal clubs here for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

Here is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oLJqpadAb2givKYq8OJfGCti3s6xzsTGlI-GoaBfM_M/edit?pli=1#gid=0

I know the post you mean la, just don't look at it. You have very little control other than being sensible. You will gain weight, it might be more than some, it might be less but there is very little you can do about it. I am saying all of this knowing it's easier said than done and mainly repeating things DH has said to me over the past few weeks. I lost 5 stone to get pregnant and dread getting it back! I just haven't got on the scales unless midwife has told me to. (I am starting to get a bit distressed at my slightly sagging belly under my bump though... it's not hard like the rest!)

Did they say what skin cells in urine means? Sounds odd!

Is anyone here HR-y? I think there was. Was it you purple?

Strawberry gaviscon sound amazing! I have pharmacy issue 500ml peppermint bottles in every room in the house and decant into a smaller handbag bottle!

Midwife this morning, baby is engaged! YIKES!

Just got to get through today and tomorrow at work then I'm DONE.

wrt weight, DH caught me looking sadly at an old gym selfie on instagram in which my arse is round and high, i have toned arms and my stomach super flat. He told me to wisen up!

Imagine this time last year if we'd told ourselves we'd be wibbling over this? We'd have given ourselves super hooyahs! Our bodies are busy doing what they need to right now and you can be carrying up to a litre of amnio fluid by 25 weeks!

I've not weighed myself at all. Got the rest of my life for that.

Please don't stress about the weight, La. I gained two stone last time, I'm probably going to gain more this time (and for a short-arsed skinny bird, hitting ten stone on the scales is a shock!). But it all comes off again eventually. I was too skinny by Christmas after DD was born, and I don't normally gain or lose much weight without special effort.

Gaviscon is awful...strawberry sounds even worse! Getting reacquainted with chewy rennies when heartburn kicks in. One bonus with a wonky-lying baby is the lack of upwards pressure on my stomach I guess :)

According to my countdown I have 33 working days left (taking away holidays and bank hols.) YEY!

Bitch boss is away for 18 of those on holiday/ having plastic surgery. Double YEY!

I'm hr-y dulce- .......

Eek Kato don't let him arrive before your CS date.

I echo everyone else La. I don't do scales. What's the point in knowing your weight? You know what you're eating and how you feel which is the main thing. Any woman in her mid thirties who still wears her weight as a badge of honour needs to grow the fuck up. I am pretty chubby for me at the moment and I don't really like how it feels so I do want to start being healthier again but frankly it can wait until I get a decent night's sleep. I found the weight dropped off after the first baby anyway. I have a friend who put on four stone every time she was pg. She had four kids! She's now back to a teeny size 8.

Pixie I loves my iCandy. It's not a double but I imagine it steers similarly. Am yet to find a travel system buggy which is easier to manouvre (sp?).

La you're looking amazing. I'm really sorry if my weight gain paranoia upset you I definitely didn't mean to. I'm really struggling with it. I've been obese for all my adult life and weight gain freaks the fuck out of me. The mw said I might not gain any. I have no idea what I should gain and when. I'm trying to chill out about it but I hate that I'm even fatter than normal. And I'm jealous of all your lovely bumps cos I don't have one.
Maybe one day I'll sort out my fkd up self and get down to a normal weight but I'm not holding my breath. I have zero self esteem and have had hours of counselling for it to no avail.

I'm HR/Payroll if anyone needs advice. Feel free to pm or facebook me if you prefer

My office manager lost my MAT B1 form, a day after I gave it to her. My midwife was correct when she told me to make sure I kept a copy!

You can ask your MW for a copy dulce, I had to with mine - Mr tee's office wanted an original for his pat leave and mine wanted the original for mat leave! dicks

Wildly fucking irresponsible of the office manager though, bet he/she doesn't mislay their payslip each month . Technically you shouldn't have to ask to get another copy because you've done your part by handing it in, but if they haven't seen it or require further proof then the option is there.

Oh god I'm replying to fleur with an answer to a non question to the wrong person.

I'm waddling out for cake, my brain is not managing simple functions.... Sorry....

Sorry tee it's me wading in with an irrelevant post!

Today is going so slowly

Yay, HR-y people! It's a basic one I think. My job closed yesterday. Three applicants: two awful, one good. I expect we will interview and, since the competition is so slim, if he is not a complete tool we may recruit. But he is currently on a higher wage than me. Can they offer/pay him more to do my job? His current wage is within my pay band but a couple of increments higher. Just want to know where I stand really.

That's crap fleur, add it to the list of reasons to be happy to leave! My midwife was so insistent that I couldn't get another copy, I really worried about handing it in.

