April 2015 Thread 14: We've got the fanny daggers and the babies aren't keen on waiting till April!

[TheBooMonster]

Welcome to the 13th April 2015 babies thread!

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We’re in the home stretch ladies, we've had six babies, how many more threads can we manage before the last baby is here?

Daholster just to echo with the others said about your impressive coping. I bet you're tired of hearing it now aren't you. can you not call your DH and say you need him? I guess you'll be in middle of daytime routine now.

Sorry you're getting no joy from the hospital, I really am horrified that you're not getting gold plated treatment given your medical history and issues I would have thought they would be really careful with you. I'm 36 wks and the idea of being preg for another 5-6, with nothing complicated apart from mode of delivery being section, is horrifying simply bc I'm a bit uncomfortable from time to time.

36 wk growth scan passed without incident, birth weight estimated to be exactly same as DD interestingly, I feel enormous but then I'm in the same clothes as last time so it's probably just a memory of being smaller. Having had no pains all day I'm now a bit grumbly as all the ultrasound pushing and poking has brought some aches on

Daholster that sounds really rubbish, I'm so sorry. Can you ask to see a specialist who understands your condition as a matter of urgency, to get a second opinion? Or maybe message your lovely stoma nurse? There's nothing worse than having medical professionals discount your knowledge and experience of your own body. Of course you're upset - I would be! You sound like you need a huge hug.

Siarie antihistamines are a godsend. My DP bought me some that are safe during pregnancy and the couple of times I've had allergies they have been so good. So glad they are helping with your itching.

Today I have been in love with maternity leave - ocado came in the morning, then one of my friends came over for lunch (which she brought with her! I could have kissed her...) with her adorable puppy, and then I waddled to covent garden to meet another friend for coffee and cake and a potter around the shops. I realise these are the golden days before baby is born, so trying to make the most of it. Still absolutely cannot fathom that within four weeks we will have a baby.

I don't feel like I'm going to go into labour soon, but my back does feel a bit achey and I've definitely had, ah, an active tummy the last couple of days! It sounds like it's the same for lots of us.

38+1

You've all reminded me that I really need to remember to drink my raspberry leaf tea! I've only got the weak one so no excuse to crack on with drinking it.

Oh RL dh has been great, what I mean though is that at this very minute I need an enormous hug and a cry and I'm all by myself.

I will contact lovely old nurse unfortunately fb messenger will not install on my phone (grr) and its the only means I have of contacting her.

I am considering writing to my surgeon but worried he too will think I am just being a moaning minnie. I wish my first obstetrician hadn't left. I don't want my new one now! Woe betide her if I end up with any issues that could have been avoided, I will not take prisoners!!! Poor woman, she's very young and new...

I am just very upset at the lack of knowledgeable support, because it seems there is zero and I'm furious. I bet if my antenatal care was at St. Marks (a specialist gastro hospital) then people would know. But it isn't, its too far away, so what's the point in thinking about that. I just don't know who to talk to. I just want to feel reassured, not rushed and have the feeling I'm being a complicated difficult patient that no-one really wants to see.

Brixton your day sounded lovely!
Can I ask what the raspberry leaf tea is supposed to do?

Smog glad your scan went well. The poking and prodding is uncomfortable isn't it . Even at the midwives appointments I find it a bit uncomfortable when they prod around to see which way baby is laying. I also don't like having to lay flat down! And no one helps you up after so I feel like a helpless turtle on it's back!

Daholster who cares what your consultant thinks?! It's their job to make sure you're safe and supported.

RL raspberry leaf tea is anecdotally supposed to help tone your uterus and so potentially might lead to a shorter second stage of labour.

Smogs fab news on the scan

Daholster none of your requests are in any way unreasonable. Is there a head midwife at your hospital you could speak to?

Thanks RL. I guess they have to do what they have to do to get the measurements though otherwise it would be a fairly pointless 'there is a baby in there' ultrasound!

Thanks Brixton and congratulations on aceing mat leave, that's a stellar day you've had, I'm sorry to say you're right about these golden days so do make the absolute most of them!

Daholster - that's just annoying and rubbish. Push them and tell them it's not good enough, in writing is easier if you can. I hope you're feeling better and i'm sure we're all sending virtual hugs!

