Feb 2015 - Creeping closer towards the third trimester!

[hanflan]

STATS

The midwives there have been all very lovely. The one that comforted me today even said the way I was being treated was ridiculous. Both consultants I've seen were rude, obstructive and condescending. I still can't believe she used "air quotes" when talking about our feelings and wants from the whole thing.

She pretty much said RE: NICE Guidelines "They're guidelines, but ultimately it is our decision"

All this talk of weight has made me go get weighed - I'm allergic to it normally - well not too bad a total of 4kg - see what happens over the next 12 weeks!!!

I still can't believe she used "air quotes" when talking about our feelings and wants from the whole thing. - that is discusting, absolutely disgusting. I don't even know what to say to any HCP who thinks that's ok, never mind a consultant. Just gobsmacking.

She pretty much said RE: NICE Guidelines "They're guidelines, but ultimately it is our decision"

But if they don't follow best practice guidelines they still have to meet your physical, emotional and psychological needs. Did the condescending cow even give a way they plan to meet those needs , without following best practice guidelines?

I'm so angry at how you've been treated. Tbh I'd consider whether you have grounds for a GMC complaint too against Ms Air Quotes.

I do sympathise with your bad luck with work and HCP, I really do. My first pregnancy and postnatal period was filled with lots bad luck with how work and HCP's treated me. Then I experienced the worst consultant I could imagine during my traumatic mmc. Thankfully my luck has changed this time.

How I've not completely lost my marbles over the past seven months is a sodding miracle... I think knowing that little cub is doing well and growing/developing at the proper rate is spurring me on!

Poor you frenetic, it sounds like you got a right pillock of a consultant, just who do they think they are?! I'm also mad on your behalf. Get yourself sorted at another hospital then work on that complaint letter. And don't forget to relax and enjoy your pregnancy in the meantime!

Jen you just keep plodding on, sounds like you've also been having a bit of a time of it but just keep cooking that little one of yours and before you know it you'll be holding them thinking 'all that bloody stress, but worth it'!

Memphis - you sound very organised to me. We've managed to get the odd xmas pressie but they're all sat on the dining table, which I can't use to eat a meal at cos it's piles with junk :-/ Including the latest 'gift', two hand knitted baby blankets :-D

It's getting a bit weird at work in that all the 'heavy' winter jobs are happening e.g. removal of a hedge resulting in whole team effort to dig the remaining roots out once the mini-digger removed the actual stumps. And planting 4,500 bulbs. Needless to say I'm exempted from these jobs so today, whilst everyone else was planting bulbs, I was counting them out into their batches. Admittedly in the warm and dry with a radio whilst they were in the mizzle. I shouldn't complain but it does feel a bit isolating. I couldn't realistically of helped with any of these jobs so I think part of it is just feeling useless. Hey ho. Only 3 weeks to go :-D Sorry for the epic post. Take care out there all.

Frenetic, considering what a rubbish time youve had over your pregnancy so far, you are doing amazingly for not going postal and smacking someone! Cant believe how poorly youre being treated and wishing you all the luck for the next hospital xx

Geeky pregnancy or not I have a 1st of december deadline to get all of my presents bought, never wrapped though, but as the baby is so high now leaning over to wrap is a bit painful so want it out the way. I also want to do sewing for baby room soon. I have 8 for xmas day and 8 for boxing day and I am catering so don't want stress near xmas!
I bet its different from your usual winters at work, mum did the banking and xame back to find me dangling from the roof wirh a handful of stock, she went mental!

Just catching up here... I have had two very hairy babies but very little heartburn. DH and I both pretty hairy though so they never really had a chance.

Do you have many hospital choices near you frenetic? jen can they treat OC? Does it affect the baby or is it dangerous for you?

Had whooping cough jab today and my arm is a bit tender but not too bad. Also saw the consultant due to being 'high risk' due to previous cesarean - though I have since had a VBAC - and managed to convince her I needed another scan just to check on growth since I was measuring just a touch small. It just feels like a really long time to go without knowing what's going on... 20 weeks was a long time ago and 40 weeks still feels like half a lifetime away. I seem to be more nervous this time around, not sure why, I am very lucky so far and have no real cause for concern.

One more thing, I have barely begun Christmas shopping! Not much baby shopping to do though, we've got everything already. Although a lot of it has seen better days... Younger siblings really get a rough deal a lot of the time don't they?

