May 2015 - thread 6 - third trimester, here we come!

[Titsalinabumsquash]

New thread ladies

apple As long as the kids are happy then why does it bother so many which route you take to get the same goal?!

No idea... Having worked for the NSPCC previously there are bigger things to worry about than whether a Mum breastfeeds or not. I find though that even some mums can be opnionated with it, someone I know said that she thinks ff babies develop quicker as not so needy compared to bf, she was comparing her doing ff and her sister doing bf. She understands its a choice but I thought it was a bit of a sweeping statement...

hi ladies, i hope you all had a good weekend.

re the breastfeeding topic, i am not going to breastfeed, i know that may sound awful to some woman, but it just doesnt appeal to me at all. I have quite sensitive boobs/nipples at the best of times and i just dont think i could handle it, i hope i dont sound too selfish! If when the baby comes i feel differently or its feels super natural i may give it a go but my mind currently is made up to bottle feed!

i do however think all the ladies giving it a go are fab but agree not to put too much pressure on themselves, my best friend tried and failed and said she felt awful about it and wished she never tried just because of how it made her feel! It just shows its not for everyone, as long as babies are getting their food and lots of love of mum thats all that counts. x

Tits some people really should learn to just keep their mouths shut... how dare other people tell you what you have decided is there best thing for you and your baby is wrong or selfish... utter morons!

leanne just keep an open mind with regards to bf/ff whatever suits you will come naturally as others have said some women find it amazing and it comes naturally others struggle but whatever you decide its your decision and you will make the right one for you and your baby. I struggled with it for almost 8 weeks before I gave up and put my dd on formula and we were both so much happier for it, and my dd is a very forward, intelligent little girl so she did not "suffer" from having formula as some ignorant people still believe!

I had her in a grow bag too from a few weeks as she was chunky and had good head control from very early on, I used the ones with the poppers under the arms too so she couldnt slip down though.

Tori glad your midwife appt went well.

Is great to see so many different opinions on the whole BF/FF for me I didn't with my first 2, I have always had a large chest and never been comfortable with it, at that stage in my life they stayed covered up and strapped down, with my youngest I gave it a go, felt more confident with myself, but didn't get on well, didn't really get any support but then again didn't push for it either, I will try again and will ask for more help this time.

snooky I was the same I have huge boobs anyway so the pain that came with bf was excruciating at times and I was never really comfortable with public feeding situations and my dd was constantly hungry so in the end I made the decision to stop as it was really getting me down and I didnt recieve any help really, again I didnt push for it though! That being said I am going to try again this time and just go in with an open mind if this one works out better then great if not then I wont feel bad about it.

ladies the whooping cough jab.. is this supposed to be done after 28wks?

Yes, anytime after 28 weeks for WC jab.

I got a text from the NHS saying whooping cough jab should be done between 28 and 38 weeks. Does anyone else get these texts? Strange mixture of interesting/useful/helpful info like the above and patronising reminders (previous one: "Make sure you go to all your midwife appointments. They're just as important in the second half of pregnancy.")!

Thanks ladies I thought so!! Couple more weeks to go before I need to sort that out then!

Pleased your midwife appointment went well Tori. I have had a dentist check up today (thankfully all ok!) - it's nice knowing it's free! Also our pram arrived today so very happy :)

I breastfed both my babies well over a year but mixfed because I have low supply and can't breastfeed exclusively. My personal view is that the NHS messaging on breastfeeding in this country is completely batshit. It makes those who want to and can't feel dreadful and isn't really having much effect on those people who never even contemplate it, even though it might work well for them. I think they should divert some funding from the constant antenatal stuff and put it into decent, high-quality, easy to access post-natal support. If women were routinely (and this does happen in some countries, who tend to have higher rates of breastfeeding) visited by a lactaction consultant or well-trained peer supporter after birth, and able to discuss their feeding choices, and any problems they have, and continued to be easily available for support, then I think more women would feel supported to persevere with BFing, and also women who are FFing would feel that they had had a chance to discuss it and that their reasons were understood. There is also far too little understanding of the difference in behaviour between BF and FF babies, which leads women to think they are not satisfying their babies, or that their babies won't sleep if BF, or that they can't breastfeed with small breasts etc. And I feel very sad to think that women who really did want to breastfeed end up not doing so because they fall prey to urban myths and can't access support.

Sorry, rant over. My own breastfeeding journey has been really complicated and involved lots of very negative feelings towards my own body for its failures, and I get pissed off when the NHS just seems to get it SO WRONG!

Tits, women can't win anyway. I did carry on feeding, and I used to get told off for it as it was unnatural to feed children that age. I'm surprised no one suggested making a documentary out of me.

