April 2015 thread 5: where we hit the half way point and determine the sexes

[TheBooMonster]

Hi Everyone.

Our previous thread is here and our stats thread is here Do make sure you update your details there if you haven't already :)

I think it's quite personal but seems common to stop during pregnancy OneDayLikeThis2103. Most dtd in our house is initiated by me, once I stopped feeling sick we have gone back to a couple of times a week but during the first trimester I was once a week if that and Dh did start to complain a bit. I think Im the minority though! We were back at it 3 weeks post birth too.

I agree with you to a certain extent Sairie but Dh wouldn't moan at me for a dirty house and a lot of things I do because I don't like how he does them. He also tidies up the kitchen after dinner and loads/unloads dishwasher plus we split the house for cleaning. I do all shopping, washing, ironing, most cooking (he cooks one evening a week when I run) and child care. When ds1 was small he screamed from 3pm-8pm so he would take him off me when he got in from work. I also feel that his commute is time to himself and he has tea breaks and a lunch break which i don't get. He is jealous of me being home in the morning while he's struggling Through traffic, whereas I'm rushing around nagging the boys to get dressed, eat breakfast and generally get ready for school plus answering the door and listening to all the things my minded parents need to tell me so not exactly relaxing either. I think it needs a bit of understanding from both sides! Dh'a collegue, gets in from work, takes him daughter, cooks dinner and then put hers to bed as his dw has been busy all day. She has now gone back to work 3 days a week and he does even more around the house, to me that's not fair either but each to their own.

So we had our scan today, lovely seeing it all and almost everything is fine. Placenta is out of the way of birth canal, heart, diaphragm, stomach, spine, brain, lip all look perfect but our little boy has one kidney which is enlarged. Upper limit 7mm and his left is 9.5mm got to book another scan at 32weeks at my hospital and have consultant appt. Could sort itself, could just require antibiotics straight after birth, may need scans or operation after birth but other kidney looks fine and she saw bladder emptying so hopefully it will not be too much to worry about and could have corrected itself by 32 weeks. Now to worry about it until mid feb :(
Ds2 said 'but I wanted a girl' and started crying when she told us it's a boy which set me off. Dh is disappointed and stupidly I feel guilty for not giving my mum a granddaughter! I have mixed feelings, almost feel I'm grieving for the daughter I'll never have (and those pretty dresses I won't buy ) but also relief as I'm really comfortable with boys!

Sorry to hear about the spotting worries, Lauren.

I've done a lot of sling research online and I quite fancy getting 2 (I am inherently greedy )

Je porte mon bebe ring sling

Connecta Integra

I know stretchies are good for newborns but I am too inept for tying a wrap sling or a mei tai so I think a ring sling and buckles will be the best option for me. I do have a Babybjorn Miracle which is lovely and easy to use and DD enjoys for short trips, but I've since heard they're not good for baby's hips when used for long periods and I think I want this second one in a sling more. However I did used to put the babybjorn in the basket underneath the pram and it did prove to be a lifesaver for the times when I was out and about and DD just did not want to be in the pram for another second longer. I just put DD in the sling and the shopping in the pram!

Anyone else feeling quite festive now? I think it's all the Christmassy adverts on TV.

one day nope, you're not the only one! Previously I was feeling far too sick to even contemplate it and now the nausea has gone, I just don't fancy it. Think OH is secretly put by the fact that bean is in there too.
I may surprise myself and launch myself at him soon but I very much doubt it!

I'm feeling v festive bonjour. The crimble markets have opened in Manchester and I've already been twice, (non alcoholic) mulled wine and bratwursts - love it! Cannot wait to get my tree and decs up, oh and get my Snowman advent calendar

Congratulations on your little boy cinnamon - I'm sure DS2 will soon love the thought of having a little brother and they will all have such fun growing up in a little gang of boys. Try not to worry too much about the kidney, it sounds like it could be something that will either resolve itself or be easily fixed. I know it's impossible not to worry, but what you've said doesn't sound too negative at all.

Bonjour I am definitely feeling the festive spirit - might have slipped a cheeky Christmas playlist onto Spotify yesterday...

Mmmmmm... bratwurst....

