April 2015 thread 5: where we hit the half way point and determine the sexes

[TheBooMonster]

Hi Everyone.

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I've had plenty of movement on and off today so I'm not too worried, except about half an hour ago I got a really bad ache that I think is trapped wind like I get with my period. It can be agony. Plus I was in some leggings that have really strong elastic in the material and think it's been squishing me all day and my tummy has just reached its limit. Already feel better now I've whipped the offending article off and stuck my jammie bottoms on, getting some lovely movements. Maybe baby was very squished and is now dancing for joy at the extra room still spotting but it's not been too bad, just my normal amount of dc but beige instead of creamy/white. Which means bleeding is over this time, it'll just take a day or two to flush out completely. When I told DH that I didn't want to go shopping because I was uncomfortable he said he's not humping me again. He said it in his silly sad voice so think dtd is definitely on the back burner for a couple of weeks until things settle down again then we will try again. He did ask seriously if it was because we dtd and I said no. (It probably didn't help but don't want him feeling guilty.)

They never seemed very bothered about it at the hospital or mw just said one of those things and some woman spot all the way through. Looks like I'm going to be one of them. I'll mention it again at my scan and mw appointment on New Year's Eve. But as long as I'm still feeling movement I know they will be pretty meh about it. So I'm trying to stay chilled.

That sounds reassuring, Lauren. Sorry you are in some pain though.

17+3

Not really freedom it's just what I tell myself so I'm not camped out at the hospital. After the first few times of ringing every time it happened to get used to the lack of enthusiasm from the healthcare professionals and just shrug it off too.

(hugs) Then I hope this passes fast for you. I think you have the right attitude, nothing else you can really do.

Smogs the BabyBjorn won't do anything to a baby that isn't at risk of hip dysplasia so it's fine to use yours. It just isn't recommended by babywearing groups because it is less comfortable and supportive for the baby and the wearer so if people are buying a new carrier then make sure to get one with a wide base that supports the baby knee to knee in a more natural position.

Cinnamon congrats on your littlest boy! I'm sure once you're used to the idea you will love it - a band of boys sounds super fun, and I'm sure your boys will adore having a little brother. One of my aunties has four boys and they are all so close despite being in their 20s and 30s in a way that I genuinely don't think they would have been if some had been girls. I love my brother but "click" more with my sister, so you may find your gang bond better.

20 + 1 x

Ah thanks Stuntnun that's good to know, in spite of my bravado!

Brixton I am having a mad moment for your auntie and all her children and remembering when I wanted four or five... before no 1 came along and I realised what's involved.

Lauren I reckon I am having a bit of movement after all - little flutters rather than great big kicks obviously at this stage. Not really got a bump yet but there is a sort of hard curvy shape in my lower abdomen.

18 + 1

We've DTD once since I got pregnant and DP said everything had changed and felt 'weird' [dafuq] so we haven't since. Mostly because we've both been ill since - if I'm ok, he isn't and vice versa.

Having a bit of a battle with DD tonight. She goes to bed at the same time as us which is frankly ridiculous. She does sleep through though. However, I've decided tonight is the night we need to start earlier bedtimes as she fell asleep downstairs during her last bottle. So we (she and I) have come upstairs, as per our usual routine and she's woken up ready to play. Except she's not really cos she's fighting sleep but she's pretty furious about it. Just as well I didn't have a million and one things to do before my parents come up tomorrow and judge my pigsty house, huh? She's going into her own room next weekend. I'm both excited and a bit sad.

We're only planning to have two children so I am hoping for a boy tbh. We'll be pleased either way, obvs but yeah, I'd love a boy. DP would too, if he was pressed.

Thanks for the comments on my work post earlier, it's a TheBooMonster said, I'm a bit scared of losing me. Also, I am the default parent, always and every time. I don't mind when I've been at home all day but when we've both been at work too (an 11 hour day), plus I have my horse to sort out as well (she's kept 4 miles away), I get cross. And I'm pretty sure that wouldn't change with two. But I obviously still have thinking to do because the whole time I've been totally for - and looking forwards to - giving up work, now the time is here, it seems I'm not as ok about it as I thought.

[sigh] DD is wide awake.

Smogs mine gets all hard in one particular place all of a sudden and it's either a head or a bum as it's quite a big hard lump. Well bigger than a foot, knee or elbow at this stage. I get a big roll every few days and some wiggling, otherwise it's soft pokes and kicks quite far spaced out throughout the day.
The girl I work with is only a week behind me and she has barely felt anything and this is her third baby. Glad your finally getting a bit of something it's so very reassuring.

This was my latest and third for feeling movement so I think you just never know. One of my mums was saying yesterday she still hadnt felt her ds when she had her 20wk scan so was convinced he was going to be dead but instead he didn't stop moving during the whole scan and ahe didn't feel a thing, had anterior placenta though. Mine is actually to the left so not anterior at all. Dh actually got kicked last night when I cuddled up behind him!

[sigh] DD back downstairs and watching TBBT. #fail

Tbh I don't remember feeling much until 20 odd last time but bc I hadn't read up on it I wasn't worried!

Lauren it's mainly the odd rumble/ shudder/ flutter. I'd put it down to digestive processes previously but now think it may well be the baby.

Cherry - ours was also a shocker tonight. She's 3.2. Finally went to bed after five stories she had better not wake up at 5:50 again tomorrow. She used to be an A* sleeper but has been letting herself down recently.