My gosh Frenetic and Jen, you've both had a hard time of it. frenetic, now that you're on leave, find yourself a new hospital. I'd definitely complain about Ms. Air Quotes. How patronising.

I've been awake for hours! I've my 28wk hospital appointment today. my Mum's coming up so I really hope I get a scan. She's never been to one before.
I'm also starting to get quite uncomfortable. Bump is high so even driving it's getting difficult. I've put on about 2 stone since I started. What will I be like in 12 weeks time?!!

I am truely getting fed up with waking in the night and not ebing able to get back to sleep. I don't mind the waking/getting up, but last night my loo trip was followed by a sneezing fit, two different sets of cramps, pelvic pain, and LOTS of baby rummaging around my insides. I can't wait until my day off on Friday, let alone Christmas and a lovely week and a half off work. My powers of concentration and motivation are zero today and not set to improve tomorrow either.

Honey - my next nearest hospital is about 25 minutes away, which actually isn't too bad. And everything I read about it online sings its praises, which is quite different to what I read about my local one!

Will be calling my midwife this morning to get the ball rolling on being transferred, unless anyone knows if it's my GP I need to speak to and not MW?

Grinning I'm the same with sleep. The first time I get up I can get back to sleep but the 2nd time it takes ages. Just as I get comfy lo decides to have a party or the other half turns over and snores in my face. He had the cheek to say he felt like he hadn't slept well last night! That did not go down well.

Frenetic it is your mw you need to speak to, as I have picked a different hospital this time round I was very anxious about it and my mw said she would put my chosen one for scans etc as its easier for me and if later on I wanted to change there is no issue, I was told you can change without question up to 38 weeks

I get the feeling at this stage as long as I don't give birth at my local hospital I'm good. I'd rather go back to my home county of Essex and give birth in the hospital where my Dad passed away. Seriously disgusted with how we've been treated.

Just going through everything the consultant said yesterday so we have a full overview to make a complaint and she said at one point a c-section was 'not normal'. When I pointed out it was perfectly normal and often life saving for some women she firmly said "No, it's NOT normal".

That's the wrong attitude to put across, right?

Not normal? Isn't the national statistic for c section something like 1/5 or 1/4 of all births? Also way to make people feel good if they need a emcs later on.

Scrap that - I've just googled it - its closer to 1/3 of all births.

Either way, she was out of line to talk to us the way she did. The whole thing was awful.

"Why do you want a c-section?"

So I explained our reasons, our research, and pointed out my MW and phyio's recommendation.

"Right... well that "research" is no good. So why do you want a c-section?"

She just kept repeating that question with "I see no reason why you should be allowed one. So why do you want one?"

After she made me cry I asked if she'd ever dislocated a hip and she snapped "How rude! You can't ask me that!".

I didn't think I could get worse than the first consultant who immediately referred to us as a potential statistic.

Ive swapped hospital - literally text midwife said I wanted to swap, she faxed all info off to my hospital of choice and all swapped within 2 weeks - just got appointment through to go see midwife at new hospital and its for a Saturday morning which is awesome

weeelll, i guess i see her point on c sections not being 'normal', if you think that normal probably means a 'normal, intervention-free birth' that everyone bangs on about, but that aside, she's still being out of line

Please don't take this the wrong way, but with everything that's been going on and how horribly you've been treated thus far, I'd just be mega careful to have a bit of a 'deep breath and step back' moment for your complaint to make sure you're being as objective as possible

All the other stuff you've said sounds entirely fair game to raise hell about formally though!

(aaagh, please don't hate me for saying that!!)

My induction is denied but he explained it well so I am happy with it, he said when baby is ok they would only induce at 39.5 weeks but with my fear of a section he said induction is too high a risk to end in a section for him to see it as viable, the stress of it may make my heart go a bit crazy.
He has prescribed beta blockers and booked me to see the anesthetist next weds as they feel going to hospital early on and having an epidural is going to help lower chances of heartrate going crazy. This to me is fab as I have worried about them trying to delay an epidural to make it so it becomes too late to have one.

Frenetic what will you do if the next hospital deny you a section?

It is all in the news today about home births could be possible for 45% of births although a positive in one way I worry they may push this on some who want pain relief, I for one would never of had kids if I didn't drugs at hand....I am no wonder woman more wimpy woman

Memphis- That stuff about home birth made me feel pretty happy, although as my OH said 'shit, what if everyone starts wanting a home birth and there wont be enough midwives to go round?!'- he has a point, I think!!

and glad you've got a happyish outcome on the induction front :)