Just got DD up from her nap and en route to the stairs saw that a letter from Father christmas had arrived for her. Then looked down and noticed that I was wearing bright red Christmas ho ho ho socks (the only pair clean and in a matched set, I just grabbed this morning because my feet were cold! then on getting DD out of her sleeping bag saw I had dressed her in bright red leggings as part of her ensemble. I'm obviously subconsciously feeling more christmassy than I'd realised! fsmile]

damn smiley fail! That feels better!

cinnamon, congratulations on the boy! Sorry to hear about the concerning kidney, hopefully it will self-correct, does sound minor if not (am no expert though). Have you thought of a name?

How is everyone else coming along with names?

Bonjour, those slings look great. Happy shopping.

I am Xmas crazy, but for the sake of everyone around me, I contain it all in December. We are booked for the Xmas thing at Pepper Pig World at the start of December, will combine it with a trip to Winchester cathedral Xmas market, and do some London stuff (department store window displays, bus ride along Oxford street, look at the lights, maybe catch a show.) Hyde Park Winter Wonderland. Can't wait. I do all the Mn traditions stuff - advent box arrives on the 1st (contains festive socks, festive books, colouring books and workbooks etc for DS, a new festive top, etc - stuff to get us in the mood all month). Elf on the shelf also arrives. Xmas films all month long, Xmas music. Also do a little Xmas Eve hamper, and loads of stuff throughout December. And all out for Xmas Day - wrapping paper covering the door, glitter everywhere, Santa footprints.

I am a sahm and definitely feel like I got the better deal. I absolutely love love love it. It works for us. One benefit of having DS and DD a little later than many, a little more financially stable than I was in my twenties. We eat out or get a takeaway once or twice a month, other than that, I do all the cooking. Feels fair, as DH can spend this time with DS. Plus I am the fussier eater so get to cook my way. Same for the washing up. I do 90% of the cleaning, though 90% of not much isn't a lot, so it's no big deal. :) Laundry doesn't feel like a chore as we have a washing machine, and don't iron. DH does the DIY, and most of the boring stuff like dealing with bills and bank crap, all tech stuff.

Oh cinnamon I think it's fair that you feel you are grieving for the daughter you wanted. Let's face it we all want to buy the pretty things! But a band of strapping lads to look after you into your old age is pretty cool. At least you won't have to put up with the compaints from your daughter about her annoying older brothers!!! They'll have great fun. I think you'll have your work cut out though, depending on the age gap!

I am sure the kidney thing will work out. If the bladder is emptying etc then it's not obviously life threatening which is what we all fear.

I am so undecided about how I'll feel eitherway sex wise with this baby... Dh would love a boy to take to rugby etc but would be happy with either really, I'd love to give him a boy, and would like one of each, but will mourn for dd that she doesn't get a little sister. Still, she might hate a little sister and much prefer a brother! She's too young to understand at the moment. So I think I'll be happy AND disappointed either way! Just when I needed boy/girl twins!

Bonjour they both look like good starter slings. I found that once I got into babywearing I started to try different things to find what really suited me.

daholster i'm begining to think that no matter what the sex is i'm going to feel guilty or upset anyway but it seems to be fairly normal to have these mixed emotions which makes me feel a little better at the same time if that makes sense.
If it's a boy i'll feel bad that DH's Nan doens't get the girl she desperately wants (because her family is swamped with boys) and that DH would like a boy. And If it's a girl i'll feel guilty that i wanted a boy and that DH's other gran doesn't get the boy she is really hoping for. I'm blaming his lot for the pressure!!! my family are just happy i'm having a child at all as they all thought I wasn't going to have any haha

I feel the same - I want one of each and have imagined it being both sexes so either way it is both exciting and a tiny bit disappointing. I can't wait to find out though!

cinnamon I get you, were only having two and I so want a girl. The relief of knowing that this one is a girl (let's hope that doesn't change) meant that I didn't have that nerve wracking time for the second one. If I get two girls that's fine, but I would prefer one of each. But I would feel like I was missing something if I hadn't had a girl. X

having two boys is great fun, Cinnamon. You'll see what I mean. Part of me wants this baby to be a third son, because 2 is so much fun so 3 would be even more so! but at the same time I do kind of want a girl too, because I can make so many pretty things!

I have never felt like I'm missing something though by having my two boys.

I am so excited we are having a boy! I have lots of little girls around me and swamp them in sparkles and glitter at every opportunity! They are all really girly and they are all very excited for a little boy too!!

upduffed the zeta vooom looks great! I wanted a carrycot last time as DD was a winter baby (and turned out to be prem too) but since we're having spring babies then no need.

