April 2015 thread 5: where we hit the half way point and determine the sexes

[TheBooMonster]

Hi Everyone.

Our previous thread is here and our stats thread is here Do make sure you update your details there if you haven't already :)

I loved BF while I could do it. I wasn't (and am still not, for this one, tbh) confident about doing it in public but I am very over sensitive/embarrassed about my body so this is something I really have to deal with as like I say, I am determined to BF this one.

I hope everyone is OK today, I got caught out in the rain earlier with the dog. Found out my waterproof coat isn't waterproof [FFS] Have had a hot bath and a little nap (day off work as I'm doing the weekend, DD is in nursery as I'd usually be in work today) and need to get dressed again to go and collect DD. The temptation to go in joggers and a hoody is strong but I would be Judged.

Hiding I went to boots, the first one I went in said they don't do the packs but the other local Boots do. So I walked over (they are crazy close where I live) and found a member of staff, they knew exactly what I was asking for when they saw the form.

It was easy and I worth it! I've got a tiny nappy trial pack, a small sudocream, some detol wipes, hand sanitiser, bump cream and baby bath wash. Oh and a detergent sample set, along with lots of vouchers and magazines.

How do you get the Bounty packs? I never got one with DD and I've had the first for this one but not the sudocrem/sanitiser etc one! Will I get it at my 20wk appointment or do I have to send something off?

hiding I'm having bambino at Bolton. I was born at St Marys and would love to have mine there too but its just not practical. Especially as we can get to Bolton in less than 8mins! Its such a shame that Fairfield stopped their maternity services but it must be lovely to already know a midwife working at North Manchester.

And greetings to fellow North Westerner wine&choccy!

Its fab to hear all these positive BFing stories, definitely helps reassure me somewhat as you do tend to hear more horror than success stories!

When I collected my Bounty pack from Boots they already had a stack of them behind the row of tills, along with the Baby Club freebie changing bag that they do. The cashier knew immediately what I was after.

Well I'm well confused about the mw appointments, at my 16w appointment the mw said see you in 8 weeks which makes me 24weeks but this is my second child so no idea what is going on. She did get confused at one point in the appointment and said it's your first isn't it and when I said no she shook her head at herself and asked if I'd felt any movement that day. So unless she has the mind of a sieve and forgot in the space of 5 minutes that I shouldn't get another appointment for a few more weeks I have no idea. It's says in the notes what everyone else has said (I checked them when I realised) I'm not complaining about an extra appointment it's her error not mine.

My DH has just come home from work with a teddy bear for the baby the soppy sod! I asked him to pick a present up from Early learning centre for our niece and they conned him into buying Edward the bear, baby now has a bear, monkey, cow, frog and Ewan the dream sheep

I got my 1st bounty pack at the midwife booking in appt and there was a form to fill in to get the 2nd one which you can collect from Boots, Asda and superdrug.

1 week until the 20 week scan

I'm off to the chippy now because I can't be bothered to cook tonight, this week has been really tiring at work.

Good to hear you've got your housing sorted Mel, and how horrible for you to have to go through domestic violence. Glad it's all behind you now

With regards to pumping, yes I struggled with BF (due to an undiagnosed Illness) but found expressing even harder (sorry not the most positive story!)

Hope you feel better soon Siarie, what are these oxygen things you can buy? I quite fancy a lie down in a nice dark oxygen tent after the day DD has given me. And breathe.....!

Oh and another one here with Louise as a middle name!

I didn't get a bounty pack at my mw appointment, I thought perhaps they didn't do them anymore. They aren't always great, think I only used the mini sudacreme last time the rest just had leaflets in and a tiny tube of nipple cream but as I already got a big tube (which is still half full. Must check to see if it has an expiry date) I didn't use it.

Hidingthefear here's my positive story. I did struggle with ds1 but mostly because no one noticed his rubbish latch. He very quickly (within a few weeks) went to 3 hrly feeds in the day and went from 8-6 with one feed a night from very early too and slept through from 12 weeks. I was quite strict with him and if I tried everything before I fed him as I knew I had to leave him and didn't want him to comfort feed. I will probably get many people disagreeing but once you get your supply established you don't need feed every time they cry. I wouldn't leave a baby crying if t was clearly hungry because it wasn't time but you do learn to tell the difference between a I'm starving hungry and a I can't fall asleep so want a few sucks to comfort myself and pass out on you cry. Ds2 was much easier to get started with but despite a cluster feed around 5.30 he got himself into a feeding routine too albeit a bit slower. I didn't spend hour after hour feeding mine and I did detach then if they clearly weren't swallowing which I know lots advise against.
I would say give it a go, expressing often gets less than a baby would so you may need to express more than once for one feed and then may be feeding a bottle for 20mins + depending on your baby so when your Dh is at work you may feel like you're expressing or feeding all day. Personally I loved a snuggle cuddle feeds (many were while I did other things and they fed so not all fairytale feeds) and found expressing totally soul destroying!