Congrats on the good scans and appointments today, and your day sounds great Brixton.

Good news on scan front smogsville and so glad the antihistamines are having an effect Sairie!

So sorry they made you feel so awful daholster, I know it doesn't excuse it but they are people to and may have just had a bad day. I totally understand your feelings about them behaving like they know more than you but perhaps they are trying to give you confidence in them by saying all will be ok? Ask your midwife about induction at your next appointment as mine was quite keen on 38week s&s's so some may be more sympathetic than Drs. I would say to your Dh that yes you do mind as you've had a really shitty day and even if he doesn't get home for bedtime you'd like him home asap.

Have finally had a good hassle free day! My new minded boy who's starting with me end of May came for a settling in session and was a treasure. Kids all been good, had chilled afternoon and Dh was home earlier than expected. Shattered now as I ran with my friend and the dogs this morning so was an early start.

daholster ((((hugs))) All I can say is I can sympathise. I have often walked out of consultant appointments feeling rubbish, patronised and like my concerns had not been heard and ultimately, not reassured as to the treatment plan the dr has put in place.

I hate being told that things aren't that painful or whatever and generally not being listened to and I've had that a lot this pregnancy from gastro's - e.g hospital told me my last infliximab would be at 32weeks, this would mean next one would be due at 38 and I have a history of flaring very quickly (within days ) when my infliximab is stopped or postponed. However all through pregnancy my consultant told me that she feels my concerns 'may not be valid' and 'many women with crohns find it settles in the third trimester anyway' and expected me to be reassured by that - I don't even know where she was getting this info from re: third trimester! Anyway right up until my OB consultant app last friday I had no clue if they were going to induce me, c section me, wait for natural labour and out of those if it was going to be 37/38/39/40 weeks or what. I was really lucky to have a good consultant appointment with a dr that actually recognised that if I was predicting I was going to flare at 38 weeks I might just know what I'm talking about seeing as I've been on these meds for nearly 6 years! and also she had some experience of crohns as did placement as a student with a colorectal surgeon.

Anyway, I digress :p it is very hard as most gastros have little experience of managing IBD in pregnancy and little OB's have experience of people with IB/stomas (and even if they do have some experience it is so difficult to generalise experiences of people with crohns/UC) but thats no excuse for not listening to your concerns. Do you have an IBD nurse or a gastro you can talk to about your stoma worries? They may be able to get on at the OB. x

Hope you're feeling a bit better than earlier now, Daholster?

Well I'm feeling a bit poo. Other half isn't back from work yet, even though he made the effort to go in earlier this morning, (lorry driver though so can't be helped I suppose). And I know he'll be rushing around in the morning packing things for the stag do which he'll be leaving for early tomorrow afternoon.
So don't really feel like I'll see him now until probably Sunday afternoon

Hello, I'm sort of feeling better. I know they were having a bad day, but it's not the first time there I have felt rushed. Like I said the lady was nice but I feel like most of it is just being brushed away - but mainly because they aren't sure, not because it's the right thing for me. It's the right thing for their protocols maybe. Or the right thing for the bits they choose to listen to. I think they think the stoma is nothing to do with them. In a way they are right, but it's like no-one can take responsibility. She did agree the immense bum pressure is likely because of my odd anatomy and nothing more worrying like imminent delivery, and so the baby presses directly on my rectum which is at the front. Labour should be fun then! She also agreed the pain on the left during contractions is likely scar tissue.

Unfortunately my IBD nurse is on annual leave and there are, as you know, no stoma nurses. I considered trying to ring a midwife when I left but it was so late the only available ones would have been in the delivery suite which was entirely inappropriate for what I wanted them for!

Need to sleep on it before deciding whether to write. It matters indirectly what the consultant thinks since she is actually a colleague in a roundabout distant sort of way... It won't stop me telling her what I think if my care turns out badly though!!!

Dh is home and hasn't dared broach the subject of the appointment yet after I sent lots of pissed off text messages about it...

Have a good sleep daholster and hopefully tomorrow everything will feel better and clearer for you.

Baby is being a pain, well causing me pain, tonight. Bump is really achy and they are obviously wriggling their shoulders in my pelvis or Something fun.