We're stopping after this baby so will be a 2 girl family. Part of me feels disappointed I'll never have a boy, just for the different experience. But then I also strongly believe that you can't tell what a child will be like just from its gender - and DC2 will be a different experience regardless of its gender - so there is no real logic in wanting one or the other iyswim. (Apart from the dresses! but DD is in trousers most days anyway)

cinnamon my friend has that kidney issue, she is 30 weeks and nearly at her check up scan. The doctors told her it's really common and not one to worry about, the vast majority sort themselves by birth, of the few that don't the vast majority just need antibiotics, and of the very very few that doesn't sort, virtually all are sorted by a quick op. They said "if you're going to find an issue at the 20 week scan this is the one you want to find"!

Slings - I want a beco gemini! Currently scouring for second hand ones, 2 years ago there were none but they seem to be better known now so there are a few around.

God I've been really horny, I was most upset when orgasm caused really bad cramps recently but it doesn't seem to happen every time so I'm all set to pounce on DP when he comes here on Friday, I haven't seen him for weeks.

We have a boy's name but not a girl's yet. I like some of the pretty girl's stuff but tbh I don't really like huge piles of pink frills, and the stuff I always do want is stripy boy's T-shirts and tough little walking boots and things. So if mine is a girl I just hope she's an active little tomboy who is into dinosaurs and trains.

OH would secretly like a boy. I keep telling him "girls are obsessed with their Dads". His little cousin (girl) is really into OH and literally hangs off him. Boy cousin likes to hang out with the ladies. Same with my nieces-they are really into my bro and the nephew into his mum. Think OH can't imagine a girl as he is a man's man.

the zeta vooom is great.. youngest was a halloween baby but the cosytoes was very thick and warm so it was fine for winter.
But don't do what I did and get the lime green one, it gets so grubby-looking so very quickly. Not so much a problem when they're babies but toddlers and mucky shoes... ick!

my libido hasn't changed this pregnancy... it's always been fairly high. Luckily for me my partner's not put off by pregnancy (seems to be the opposite) so it's all good. My ex (father of my 2 boys) always refused at all while I was pregnant, so I was extremely frustrated (TMI! sorry) by the time I'd healed from the caesarian each time.

OneDay and Lauren we are too scared to DTD.

After I had a heavy bleed (we think DTD a few days earlier could have caused it) we got spooked. And the hospital said no orgasms LOL!! That was about six weeks ago but OH is ok with abstaining.
I had an internal and that caused bleeding too so DTD might be dodgy.

It's the sperm that determines gender not our eggs so guilt on our part is irrelevant.

Have decided to ignore the baby Bjorn advice on grounds that we gce it already, DD's hips seem fine and dandy, it's really comfy for me and John Lewis who I trust implicitly still sell it.

Thanks minipie that's reassuring.

I have 2 1/2 boys already upduffedsecret so I know how awesome they are and am very happy with a boy :) dss(13), ds1(7), ds2(4)

I don't get cramps as such but my uterus gets very tight post orgasm catsofa if that's similar? It also goes very tight when I exercise too so guess it's just holding on to the baby extra securely :)

My stepdad used to drag my brother fishing and he hated it, so wanted a manly boy which my brother wasn't! I was but he didn't want to take me because I was a girl but much more boy like than my brother so you never know personality wise with either sex.

No names, Dh is a nightmare. We waiting with both boys until they were born to decide a name but did have a short list.

wine I'm lurking on both at the moment.

We had our first proper name conversation while we were away - I had him trapped in the car on a road trip and went through my app of baby names reading them all out to him and getting him to say yes/no as he never ever suggests names off his own back. Luckily we agree on a handful of names for both sexes, including some of my favourite girls names. He's not sold on my favourite boys name yet but is happy to consider it. It's really annoying because we have one boys name that we both love but a friend of mine is due two months before me and has announced to the world that she's having a boy and calling him that name so I feel like I can't really use it. DH reckons it's fine to use the same name as we don't see her all the time, but I think I'd rather find a different one if possible. Think we'll talk properly about narrowing down the lists when we know what we're having - if it's a girl then there's no problem and we could always use the name next time if it's a boy as time will have passed and it will seem less copycat. I think that's the one reason I have a slight preference for a girl at the moment - ease of naming!