I haven't got my bounty pack either, have left the voucher in my maternity notes, hope it doesn't expire!

Hello all! I am so behind! Exam all done, biggest of my life, means I have sat all the exams for my professional qualifications and I found out yesterday that I passed! It's a huge weight off my shoulders, I feel like I can just enjoy life more now, as silly as that sounds. I'm very happy!

Have been on holiday this week at Centre Parcs for 4 nights, last minute booked a week ago, very cheap and we had a lovely time with dd. Lots of swimming, cycling with dd in a little trailer which she loved, the park, messy play painting and sticking, seeing the reindeer and beautiful Christmas lights, and evenings in front for the fire with dh eating all sorts of rubbish... It was great!

I still look fat not pregnant (looked jealously at the slim mums to be in the pool with their perfect early bumps!) but dh felt it yesterday for the first time and said it feels suddenly real And lying down its definitely mostly bump! Just under 2 weeks til our 20 week scan. My stoma is getting a bit painful now particularly if I lift sometimes, but I'm guessing that is because it is having to start to stretch

On the bf front - I bf dd only til 4 months because I was forced to stop to have some medication for my uc that I couldn't feed on. I was gutted. For the first 9 weeks it was AWFUL but I was so determined. We had thrush which wasn't treated properly so my nipples stung and burned it was so painful to feed. Once (a different) GP finally gave me the proper cream instead of the mouth gel for my nipples, 9 weeks if horror suddenly stopped and it was wonderful! It felt so special. Then I had to stop! I hope to be this one until he/she weans.

I'm not on the stats thread, but I am 32, due 14th April 2015 and it is dc2

Hope you are all ok!

Another bf positive story, even though i had a emcs my DD was a boob fiend and still is... i had a stupid HV who gave me all the wrong advice and told me to stip up straight and force her to feed for half an hour every time or something , i forget, but i went with my instincts and then went to the local breastfeeding cafe when she was 3 weeks and it was great, really supportive and a week later I was breasfeeding at the busstop!

I found bf sore for ten days or so whilst my nipples got used to it, but lots of lanisoh and it was fine. Definitely easier to feed in the night with boobs and when suddenly a train was cancelled and I was much later to get home than I'd thought, I had supplies with me.

I tried a routine and trying to extend between feeds but then DD was diagnosed with silent reflux (heartburn for babies) so then was advised to feed on demand because she wasn't able to eat as much on each feed without it causing her discomfort. Pretty exhausting stuff. lots of wailing. Eventually at 4 months we found out she was intolerant to dairy, eggs and soy and as soon as I stopped eating those things I got a much much much happier baby!!

Because of her silent reflux I had to give her a bottle with gaviscon from about 3-4 weeks at every feed and she didn't get nipple confusion, fortunately, though it was a lot of faff (and ultimately didn't work). I was a champ expresser - could get 6-8oz in 15 mins. From 4 months DH did a 10pm feed so I could go to bed at 830pm and get a good chunk before she woke at two or whatever. DD was a crap sleeper and didn't reliably sleep through til over a year. Hoping for better this time. Also hoping I don't get a baby with intolerances as it was pretty miserable for me not being being able to eat dairy, eggs or soy (and basically being unable to eat anything in a restaurant or shop). only bonus was that I lost all preg weight with no problem.

So I'm not sure if that's a positive story or not? BF was fine. Just the baby who wasn't! I bf exclusively until five months and then spent a month getting her onto (vile) hyperallergenic formula, stopped at six months. If I hadn't been so restricted in my diet, I think I would have bf longer but I found it really hard, as did DH (as it restricted what we could eat at home too).

I certainly plan to bf this time but hope to get DH to do a 10pm feed by a month or so. not sure how practical it will be to express with a toddler around tho.

I'm waiting for DD to go to bed too, need to eat before I go to my friends house and if I eat now she's going to want some too, even though she's already had her tea and isn't hungry. Just can't be bothered with the battle and DH disappeared upstairs as soon as he got in. Cheeky sod, not like he won't get the night off as once she's in bed she's down for the night.

Can I ask some advice ladies? I've been putting together a list of things we'll need for baby (first time parents who are first in friendship group to have babies so don't have anything already...).

