April 2015 Thread 13: The babies are creeping in one by one and the gardens really need seeing to!

[TheBooMonster]

Welcome to the 13th April 2015 babies thread!

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We’re in the home stretch ladies, we've had the first baby, how many more threads can we manage before the last baby is here?

Congratulations River.

I haven't really been keeping up, sorry. Today first proper mat leave day.
Resting on sofa, then might pop to sainsbury's and tiger stores and maybe baby gap, then home to rest the afternoon again potentially doing more washing of baby clothes... Planning on taking it easy...

Part of his problem is that he can't pin point what's bothering him so not sure how much help writing it down would be. The gp last time didn't even mention PND being the cause that was something we worked out by ourselves 12 months later when he had relaxed and perked up a bit.

I just don't want him upset about irrational stuff. He said its different than it was last time but I just think he's worrying about different things. Although he said he was worried about being responsible for a baby. I kindly pointed out we've not messed DD up and we've had her for 4 years! In all seriousness though I do worry about him and I completely blame his mum as she is the original irrational worrier and it's rubbed off on him.

daholster yes it was me. So it's not as if based on past experience you're likely to have an early arrival. Hmm it's all guess work innit. That's a shocker about no flights from ed after 8pm! Somewhat primitive.

Chicken congrats! Hope you get some latching soon. I think it's not unusual for them to take a couple of days to latch? Make sure you pester all the mws to help you just keep ringing that bell. Hope you're recovering well.

London is there a friend of your DD who she could go to? I have a friend a few streets away with two slightly older girls and she is going to have my DD if need be - ie if baby tries to come early when my mum's not around/ DH at work etc. Her eldest is 6 and her youngest 4, so I don't feel like I'm imposing too much as she's well past the baby/ incapable toddler stage.

River - congrats to you too! Lots of safe arrivals, lovely news.

Lauren I don't have any experience of it but it sounds like going to GP would be a very good idea. Is there a particular doc he might feel more comfortable with? Maybe try posting on a more specific MN board too, I bet there's a specialist organisation or charity. Good luck. Defo a good idea of Misty's to write it down too.

Mmm kismac I want some pineapple now too. Although had better resist as tomorrow is last day at work and I want my mat leave before this one arrives! Sorry you weren't well yesterday.

Tiny that's exactly what I am looking forward to - here's to taking it easy for a few weeks.

34+5

Congratulations Chicken and River!

Very jealous of all of you finishing up work - I've still got two and a half weeks left and am struggling to stay motivated. Just can't wait for mat leave to start now.

35+0

Enjoy your Mat leave Tiny. Don't do too much otherwise we might have another March baby!!!

I hope your DH can get the help he obviously wants and needs. At least he's realised he wants something. As previously suggested going to the doc with a list at least shows he's thought about it. Could he also request a lady doctor or someone he has got on with before as they may be more Inclined to listen and be compassionate(not always, but generally more so)?

Morning everyone

Congratulations to those who have had babies! I can't keep up with who has, now!
I read someone on here last night saying that they feel like they're going to be the last on here because their due date is the 28th. I can't remember who it was, but don't worry as I'm due on the 20th!

Lauren sorry to hear how your other half is feeling. But it's a good sign that he's so open about it with you. Like the others have said, maybe he will be taken more seriously this time as he's been before. Could he ask to see another doctor? Or be referred to a counsellor? Other than that I have no experience of this so I don't want to give you any false information!
I'm worried that my other half won't cope with not much sleep! I know some people won't agree with that but at the end of the day he's still a human that has to carry on with going to work, whereas I haven't got that worry for a while. He's a lorry driver and starts early in the morning so I just hope he'll still be properly fully functioning to drive!
I can agree with you about the mum thing though. My partners family overthink things, are overdramatic, and are often wrong about so many things, it irritates me! His mum never brought him up properly and was more interested in the different men she was with. She cheated on a man that was his stepdad for many years and was the closest thing to a dad, other than his own dad. And so that relationship broke down and I know he's never forgiven his mum properly for that. He was often with his grandma and grandad instead. So all of this early negativity definitely rubbed off on him

Have a lovely first day of mat leave, Tiny! This is my third week of mat leave already, I can't believe it!
I'm just finding I'm running out of money a bit quicker, as I have more time to spend it! So I'm trying to pass time by sorting the flat out, now.

Brummagem, I hope the bleeding has stopped now?

35 weeks today!