I know it's easier said than done but want to Add my voice to the - please try not to stress about your weight gain - posters. Our bodies are doing a fucking amazing thing. Wish the media could celebrate this rather than harping on about how quick this or that celeb got her pre-preg body back. I HATE articles like that. Fucking nonsense & gives people unrealistic expectations & unhappiness when they should be feeling triumphant at bringing a new life into the world. It took me a long time to lose weight after DS - prob a year I'd say but I damn well refused to get preoccupied with it. Life's too short (& cake is too necessary when u r breast feeding/tired from being up all night!). Rant over. Time for a cup of tea and a biccy xx

I got another form when my employer also lost mine.

Oooh. That's a good one. Will he be employed on a temp basis? As in fixed term contract? Usually organisations will opt for a cheaper hire than the role being covered when covering mat, however if it's a hard to fill role, sometimes they will pay more, which of course will give you leverage to ask for more ££, what are the criteria for him being paid more etc, etc. I have a feeling that as it's considered a temp cover there's not much you can do about it, if he was hired as a ft perm replacement then you would have a case....
purple any thoughts? I'm just trying to think of the last mat leave i hired cover for (I didn't get replaced...) and how much we paid her vs the leaver.

Oh purple it wasn't you!! Honestly please don't worry that it was you - it was people who are same no of weeks as me which was why I felt a bit bleurgh about it. I'm genuinely so delighted with my baby bump and what my body is doing, but those posts then make me worry about the weight as a bad thing because they all sound so worried about putting on 11lb and I'm here with more than twice that!

You're all right - we are doing an amazing thing. I have managed to forget about weighing myself for months, I only did it yesterday out of curiosity. Silly girl.

Fleur what an important document to lose, she's an idiot!

Dulcet I would've thought he'd need to take pay cut but I don't know anything about these things.

There are now 60 applicants for my job and the majority are not qualified, but about 7 or 8 are excellent so I hope we can recruit successfully.

Just been on phone with the TV show people, gearing up for this Wednesdays programme. Hooray! I'm not on it before you get excited!

Got results - all fine so no uti. Perhaps it's just pg aches and pains then. Definitely an excuse for a massage!

Kato - eeeeeek!

Is it could who was having CS this week, or is it you splodge?

Hope you're ok mini, I'm getting excited about new JSIng babies arriving.

Engaged kato - squeeeeeee!

Is anyone not going back to work?

I'll be putting on however much weight I put on! Gonna try and concentrate on eating good stuff but I know I'll need bad stuff too. Everyone is different! Maybe they all just catch up to you la and you'll plateau for a bit!

Had my gp appointment today so now have my midwife appointment booked for 3 weeks time. Also booked at early scan for 2 weeks on Wednesday when I'll be 8 weeks to try and reduce my anxiety a bit feeling ever so slightly more real.......

wil I absolutely hate my job so planning to drag myself through the next 8 months, take the maternity pay then run! I don't think you have to pay back statuary MP if you quit. Will need a job afterwards though :s

I am playing it by ear wil taking the full 12 months and then, current plan, is to go back part time.

It is an ideal job for when the kid goes to school and so I feel I should hold on to it. DH wants me to be a SAHM but I am not sure I want to be, who knows, I may love it and decide to have a whole brood

I am lucky to have the choice.

It's looking likely I won't be going back wil - We decided that we don't want to put an under 1 in childcare 5 days a week 7-7, which is what would have to happen in order for me to go back to do what I was doing. Will probably look at something pt locally when he's a year or so, and my god it's going to be a scrape, and we are going to have to move somewhere a lot cheaper, but I think I said before if I go back the money would all pour into childcare and travel and I'd be left with extremely little at the end, so unless I'm offered a big, BIG salary hike to go back (which won't happen) then it makes zero financial sense and I don't want to miss out on tiny tee growing up if there's barely any benefit.

I'm sitting out in the sun eating a whole box of French fancy cakes. Yum.

Yeah, it would be fixed term, up to 12 month maternity cover. DH was all 'equal job for equal pay' but I am not sure it works like that in practice. Could I at least expect to return on the wage he is paid if the terms of the role don't change?

Oh, hang on tee, just seen you have messaged me so you probably have that answer already!

I will probably have to wil, but hopefully part time. Again, my employer and my job are actually pretty good compared to some. I could get flexible hours and have a role I could do from home some times.

You don't have to pay back statutory ewu but I would have to pay back my company mat pay and it is signficant. Have to come back for a year to prevent that happening.

Is that the pet programme la?

Ooh, and forgot to ask - I've got an appointment with an Anaesthetist on Weds, anyone else had this before? I'm guessing it's to figure out if he can put his lovely fat painkilling needle in my back with my spondy slip, but does this mean that I'm more likely to have an epidural agreed if he can do it? (I'm fairly sure I want one) or is it still very much wait and see on the day still?