Thought it would be good to get this together before Christmas in case people are wondering what to get us. Can you offer some advice as to if there's stuff missing / anything unnecessary? Thanks in advance!!

19 + 2 xxx

Baby list:

Crib with adjustable side and/ or bed adaptor for co-sleeping
Cot / cot bed (can wait until baby in own room though)
Car seat
Pram (uppababy vista)
Fabric sling - moby?
Changing mat
Travel changing mat
Changing bag
Tummy tub - eBay?
Blankets
Baby toiletries inc sponges, cotton pads, creams, wipes, etc
Nappies
Nappy bin
Sleeping / gro bags
Muslin squares
Clothes inc socks, scratch mittens, hats (newborn and 0-3 months)
Baby monitor
A few toys and books
Thermometer (room, water)

Congratulations daholster!

I never did a dream feed with mine, once they got into a bedtime routine about 10-12weeks they went from 8 until whenever they first woke up. I tried with both of them to do a feed just before I went to bed to give me long and they were both so disrupted by it I gave up after a week. It Was fine with ds1 as he was sleeping through quickly anyway but I was desperate to reduce ds2's wakings but they went from 3-4 night wakings (not always for milk) to 5-6 when I tried dream feeds

I was similar in the early days with ds1 londonlivvy up to 9oz in one quite short session but once I went back to work, when he was 6 months, I had to express at tea break and before going home to get a 9oz bottle, did that for 3 months! I got sooooo much less with ds2 and I really wanted Dh to do something at night as I was nearly dying having started working again when he was 3 weeks old.

Just reading back..

Congrats daholster! High five!

Mel that's great your housing issues are being sorted, you sound like a very brave and wonderful woman to survive domestic violence. Wishing you so much happiness from now on x

I'm definitely looking forward to breastfeeding, I love the idea so much!

Missed the middle bit of your post Mel0Drama, great news about your housing being sorted.

Probably need to be more specific about the car seat you want BrixtonBunny, I didn't use sponges and cotton pads but did use wipes from birth. Didn't have scratch mittens either and lots of babygros have them integrated, also didn't have a monitor but I know most do. With changing bag personally I think you need to have a look and see which has everything you want/need. I used a million Muslin squares with ds1, gro bags are fab. Do you want nursery furniture? Curtains? Wall stencils? Nightlight/Gro egg will cover nightlight and thermometer. I can remember anything else, it was sooooo long ago!!! Sling wise it's worth having a try too, I love the wrap types that I mentioned last week I think.

Brixton I'd say those are the basics. The majority of changing bags have a changing mat in them so you prob don't need a separate travel mat. I had 2 changing mats one upstairs and one downstairs pretty handy, we also borrowed a Moses basket to have downstairs and had the crib for the bedroom. Just made life easier for us but that's a personal preference and do whatever works best for you.

I used a bouncy chair for downstairs sleeping, lauren82000 reminded me , and a baby gym is good too. Ds2 also loved a sea version of this once he could hold his head up which was quite early!

Yea the Boots one have a persil hooded towel rather than baby wear, I was gutted when I realised!

Tonight for dinner I am having apple pie and custard with a side of (well stewed) mulled wine. class....

Brixton we didn't have a bath thermometer. my elbow worked fine. also for baths we got a bath insert. Basically a plastic armchair for baby. made it much easier to clean her as didn't have to worry about dropping a slippery baby.

We have a travel changing mat and have barely used it so wouldn't bother.

Definitely a bouncy chair and or baby gym. Bouncy chair invaluable for DD as she had to sit upright after every feed

We have a Hauck sit'n'relax which we found to be pretty useful, it meant DD could be at the table with us whilst we ate when she was diddy and then converted to the highchair (that she's started refusing this week, guess 2 years use was pretty good...) DD slept in the relax bit (even though I suspect she wasn't supposed to) during the day when we were all in the lounge as PiL's house was a bit chilly but they had a wood burning fire in the lounge. Ours did take forever to turn up though, It's just as well mum ordered it as early as she did as it took about four months of messing about in the end, but that was more to do with Asda than the product it's self... We were gifted about 5 baby bouncers and we used one a little bit, but not enough to have justified buying it.

We have a moby wrap, didn't get it till we actually had Dd with us as MiL was convinced that I wouldn't want to baby carry after carrying DD for 9 months, but it was quite useful for when I didn't need the storage facility that the tank offered and there are some yoga moves in the booklet that you can do whilst baby wearing!

Cherry if people are judgemental about tracky bottoms then what you need is a onesie. This one has little rabbits on it. OH looks jaded as I have threatened to wear it outdoors and it's so nice and furry I think the cat thinks it's another cat.