May 2015 - thread 6 - third trimester, here we come!

[Titsalinabumsquash]

New thread ladies

I chipped my front tooth last night, Leanne, so I sympathise. I was howling!

Yes to the whole crying / laughing thing. although it is making life a bit easier with my usually very stubborn DH. Everytime he gets cross or grumpy, I burst into tears and he immediately feels the need to give me a hug. Think I might have to remember this tactic after bump is born

I was also warned off mumsnet leanne - by a friend of a friend who is trainee health visitor. She has never been pregnant herself so I had to really bite my tongue about all the advice she gave - most of which seemed hugely generalised and not at all in keeping with my experience so far both of pregnancy and MN. Will be interested to see if she changes her opinion after having a baby herself!

I have found this group sooo helpful. Do you think we might be able to arrange a get together once our little ones are here?!

have heard negative things about mumsnet as well. Personally I find it great to have a group of women to talk to who are all at similar stages with their pregnancy and the ones of you that have been there and done it before. I think prople just tag mainly female forums as a b*tch fest.

Would be great to meet up if we can find somewhere central :D

Oh, Leanne, your poor teeth!

I'm lucky to live in London, so am tripping over breastfeeding cafes and lactation consultants. My local hospital is the tertiary referral centre for the UK for tongue tie, and I did antenatal breastfeeding classes at NCT (hopeless) and my local hospital (really good). But I've been on online support groups a long time, and there are areas of the UK where postnatal support is very hard to access indeed, and requires serious persistence. Counties with one breastfeeding cafe a week for the whole county for example. So MORE funding for postnatal support for infant feeding full stop, of whatever kind (because you'll struggle to find decent advice on formula feeding too), would make a massive difference to so many women.

Also HV advice on BFing is often utter rubbish. Many of them are really not at all up to date or even 'on message', and you only have to read a few threads on here to see that they're stressing mothers out as often as they're supporting them. I made a formal complaint about mine after my first baby was born because she told me 'you're not a bad mother [after reducing me to tears herself] because you haven't aborted your baby like so many women do nowadays'. With my second baby I only ever went to a breastfeeding cafe to have him weighed and checked - I refused to go anywhere near her again.

Sorry, rant over. But society expects so much of new mothers and then offers them so very little support a lot of the time.

Apple yesterday I cried about plugs.

Wow three can't believe she said that!

I read a lot of symptoms on here and I'm like 'ooh im lucky I'm not having that one' then two weeks later boom! So hope this isn't the case with getting emotional! So far not burst into tears! Although fb videos have been bringing a tear to my eye!

I have really enjoyed catching up on the last few pages and so many of you have the same fears as me but also many of you have 'been there' with great advice, thank you. I am bricking it thinking about feeding but have hired a Doula to help give me sympathetic help with no pressure. If it's not working, I know I can try mixed feeding or full FF but I wish it was easier!!

I have my whooping cough jab tomorrow. MW told me I'd need to book it at my GPs myself. Bloody hard to book any appointments at my GPs so hope doctor will be able to vaccine me as receptionist didn't know!

Kitty, I think you're near me. If you want any information about good places to access help, just let me know.

Just been catching up from last night, what a busy 24hrs!!

Am in the same mind as a lot of you re bf and am going to give that and pumping a go but will also ff as I want DH to be part of it too.

Am getting myself tied up in knots looking at sleeping options for first 6 months. I like the idea of the next2me crib and that it can be folded down for visiting grandparents etc, I also like the idea of the wooden gliding cribs, but can't decide...also not sure if will fit in our room...does the next to me have to be next to the bed or can it be freestanding (obviously not with side down!!) as not sure if room next to bed and may have to go at foot of bed but again there isn't masses of space. Some cribs sound too small though and what happens if baby is too big for crib but isn't 6 months can they go in a cot bed then in nursery?

Am going to a mothercare expectant parent evening in a couple of weeks so hopefully will get some ideas. Will make sure I have done measurements etc before then.

Feeling really bloated and fat today, but having a night off and vegging on sofa with rubbish tv :)

Thanks Three!

Oh no kittiker argh what have you done now?! I have calmed down a little bit just annoyed lol

apple i agree about the stereotype of online forums but I have had a great experience with you all! Omg a meet up would be great!! I'm gloucestershire based!!

Omg three I can't believe she said that!!!!! Surely she is supposed to support all women's personal choices?! I would have complained too!!

kitty it's hard to book appointments here too, tried to book my 25 week appointment and there are no spaces with the midwife this week so fingers crossed I get one next week!

My whooping cough vaccine is booked for next week with a practice nurse. I think I read online some that it should be done ideally between 28-32weeks but can be done up to 38weeks.

I ordered myself two hypnobirthing books and CDs today, can't bring myself to spend nearly £300 on classes but would like to have some extra techniques to practice. I am hoping for a water birth, our birthing centre seems to have a very good reputation so hoping it will all come together...

Hi everyone,
Finding all the feeding chat really interesting. Would love to EBF for first sixth months then mix feed but who knows what will happen in reality. Please don't judge me for asking this as it won't affect my decision to BF but what sort of state does it leave your boobs in after? I've always had large boobs proportionate to my size (30GG) and already the pregnancy increase is making them go a bit south! So worth it for baby but obviously as a women you do care about your appearance to a point!

