We may have been Bitter, but we’re no longer Barren! Get your *PESH* in here! All ready for the BESH clusterdiff of 2015 year of the *CuntCushion* (with added tea tree for those sore fanjo moments)!

[MissHobart]

BESH Graduates having a moan about the lack of Gin whilst actually being over the fucking moon to finally have a reason to not be able to drink it! Anything goes, especially asking the wiser CRESH for their sage advice on the horrors and amazement to come when we get the the biggest WIN in history! Bring your baybees here!

Yay Fizz you're alive! What's your problem with a normal vaginal birth? I think you've told us before but my baby brain has made me instantly forget!

Hello BESH,

Don't know if you remember me from a couple of years back? I fell away from MN because ttc and ivf was so difficult and the menkulling really got to me. Mr Bear and I had totally given up tbh and were just going through the motions of ivf #2. (No eggs on ivf #1). We didnt get many eggs on #2-only 6 and only 4 were mature. Of these 3 fertilised, then one stopped growing. We had a 2 day transfer which we took to mean there was little hope for it.

And then amazingly it all seemed to go well. We didnt test until the day given by the clinic and bloody hell there was a second line!!!! Weve since had our early scan and Baby Bear is growing nicely. I'm still quite shocked by it and we're ever so tentative (too scared to buy anything until the 12 wk scan) but I'm now sitting here with nausea at 6 + 2. We also got a 5 day blast from the other fertilised egg which is our frostie in waiting.

I just wanted to let you know because it might give someone some hope. We've been ttc since 2011 so it's been a long road and fraught with difficulties (uterus in awkward place, having to use vaginal dilators for nearly a year and parents who disapprove of ivf on both sides so not telling anyone and having to hide medication and documentation amongst others and the normal ivf stuff). If it hasnt happened for you yet, hang in there and sending you all the luck (because it bloody is a matter of luck) and strength I can muster. Take care BESH and well done to all those who've had a win in the interim. Xx

Hooray bear that's fantastic news! Do stick around here - we PESH are quiet at the moment and we need more hags in the ranks! I think at the moment we only have bad and me who are 22 weeks, and fab who must be 34 weeks (is that right, fab?). Hoping fiercely that some more from the BESH fred get in here soon.

fab the fear factor encompasses just about every aspect of the birth, mostly to do with uncertainty and lack of control over when it starts, how it progresses, and the aftermath. I have a big fear of intervention and tearing / being cut, and a major worry about something going wrong that leaves the baby permanently damaged during the birth. I think that quite a lot of it has roots in my two ectopics and the emergency scenarios both times. I have no faith in my body knowing what it's supposed to do after the shambles we have had getting to this stage! Sorry, not sure I should be saying all this to someone who is about to do it for real in just a few weeks! I am still officially Keeping An Open Mind so if you have any words of wisdom, speak 'em now!

Fizz I would really recommend you find yourself a hypnobirthing group which help address all these fears. I'd steer away from the Mongan Method which seems a bit strict (ie if you have an intervention, drugs etc you're a failure - NOT helpful!) and see if you can find a Wise Hippo teacher who talk about getting the right birth for your baby on the day and don't want you to feel guilty at all. They want to help you to approach birth without the fear and trepidation that we all tend to have these days as we are bombarded with images and terror stories of horrific births. Who knows what will happen on the day for any of us, but if we can approach it positively and feeling in control of what we do and don't want that's surely a very good start!

So I'm full term in 2.5 weeks and EDD is in
5.5 weeks. Yikes! Very excited to meeting our little one soon and had a sudden flash of 'oh shit we're not ready' this morning so have just spent an extreme amount buying everything! Frustratingly it looks like our cot, that we were getting from a family member, has fallen through as they are now expecting themselves so that's that then. Mothercare have a sale on though so I got a deal - phew! They were also providing the car seat and I don't know where we stand with that one so am not sure if we can use it for 6 months then give it back...that would be my perfect solution as then we can get on of those seats that swivel making it easier for TWH to get the baby out of the car. They only start at 6 months though...ooh it's a tricky one!