Congrats chicken and river! Lovely news!

Also, I have a question if anyone can help. What does the health visitor do when she comes round to visit for the first time, pre-birth?
A lady is coming round tomorrow morning to meet me for the first time.
I have no idea what to expect! After hearing lots of negative things about health visitors in general, I'm feeling a bit nervous! Will she want to look at the things I've bought for baby? Does my bedroom need to be set up like a nursery?! I'm vary wary of coming across properly!

Lauren I'm so sorry to hear your DH is finding things tough. Our NCT teacher told us that 15-20 per cent of men get some form of PND so it might be more common than he thinks. I can't remember who suggested trying mindfulness but it's worth a shot - there are loads of apps you can download, my DP does around 20 minutes mindful meditation every morning and he really notices the difference in his stress levels. Also CBT could be a good idea, I'm sure a GP could refer him? There must be equivalent daddy forums where he could maybe chat to people online about how he feels? I just hope this isn't too tough on you as well. Sending huge hugs.

Tiny hurrah for maternity leave! Sounds like a perfect pottering day.

Congratulations Chicken and River

I did to much yesterday I ache this morning, we painted a feature wall in our bedroom and moved the furniture around and now the crib and nursing chair are in place. We just need a baby but I still have 4 weeks left at work so I would prefer it not to arrive just yet.

35 + 6

I'm so jealous of you ladies already on your leave. I've got 2 weeks to go and my partner in crime has phoned in sick again this morning. I've not seen her since Wednesday. I'm trying really hard to be sympathetic but when she rings up because she is tired, I just feel like shaking her and saying 'and...' I was up and down 4 times last night with DD and then it was my wake up and she had had a nose bleed and there was blood everywhere and she wouldn't let me stick a tissue up her nose or sit still to pinch it. So I'm pretty tired too but I still showed up for work! (Even if I am already contemplating a nap.)

Maybe I'm just made of stronger stuff and have a greater work ethic.

rl she'll Ask you some questions about how you and your oh are feeling about the pregnancy and birth and whether you have stuff ready but she's unlikely to check it, I made the house sparkly clean and the only room ours saw was the lounge. She started filling out the sure start forms and gave us lots of leaflets for breastfeeding and newborn groups. She checked we planned on vaccinating, gave us the red book and left.

smogs I had planned for her to go to a close friend who lives locally (who also has a two year old - we see each other v often so this would be my preferred solution) but said friend is now going on hols over due date week. Which of course she's totally entitled to do, but leaves me stuck.

I've got a big sheet of paper out and done a list of everyone we know in the village (we moved here when preg with DD, so isn't as long as you might think). I need to cross off acquaintances who've never been to our house or us to theirs as I think too distressing for DD. cross off folk who work full time. cross off the two who are also toddler plus heavily pregnant. cross off the two friends who've got a newborn plus toddler.

Which leaves me with a pretty short list.

The lovely neighbour's daughter has babysat for us loads and I'm sure would be happy to step in if not working (she's a nurse). We bump into neighbour walking her dog quite a bit, so she's a familiar face, if not someone who's ever actually looked after DD.

My other neighbour is nice and has older kids as you suggest (3&5) but she works part time so not sure it'd be possible. Must have a chat with her at least.

And there's another half kiwi family we know in our road. vaguely. like she hasn't been in our house for six months nor us in theirs. She's nice, kids of 3&5. I guess if desperate I could ask her.

Right. that's my mission for this week. Be very proactive/desperate so we can have cover. otherwise DH is going to miss it. First world problem, I realise, but still.

RL don't worry about the HV, they just ask you questions they have a form to fill in and just go through them one by one. They also leave you with a load of leaflets to go through. (Mine are still in the envelope!) It's not like the post birth ones where they go to the loo and wash their hands to make sure you have hot water! And you won't get the white glove test for your dust either.

Good on you london. I bet people will be pleased to help where they can. I think would feel quite honoured to be asked - it's an important role!

What can I cook for tea? I got a couple of chicken breasts out the freezer this morning but I haven't a clue what I'm going to make them into yet. Any ideas ladies or should I spend my morning searching for a recipe?

RL- as the other ladies said my HV just asked questions about us and our childhood explaining that they just want to be aware of any problems in advance. Explained where local services were and showed me a dvd on dealing with crying. She gave me a leaflet with her details on and that was it.

Lauren - looking for a recipe sounds better than work....

