April 2015 thread 5: where we hit the half way point and determine the sexes

[TheBooMonster]

Hi Everyone.

Our previous thread is here and our stats thread is here Do make sure you update your details there if you haven't already :)

boo I think I'll pass thanks!

Thanks for setting up this thread Marking my place EDD is the 12th of April! ....got my scan on Monday eek exciteing

smog I hadn't even thought about a sling! I thought I'd probably need something that will last from birth through to toddling and I'd like something that works as a travel system, so that plus our around £5-600 budget and my fussiness has limited us a bit. I liked the lightness and easy fold of the Graco Evo but was told the car seats are not great for small babies. Front runner remains SC Wayfarer I guess!

catsofa - defo agree with the comments to join a local Facebook selling page, I often see great pushchairs advertised on there at decent prices. Hope you find something you like!

wine I just ordered the exact same dress as you from Purpless, and I do like it, but be aware, I also ordered the cocktail one and it comes up short and small, IMO far too slutty (on me!). And their returns policy is a bit dodgy too, as a result I am keeping the slutty dress to wear as a top with a very underneath!

lauren sorry you have had such a tough year

VEST underneath, even!

Welcome saiyme

littlesupersparks cheers x

I've got until April so plenty of time to find something, thanks for all the pointers!

Right I think we are no longer dtd for the rest of this pregnancy. 'Everything' was very pink last night when we were cleaning up and I'm still getting pink this morning although it is a lighter shade. Anxiously waiting to feel some movement so I know the baby is ok. Annoying as I seem to have an afternoon & early evening wiggler in there. Not sure my nerves can handle having to wait till afternoon before I get any movement.

I know it's probably fine and we just knocked my cervix but it was pretty dark pink I've lost my mojo anyway and only dtd for DH as I'm getting nothing out of it.

Just caught up on yesterday's convos as had a rare day with no MN!

Upduffed, think we'll do the same as you re pram - I love our Bugaboo so might just get a buggy board for it. Was looking at the Bugaboo Donkey double yesterday but although it's lovely I don't know how long we'd actually use it as a double.

Siarie, my boobs didn't grow at all last time and only a smidge so far, but then again, the fact they are 95% silicone might have something to do with it! They went up a cup size or 2 whilst I was breastfeeding but shrank straight back down when I stopped and look exactly the same as pre DD. I did have, as Keith Lemmon would say, 'boy tits' to begin with!!

Lauren, sorry to hear about your auntie, hopefully they've found it early. And what a crap year for you and your DH. That's rubbish about the pink spotting too, but I guess you've had it so often you must know not to panic. Must still be unsettling though. Take it easy for the rest if the day and remind your DH that you can still be intimate in other, less intrusive ways

Morning

Big hugs Lauren, I hope you're OK. I'm really sorry about your aunt. catsofa, we got our 'dog walking' pram for £40 off eBay, you can get cheaper ones! Don't panic .

DP and I work together (we're both managers in a shop, although he is the general manager, I'm a deputy) and we had a Discussion last night wrt whether it's worth me returning to work after #2 as he has a meeting tonight with the owner to discuss budgets/wages etc for the next year. If I go back to work, we'll be £80pm better off. Hardly seems worth it . So DP doesn't think I should bother. I thought I'd love the prospect of not working, but I'm surprised at how upset it's made me. I'm taking statutory ML though so do have time to think about it, with DD they gave me an enhanced package but it meant I had to return to work for at least 6 months.

I haven't slept well though, I really thought I was going to be sick at 5am and my head hurts so all that will be making me more 'meh' as well. Still, my parents are coming up tomorrow-Sunday (they live 150miles away and haven't seen DD since July) and Sunday afternoon, DP, DD and I are off to London to buy Heat magazine for a couple of days to be a tourist (I love being a tourist in London) and maybe see the poppies IF there are any still there.

Cherry lips not working is great, I'm still in bed. I have to get up though as I've got someone coming this morning to do some tests on our appliances.

But seriously I love it, the biggest demand on my time right now is deciding where to get my nails done before we fly off for holiday. Once we have this little one it will be more hectic but I don't miss working at all.

I would love not to work cherrylips1980 but I know many who wouldn't. You shouldn't feel guilty about what you feel at all and if you're not happy could you not work at the same place a couple of evenings or weekend day when Dh isn't working? Even if it's no in deputy manager position? If having a bit of your own money and seeing people a few times a week will make you feel happier then find an alternative. Have you thought about tax credits? Will you get some without your salary? Obviously not working tax credits but there are other types and you will get an increase in cb as well I get £136 every 4 weeks for 2 children.

Can you maybe look into talking a career break rather than resigning? That's what I'm thinking of doing. I used to be very career focussed but think it might be time to step back and be a mum for a bit. I've told hubby that it all depends, cause I might be desperate to go back to work. Nothing is forever, so try it and see how you feel.

I only work weekends cherry and tbh even with that I tend to feel like i've 'lost my identity' at times. DH gets home and expects that the house will be clean, dinner will be on the table and that DD will have had a fabulous day of fun activities, he doesn't seem to understand that I don't have any more time in my day each day than he does on the days that he is not at work, so either the cleaning, the cooking or our daughter who I'm home to look after is going to miss out. And despite the fact that I'm run ragged on the days that I'm not at work these are supposedly my 'days off' he stops around like an overgrown child if I expect much of him on his Days Off, and heaven forbid he has to get up with DD! Once DD and bump are in school I will run screaming back to something closer resembling full time work!

lauren that doesn't sound good! How far along are you again?