Bear, congrats hag that's amazing news! Please do go onto the Besh page too and let them know - I think they could do with a cheer up over there. It's always good to know that it can and does work even when the odds are stacked against you.

How lucky to see you bear, congratulations! I hope things go smoothly from here on in.

luffly, not lucky! Stoopid autocorrect.

faith hello! How are you?

fab thank you for the recommendations. I've started doing some research. Started reading a book this morning (Juju someone?) and found myself crying, so lots of work needed I think! I like the idea of hypnobirthing CDs, though - i found the zita west ones very good during ivf.

Due date is getting close, then! Bummer about the cot but glad that you got a good deal. Borrowing the car seat for 6 months sounds ideal. We haven't bought anything yet; hopefully will be getting all the major stuff from my sister. Except their crazily huge all-terrain pram, which won't fit through the front door!

bad how are you doing?

Oh, and I stuck my head round the door of the BESH Fred and saw that driz got a BFP! If you're lurking here, hope everything is ok.

Thanks everyone. I might do that Fab. I wasn't sure whether to or not as I know how sad it can make you feel, but at the same time it's good to hear other people's success stories.
I'm only on week 8 now so I feel quite new to everything. I've been nauseous on and off and have had to take some time off work, but today I discovered acupressure bands and they seem to be working. Hurrah!
How exciting for those of you who are getting really close!
Fizz I agree with Fab- 2 of my friends used hypnobirthing and both have very calm babies.
Has anyone been watching Countdown to Life on bbc2? I'm fascinated. Going to start wittering away and reading to my baby tomorrow and it doesn't even have ears yet I don't think!
Also when did you all start buying stuff. OH won't let me until after 12 wk scan even though we had the 7 wk one and all was fine. Superstitious or careful? I'm not sure but won't be buying anything yet.

I didn't start buying stuff until pretty late and to be fair, I be only really started buying stuff in earnest in the last few days! A bit paranoid here - didn't want to tempt fate (even though I don't believe in it but you know what I mean!). I bought a few clothes over the summer though. Think my first one was at after the 20 week scan. Although I felt comfortable that the baby was sticking I just couldn't really believe it I guess.

Definitely sure it's sticky now as its 6lb apparently!!

I am full of cold but otherwise well thanks fizz!

bear I was about 14 weeks when we started buying bits. Nothing big until after the 20 week scan though.

Oh bugger to the cold hope you feel better soonest.

Hurrah - I'm back on the new app at last!! Oh happy day!

But where the fuck is the search button? I want to look at the BESH fred which fell off my I'm on and Watching thingies. I've got no 'ope.

Hi hags! Long time no post. Nice to meet you, bear.

24 weeks and feeling movement pretty much every day now. It's reassuring, for sure, but I find it a bit of an odd sensation. A bit alien, sort of. It's possible that I've watched too much horror and science fiction We haven't bought much. My mother, on the other hand...We have looked at prams, but that's about it.

I've been absolutely knackered too - I'm finding work really draining. It's mostly the early starts - need to be in most days at 7.30am, whereas during the summer 9.30am was grand, or I could work from home. But I'm also finding the students difficult as well. I might be slightly - whisper it - apathetic.

Fab it's almost October! Woop!

Oh also - can I just say I am fucking CRAVING wine. Seriously. I think it's the time of year (crazy work time), but it feels like forever since I had a lovely glass of red wine with dinner or to unwind. And if one more person tells me that they or their friend totally went off alcohol and even the smell of it made them sick, sure it must be nature's way of keeping you off the bad stuff blah blah blah, I might deck them.

Hello hags, just checking in and making sure you're keeping the bench warm

Fizzy I did Lazy Daisy classes for the Foal and found them really good, I'm not saying it was responsible for my positive birth experience but it definitely helped.

Hope to be back on a more regular basis in the not too distant future!