Lauren You could do a chicken pasta bake, chesses and potato pie with chicken in, Chicken soup, You could stuff them with cheese and wrap in bacon put bbq or tomato sauce on top and bake in oven :)

Morning ladies Congrats to all who have had babies hope you are all doing well.

37 weeks for me today feel tired and very hungry and bump very achy so spending day in front of TV watching movies, and later on make some cupcake for DH as it is his Birthday :)

I Found some very easy recipes on Asda's website but I'm not sure DH will go for them.

Think I might wrap them in bacon I have bacon to use up in the fridge. I got some amazing Swartz Chicken seasoning the other week and it's very tasty could stick that on before I wrap them.

Lauren sorry to hear about your DH feeling like eBay. Must be stressful for you as well. From my medical point of view I would rather that someone like your DH came to see me to discuss his worries before baby arriving so that we could have a plan in place for what to do if he did start feeling depressed again, for example starting medication earlier or referring earlier for counselling. If you get a good GP they should do something like that and help put your minds at rest. Definitely can be helpful to write things down if he finds it hard when he gets there.

Congratulations River on your lovely baby! Can't believe we have so many now

Tiny enjoy your mat leave!

Wondering if anyone has some words of support or advice - I'm day 2 P/N now feeling very emotional, trying to establish feeding. Having problems latching on one side, other side great latch and good feeding but feeling very sore. Also feel like I've been generally kicked by a horse down below. So worried about feeding not working as DD is so small and a little jaundiced. Going home today as well, midwife has suggested trying some nipple shields. Any other wisdom or reassurance? Thanks

Lauren this might require you to go and get some ingredients but is yummy!
Ingredients
2 skinless chicken breasts, roughly chopped
1 green pepper, roughly chopped
1 medium onion, roughly chopped
145g sour cream, to serve
4 tortilla wraps
Rice/salad
For the marinade
Juice of half a lime
1 garlic clove crushed
A few drops of Tabasco, or other hot sauce
1 teaspoon of chilli powder, adjust according to preference
50ml vegetable oil
1 pinch sea salt
1 pinch black pepper

Mix the marinade in a bowl keep 1 tablespoon back to mix into the sour cream.
Add the chicken, pepper, onion mix and cover leave to marinade for 1-2 hours.
Pierce the chicken and veg onto skewers and grill.
Serve in tortillas with rice/salad and the sour cream.

It also freezes well if anybody is batch cooking, freeze raw then cook once defrosted.

penguin the hormones are awful postnatally, sudden changes that no one prewarns you will make you feel like a complete wreck... Sounds very normal... I believe usually day 3 is the worst (sorry). Interesting about nipple shields, I was discouraged but used them occasionally to give myself a break. She didn't seem to like them much and i found them very painful to put on and abandoned them fast! Worth a try though perhaps for piece of mind and nipple rest!

One side is always better than the other, you aren't unusual there. Basically even correct feeding hurts at first. Make sure when the midwife comes to see you at he you get her to check the latch - every opportunity get it checked. Incorrect latch makes life so hard, which I know you know.

The post natal days are very difficult. You worry all the time about whether you are doing it right, whether they are getting enough milk, whether you have the right latch or are creating yourself problems in the long term etc etc etc. It is seriously a baptism of fire becoming a mummy!

But it sounds like you are being a brilliant new mum. Allow yourself to cry, to fall asleep when she does, to ask for all the help you can get. Its very emotional and your crash in cortisol and endorphins male it so much harder especially when you feel like you should be the happiest person in the world but you keep wanting to cry and sometimes it does feel too hard! But it will be fine.

Keep doing what you are doing

Penguin My DD latched on well on the right, but the left was agony. I finally used a nipple shield for a few days to let it heal properly while she ate, because I was ready to give up then, despite what the MW/HV said (although yours sounds more supportive).

The other trick that helped was doing the rugby hold on the left side, rather than across the chest. It sort of mimicked how she would feed on the right so it helped her to latch on much better. Once I was in less pain, it was easier to focus on her feeding. I hope it gets better, breastfeeding is so stressful in the beginning!

Thanks Penguin, Re your latching issue. DD certainly favoured one boob over the other and if I'm honest it was more comfy holding her that side too. Only thing I can suggest is to persevere. If you get a bit engorged on the unfavourable side, just try expressing a bit so you don't end up with a problem. Also try holding her a different way or lying on your side and letting her latch that way. Also plenty of nipple cream!