April 2015 #4 - time to start glowing and growing

[BrixtonBunny]

I thought I'd start a new thread as the old one was almost full up xxx

I only have one actual friend and we have drifted apart quite a bit, she's self employed and I work full time so find it hard to get together regular. Don't think I've seen her in months. She split with her abusive ex last Christmas and now has found a really nice guy. (Who I've yet to meet) but her spare time is spent with him and her other friends who don't work full time. I try and make an effort to text her as often as I can just to touch base and it helps that's she's DHs cousin so I get a good catch up at family gatherings. (Although there will be no getting drunk at this years New Year's Eve party ) I'm just a pretty solitary person my mum, dad and sister are the same. We have work friends but not actual best friends if you know what I mean.

You didn't sound harsh at all FreedomHuntress I just felt I needed to justify that I wasn't been a stalker who expected 100% time and attention from someone. I have invited her out in the evening and she said she doesn't see much of her husband so can't come, we used to go to the cinema once every few months but now I get turned down if I ask. She gets annoyed I have her girls but I've known them since they were 4 months and just born and my boys love them so I don't like to say no. My problem is I'm easily hurt (especially wen hormonal) and I would so love a group of girl friends to do things with and never have, I take it personally and don't really understand why.

Which reusable nappies did you go for, Linda? We used reusables with DS, but I gave a lot away when we moved so will need to buy more. (Plus I was a bit of a nappy addict so I want to, anyway! :))

Lauren, I think many people don't have a best friend, not once we reach adulthood, and especially parenthood. It just seems that everyone else has a best friend, and live their lives like the FRIENDS cast.

Phew, cinnamon. I didn't think you sounded like a stalker! :) I had that group of girls at uni, we were young, free, no ties, simple. Now we all have families, commitments, live in different areas, some of us have moved. It's just not as easy these days, nor, as I said, that common, and I think certain shows (Friends, SaTC) can make us feel like we aren't normal if we don't have a bunch of best friends, people who drop everything to do anything for you etc. I'll be your friend! :)

It's funny how friendships change when you have kids, I'm pretty much the only one among my friends who has small folk and I find myself constantly reminding them that no, I can't just go out on the piss with no advance warning, and I can only really justify leaving DH with DD one or two nights a week, and if he is on a late shift then I can't go out at all, and small folk eat money for breakfast so whilst I don't have a car to run I still don't have that much in the way of throw away funds, so I can't 'Just get a taxi' to go out for a meal or to the cinema, and I certainly can't go out and do anything that prevents me from being at home for DD to get up the next morning. And then people still get arsey with me for not being able to go out and do stuff sigh we do at least have one group who are fairly happy to come here once a week rather than DH or I having to stay at home whilst the other goes out, but there are others who have fallen by the wayside completely and I haven't seen them since before DD was born :(

I'm starting to get definite movements! but i think bump has also found my stomach and deemed it to be a suitable kick bag, as the sickness is back, and comes pretty bloody suddenly, whereas I'd at least get some warning before...

lauren im quite a solitary person. I can come across as really quite sociable but in reality I can only cope with so much before feeling desperate to retreat like a hermit. I really hate sleeping at other peoples houses as it really is a chore to interact with people constantly, especially so soon after waking up!
I have friends, including v close ones but I haven't really had a 'bestie' since school. I can go for a month or two without speaking to my closest friend but thankfully she understands what I'm like so we just pick up from where we left off. You'll notice on here that I kind of drift in and out, that's me to a t really!

I've had a rotten few days ... Nausea has returned with a vengeance, Ricky tummy, full of a cold and sore throat. Off work today so am surrounded by snotty tissues and adding to my Amazon baby wish list.

lindalove are you finding that people are actively offering you their seat or do you almost have to shame them into it? Even when my work colleague had her 8 month baby bump in peoples faces they seemed reluctant to offer!
I'm beginning to seriously research the various cloth nappies and wipes too. I like the sound of the water wipes as a back up but v interested in gougte whole hog with reusable stuff.

I had a bit of an eye opener re breastfeeding this weekend. Found out that OH wasn't breastfed, none of his siblings were, his sister and sis in law didn't breast feed either and seemed positively shocked that I was so determined to do it. I naively thought that breastfeeding would be the norm, especially in 70s Ireland where by MILs own admission things were bloody tight. I also assumed by i had been breastfed but actually checked with my Mum last night, her response - "were you 'eck!' Quite shocked actually, especially when she told me that she wasn't breastfed either!

Any volunteers to start a new thread?

wibble my mum didn't manage to feed me or my sister for long, nor did MiL with DH, mum wasn't breast fed because her mum was too busy being a bloody nutter (i say this in the most loving of ways, but she is a dangerous woman who I wouldn't allow within five miles of DD or bump) from what I've determined from some of my friends and family either you and baby do really well and breastfeed without looking back (i have a friend who never had any problems and then struggled to actually get her DD off the breast!), or you really struggle, and without the support in place to help you through the struggle you switch to formula.

I've researched into all of the breastfeeding breakfasts in my area though, and I fully plan to go to all of them, as getting encouragement from breastfeeding mums rather than "you've tried really hard, why don't we give her some formula now" might help me stick with it better than last time. But I'm also equipping myself with a pump in the hope of using it after feeds to up my supply and fenugreek capsules to up my supply too, so I'm hoping to just think about babies and leak milk... :P

Oh I can do it. what shall we call it?

Wow Mswibbles I'm a bit shocked about that too. Me and my sister were bf, my sister bf her 2 DDs for at least 6months but I think that was a bit combined feeding, my young cousins combined feed their DDs and I hold the record for bf till 14months my aforementioned friend never bothered even trying and ff both of hers (and complained loudly about the price of formula) and DHs cousin with the new baby is being bf for the moment.

I'll certainly do it again but naming more of an effort to express so DH and DD can get involved. DH had a bit of depression after DD and we pin pointed it down to feeling a bit left out.

New thread is here

cinnamon re the calories one of the staff at the hospital said it and it was also on one of the healthy living websites I looked at. I too though 700 was a lot though!, It also said that your body will need 2700 calories a day when producing breastmilk! Still being sick so I don't think I'm even getting 2000 per day at the moment.

They usually say 500 a day for bf, I certainly could eat a lot of chocolate and not gain weight while bf I didn't want to eat it at all while pregnant and the day after I have birth and then onwards made up for it!!!!

Just realise this is the old thread, we've moved Hidingthefear :) see post above yours