Ello Cavey! That sounds promising - do you reckon you'll be with us soon then?? Keeping everything crossed :)

Bad, I'm doing ok on the cravings for the shit we can't have but I am salivating over the thought of having a small glass of wine along with some lovely crusty bread, some pate and some blue cheese once the baby is here. Omg am I salivating. I don't need much - teeny glass of wine would be fine but boy will it be good! I'll send some fumes your way

Won't be that soon Fab, droid got me last week, but I'm keeping a positive mental attitude and all that shizzle. Hopefully I'll hear from the clinic to restart treatment in the next 6 weeks or so.

Mmmmm, luffly wine... I'm ok without rare steak or blue cheese, but wine and pate I could scoff a truckload of. I have discovered that it's socially unacceptable to say that you crave wine, so often have to stop myself and pretend I'm hankering after grapefruit instead.

24 weeks here too, and I'm with you on the movements thing, bad. I am considering doing an Alien style costume for halloween. Mad the mistake of googling pregnancy halloween costumes - there are some seriously macabre ideas out there!

bear we still haven't bought anything. I've bought a couple of maternity things but my bump is so small I'm still getting away with lots of ordinary dresses etc. my mum however has booked us in for a marathon mamas and papas shop in about a month despite us inheriting all my niece's baby things-

cave fingers crossed! We'll keep your seat warm for you.

Did any of you see the Facebook fertility post that went viral? I thought it was brilliant. I don't know if she is ttc but I would like to award her honorary ESH status anyway.

Hello Bad and Cave- nice to meet you both.

Ok that makes me feel a helluva lot better then as I can't stand the thought of shopping at the mo. I hate it at the best of times but trying to shop for a mythical creature is even more mystifying (at least that's what it feels like at the mo anyway!) I only want to buy kiddy books

Did not come across this viral post Fizz- can you direct us?

Bad- I know the feeling although I'm not even showing. I just can't get my head into work mode at the moment. Grim nearly vomming almost every hour is not helping my frame of mind either. I have students too so I geddit.

Hope you feel better soon Faith. Mr Bear was ill for the last couple of days and was convinced I'd get it too but managed to dodge his diseased self. Look after yourself.

Just got my first proper scan date through. Scary shit! I've already had a seven week one but this is a bit more real. I had to come home today too as the nearly vomming was taking over. Now can't decide what to do- watch some crap TV, read or sleep? No matter what I do I can't shake the grimness. I've tried ginger tea, biscuits, ritz crackers, acupressure bands, eating, not eating too much, but nothing seems to work. Any tips anyone? Thanks muchly.

Oh yes can anyone recommend any good pregnancy books? I like lots of detail total geek some sciencey bits and pictures/diagrams! Tar.

The Zita west book on pregnancy is nice - you could have a flick through that one?

Also re morning sickness my sister had a terrible time and reckoned the only way through it was to nibble on something every hour. If she was late by even. 5 mins she 'd vom so she had an alarm telling her to eat - she had a supply of biscuits and I must admit I had mini baby bells in my handbag for ages. Just in case. Also a little pot of nuts was good. Nothing crazy just little and often. Gooduck!

Cave - that's good news about the clinic - you could be on your way soon!!!

I was v lucky with sickness but when I did feel grim I found that cold fruit helped, esp grapes and strawberries. And oat cakes! Little and often def the best way forward.

I have enjoyed Bumpology by Linda Geddes - not much in the way of diagrams but some good sciencey details and debunking of common myths.

I am trying to regain zen like status after a difficult day involving a bloody awkward colleague. I've tried everything I can think of to have a good working relationship with this person but it's not happening. Grrrrrr! How many working days til Christmas??

A friend leant me this book while I was pregnant, 'twas very interesting.

YouCant are you still about? How's things going?

Cave! I just logged in to say hello and you mentioned me feels loved

All good here, little man growing like the clappers and doing well, changing by the day and doing something new all the time. DROID here at the moment with a vengeance and I'm supposed to be doing that dry October thing. However, I drank over the weekend so gave up. We have also decided to take the plunge and become real grown ups next year and buy a house. We won't be having No.2 for a good 5/6 years so next year would be a good time. Scary but exciting, still not sure I'm ready for that committment-marraige and baby are one thing but a mortgage strikes fear into my very core. needs to man up
Hope everyone is well. :) gin to all x