I think it's the later the better with whooping cough. I never know whether it's pronounced whooping or hooping?!?

My june 2013 group have met a few times but only a few of us. London is the only obvious central point which doesn't suit all! But anyone who wants to meet in the Oxford street john Lewis cafe one day it would be great to see you! Can't get more Central than that:-)

On the BF thing I did it for about 9 months and she weened herself off. I was a bit precious about it but won't be this time. I kind of think everyone should try it but if it doesn't work for you then fine. The first few days are the good stuff! I found it useful for weight loss and would have resented paying for formula. Most people I know who FF wished they'd had the support to continue BF. It really does seem to make a difference.

So I was overlooked for a work opportunity today entirely on the grounds of being pregnant. Apparently they thought that I wouldn't want to travel for five days on a Royal Mail boat to a tropical island in the mid Atlantic where there is questionable medical care to stay a month and then travel back at 36 weeks pregnant. On my own. I can't quite think of any good reasons to kick up a fuss! It wasn't entirely unreasonable of them to assume I wkukdnt be up for it right now was it.....?!???!

I did the classes with my first and they were great, but I think you'll get a lot out of just the CDs. They are really relaxing in themselves as you go through pregnancy.

Evening all - not sure i've even made it onto this thread yet so far! I'm so bad at keeping up!

I'm 24+4 today, and an emotional wreck!

Hope you're all ok, will check in tomorrow, i will i will i will!!!!

Hi ladies, just had a quick catch up. Not been on much as things have been so busy.

R.e feeding, ds1 was formula fed from go as I was out of it in HDU, so staff and my DP fed him etc. Ds2 started to BF but after marathon feeds and still having to top him up with formula, I gave in eventually andjust stuck with formula. Ds3 was real hard, he was diagnosed with tounge tie as soon as he was born but I tried to feed anyway, it seemed he was latching but he was just not getting much as I dont think he was suckling right, so I tried to express but he was losing weight and lost 13oz in the first 5 days so was readmitted back to hospital as it was over 10% of his weight, I just couldnt carry on because it was causing too many problems for him, it was later realised he also had lip tie aswell as tounge, so all made sense. Again I will try with this baby, but wont pressure myself.

Hope everyone had a good weekend and you ladies are all ok xx

Good to read all the advice re:breastfeeding. I'm hoping to mix ff and bf- like you smiley- so that DH can give some feeds too. Ive bought some bottles and little cartons of formula and plan to see how we get on. Keeping an open mind.

mumx what is lip tie? Ive heard of tongue tie before but never lip tie.

bean its bad that you were completely overlooked for the trip, they should've at least asked. What do you do if you don't mind me asking? Sounds pretty exciting!

So I'm away from this thread for a few days and it's taken me half an hour of my PPA time to catch up again...so busy on here. Thankfully much more interesting than the planning and paperwork I am supposed to be doing!

Love that there are so many views on bf on here and none of them come with any judgement. I am literally going to take it as it comes. I'll take the advice with the knowledge in my head that if I'm unhappy, my baby will be unhappy so that'll guide me to what's best. Blondie, you asked a question about it changing the appearance of you boobs. I have no idea about this and am different to you in that I am pretty small chested, but would still be interested to know!

Bean, I think you should sue immediately (sarcasm)!! How ruddy dare they!

On the emotional front - dear god! Both moody and tearful over small things. I've never been a grudge bearer but struggling to let petty things go - not a nice feeling!
A child in my class had an outburst yesterday and trashed my classroom. This does happen in the type of school I work in but found it way more scary yesterday than before I was pregnant - didn't feel I could do enough to keep all the kids safe (though no-one was hurt so enough must have been done). I have now been given extra support in the classroom in case it happens again. I've never needed that support and am pretty good at working with difficult children and calming them so sobbed on my boss's shoulder (luckily we're friends too) about how useless I felt and a burden I'm being to everyone! Normal me would not have cried at work!!

Anyway, a quick hello has turned in to a small diary entry. Apologies! Keep posting all the lovely stuff folks xx

Shiny that sounds scary, don't feel bad about needing more support though. It's for everyone's safety. I think all of us are feeling a lot more emotional.

Leanne my boobs fed DS for 11 months and didn't really change. It was the pregnancy that changed them. I'm really proud of what they did so wouldn't really mind anyway. It's really nice when you are ebf and look at your baby and think you are soley keeping your baby alive and growing them. I'm not saying it's easy but once you get the hang of it, it's much easier. It helped me lose the baby weight too. I don't bother with pumping though, I found that depressing and time consuming and am happy to use cartons of formula if I go out.

Bean I also want to know what you do for a job?? Sounds fascinating!

Things have settled down since I came out of hospital. No more bleeding just lots of scary braxton hicks and pain just under my ribs. When I saw that blood and the clots in the toilet on Thursday I genuinely thought I had lost my baby and my colleague found me crying holding the clots thinking it was my baby. He is fine though and I'm now off sick and just resting.

Turquoise good to hear you're resting and feeling better. That must have been so worrying for you- I can't imagine. Keep resting as much as possible!

Interesting to read all the views on bf. I'm very relaxed towards it, great if I can and I'll do it for a while, but I'm not worried if I can't.

Has anyone used or going to use a birthing ball? Just wondering if they're any good and worth buying?