Hope you feel better RL - i'm sure your DP wouldn't want you to be upset, maybe you could plan something nice for the 2 of you when he comes back (or next week)

I know the feeling - at my last gastro the consultant was running an hour late and I was her last patient before lunch break - you can imagine how much time I felt she had for me and my questions! Not best practice at all!

IBD nurses do seem to pick their times for taking holidays/annual leave :( Always the way! Could you book another consultant app? I think ringing midwife might be a good call as they tend to have more empathy than consultants :) x

I've got something bobbing about in my pelvis too Fi and my back is killing me.

Almost finished DD's cardigan I knitted. Just have to sew up the seams and put the buttons on. Only taken me nearly a month! I tried to finish it tonight but I just couldn't make myself sew the rest, I did 1 sleeve and the front bands. So just a sleeve and 2 side seams left. I was so quick at knitting a baby cardigan I don't know what happened. Going to be starting a sleeping bag for the baby next it buttons up both sides and has a little hood. Very cute

Glad to see your feeling a bit better Daholster, do sleep on it and hopefully you'll feel more level headed about it tomorrow and get it all in writing without feeling over emotional about it. These pregnancy hormones don't help when you've not been treated how you should be and you better be getting big hugs from your DH now he's home.

Wow daholster - really sorry to hear your appt was so rubbish. I hope you can speak to someone in the know soon so you get the care you need & deserve... Persevere as you know your body best, no matter how insignificant the staff may have made things out to be. This sounds really silly / unprofessional but after a few visits at different times, I now always try to have morning Appts at the hospital - the staff just seem more agreeable / patient / etc esp if I know it is an appt where I will have questions. I guess it could be a coincidence or my imagination but they seem to be happier as it's early on in their day still. How wrong is that? Anyway, hope you get hugs soon and a good nights rest.

Congrats on the positive Appts / scans to the others!

cinnamon well done you for still running... I can barely waddle from waiting room to car so the idea that you are still going for runs baffles and amazes me!

My glucose test was for nothing as I thought, it seems I just bake big babies for no apparent reason. Thankful to not have gd but a waste of a day hanging out at the hospital. Now it's Two weeks to go until bump becomes baby - I'm happy Easter is thrown in there to distract from the wait!

Latest update, think bits of my show might be coming away. Just noticed a (sorry) snotty like clump, so I think part but still more to come!

Still lots of BH and cramps so we will see.

Dh says I should write to point out how little support there is. I think he's right but best to wait until tomorrow. We are getting ready for bed but I still feel so annoyed I'm not sure I will sleep!

Ooh siarie exciting! All your contracting is obviously at least readying your cervix then, that's good news I think

PS thank you thank you thank you all

Underwood its only obstetrics I've ever felt this way in - gastro and surgery have always had plenty of time for me and I haven't ever felt rushed. I'm glad you have worked out a good system though

Siari- hopefully ur pains means birth will be soon.

Daholster- I can't believe they've been so unsupportive. Iv been offered an early induction for back pain and vomiting- although these symptoms are unpleasant urs sound even harder!

Stressing about loads of little bits tonight.

1. where will parents stay since they want to b here when babies born (sister will be in my spare room, as we r close and I don't want anyone staying more than a night after we get home). Parents live 500 miles away, I asked if they'd wait till DH back at work but they said no. Not close enough to be establishing breastfeeding in front of.
2. have I packed right clothes for baby, if we need more clothes bringing in I hope my carefully arranged in size order piles don't get messed (see stupid worries)
3. wedding 70 miles away and overnight stay this weekend- but I'm vomin loads :(

I realise these little stresses are ridiculous in the scheme of things

Hope everyone gets a good sleep

cavetroll nope I wouldn't deal with the vomiting well at all! you are very brave! Don't go to the wedding...?

I think they don't want to induce early because if it's too early it is more likely to fail and need an unplanned section and they are fretting about that because of my other surgery. I am not sure their priorities are right if I end up with a huge instruction while I'm waiting for him to appear naturally. I'm just getting worked up and frightened.

Not asleep yet because I'm still cross!!!

Hope writing your stresses down has helped too No advice there I'm afraid, just support for you to stress and vent away if it helps!