Tori, glad the midwife's appointment went well. I've got my 28 week one on Thursday - it seemed very far off at my 16 week one and now it's any minute. 12 weeks from now I'll be 40 weeks, so I hope it goes as fast again!

three I am finding that as a FTM everyone is bombarding me with their own personal experiences and some conflict and some praise one form over the other. I was with my mum and godmother a few weeks back and we got onto to topic, and i said i want to give BF a go, but i understand that sometimes it doesn't work. My mum piped in with 'Breast is best' and my godmother gave her a good talking to and said 'Well i didn't BF because i didn't want to and i'll be damned if someone tells me that i didn't do what was BEST for my child'. I completely understand why my godmother said what she did, i would have if i had been in her situation. Only the mother knows what is BEST for her child. I was warned off coming on Mumsnet by alot of people cause they said women on here would make you feel bad about certain choices, thankfully i haven't experienced that with any of you as you have always been open minded and informative!

Just to mention that in my area at least there are bf support groups run by bf consultants at the children's centre. I actually found them pretty good, though I can't remember how well advertised they were. I also went to an nhs antenatal bf clinic at the hospital that was part of the nhs antenatal course. That was pretty good too, though I went to it too early. Hope your areas have something similar if you want it.

Anyone else feeling they have entered another tiredness phase? Glowing 2nd trimester feels short-lived!

longest - yes I have booked on a breast feeding class, and had the list for baby classes at the children's centre come through. They also do a breastfeeding session, so think I will have a look and see what that is all about as well

Oh and I don't know if this is just a London thing but there are several children's centres within walking distance of my house, and plenty more a bus ride away and they all have different things on so it's worth checking out several if you can ( their websites aren't always up to date, annoyingly, but each one tends to have the others' timetable posted up, at least for the ones within the same borough. I am on the edge of three boroughs so have oodles of choice! )

Just a quick comment on bf support, for those who are interested - we have baby cafes where I live, which offer great bf support. Can help with addressing any questions or problems that you have, and you get to 'practice' bf in public but in a relaxed informal setting where everyone is doing it My nearest is at the local children's centre. You can see if there is one near you here: www.thebabycafe.org/index.php/your-nearest-baby-cafe/uk-baby-cafes

sunshine fwiw, when I was pg I felt very weird about trying to bf as my nipples are a 'sweet spot' but actually it was fine when I finally tried it. Although obvs it's entirely your choice how you feed your baby and you have to do what works for you

I actually had a love-hate relationship with bf. I was fortunate in that I had no supply issues, was able to express loads if I wanted to etc, but I did feel a bit like a dairy cow at times and like my body wasn't entirely mine. I persevered because I felt like I should, esp as I had peers who really wanted to bf and struggled. And I am proud of myself for doing it - DD was ebf for first 6 months, and then we started giving formula at bedtime (and eventually overnight as well). Finally stopped bf altogether at 1 year. This time, am thinking of mixed feeding from the start, as I'm worried that if I try to ebf I will lose out on a lot of time with DD. She used to have mammoth feeding sessions in the evenings and if this one's the same I don't want to end up missing out on all DD's bedtimes and the quality time we spend together in the evenings.

Tits at you getting such awful comments! People really need to learn to eff off and mind their own business, why do they think you become public property just because you've made a baby??

just got back from having cuddles with my friends 6 week old :) so cute, she's expressing like a trooper at the moment, poor littlun had tongue tie and now has a big ulcer on the roof of his mouth so him latching on was short lived

I then got home to a slightly moody dh, which made me cry... then he said sorry for being grumpy and hugged me. Then I smacked my elbow on the freezer door and went into full on hormonal crying. He was hugging me and making me laugh so then I just cried and laughed for five minutes

Oh apple Bless you! At least he can make you laugh which is always a good thing to break the tension. I can never be mad at DP for long, he will always know how to make me laugh!

I am feeling you on the hormonal front, i am literally trying to stop myself from crying right now as i have just found my Invisalign retainer chewed into bits by my dog. It is gonna cost me god knows how much to fix, i don't have the money, by the TIME i see the dentist my teeth would have changed and gone crap again so it won't be changed immediately. I just feel so ugly at the moment, dark circles, spotty skin, crap hair, now i feel like my teeth are going to go horrible again. I am just having a pity party and want to cry. :(

This is my first and I'm going to try to bf and how it goes. I was shocked when my sister had her first and my usually confident sure of herself sister was a weeping mess who felt she was failing her child because he wouldn't bf. She got a diagnosis of a tongue tie and he had it fixed at about 8 weeks. By that time he was solely ff. when she had her second she got a private consultant come to her house who diagnosed a tongue tie and snipped it there and then. She then spent a good hour tutoring her on how to bf and was so supportive. I think a lot of the pressure comes from the feeling that it should come naturally but we all need support.

oh no leanne would your dentist do it on a payment plan?

with you on the hair and skin complaints.

apple Well my lovely DP is saying he will pay but its not the point. I'm just annoyed, i just want nice teeth is that too much to ask!?! lol Don't know whether to laugh at how pathetic i sound or cry at the 'horror' of it all lol

lol its amazing what sets us off. If it were my teeth I would be the same though