April 2015 thread 2 for miscarriage survivors. today we are pregnant!

[TinyTear]

Thread 2
Nearly at the 12w mark for all and we can start some stats!

14+0

I'm still here Tiny. I wasn't feeling great yesterday so I took the day off from work. I'm not allowed sick leave so I told them that DS was sick

I still haven't told my manager yet. I confided in one of the PA's at work and she's looking into some info regarding falling pregnancy during the probation period. She has advised me to hold off telling my manger until she digs up some info.

The company that I am working for has a great maternity package and a financial bonus once you return to work after maternity leave. Unfortunately I am not entitled to either as I haven't been here a year :(

And I'll add my stats once I get to the magical second trimester..... it's next Sunday!

Well, I've just been advised to keep quite about my pregnancy until I pass my probation period. My probation ends on 2 Jan 2015..... how on earth can I hide my bump until then?! I will be about 24 weeks pregnant!

Ouch London. Can you take any holiday? A very large poncho? Or just stop hiding it and if they ask just say you have been putting weight on your tummy and start crying!

Seriously, thought I don't think they can hold your pregnancy against you during your probation. Why don't you make a post in the employment section, there are a few regulars that are very good on employment law.

Bloody hell! What sort of industry is it? Very competitive?

That seems wrong!

Thanks LIG, I'll try and post in legal tonight.

No not all Tiny. It's a messed up industry (engineering). I'm not even allowed sick leave during my probation period :(

I regret changing jobs now but hey hindsight is a wonderful thing.... just when I've decided that I need to change jobs (hated my old job) and accept that TTC will not happen naturally for us, I fall pregnant! The grand plan was to pass probation and go for IVF in January..... but Bunny had other ideas

I wish that I can give up work and all this headache but unfortunately we've just taken out a big mortgage and I need to carry on work - sob sob.

Is anyone planning to give up work once their bundle of joy is here? I definitely want to work part time as I missed out so much with DS when he was growing up.

I went back full time with dd but am half thinking of four days a week

If work allows me then I'm thinking of 3 days a week - Mon-Wed sounds great to me :)

London- post in employment not legal but they have people who know lots about employment law. Your company sounds tough to work for. (I also work in engineering but for a Swedish company that pay badly but look after their staff.)

I do compressed hours so 5 days in 4. I think I will do that after dc2 too at least until dd starts school and then I will need to look at logistics. I thought that if I cut down to 4 days I would just loose 20% of my salary as I cannot see me loosing 20% of my work. Also with a team, I still sometimes need to answer calls on my day off.

I wasn't planning on being back at work for as long as I have been and our maternity package is great so full time hours means more money whilst off.

London I gave up work a few weeks back! I was a nanny so I was always going to say home but I was considering going to Uni but that is on hold for now.

Well appointment went fine didn't get a chance to properly speak to consultant so there isn't much more of a plan other than scanning me every two weeks.
The cervix is still closed, the amnotic fluid looks normal and he agrees he wants he at home resting just incase gravity is also a factor.
And they confirmed swabs and bloods are normal.
So not much has changed for me but at least nothing concerning is happening either.

I was coming on to suggest posting in employment but others have beaten me to it!
I would have thought that hiding it is bad advice as presumably they can't get rid of you solely because you're pregnant - having it on record might be beneficial no? I'm no expert though and there are several experts on the employment board so definitely try there.
Also, scarves and things might be better at hiding bumps than loose clothes - or possibly as well as - but bursting into tears and mumbling something about doughnuts may also work.

Glad the appointment looks good littlebairn. Hopefully you'll see the consultant next time.

I work 3 days a week - for me it's the perfect balance.

Seems good little! Hang in there

Good news little

shetland it was the consultant who did the trans-scan it was just all very quick and I though we would get to talk afterwards but it didn't happen. Plus the Dr that examined me on fropiday was there so I didn't feel comfortable raising my complaint.
Next time I'll be slower getting my underwear off so we can speak.

Friday but it was actually Satarday.....please tell me my brain cells will stop dying at some point?!

Oh, that's not so good little - I don't understand consultants who can't make time to actually talk you - they must understand your worries, surely?

Good news Little!

I am hoping to drop down to 2 or 3 days a week, as long as DP is working it will be managable as I would earn pittance if I had to spend it all on childcare and I really couldn't see the point. Being that I work for myself I should be able to make it quite flexible but we'll see...

shetland it was frustrating especially since I haven't seen him since I was 8 weeks. Ordinarily I would insist on another Dr but this one (a professor) is very eminent in his field and possibily one of the best in the UK.
My feelings now are I need to get as close to 24 weeks are possible as they have no ideas on how to help now but I think once things start kicking off they will be much more pro active in helping me and may save this baby.
It's a bit if a gamble tbh and if I knew it was going to be like this I'm not sure I would have got pregnant again.
But I make kick ass babies so I'm sure this little one one won't give up easy!

That's the way to go little! Good news, hope you can relax a bit while resting.
london I guess you're not in a union, they might have a legal helpline if your employer doesn't have any kind of confidential assistance program? Perhaps I'm naive, didn't think people could be dismissed for pregnancy these days probationary period or not - that's about performance isn't it? Good luck getting a clear answer.

As far as I know you can be dismissed on probation for any reason at all - except for those things covered by discrimination laws which do still apply. Pregnancy should be included in that, which is why I'm questioning not telling them. Tbh if you're 24 weeks at the end of your probation then they will know you're pregnant even if you haven't told them.
Did you post in employment? I really think you need some proper advice on this. CAB might be an idea too.

LIG hope your scan goes well - what time is it?

Good news little

im lucky because my bosses want me to take the baby to work with me, and since both my charges are at school I will get to spend all day with my little one.

smiling I might have done that too (family happy, been with them for years) but its the 3 hour commute that was the problem.
They knew about DS (my HG outed me to the 3 year old! somehow he knew sickness= pregnancy) so I really want them to meet they are so desperate for me to have a baby.

Luckily my commute is only 20mins and I only work 3 days a week, possibly going up to 4. Ive been with them for 6 years, since the youngest was 8mths so I think its easier for them to say bring the baby than it is for them to adjust to a new nanny.

Would you consider finding a job as nwoc or are you done with nannying?

No, I haven't posted in the employment section yet. I'm feeling quite rough at the moment - I think I'm coming down with something :(

I know that they can't dismiss me due to my pregnancy. But if they wanted to they can find plenty of ways to get rid of me. I have worked for large international firms and I know how they work, they can justify anything!

Little great news!

LIG do you have a scan today? If so, best of luck!

I'm planning to spend this Saturday shopping for bigger / maternity clothes. All of my clothes (bras included) are really tight. Has anyone bought any maternity gear yet?