Ahh cinnamon I love my CB, it pops into the account at the end of the month when your rubbing your last 2 pennies together and makes all the difference between overdraft or not. Can't wait for it to go up a bit more, it's a shame it doesn't stay the same rate for every child you have but then it would get abused by those with a football team amount of kids.

upduffed phew, glad it's not just me with the stress incontenence thing. luckily it's not too bad but it is a bit of a problem when I'm heaving and throwing up evey morning. I like your swaddling idea haha. hope you feel better soon though, rubbish being ill when your only aid is Paracetamol.

Thank you Tiny , cherry, squatting and stunnun re the slings and breastfeeding, i'll be checking out google on my dinner break for some ideas. Didn't realise there was so much choice!!
Hopefully I will have a good enough supply that once i'm back at work I could still feed evenings and nights etc without expressing. didn't realise it would be possible so maybe I won't have to give up breastfeeding entirely just because i come back to work.

you're all so helpful : )

I'm 18+1 Boo, it seems to be settling a bit now and I felt some wiggles before I came to work so everything should be fine. I'll ask at my scan on the 3rd if the haematoma has gone yet and if it has I'll be ringing the mw as I'm still getting the odd day where its a slightly darker colour without having sex. It could probably do with investigating in case I have a dodgy cervix.

Boo that does happen, interestingly though my DH did make a good point. I said that if a mum is looking after a child all day and all evening then they never get a break. But he said if he goes to work then has to look after a child all evening neither does he. So I think it's a bit of s compromise.

I'll be happy to do the child care in the day (with a cleaner) and then in the evenings and weekends we share so that we both get a break. I'm happy with that, he's a good guy and wants to be involved as much as possible which is great.

I think if you have family around that helps, we don't so will have to find good outside agencies.

I'm having a really good day today! Feeling really festive.

Just realised how many times I used the word good, clearly a very great day :)

This thread is a hazard! Stood reading it at the bus stop and looked up to see my bus - the only one that will get me to my midwife appointment on time - had driven straight past me! Luckily I'm in London so the traffic is bad and the stops are close together so I managed to walk very quickly to the next stop and beat the bus there as it got stuck at the lights.

I will definitely be going back to work. I quite like the idea of being a SAHM but we would really suffer financially and I have worked hard over the last few years to establish myself in my career and it's not one that would be easy to get back into after a few years' break. If I was in a job that was easier to return to i might feel differently. I'm very lucky in that we won't have to pay for childcare as my lovely mum has offered to have the baby 3 days a week for me to go back part time.

cheaper prams & buggies aren't necessarily bad quality. I love my zeta vooom (even if the triple-O in "vooom" is a bit daft), and that was cheap. My only complaint was that it didn't parent-face, but it didn't cost me a fortune, the handles were high enough for the 6'1" daddy to push (not that he ever has), and it fit in the back of the fiat 500!

2 years on (and my youngest is not a lightweight, he's a chunk!) and it's still going strong. I do need to clean it though! If my youngest can manage on buggy board by the time I have this baby then I won't be buying another buggy. If he can't, then I'm planning to get (probably) the double version by the same company.

Gosh I'm not nearly so understanding with my DH! Basically work for me is a bit of a break sometimes, depending on DD's mood - yesterday and this morning she was a darling to be fair. And I always get to finish a cup of tea while it's hot at work and often someone's brought it to me. And people listen to what I say (or pretend to) and let me finish my sentence... I think DHs need to spend a day in main carer's shoes. It really is the only way to understand how little you can realistically get done. On the odd day DH has DD I come home to a happy daughter but a messy house and an unloaded dishwasher. The more of these days he does the better be gets however.

Rusty - this time around I'm going to have DC2 in sling at six weeks or whenever he or she can hold head up and I'll ditch buggy for next few months- probably until about 4-5 months, then Maclaren at 6 months. They don't weigh much initially. Rucksack instead of changing bag. I just like being able to nip about, get past people without having to say excuse me ten times etc. also DD wedded to her scooter so easier to combine that with a sling.

Lauren - I've not felt much movement yet and like you I'm 18+1 so try not to worry too much. Can't say I'm feeling the need to DTD much ATM. Last couple of times we've tried DD has charged in to show us what she's wearing, putting a swift end to proceedings.

lauren sorry you're having a worry with the spotting. Take reassurance in that you know what it is. I understand your worry though

Am I the only one who hasn't DTD since falling pregnant!? Am I a terrible wife?! I can't think of anything worse at the moment, that's time I could be sleeping! Poor DH, he hasn't said a word (apart from muttering something about reading in his 'pregancy for me' book that i'm supposed to be up for it more in the second tri!)

No you're not OneDay. If it were up to me to initiate anything, nothing would have happened. I'm looking forward to a quiet few months

Oh dear all these poor dps! My dh has been lucky a few times but it's me being kind in my opinion, I'd rather have a cuddle and go to sleep!!! I think all this business of raging hormones making you a queen of the bedroom when you are pregnant is utter rubbish. I'd love it if it did... I'd love to feel that way, but just don't and I'm 19+2. It didn't happen last time and is not likely by this point this time either I don't think! Then there is the post birth bit where he stayed away for about 6 weeks so that extends the dearth for them even longer! I don't get why, when they have a pregnant partner, their hormones don't change to match and just be protective. It would be nice. But I imagine it stems from cave man days when they were just designed to spread their seed far and wide... Equally we are designed to shut down and nurture - in groups, which is of course why maternity leave coffee shop meetings are so important