Good night all.

cherry DD used to go to bed at basically the same time as us, but I put my foot down in the end, we had a month or so of fighting because I set an alarm for 8pm and she would go to bed then, which she was pretty pissed off about, but I stood firm even if DH had to be tied to his computer chair and she eventually got the message, now she goes to bed at 7pm (a convenient fluke of the clocks changing, expect that won't be so easy when they change in the spring, especially with bump) though some nights (like tonight) she will fight and scream about it anyway, and as a general rule DH will give in and bring her down (man has no self control, either that or I'm a cold hearted bitch?)

DD has spent the whole day really winding me up, she seemingly sits and waits till I've sat down and then announces that she desperately needs a drink... right that second... or something to eat... and it can't possibly wait... or she'll go for a poo when I'm out of the room and not let me know until I've sat down and got comfortable, and then when she's run out of those tactics she'll find something to empty / destroy for me. All whilst I was bouncing up and down dealing with the chickens who had a feather in their tail about something and wouldn't stop clucking at the top of their little chicken lungs. It took me all day in the end to find and pay for some food dye gel and icing that I really need to turn up in time to make and decorate a 4 layer cake and accompanying cupcakes and meringues for next Thursday >.>

DS has always gone to bed at the same time as us. Usually 11.30ish. He sleeps well, and is full of beans the next day, and happy. No bedtime battles. We let him follow his natural rhythms/body clock, and it suits us all.

I'm torn FreedomHunter, I really am. She's adamant she isn't sleeping for anyone now, so I've totally shot myself in the foot tonight. DP not really helped by playing Peekaboo with her because he hasn't seen her all day. :-/ As my friend said, it's only a problem if it's a problem for us, which it isn't really at the moment, but... I'd really like some evening time to myself where I can use my laptop or watch something on TV before #2 arrives.

I feel rather selfish today.

Part of the reason we have DS up for as long as he wishes is that it gives him lots of time with DH. Otherwise, DH will get home at half six, and if we put DS to bed at eight-ish, see him for an hour and a half, time spent eating, then that would be it. This feels like good quality time for them. For us all as a family. Tonight DS watched a cartoon on the big screen, sat snuggled into us, whilst we watched a grown up show on the laptop. He is currently climbing up his father's back whilst I grab a moment to MN. Happy all round. I really feel like this time goes so so fast, and soon enough he will be off with his pals, doing his own thing. It works for us.

Sorry, it's freedomhuntress

Tbh, it works quite well for us usually, that's what I meant about being selfish last night. Anyway, I shot myself in the foot well and truly because she refused to sleep until half midnight, was up again at 2am and finally came into bed with us at 4.30am. Why can't she do this on the days I'm not at work?!

Hope every one has a good day today, my parents are up this evening for DDs 'second first birthday' (it was two weeks ago but they're 150miles away so didn't see her). Lots of presents for DD and she's now walking confidently about the house - we haven't told them she's walking yet so hopefully they'll take it as the nice surprise we've intended it to be and not start carrying on about how we never tell them anything. Could go either way.

It wouldn't work for me and I personally believe a good bedtime routine benefits everyone. We are asleep by 10.30 every night though!! DH has time to wind up play with the kids before bedtime then we all have some time upstairs getting ready for bed, story and they are asleep by 8.30 every night. They have had a bedtime from about 12 weeks so it's not something that needs to be introduced which would be tricker to do. Then again mine have to get up in the morning at 7.30 and don't have naps so the only way to get their required 11-12hrs is to go to bed earlier than us. I enjoy my time with Dh to chat, cuddle watch adult to without worrying what they see that's inappropriate (again more difficult as they get older as they pick up lots they shouldn't!) and I don't think that's selfish.

Sort x-post Misty414! That really sucks. I think posted before that I had a similar problem with my first proper job, first month I only got half term salary and had my first mortgage payment to make, luckily a lovely person in my department Took pity on me and literally paid me with the cash from the card and keys deposit box (I was only earnings £9k a year net) :)

I agree with cinnamon, I strongly think a good bedtime routine benefits everyone. I don't know how old the rest of your children are, DD turned 1 3 weeks ago. Her routine is as follows:

• Dinner around 5.30/6.00, depending on how hungry she is!
• Watch cbeebies bedtime hour and sing the bedtime song at the end of it.
• Off for a bath at 7.00
• Out of bath and into bed by 7.20.

She then sleeps through until 6.30/7.00 It took a long while before she slept all the way through without any night time wakings, but the routine really helps her to settle down in the first place.

It also gives DH and me a chance to eat dinner in peace and switch off mentally once she is in bed. We can watch whatever we like on TV without worrying about what she is taking in (or in my case, mumsnet.)

If we let her stay up she'd be tired and stroppy and up to no good!

Sorry to hear payroll are still messing up your salary, Misty.

My DD is nearly 3 and the solution was to cut out the nap...

She goes to be usually at 8pm and that works for us, my DH doesn't get home until 7, so he gets one hour with her...

If she naps at school, it can take over an hour to get her to sleep and the main issue is she wants me to lie down next to her holding her hand.. if she doesn't nap or is tired, she goes to sleep with just 5 minutes on the boob... bliss...

Main issue we are having are nightmares and night terrors but there is nothing to be done and she will grow out of them eventually.

Mostly she sleeps well and the gro-clock is a godsend for the wake ups (she now comes to us when the "sunshine is out!!"

Lauren I'm sure I read somewhere that for some ladies DTD can cause bleeding (if already bleeding often). The recommendation was to not DTD for those women, I want to say weak cervix but I can't remember if that was it.

My 12 week scan my placenta was listed as left lateral but at my gender scan the placenta was starting to grow over the front. So I guess I am slightly anterior but I've felt loads of movement. Will be interesting to see what they say at my 20 week scan.